Egrer and Illmond paced back and forth down the hallway near Miss Goodwitch's office. Behind the oak door, their official leader was left one-on-one with the Iron Lady, so there was serious cause for concern. Only Yort sat on the windowsill and stared outside, unable to stand watching the constant pacing in the hallway any longer.
"She's been keeping Madge in there for twenty minutes already," Illmond muttered. "Combat training is starting soon. Goodwitch wouldn't be late to her own class, would she?"
Glynda Goodwitch had always been known for her brevity and could easily condense even the broadest thought into just a couple of phrases. What could she possibly be discussing in there for twenty whole minutes? Especially with Magenta, who would absolutely never talk back to her again?
"Means they're about to come out," Yort shrugged. "Stop working yourself up, your stomping around won't make it any easier for her or you. It's annoying."
"I'm worried. But you obviously don't give a shit."
"Shut your trap, pervert! Just 'cause I'm not throwing a tantrum and walking in circles doesn't mean I don't give a fuck."
Suddenly, the lock clicked, and Miss Goodwitch stepped out of the office. Sweeping a stern gaze over them and ushering Magenta out, she locked the door behind her.
"If you don't wish to be late for my class, head to the arena right now. And don't forget that your detentions are not yet over. After classes, Mr. Chuckler will be waiting for you by the academy's west wing," she threw over her shoulder.
When her sweat-inducing aura had retreated far enough, the pack surrounded poor Magenta from all sides and bombarded her with questions.
"What did she do to you?" Illmond asked.
"How are you holding up?" Egrer inquired.
"Did she whip you with her riding crop?" Illmond chimed in more insistently, earning himself two judgmental glares. "I'm just asking... it totally could have happened..."
"Only in your fucked-up head, pervert." Yort smacked the back of his head. "Goodwitch is a teacher, not a BDSM dominatrix."
Magenta didn't react to them at all and just obediently followed Egrer toward the arena. She sniffled from time to time, her trembling lips vainly trying to say something, but she couldn't manage to pull herself together. All the pack could do for her right now was simply be there.
It was stupid to be angry at Goodwitch for nearly bringing their butterfly to tears, since this was a punishment for her recklessness. She wouldn't become a good leader if she didn't change and become more responsible. She wouldn't become someone you could rely on if she didn't learn this lesson. The Iron Lady probably thought something along those lines. Goodwitch applied just enough pressure to show the full gravity of the situation without crossing the line. Well, barely not crossing it.
Anyone else would have figured out a long time ago that someone else should be the leader of their team; it was an obvious truth that didn't take a genius to grasp. Even Magenta, who found herself on the verge of her melancholic state, was starting to realize it.
And that realization caused her pain. Right now, she looked even more helpless than yesterday, but just like back then, Egrer wouldn't dare take advantage of her depressed state.
They walked in silence at a brisk pace and almost caught up with Miss Goodwitch just as she crossed the threshold of her classroom. The bell rang that very second, making Team Majesty, walking right behind her, technically two seconds late, but the teacher mercifully forgave them. After all, she was the reason for their delay in the first place.
"The first to step into the arena will be Egrer Peleni and Yang Xiao Long," the professor said before even reaching her desk. Or maybe she didn't forgive them...
"She wants me dead," Egrer whispered, before trudging toward the arena. He hadn't even had time to reach his seat, so he handed his bag of textbooks to Illmond, not wanting to delay for even a second.
"Why are you so pale?" Yang asked, cracking her knuckles. She might have been showing concern now, but everyone knew that once Goodwitch gave the signal, there'd be no mercy. Yang Xiao Long took only two things seriously: fights and her sister's safety.
"Yeah... I... ate something bad," he replied weakly, unfolding Needle-Pierce. Even without Yort's predictions, it was clear his chances were slim.
"From now on, the matches will last until someone drops into the red zone," Miss Goodwitch explained. Egrer let out a soundless groan; he had just been hoping to stall for time. "There are no time limits, but if you deal with your opponent quickly, you will earn extra points. Otherwise, the rules remain the same. Do you all understand me?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Ready? Begin!"
