In the cold bedroom, Rilen stood with her arms crossed, staring out the window. Rain had been pouring all night, continuing until morning approached. Still wrapped in her sleepwear, she watched whatever lay beyond the glass—until the sound of footsteps shattered her thoughts.
"Can't you knock before coming in, Dad?"
Hearing the sharpness in Rilen's tone, Pra stopped himself from getting closer. Instead, he chose to sit at the edge of the bed, not far from where his daughter stood.
"Enough, sweetheart. Don't think about them anymore. You still have me—you can ask for anything. Look, Ningtyas belongs to you now."
Rilen turned around, her gaze sharp as it locked onto Pra. "Don't pretend you care, Dad! I just want that bodyguard. If he can be that devoted to Kala, he can do the same for me."
"I've already tried to find him, but he's nowhere to be found." Pra tried to remain patient, though anger was already boiling inside him.
"Why not use your international network? They could've fled the country." Rilen clenched her fists, her knuckles turning white.
"I already did. But there's no record of them leaving."
The sound of shattering glass filled the room. Pieces of a flower vase and water scattered across the floor. Rilen couldn't hold it in anymore—how long was she supposed to wait to get what she wanted? All her life, she had done nothing but wait. Waiting for the moment she could take everything Kala had. Even now, when that girl had nothing left, Rilen still couldn't take the one thing she truly wanted—the bodyguard.
"Dad, even if they're dead, I want their bodies brought here."
"Of course, sweetheart. I'll bring them to you. So calm down, alright? Don't get angry." Pra pulled Rilen into his embrace.
Rilen felt a gentle hand brushing against her waist, followed by a warm kiss on her neck.
Rilen wanted Kala's entire life. Yes—everything. If possible, she would rather be the daughter of Hanganto and Hanggini. There was no such thing as happiness or peace in being Rilen Mahatma. Everything had turned into a disaster.
If Rilen chose to stay sane, this wouldn't be the place for her. So she chose madness—to survive, to live normally. The family everyone called perfect hid something revolting beneath the surface. Too filthy to even speak of.
Rilen stepped into the bathroom. She pulled open a drawer filled with medication and syringes. Even to accept her madness, she still needed drugs. She took two capsules and forced them down her throat, swallowing until it burned.
Rilen knew that once she stepped into that cubical bathing space, something would happen that she couldn't face consciously. So losing part of her awareness was the only way out.
In the corner of the room, a small red light recorded everything silently. Rilen knew exactly who was behind it. This had been happening for ten years—since the first time she felt Pramudya's touch. Back then, little Rilen thought it was love. Now, it made no difference. Her young mind understood that it was something terribly wrong, something that slowly destroyed her mental state.
But what difference did it make?
Wasn't losing wealth and reputation just as unfortunate?
Sometimes she felt afraid—wanted to ask for help from anyone who could save her. But over time, she got used to it.
Rilen removed all her clothes, ignoring the blinking red light as if it were stripping her bare. She even deliberately faced the camera, letting whoever watched feel satisfied.
After all, Rilen was already completely shattered—there was nothing left to break.
Her dignity? It had long dissolved into nothingness the moment Pramudya violated her in the name of love. The only dignity she had left was for the outside world. As for Pramudya, she gave him everything.
Rilen sank into the bathtub, the scent of roses filling the air. The reddish water contrasted beautifully with her pale skin. Pramudya once said that Rilen was at her most beautiful when she soaked in water the color of roses like this.
That was how Rilen defined love—how she had grown accustomed to everything Pra gave her. Even though the last remnants of her sanity screamed that none of this was right.
But would doing the right thing make things better?
No.
She would lose everything—even the luxury she still had now.
Back then, when she first stepped into the Mahatma family, Rilen thought she would become a princess. Everything she asked for would be given gladly. She would live like a princess in a fairy tale, spoiled with love and wealth.
And that wasn't entirely wrong—because even now, she did have all of it.
The only thing she hadn't expected… was the price.
She had to pay dearly.
She had to offer her body to be consumed by the king of this palace. And in return, her status rose higher than the queen who belonged there.
To Rilen, it was worth it.
As long as everything she wanted could be hers.
Running away or refusing was useless—she had already been dragged into the ocean and drowned. So it was better to enjoy it… and learn how to swim, just to survive.
After finishing her bath, Rilen returned to the sofa in her room. Her slightly damp hair was left as it was. The bathrobe clung loosely to her body, exposing parts of her skin.
Her fingers scrolled through social media. Her eyes traced every photo and headline—until one post stopped her.
There, she saw a group of people she would never forget.
The very people who shaped her madness.
If anyone deserved to be blamed for the person she had become, it was them.
Back in elementary school, Rilen tried to make friends. She tried to be a sweet girl, someone everyone liked. But everything she did was crushed by those who wanted to act tough. They shattered the confidence she tried so hard to hold onto.
It wasn't just rejection—there were insults, violence, every single day.
They did it simply because Rilen didn't have what they had.
That was how humans were—once they found someone beneath them, arrogance took over. As if that person was nothing but worthless trash, when in truth, they weren't much different.
Since childhood, Rilen had no father. Her mother worked tirelessly just to survive. A life that was barely enough—or even lacking—and the absence of a father made others look down on her.
Rilen remembered everything.
The faces of those who threw wet dirt at her after school, staining the only clean white uniform she had into a muddy brown.
The rough stones they forced into her mouth, leaving her unable to even cry for help.
The bag her mother gave her, taken and ruined like it meant nothing.
She remembered. She remembered it all.
The pain was still there—even now. It lingered whenever she saw stones or tried to chew something. It never left.
Then her mother brought home a man she had to call 'Dad'—Pramudya.
A wealthy man who promised to give her anything, as long as she obeyed.
Her mother promised her a complete family, so she wouldn't feel lacking anymore.
And it was true.
For the sake of that "complete family," her mother ignored Rilen's fear when Pramudya first touched her.
Her mother said everything would fall apart if Rilen spoke about it.
That this was something she had to accept… if she wanted everything.
And her mother was right.
Since becoming part of Pramudya's family, no one dared to oppose her. Everyone bowed, even begged to be her friend.
But the moment she saw Kalaya—she burned with rage.
Kala, who received everything without paying any price.
Rilen wanted her life.
She wanted everything that made that girl smile.
Rilen tightened her grip on her phone, channeling the rage she had buried deep inside.
Lost in her memories, she didn't realize a hand had been gently stroking her exposed thigh. A soft kiss landed at the tip of her foot, snapping her back as her eyes shut.
"Rilen Mahatma, I truly adore you."
Rilen already knew what would happen next.
Her long legs were lifted gently, the weight above her pressing down. The air seemed to thin as the man above her gazed at her with longing.
Rilen had to admit—Pramudya was still incredibly handsome, even at his current age. Their age gap wasn't that large. If it weren't for what had happened in the past… perhaps she would have liked this kind of affection from him.
In fact, now…
Rilen liked it.
She had grown used to it.