Chapter 09
***Song for this chapter is: I'LL BE BY EDWIN MCCAIN. You will be prompted when to start it.
Seoul, South Korea
~Phoebe~
He was standing too close, sucking all the air out of an open space should be impossible, but he did it.
I could feel the warmth radiating off his body, and with the cool breeze, part of me wanted to lean into it. And that bothered the hell out of me.
His warm breath sent goosebumps running rampant over my skin.
Why was he even here?
What is his deal?
"Why are you being so weird?"
"I don't think I'm being weird." He answered flatly, with a ridiculous smirk.
"Just days ago, you didn't even want me in the same seat row as you on an airplane and today you're breathing down my neck and whispering in my ear, that screams weird to me." I reminded him sharply.
"I think I'm a man of many masks." He said slickly.
"I'm not into masquerades." I hit him back with something I thought was equally as witty.
"People can change, promise." His words hit like nails on a chalkboard.
My Abeoji told my mother he would change.
He never did. My happy and playful mood soured instantly. My throat dried and breathing felt like sandpaper. The unhappy memories and their feeling started bubbling inside me. Threatening to burst from me.
"People don't change. They never change." I turned and shoved him back, hard and I took off, running like there would be no tomorrow.
I needed out. There were too many people. He was too close. There were too many sounds, too much movement. I squeezed my hands together tighter as I ran; I could feel my nails cutting into my skin. I couldn't catch my breath. My heart was pounding, and the bone deep fear took over… He could be anywhere, anyone in this crowd and I had no idea. I had to go; he can't find me here.
The world was spinning but I still weaved in and out of the crowd smoothly. I looked around, trying to find a place to tuck away and calm down. My heart was pounding so hard I felt like I was having a heart attack. My throat was dry it hurt to swallow.
There it was a spot to tuck into, community garden with a tree orchard and tall wooden fencing.
After running there, I surprisingly found it was unlocked. I searched for a place I could tuck into and hide. I had to hide. He can't find me here.
Perfect, there's a shed.
I rush over and found a keyhole. And shook the handle. Damn it's locked. I just fell to the dirt. Tucked my legs into my chest and wrapped my arms around my knees and I let the tears flow from me. Tears I've never let fall. Because I've never been this alone. Alone enough I could be vulnerable with myself.
I didn't care that my white dress was dirtied. I didn't care to notice the sudden darkening of the clouds that started pulling in more, I didn't care that hard drops of rain started to fall from the sky, soaking my hair and dress, turning the dirt into mud.
I didn't care about any of that.
All that mattered was I had found a place to hide. A place to cry freely.
I let the ungodly wail rip from my mouth.
My phone was buzzing in my bag. No doubt it was Cherry freaking out about me running off in such a hurry.
The rain started slow at first.
I don't really care how I looked to everyone else. But to her. To Taeyung, I probably looked crazy. And the thought stung. More tears fell. It was raining so hard now, and I was so soaked I couldn't tell what my tears was and what was rain.
How is it even after moving across the world, he can still manage to ruin my days. Force me to still live in fear.
It's so unfair.
I sobbed with my knees tucked into my chest tighter. Feeling the desperate need to just disappear, the scars on my back ached as the memory of his belt ripping across my back replayed in my mind.
With each strike's replay my body flinched and shuddered.
***Play song now I'LL BE BY EDWIN MCCAIN***
"Hey, you don't have to cry because it's raining, and your dress is muddy. I can give you my jacket hoodie, it would be a dress on you anyways."
I look up shocked anyone had found me.
It was Kim Taeyung, squatting in front of me, the rain falling down drenching his silky black hair.
"Fuck your eyes are red. Your dress really isn't that bad; I'll get you a new one. Just stop crying, okay?" he reached out, and I flinched, pulling back.
He froze for a moment and then continued more slowly, he cupped my cheeks with his large hands.
They were softer than I would have guessed.
He wiped the water streaks that were clearly tears, from my cheeks.
"It's going to be okay, promise." He whispered quietly.
I blinked slowly, surprised by his behavior. This guy is nothing like the airplane and café guy I've met so far.
He did wear a lot of masks. And so far, this was the only one I liked.
Dripping wet in the rain, squatting down, and looking at me like I mattered. Like my pain mattered.
It broke something in me; a new rush of tears flooded my eyes. I dropped my eyes to the ground and my shoulders shuddered from the sobs.
What he did next left me speechless.
He sat down in the mud next to me and pulled me into his hold and rubbed my back.
What I did next surprised me even more I leaned in and let him.
I never let men touch me. Ever. And here I am sobbing in some asshole's arms in the rain.
I melted. Right then and there.
"You scared your friend back there, you know?" he whispered low rubbing my head softly.
I nodded without looking up.
The last person to comfort me like this was Mouse after one of the worst whipping sessions I ever had. I couldn't go to school the next day because I was still bleeding.
After the second day, I guess Mouse new something was wrong, so she skipped school, stole her dad's car and crawled through my window. She took me away that day. Her parent's knew things were bad but didn't know until much later that it was that bad. No one but Mouse ever knew, so she was the only one who ever comforted me, took care of my lashes. Put make up to cover my bruises at school.
But I didn't have Mouse.
But right now.
I had Him.
"Let's go, I know a place we can dry off, and no one will be there."
I nodded.
He rose to his feet and pulled me after.
I was a puddle, and he didn't make it a big deal.
He wasn't trying to cheer me up anymore.
He just let me exist in whatever state I was in, and I couldn't be more grateful.
We just walked in a comfortable silence. I couldn't stop looking at him.
He wasn't kidding his hoodie was a dress on me. He was tall, I could see that plain as day, but like he didn't look this tall.
My eyes sizing him and looking back at the jacket and back at him again, trying to make it make sense.
But it didn't.
"Are you undressing me with your eyes, miss?"
My cheeks instantly warmed and I know he can see the pink in them. I felt so embarrassed.
"No, this hoodie is huge, but you don't look that big, so I kept checking to see if I'm tripping or something." I told him the truth.
"Sure, it's not my wet clothes." He smirked.
"I think I'm really starting to hate that smirk. I've seen it three times, and each time I like it less and less." I scoffed.
"You liked it at one point though? That means you can like it again." He gave me the same smirk for a fourth time.
"I really don't like you right now." I mumbled with a low growl.
"I heard that, and it doesn't matter. You liked me earlier and you'll like me later after your dry and we get you another dress." He was being so generous, it was actually making me uncomfortable… This isn't for free, or out of the kindness of his heart.
"What do you really want?"
"Nothing really, but since you keep pushing it. A favor. One day, I want a favor from you, and you have to do whatever it is," He paused and examined my shocked and souring face.
"And no, stop thinking like that, it's not sex. I don't force girls. I don't need too; there's no shortage of women that offer themselves to me." He bragged, annoyingly.
"Someone's real fuckin cocky aren't they." I jabbed back at his womanizer comment.
"It's not cocky if it's true." He rebutted all matter of factly.
"It can be true and you still be cocky. Cocky isn't mutually exclusive with falsity."
"You're a smartass, aren't you?" He shot another signature smirk my way.
"Better to be a smartass, than a dumbass." I shot him a glare, hoping he got the message.
"Damn girl. You cut deep with your words. You know, no one ever gets away with talking to me like that. What am I going to do with you?" He put his finger to his chin and imitated a deep thinker pondering life's great questions.
"You can't do anything to m…" He stopped me mid entrance and he slammed his hands against the wall trap me between them. Squeezed my eyes shut and I flinched.
He was so close.
Too close.