That was exactly what Yang had been waiting for. Using her signature move, she immediately fired behind her back and closed the distance to Egrer. He dropped, letting her rushing body pass over him, then rolled, dodging a kick. He bolted for the opposite end of the ring.
"Get back here!" Yang didn't waste her energy chasing him on foot; instead, she fired behind her back again.
Egrer didn't repeat his previous trick of dropping down; he leaped to the side. Unfortunately, she had him cornered right at the edge of the arena, leaving him no choice but to face the problem head-on. The problem had a very angry face, which knocked any thought of actually fighting right out of Egrer, so he instantly ducked and slid between her legs.
"Fight, coward!" Egrer dodged a punch, then used her arm as a springboard to vault right over his opponent's head. He pushed off, and a second later he was behind her, hauling ass as far away as possible. "Stop running!"
He had to roll to let two shotgun blasts fly over him, then leap to the side. A crater gaped in the spot where he had been a second ago, with a Yang as pissed off as a Grimm standing in it.
Egrer felt sick to his stomach; he nimbly hopped to his feet and booked it again. The fight had been going on for several minutes already, and not a single hit had been landed. Yang couldn't hit the squirmy target, and Egrer was too busy maintaining that squirmness to do anything else. But he didn't even hope for victory; all he wanted was not to get beaten to a pulp.
"Miss Goodwitch!" he yelled, rolling across the floor again. "Can I surrender?"
"Pussy!" Yort shouted from his seat. "Fight like a man, the honor of our team is at stake, you scum!"
"This match will last exactly until one of you loses," the teacher explained. "You must agree, Mr. Peleni, that in a battle of attrition, Miss Xiao Long has the obvious advantage. You need to act."
"You're underestimating my running skills! This could last until the bell!" Egrer replied, ducking under a fist.
"Shut your trap and fight!" Yang's eyes turned red, and her hair flared up like fire. She lost her temper, and her strikes became much stronger and faster, but more linear.
Flips, somersaults, backsteps, jumps—Egrer was dodging for his life like never before and could already feel himself running out of gas. Never in his entire life had he exerted himself like this. Usually, he managed to outrun an enemy long before they could wear him down this much, but he couldn't just leave the arena. Goodwitch wanted a fight, which meant that even if he tried to bail from Beacon, she would just catch him in her Semblance and put him up against Pyrrha as punishment. Good luck running away from her.
Since that was the case, he had to get tricky and break a couple of unspoken dueling rules. He probably wouldn't get a pat on the head for it, but there was no other way to survive until the bell.
With a swift motion, Egrer slipped off his jacket and threw it at Yang. She swatted it away with a growl, but lost sight of her opponent. She spun around, but there was no one behind her. Twirling in place, she bewilderingly scanned the cracks and craters, but no one could have hid in them.
"Where are you!? Come out!" Chuckles rippled from the stands, which only pissed her off more.
Egrer moved in sync with Yang's movements, staying behind her the whole time. No matter how much she scoured the battlefield, she wouldn't be able to find him. The teacher's menacing glare made him smile goofily and hunch over slightly, as if expecting a blow. And a blow did follow, but from a direction he hadn't expected.
"Idiot, he's walking right behind you!"
"Weiss!" Egrer protested, dodging a spinning kick. "What kind of setup is this!? Whose side are you even on!?"
"On my team's side." Egrer suddenly remembered that, well, yeah—she was a member of Team RWBY. Ruby remembered that too, and didn't hesitate to run across half the classroom to hug Weiss, who had sat far away from them. Apparently, she now had hope that all was not lost.
"That's still not fair! Spectators aren't supposed to interfere in a duel, Miss Goodwitch!"
"I think I can turn a blind eye to this infraction." The teacher shrugged, which outraged Egrer even more. But he didn't get to say a word.
"Shut your trap and fight!" Yang fired from her gauntlets several times, trying to catch Egrer mid-dodge, but he didn't get a scratch. Her hair flared up again. "You piss me off so much!"
He could smell the heat, and Egrer decided to do the impossible. He held his Needle-Pierce like a spear and charged at Yang with a battle cry. She grinned in satisfaction and tried to catch him on the approach, but on the run, he drove Needle-Pierce into the floor and pole-vaulted right over his opponent. The game of tag resumed and lasted for several more minutes until Miss Goodwitch's patience finally snapped.
