A bit later, we make our way to the cafeteria. I'm looking forward to finally being able to choose my own food portions - every sandwich brought to my hospital bed has been so short on mayonnaise that I could barely taste it, you know?
The lunch line is pretty empty - we're arriving about an hour late, after all - but there's still enough food for me to get a decent looking plate together.
"Ooh, steamed potatoes." I mutter. "I've got incredibly high standards, so these better be good!"
"Why high standards about the potatoes in particular…?" Mordred deadpans. Incidentally, since we don't have any ways to get supplies from outside, she's not actually allowed to eat anything unless we can solve that problem. "Oi, Master, what's that stuff you're piling onto your plate there? Some kind of yogurt?"
"Hm? Oh, it's mayonnaise." I say as I fill the third of my plate that I'd reserved for it.
"...Eh? Isn't that just supposed to be a condiment, though?" She asks, bewildered.
"Hah! Didn't you know, mayonnaise is one of the main food groups for the Natsuki family!" I answer while we make our way to a table. "Carbs, Fats, Proteins, and Mayonnaise!"
"Of course I didn't know! How the hell would I?" She shoots back, exasperated. "Also, doesn't mayonnaise fall firmly into the fats category!?"
I chuckle as I approach the seat I scoped out - only to pause at an unexpected sight. Slumped over the table, unmoving… is a corpse.
"Ugh…" It moans, shifting slightly.
"Ah! Zombie!" I yell, and Mordred slaps the back of my head.
"Oh… Senpai. And… Mordred." Groans Mash Kyrielight. "Good… afternoon." I stay calm for the few seconds it takes for me to put my food down, and then I quickly move around the table to make sure she's actually okay.
"Mash! Oh god, who did this to you! I'll avenge you, don't worry!" I shout, knowing full well that-
"She's just tired from training." Mordred points out.
"I know, I know." I chuckle. "I'm just re-using an old joke." Well, poor Emilia-tan did actually think I had been attacked after my first day of parkour training. But after that, Ram and I picked it up and ran with it for a few days.
'Barusu has been attacked again - Garf, it's your job to avenge him.' 'I've been defeated… we'll need to sacrifice someone else to appease the parkour course, so you're up, Otto.'
"Fou!" A high pitched cry interrupts my trip down memory lane at the same moment that a white blur latches onto my face.
"O-oi! I'm happy to see you too, but get off!" I yell at the small critter, who scurries onto my shoulder. Mash gives a tired chuckle in response, and I sit down to start my meal.
"...Bluh. These potatoes are terrible! The rest of the food is good, but these are unforgivable!" I complain. "I'm gonna need to find the cook and give them remedial lessons!"
"Um… Senpai… are the potatoes… that important?" Mash interjects.
"Of course! They're incredibly important - back in the kitchen that I learned to cook in, you weren't even allowed to start learning other dishes before you learned to make steamed potatoes!" I explain, and then I lean forward conspiratorially. "Of course, that was because the only dish Nee-sama could make was steamed potatoes, but if she somehow shows up here, you didn't learn that from me."
"Ah… so you too, are a victim of the Camelot diet." Mordred says with a sigh, patting my shoulder.
"Camelot… diet?" I ask.
"Ah… I just felt a deep-seated terror, for some reason?" Mash says with some visible confusion.
"Potatoes. Carrots. Bread. Vinegar. Ale." Mordred says with dead eyes. "Didn't you know? Those were the five main food groups of the Round Table. In fact, those were the only five foods available in Camelot."
"...Weren't potatoes only brought over from America in the 1500s, though?" Mash points out.
"Ah, you might be right." Mordred mutters, and then pauses, a slightly horrified look on her face. "Then… what the hell was Gawain feeding us, all those years!?"
***
Eventually, Mordred wanders off to the training room in order to test her new weapon, leaving me alone with Mash.
"...So, how are you holding up?" I finally ask.
"I'm… fine, mostly. Actually, I've gotten a lot stronger after becoming a Demi-Servant, so I can't complain." She says with a small smile. "Well, the training is a bit harsh, but it's probably necessary. If the Servant lending me their power really is a Knight of the Round Table, then I should be capable of a lot more than this, right?"
"Eh…" I wave my hand in the air a bit as I add another spoonful of under-seasoned potatoes to my mouth. "I feel like for every monster like Mordred or Lancelot, there's a good chance they also had someone useless like me. It's not like martial skill is the only reason to promote someone-"
"No! You're not useless, Senpai! In fact, I'm sure that without you, we never would have-!" She shouts.
