On the first night of her new life, Mei Wanying slept restlessly. In a daze, she felt as if she had returned to her past life.
Everything she had experienced flashed endlessly through her mind.
It was chaotic.
The memory that ultimately trapped her was the time she spent married to Pei Yan.
She had forced him into marriage, and not only did their relationship turn icy, but even the people of the Prince Mansion looked down on her.
On the surface, they were respectful. They never skimped on her food or expenses, but in reality, they didn't obey her orders at all.
No matter what she did, they just watched with cold indifference.
They would only emerge occasionally to stop her from setting foot in certain parts of the mansion.
Everything in the mansion was managed by designated people. She wasn't needed to review the account books or manage the staff.
She was a complete outsider in the mansion.
Mei Wanying finally realized that when Pei Yan had said her life and death had nothing to do with him, it wasn't just words spoken in anger.
He proved with his actions that even though she had married him, she could not enter his heart or become part of his life.
On the surface, she was Princess Consort Chen, but in reality, she was just an outsider!
Life was difficult for Mei Wanying in the Prince Mansion, and it was the same outside its walls.
Every time she entered the palace, the Empress would either make her copy scriptures "to atone for her sins" or punish her by making her stand and ignoring her.
No matter what she did, she could never win a kind look from the Empress.
She wasn't the woman Pei Yan wanted to marry, nor did she please the Empress.
Consequently, the various noble houses stopped inviting her to their banquets. When she did go out on occasion, Mei Wanying would even be subjected to people pointing and staring.
Those gazes of mockery and schadenfreude fell on her like knives.
They drew no blood, yet the pain made her want to cry.
Being ostracized everywhere she went… the feeling was unbearable.
Mei Wanying didn't know who to confide in. She wrote letters to Pei Yan, but he never replied.
He really did what he said!
Gradually, Mei Wanying stopped wanting to go out. Just as Pei Yan had predicted, she guarded that vast residence, left to wither away on her own.
The residence was so opulent.
And so cold.
In just a few short months, Mei Wanying withered rapidly, transforming from a charming, cheerful girl who loved to laugh into a lifeless figure.
She thought she would die in that lonely, cold residence, but one day, she suddenly had morning sickness.
After the doctor took her pulse, he said she was over three months pregnant.
Before this, Mei Wanying had been so melancholy that she hadn't even considered pregnancy when her period didn't come.
She never expected that a small life had quietly begun to sprout in her womb.
Mei Wanying cried and laughed at the same time. It seemed there might be a turning point for her and Pei Yan.
As if clutching at the last straw, Mei Wanying went to the Border without a second thought, attempting to move Pei Yan with the news of their child.
'The things he dislikes, I'll change them.'
'Just as long as he doesn't leave me alone in the mansion.'
She truly couldn't bear those days of being ostracized everywhere she went!
On the way to the Border, Mei Wanying's heart was filled with apprehension.
She comforted herself, 'The worst that can happen is that Pei Yan will give me the cold shoulder and say a few harsh words.'
'He's not going to hit me.'
'As long as I'm thick-skinned enough, for the sake of the child, Pei Yan will soften.'
Mei Wanying was both apprehensive and expectant.
The first moment she saw Pei Yan, she held back her tears and forced the corners of her mouth into a smile.
Before she could even speak, the man stared intently at her belly, his face contorting with fury.
"Mei Wanying, who told you to come here!"
"Go back immediately!"
A sting filled Mei Wanying's nose, and her chest felt so tight she couldn't breathe. Her red lips parted slightly as she took a sharp breath, only then feeling as if she'd come back to life.
As if she couldn't read the expression on his face, Mei Wanying said with a beaming smile, "Ah Yan, the baby misses you."
She missed Pei Yan, too.
So much, so very much!
Pei Yan's face was as dark as a thundercloud, showing none of the joy of an expectant father.
His handsome brows were drawn low with restraint, and his jaw was clenched tight.