"Stop!" she shouted with unrestrained anger. "I admit I underestimated you, Mr. Peleni, but I demand that you stop running away and finally start the duel. Enough of this childishness!"
"I'm sorry, but no, ma'am."
"Explain yourself." The teacher's gaze grew menacing, and Egrer hastened to somehow justify his point of view with something other than I'm terrified to fight her.
"Isn't it wise to avoid a battle with a superior opponent?" A judgmental hubbub rippled through the hall; such an approach was alien to the majority here. Yort was especially loud. "The headmaster once told me that as long as you're alive, the war isn't lost."
Even though the source of this wisdom was questionable, Goodwitch now looked at Egrer differently. Tempering her fury, she decided to share her own experience with him.
"Retreat isn't always the best idea. You are Huntsmen, the last hope." She swept her gaze over every student, addressing them all at once. "And retreating means you leave people to die. In most cases, you will be arriving right into the thick of battle, where every second of delay costs someone's life. Therefore, you need to eradicate this thought that you can run away forever, Mr. Peleni. Someday your back will be against the wall, and you'll have no choice but to fight to the bitter end, and you had better be prepared for it. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, ma'am," Egrer replied submissively.
"Excellent. I will not give you a failing grade, but next time I expect you to fight honorably. You may return to your seats."
Egrer exhaled and picked up his jacket from the floor. After dusting off the stone grit and dirt, he nevertheless didn't put it on. His muscles were burning from the exertion and needed a bit of time to cool down.
"Next time you won't escape me," Yang promised with grim determination as she moved back to her team.
Egrer gulped and hurried to hide in the ranks of his pack. Yort looked at him disapprovingly, Illmond was spitting at the ceiling out of boredom, and Magenta lowered the banner bearing their team's name. Throughout the entire duel—if you could call it that—she hadn't stopped cheering on her alpha, just as Ruby had cheered on her sister.
"You fought well," Magenta said with a weak smile. It seemed she had somewhat recovered from Miss Goodwitch's reprimand, but was still lost somewhere in her own thoughts.
"Fought? He's a pussy," Yort scoffed, making Egrer roll his eyes.
"Don't act like you don't know I don't stand a chance against Yang. Only a couple of people in our year can go toe-to-toe with her; she's practically at the top of the rankings."
"Is that an excuse to run around the arena with your pants shat? What a disgrace, I'm ashamed to sit next to you."
"Oh, shut the fuck up."
"Hey, no swearing!" Magenta grabbed both of them by the ears and pulled upward. "I order you to make up right now!"
"Ow, ow, ow! Sorry, Yort, let's be friends!"
Yort, grimacing in pain, silently extended his hand, which Egrer immediately shook. Magenta let them go, but promised that if they started arguing again, she would ban one from the TV and put the other on a diet. She stamped her foot and put her hands on her hips, as if diligently imitating someone.
Naturally, no one took her threats seriously, but the resolve with which their official leader delivered them was slightly scary and unnerving. Such strictness was alien to her, as was a love of order. Whatever Goodwitch had said to her in her office, Magenta had clearly taken it too much to heart.
But she'd most likely forget about all this in an hour and return to her normal self. That's how it had always been, and how it would always be. It was impossible to influence this crazy—in a good way—girl, otherwise Egrer would have turned her into a fully functioning member of society a long time ago.
Meanwhile, Miss Goodwitch summoned Jaune and Cardin to the ring.
"She really enjoys watching us suffer, huh," Egrer snorted in displeasure. "She almost never sets up fights between equal opponents. What kind of mockery is this? Yort, what are Jaune's chances?"
"I'm so fucking sick of you asking the exact same thing every class. You think something's gonna drastically change?" For a second, the face of the Vacuan oracle stretched in surprise. "Four percent for a win, three-tenths more than last time."
"At this rate, in a couple of months he'll be able to fight Cardin on equal footing."
