Chapter 31: The Strongest Teaching Session in History
"Sensei, do we really not need to call Mr. Ijichi?"
Yuji Itadori asked from the back seat, watching the scenery blur past the window with a trace of unease.
"It's fine, it's fine."
Satoru Gojo lounged in the driver's seat, one hand on the wheel while humming some off tune melody. His sunglasses were gone, leaving those pale blue eyes fully exposed.
"That guy talks way too much. Rules this, procedures that. If I listen to him any longer, my ears are going to fall off."
He grinned as he tapped the steering wheel.
"Besides, today is a relaxation day after special training."
"Our destination is Sendai's famous Kikufuku. I reserved the limited edition edamame and cream flavor. If we're late, it'll all be sold out."
In the passenger seat, Yami sat with Shiranui across his lap, eyes closed as he rested.
Though Gojo had more or less dragged him out by force, he did not mind this rare moment of quiet. Ever since arriving in this world, all he had done was kill cursed spirits and throw himself into harsh training. Going out to buy sweets like an ordinary person felt strangely unfamiliar.
"Yami, be a little more excited."
Gojo glanced at him with exaggerated disappointment.
"This is a social practice session specially arranged by your beloved teacher."
Yami slowly opened his eyes.
"Buying desserts counts as social practice?"
"Of course it does. Sugar is essential for brain function, especially for jujutsu sorcerers."
Gojo started speaking with the confidence of a man making things up as he went.
But before he could continue, his eyes suddenly sharpened.
Screech!
The black sedan came to a violent stop in the middle of the road, the tires scraping out a long, shrill mark across the asphalt.
"Ow!"
Yuji slammed forward and smacked his forehead against the front seat.
"Sensei, what happened? Did the Kikufuku sell out?!"
"No."
Gojo unbuckled his seatbelt and pushed open the car door, a playful smile already curling at his lips.
"A customer's here."
At almost the same moment, Yami's hand closed around the hilt of Shiranui.
The temperature outside rose.
This was not the warmth of summer. It was a scorching, oppressive heat, like standing at the mouth of a volcano.
Boom!
The asphalt road ahead suddenly exploded.
A column of molten lava surged skyward and blasted their car into the air.
Then, like meteors falling from a volcanic sky, chunks of burning rock wrapped in black smoke crashed down toward the three of them.
"Lava?!"
Yuji flailed in panic as the world flipped upside down around him.
"Why is there lava on the highway?!"
"Don't panic."
A figure suddenly appeared behind him and caught him by the collar.
It was Gojo.
Rather than pulling Yuji down to safety, he simply stood suspended in midair. An invisible boundary surrounded them, keeping the lava and burning debris hanging a full meter away from their bodies.
"Yuji. Yami."
Gojo pointed downward as calmly as if he were leading a field trip.
"Watch closely."
Standing amidst the sea of lava below was a one eyed cursed spirit with a volcanic head and flames rising from its skull.
"This is a true Special Grade Cursed Spirit. Intelligent, capable of communication, and equipped with a complete set of techniques."
His grin widened.
"Completely different from the one you fought at the juvenile detention center."
Then he raised a finger and wagged it.
"But before that, I'm going to ask you a question."
"Yuji, do you know the difference between Cursed Energy and a Cursed Technique?"
"Huh?"
Yuji blinked, still hanging in the air.
"Cursed Energy is like... electricity?"
He scratched his head.
"And a Cursed Technique is like... an appliance?"
"Correct! Full marks!"
Gojo snapped his fingers in delight, then turned toward Yami.
"So then, Yami. You don't have Cursed Energy. In that case, what are Breathing Techniques in this analogy?"
Yami stared at the lava below for a moment before answering.
"Breathing Techniques..."
He spoke calmly.
"They're like an internal combustion engine."
"They burn oxygen and fuel directly to create power."
Gojo burst into delighted laughter.
"An internal combustion engine? What a wonderfully violent comparison."
Below them, Jogo's single eye twitched.
He had launched a surprise attack, turned the road into a volcanic crater, and appeared with overwhelming force, only to find the strongest sorcerer in the modern era casually hovering in midair and conducting a lesson like this was a school outing.
"Gojo Satoru...!"
Jogo's voice shook with fury.
"I will reduce you to ash and offer your corpse to this land!"
Boom!
He slammed a hand down.
Several nearby hills instantly collapsed, their earth melting into an avalanche of blazing lava that surged toward the three figures in the sky like a natural disaster.
The scene looked apocalyptic.
And yet, faced with that world ending attack, Gojo did not dodge.
Instead, he pulled out his phone.
"Come on, Yami, Yuji. Look at the camera."
He held the phone up cheerfully.
"It's not every day you meet such an enthusiastic Special Grade. Let's take a group picture."
"Huh? Right now?!"
Yuji's face went blank, but he still raised his hand on instinct and flashed a peace sign.
Yami, on the other hand, expressionlessly let Gojo sling an arm over his shoulder. His crimson eyes never left Jogo below, as if he were already calculating where he would cut.
Click.
The flash went off.
The background was a roaring inferno and a sea of lava.
In the foreground were Gojo's blinding grin, Yuji's dumbfounded peace sign, and Yami's utterly indifferent face.
Jogo froze.
Then exploded.
"DAMN YOU!!!"
He had been ignored. Completely and utterly ignored.
He was a Special Grade Cursed Spirit, born from humanity's fear of volcanic eruptions and natural disasters. A calamity capable of burning cities to the ground.
And this man was taking selfies with his students in the middle of battle.
"Who do you think you're looking down on?!"
Jogo roared and slammed both hands into the lava below.
"Ember Insects! Swallow them!"
Buzzing filled the sky.
Countless grotesque insect like curses rose from the lava, their tails burning with purple flame. They gathered in the air like a living storm, forming a vast swarm of fire and death that rushed toward Gojo and the others.
"Oh? You really are good at playing with bugs."
Gojo slipped his phone away and snapped his fingers idly.
"But..."
His smile turned almost lazy.
"They're too slow."
In the Six Eyes, every attack Jogo launched might as well have been frozen.
Even now, Gojo still had the leisure to turn his head toward Yami.
"Yami, if it were you, what would you do against an attack like this?"
Yami looked at the overwhelming tide of ember insects.
His fingers tightened slightly around Shiranui's hilt.
"Too messy."
He gave the verdict without hesitation.
"If it were me..."
His eyes narrowed.
"I'd cut them all down."
"Bingo. Exactly."
Gojo snapped his fingers again.
"But as your teacher, today I'll demonstrate what true untouchable distance really means."
At that very moment, the boundless purple sea of fire and insects swallowed the three of them whole.
Seeing that, Jogo's cruel smile returned.
"It's over."
His one eye gleamed with murderous delight.
"Arrogant sorcerer, burn in my flames and repent!"
But in the very next second, from deep within that blazing sea, a thoroughly irritating voice drifted out.
"Oh. That's a little hot."
There was a pause.
Then Gojo added with shameless cheer,
"Wouldn't you agree, Yami?"
.....
[If you don't want to wait for the next update, read 10–50 chapters ahead on P@treon.]
[[email protected]/FanficLord03]
[One Piece, Naruto, Bleach, Soul Land, NBA, and more — all in one place.]