"Ah, no, no. You're misunderstanding a bit. I just meant that I'm useless in combat, you know?" I say with a smile. "I'm not a Servant, and my ability with magic is pretty limited, so all I can really do is scheme like crazy and try to gain an edge with cheap tricks. I'm well aware of my niche."
"O-oh. Um, sorry, I jumped to conclusions." She says, blushing.
"Don't worry about it! I know it's painful to hear me trash-talk myself - it's sort of a bad habit of mine that I've been trying to kick." I sigh. "But on the other hand, I'm also the type of guy who gets a big head way too easily… Well, for now, how's this?"
I hold my pinky out to her, and she tilts her head a bit.
"This whole mess is gonna be a big enough problem without the two of us crippled by self-doubt the entire way. So let's make a deal, Mash-tan! Between Master and Servant. Between this surprisingly reliable Senpai and surprisingly reliable Kouhai." I give her a serious look. "From here on out… if I think you're screwing up, I'll tell you. And if you think I'm screwing up, you tell me. And so, unless you tell me I'm failing, I'll believe that I'm meeting your expectations. And unless I tell you that you're failing, you should believe that you're meeting my expectations."
Mash stares at me for a few seconds, wide-eyed. Eventually, I start to withdraw my hand, scratching the back of my head. "Sorry. Was that a bit too much?"
Suddenly, her hand shoots forwards, and her pinky intertwines with mine. Her face is red, and she's not looking at me, but she nods, just a little. "That, um… sounds good. Th-thank you, Senpai-!"
"Right, it's a promise, then. Total honesty, going forwards." I grin. "But, we've gotta prove it to each other, first."
She turns back towards me, confused. "Um, prove it…?"
"That's what I said. A promise like this is no good if we don't follow through with it. So, let's each offer the other some criticism. Because, I'm certain, on some level, we each had complaints about the other in Fuyuki, right?" I explain, nodding.
"R-right." She glances away for a moment. "Um, do you want to go first…?"
"Sure." I breathe in. "Please get a different set of armor!"
"E-eh!? But, um, it came like that! Can I just change it, like that-?" Mash says, red-faced.
"Please do! Seeing you run around with your stomach exposed the whole time, puts way too much stress on my heart, in more ways than one!" I yell. My own status as a hot-blooded male aside, exposed stomachs on the battlefield seem like a recipe that would make that damn intestine-loving pervert from back home a bit too happy!
"R-right! I'll, um, talk to Da Vinci-chan about it!" She says with a polite bow, and then gets up to start walking away.
"Oi. You forgot your part." I say deadpan. "Criticism for me, please. Oh, but please don't make it about my scary-looking eyes or something. I can't do anything about those."
"O-of course not! Senpai's eyes, aren't that scary!" She protests. "Um… well, there is one big thing. That… [Cor Leonis] thing of yours."
"Hm? Right, I only explained it to Roman. Do you want me to tell you-?" I start.
"Please, don't use that power anymore." She says, and I freeze.
I laugh nervously. She's not serious, right? [Cor Leonis] doesn't have the same penalty as [Invisible Providence], and it doesn't even cost mana, so- "You know, that's one of my only useful abilities…"
"Senpai… that ability is..." She looks away from me, not meeting my eyes. "It's scary. It's way too scary. Because… even though I was doing my best to keep you safe, you kept getting hurt! Even though Saber wasn't attacking you, you were still injured! If it wasn't for Avalon, you would have been killed!"
"That… it's not like I enjoy getting hurt, you know? But it's still a useful option - in fact, it's a lot more usable than my other options, so-"
"Senpai... what good is my shield, if I can't even defend you?" Mash says, tears pooling in her eyes.
Ah. That's right. It's not that [Cor Leonis] has no penalty. It was only my own disregard for my safety that made me think like that. It still hurts me to use it. I just wasn't thinking of it in that way, since it feels less arbitrary than the random pain from using [Invisible Providence]. But, there's no way that injuring myself for my allies' sake is something viable long term.
But, even so...
"...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I worried you with it. But, even so…" I say.
She starts to cry. "Senpai, you…!"
Damn it all. I don't want to make a promise I won't keep. I'm supposed to keep my promises. Promises are important, promises are important, promises are important. Emilia-tan already drilled that into my head.
But despite that…
"...Fine. I'll do my very best not to use it going forwards. Not unless it proves absolutely necessary." I say. Even though I know I'll just end up making up my own justification, deciding it's necessary all on my own.
"...Do you promise?" She asks, sniffling.
"...I promise."
The words taste like ashes in my mouth.