"Nah. It's always easy at first, but the further you train, the more time you spend just maintaining what you've already built." Yort spread his arms wide and bent them, showing off his biceps. With this maneuver, he smacked Egrer and Magenta, who were sitting beside him, right on their noses. "I'm not getting any stronger than I am now unless I totally kill myself trying. I already spend half the day in the gym as it is."
"Jaune doesn't need muscles, he needs to learn how to use a sword," Illmond remarked, still spitting at the ceiling.
"Makes no difference. So you learn how to swing a piece of iron, so what, now you don't gotta stay in shape? Techniques get forgotten, strikes get less precise, and so on. That's why I fight with my fists." He started showing off his biceps again, but Egrer grabbed his rising arm and forced it down. Magenta wasn't as proactive and got smacked in the face a second time. "You just gotta get jacked like a bison, and then you can bend everyone over."
"Which is exactly why Ill folds you into a pretzel," the alpha nodded sarcastically. "Just look at his muscles. You can tell right away—he's a beast, bench presses three hundred kilos easy."
"Hey," their scrawny wannabe artist weakly protested.
Yort grumbled something in displeasure and shut up, looking down at the duel. Jaune's Aura had almost dropped into the red zone, and after taking a massive mace blow to the shield, he finally lost.
"The match is over. Mr. Arc, I see no progress in your... skills." Goodwitch clearly wanted to say something else. "It has been a month since our first session; are you trying to tell me that you've ignored my recommendations this entire time? If you've even touched your weapon outside of class, that is."
"I train every day," Jaune made a weak excuse.
"As practice has shown, the effectiveness of your training is practically zero. Come to my office after class." Having said her piece, Miss Goodwitch acted as if Jaune ceased to exist. "Mr. Winchester, your skills have improved, but you still rely too heavily on your armor. I would advise you to dodge more often."
"Yes, ma'am," the top bully of the first year nodded. "My Aura hasn't lost even a percent; maybe you could let me fight someone stronger?"
"Hmm," the teacher pondered, but she couldn't find any arguments against it, since Cardin hadn't just retained all his Aura, but hadn't even broken a sweat. "Very well. Yort Alnen will be your opponent."
"Congratulations." Egrer patted their giant on the shoulder. "You finally get to kick his ass. Just out of curiosity, how much~?"
"Seventy-two. Finally gonna show this bug what happens when you disrespect me! I'll pay him back for Madge, too." Yort smiled in anticipation and stepped into the arena, flexing his fists. Cardin had pissed him off for a long time, right from their very first meeting. All that arrogant, boorish behavior, the complete lack of restraint, and the belittling of the weak. Especially the belittling of the weak. Because by doing so, in Yort's eyes, he reduced himself down to their level.
Miss Goodwitch couldn't not know that she was pitting two completely mismatched opponents in terms of strength against each other, but she probably just wanted to punish Cardin for his arrogance and general level of scumbaggery.
Magenta pulled out her banner again and hoisted it high up. Egrer grabbed a hold too, and now they were swaying left and right together, chanting ditties about how awesome their team was. Illmond, looking bored and apathetic, just waved a tiny flag.
Yort started the duel straight with his trump cards; he intended to destroy the enemy in record time. He pulled his arms behind his back and activated his brass knuckles. Two powerful jets of air gave him a boost, and he flew boots-first right into Cardin's chest. Cardin wasn't expecting such a maneuver and flew into the wall, severely denting it. On the monitor, his Aura meter instantly dropped into the yellow zone.
"Hey, that's my move!" Yang indignantly exclaimed, sitting a couple of rows down.
"Be proud," Egrer answered her. "He considers very few people strong enough to steal moves from."
"A pathetic imitation!" She didn't even hear him, continuing to yell toward the ring. "Wait till we throw down, I'll show you the unmatched original!"
Why was she so fired up? Egrer saw nothing wrong with stealing good tricks, especially since Yort and Yang's fighting styles were quite similar—both were unstoppable, impenetrable berserkers.
"The match is over!"
"Already?!" Egrer snapped out of his thoughts and looked at the arena. Cardin was sprawled on the floor surrounded by cracks and craters, and his mace was rolling nearby. "Damn it, I missed everything! Ill, how'd he drop him so fast?"