He said, "Mei Wanying, you're still the same as ever, always forcing people to do things against their will."
The smile Mei Wanying had forced onto her face fell away. Helplessness filled her eyes. She didn't know what to say or do to make Pei Yan give her even a single kind look.
Her silence only made the man's expression grow more irritated. He immediately ordered his men to send her back to the Capital City.
"Don't show your face here again."
He said, "It's annoying."
The tears Mei Wanying had been holding back for so long finally fell.
Her emotions had been stretched taut, and seeing Pei Yan hadn't brought any relief.
He was cold and heartless, unwilling to spare her another glance.
Her emotions in turmoil, Mei Wanying felt a suffocating tightness in her chest and suddenly fainted.
The doctor said she was showing signs of a potential miscarriage and needed to rest, that she couldn't endure a long journey.
So, despite Pei Yan's reluctance, she ended up staying at the Border.
Mei Wanying felt that the heavens had given her a chance.
As it turned out, she was wrong again.
Pei Yan dealt her the most despairing blow, and she could no longer deceive herself.
As she prepared to return to the Capital City, the thought of divorce entered Mei Wanying's mind for the first time.
She was a person, not a stone.
She could feel pain.
She could feel wronged and sad.
She didn't want to be treated so coldly anymore.
She was willing to set Pei Yan free, to let him be with the one he loved.
Mei Wanying's youth had been smooth sailing, but her later years were fraught with hardship at every step.
She never made it back to the Capital City.
Nor did she ever divorce Pei Yan.
She died just like that, taking the child in her womb with her—a single tragedy taking two lives.
"Miss, wake up..."
In the chaos of her mind, Mei Wanying heard someone calling her name anxiously.
Immediately after, warm medicinal liquid was poured into her mouth. A wave of bitterness washed over her, and Mei Wanying finally broke free from her nightmare and regained consciousness.
Ding Xiang was scared to death. She was two years younger than Mei Wanying, and tears were now streaming down her face.
"The doctor said you were trapped in a nightmare because you have too much on your mind. Miss, if you're unhappy about something, you can let it out. Don't keep it bottled up inside."
Mrs. Mei was speaking with the doctor in the outer room. Hearing voices, she hurried inside.
"Ah Yin, how are you feeling?"
Stroking Mei Wanying's pale little face, Mrs. Mei was filled with self-reproach.
'Ah Yin was terrified by that incident.'
'The affairs of our household are simple; she's never witnessed the schemes of the inner courts. Last night, she must have gotten more and more scared the more she thought about it, which is why she was trapped in a nightmare.'
'I have to get Pei Yan to propose marriage soon. Only then can we dispel the anxiety and fear in Ah Yin's heart.'
Meeting her mother's concerned gaze, Mei Wanying felt a stone settle in her heart. She couldn't act coquettishly with her mother like she used to.
Two voices were arguing in her head.
One said: 'Mother is doing this for your own good. Besides, you like Pei Yan, too. It's a brilliant plan that kills two birds with one stone—you can get away from the Crown Prince and marry the man you love!'
The other voice said: 'You're a living person, not a puppet on a string! She can't do things you haven't agreed to under the banner of "it's for your own good"!'
'Your mother's health is poor. You can't anger her. She really is doing this for you.'
'But she still can't do it this way...'
The two voices refused to yield to one another. Mei Wanying's head began to ache, and she subconsciously reached for her temples, but Mrs. Mei beat her to it.
Mrs. Mei personally began to massage her temples for her.
Mei Wanying lowered her gaze, staring blankly at the embroidery on her quilt.
After a long while, she finally said, "Mother, I'm fine."
A bitter feeling grew in Mei Wanying's heart. 'How wonderful would it be if I had been reborn before last night?'
She was tired.
She didn't want to get entangled with Pei Yan again.
But the truth will always come out. Could this matter really be hidden from Pei Yan for a lifetime?