"He's just stronger. In that regard, skill has a limit, after which it isn't really capable of helping much," he answered tersely, watching the arena with a bored look.
"I can see great progress, Mr. Alnen, but you are still far from an 'excellent' mark." Who would have doubted that Miss Goodwitch would actually praise someone? This was a five-second victory, yet for their teacher's high standards, even Pyrrha was miles away. "Your pressure allowed you to force the fight on your terms, but you completely forgot about defense. Had Mr. Winchester not relied solely on the durability of his armor, he would have easily capitalized on that. But, evidently, he completely ignores my recommendations."
Cardin shrank under her angry glare.
"I wish to remind everyone present: my advice is the key to your survival. Not all the techniques practiced in this hall will help you fight the Grimm, but it is precisely the act of fighting other gifted individuals that trains your reflexes, resourcefulness, and forces you to adapt to the most varied circumstances. And in the future, when we move on to team battles, this will assist you in honing your cooperative maneuvers."
And also, as Egrer guessed, it helped a few dozen teenagers blow off steam, since they just needed any excuse to swing their weapons around. If that energy wasn't given an outlet, it would inevitably lead to a massive brawl sooner or later.
"And now, Nora Valkyrie and Sky Lark will step into the arena."
Oh, that guy was out of luck. But it served him right; that'll teach him to hang around Cardin.
***
In the cafeteria, Magenta led the pack straight to JNPR's table. After that hangout at the cat cafe, their teams had grown closer and started eating together, and since the girls from RWBY were sitting right nearby, they started interacting with them a bit too. Except that Illmond and Yort kept to themselves; the former wasn't particularly interested in socializing with people outside his team, and the latter simply needed more time to build trust with someone. Plus, not everyone here met his criteria for strength, and the Vacuan mobster on the run didn't associate with weaklings.
The teams sat mixed together in twos or threes, each discussing their own things. Ren and Egrer, for instance, were complaining to each other about life.
These two miserable souls were either trying to out-argue each other over whose female friend was crazier, or simply venting their frustrations. Ultimately, they came to the conclusion that Magenta was much more terrifying than Nora when it came to inventing all sorts of madness, but it was Nora's hyperactivity that broke Ren's everyday life. Not that he was against it after so many years of living together; on the contrary, he could no longer see his future without this redhead troublemaker, having grown so attached to her.
That was an alarming wake-up call, and Egrer grew scared that he, too, might turn into such an apathetic masochist.
Sitting next to them, Jaune swayed slowly, staring at his bowl of soup with a blank gaze. He still hadn't recovered from Miss Goodwitch's reprimand and felt even more worthless than usual.
Across from them, Nora was quietly discussing something with Magenta. And since the concepts of "Nora" and "quiet" were incompatible, it forced one to expect some insane stunt from them. At first, they too had been sharing their crazy antics with each other, trying to figure out who was cooler, but now they were definitely plotting something.
To their right, Yang was interrogating Yort about her stolen move, to which he lazily brushed her off, still not understanding what the big deal was.
To their left, one social awkwardness was trying to talk to another, but all of Ruby's attempts to get to know Illmond shattered against a wall of alienation and Yang, who noticed this and strictly forbade her sister from interacting with that perverted shut-in. She was clearly afraid that that tying-up incident might repeat itself, but this time with innocent Ruby...
The rest were just eating, occasionally throwing a couple of phrases into the general din of their tables.
In a moment of the deepest male solidarity, when Ren and Egrer were lamenting "Oh, these brightly-haired girls!", a muffled cry rippled through the hall.
"Let go, please!" Cardin stood right in the center of the cafeteria and, to the laughter of his cronies, yanked a Faunus girl by her rabbit ear.
"What an ugly freak," one of them said, laughing.
"This asshole again," Yang muttered. "Does he just want to take out his frustration from his loss on someone?"
Egrer swallowed half an apple and placed his mug of compote on the table next to five others. He really didn't like racists. Really didn't. They had made his ascent to the musical summit incredibly difficult, and not just for him, and not just in music.
The cheerful atmosphere throughout the cafeteria seemed to be blown away by a cold wind. Some tried hard to pretend they saw and heard nothing, others quietly lamented the proliferation of bullies, and there were even those who pointed fingers at the bunny girl and snickered, clearly supporting Cardin.
These were other bullies that the union was supposed to fight. The secretary of the general secretary addressed the general secretary with absolute seriousness:
"I think it's time for the union to intervene."
"You think so?" Weiss assessed the situation, sweeping her gaze across the hall.
"Yeah, using my head for once," he chuckled. "We were gonna do some socially useful work anyway. This is our chance."
Weiss was clearly deep in thought, tapping her finger on the table. Egrer and Nora waited patiently for her decision. The rest were in no hurry to return to their previous conversation either, watching Weiss's mental gymnastics purely out of curiosity.
"A Schnee being a Schnee," Blake suddenly said with a sigh.
"Excuse me?! Just because I'm a Schnee doesn't mean I'm a racist and support this behavior!"
"I didn't say that." Weiss faltered, but quickly found an answer.
"But you implied it."
"Maybe." Blake didn't try to deny it.
"Comrade general secretary," Egrer snapped his fingers, drawing her attention. Suddenly, his nose tickled. "Achoo! Ahem, our business is urgent, we need to decide quickly. I doubt Cardin's going to torment her for eternity; he needs to eat too."
"I'm thinking," she snapped back.
"What's there to think about? We announced to all of Beacon that we'd fight bullying. And here we have blatant racism to boot, we'll earn way more points in the eyes of the public. And finally, the victim will be indebted to us and we can force her to join the union."
"You two are made for each other," Blake snarked. Ruby and Pyrrha nodded in agreement; such mercenary calculation was alien to them as well.
"Hey, I want to help from the bottom of my heart, just like I helped Jaune back then." That reminder actually cooled the degree of dissatisfaction aimed his way a bit. "I'm just speaking to Weiss in her own language."
"What?! Okay, I get Blake, but am I just a heartless dealer to you too?"
"No, of course not. You just think too much with your head and not enough with your heart, those are different things. That's why I laid out all the possible benefits from our intervention; it's logical, right?" Weiss's eye twitched, but it seemed that answer satisfied her.
"Let's break his legs!" Nora was already losing patience and started banging her fist on the table. The plates and glasses on it rattled.
"Fine, let's go." Weiss finally ordered, and the union stood up in its entirety, ready for heroic deeds.
"Wait," Egrer suddenly caught himself. "Won't we be breaking the cafeteria rules?"
The union sat back down.
"We need to think," Weiss said, adopting a thoughtful look.
"Right, think really hard about it," Egrer agreed, rubbing his chin.
"Very, very, very hard," Nora agreed.
"You've got to be kidding me." Blake watched all this with wide eyes. "Though why am I even surprised..."
"We already got burned once," the secretary of the general secretary started making excuses, his eyes suddenly stinging. Did someone spill pepper again? "Achoo! If you want to help her so bad, then go help her; why are you bugging us? Nora, quick, run to the poster and snap a pic of the rules."
"Too late," Blake said.
"What?" Weiss and Egrer said simultaneously, looking toward the cackling Cardin. "Damn it!"
The rabbit girl, almost crying, was already leaving. She clutched her hurting ear and moved her feet quickly to get away from the cafeteria as fast as possible. The cronies loudly discussed how awesomely Cardin had shown the animal its place.
"Maybe we should go up to him anyway and chew him out for bad behavior?"
"The effect won't be the same after the fact," Weiss noted. "And as long as I hold the post of the union's general secretary, we will not be starting fights in the cafeteria. That rule definitely exists!"
"Fine," he sighed heavily, "but next time we'll absolutely go over and help. On time."
"Absolutely," Weiss promised, then quickly added. "If it doesn't conflict with the rules."
Slow clapping was heard. The union turned their heads to Blake in displeasure.
"Bravo, simply bravo. An amazing allusion to the state. 'We'll help all the Faunus, but next time'—that's pretty much what everyone says. Ever thought about going into politics? They'd welcome snakes like you with open arms there."
"Well, excuse us!" Weiss shouted, losing her patience. "We at least planned to help, while you just sat there and made snide remarks! Why didn't you help yourself, what's your excuse?"
"Girls, let's not fight." Ruby, exercising her rights as leader, decided to intervene in their argument, but they paid no attention to her.
"Intervening would have only made it worse! They would have caught her later, and who knows what they would've done to her then. If she can't stand up for herself, no one else is going to protect her." Yort snorted at this and muttered, "At least someone here gets it."
"So the thought of going over to help didn't even cross your mind, yet for some reason you belittle me in every way possible!"
"And what were you guys doing the whole time?! What, you just want to suck up to the rich girl? Why are you trying to force your way into being her friend?" Blake practically hissed towards the end, realizing she was in the minority and no one was rushing to support her stance.
Friends? He knew Weiss fairly well, of course, and they spent a lot of time together, but Egrer couldn't imagine them casually discussing homework, for instance. The only thing keeping them together were their shared interests. And that wasn't tastes in food or music, but political interests. They had a single goal, and that was the only reason they communicated; interaction outside the Order or the union was minimal. Honestly, Egrer doubted they would talk at all once they achieved their goals.
As for sucking up, Blake missed the mark completely there too. How fortunate that Weiss understood all this as well and wasn't planning on having a heart-to-heart with Egrer in the future about the sincerity of their weird, so to speak, friendship. That would be awkward.
"In any case, I don't have time to engage in these pointless arguments with you," the general secretary said with dignity, rising from the table. "I still have things to do. Are you with me?"
"Class struggle is class struggle, but lunch is on schedule," Egrer declined, pointing to his second tray of food, which he had gathered again with absolutely no control over his hands. "Can't let good food go to waste. I'll stuff it into myself somehow..."
"I'll wait until Renny finishes eating." Nora also declined. And it wasn't just an excuse; she actually sat there and watched as Ren unhurriedly moved his jaws. He didn't care in the slightest.
That wasn't the answer Weiss was expecting, but she didn't argue and simply left.
Over time, their tables slowly returned to the measured din interrupted by Cardin. Everyone split into little groups again, each discussing their own things.
"Eg, how do you handle her?" Ruby asked, helplessly laying her head on the table.
"Like I said, I have a lot of experience dealing with difficult people. Just look at my team."
"Oh, fuck off." Yort flipped him the bird, while Illmond hid from the attention by pulling his hood up and sliding further away. Only Magenta was acting normally normal right now, but everyone here knew that she was the one who egged Nora on to blow up the lake to catch fish.
"See? I've barely seen normal interaction my whole life, so I won't get bothered by a little thing like contempt, disrespect, or even open hatred. And Weiss isn't really that much of a grump on her own. Believe me, I've seen way worse people."
"And I was hoping to learn some spell of Eternal Friendship, I could really use it," Ruby mumbled, not peeling her face off the table.
"Oh, you have no idea how much I could use that too."
"You seem to be handling things pretty well yourself."
"It might look like Weiss and I are friends from the outside, but that's not true at all. I just have enough nerve to tolerate her presence, and she simply has no one else to talk to. Well, there's Nora too, of course, but we're not going to count her seriously, right?" Egrer chuckled. "You know, sometimes I feel like Weiss intentionally keeps everyone at arm's length. A person can't just not even try to make friends with someone."
Ruby's eyes lit up, as if she had found a kindred spirit.
"I agree. Sometimes she barely pays attention to us, and sometimes she suddenly helps with homework, then she's snarky one minute, apologizing the next. I'm swinging like a pendulum; one day I'm glad she cares about us, and the next I want to smother her with a pillow in her sleep."
"I noticed she acts weird like that too. Though, I thought she didn't hold back with you and you were constantly at war with each other..."
So Weiss herself perfectly understands that ignoring her team isn't the best idea, and forces herself to interact with them through sheer willpower... That was actually a big surprise, since she's very stubborn. If Weiss gets it into her head that she shouldn't talk to someone, that person is essentially already dead to her.
"I'd rather we were at war than all this. Weiss... you know, sometimes I feel like I'm on the right track and we'll be able to become friends with her, but then she yells at me and I'm back in the dumps. Can you give me some advice on how to get close to her?"
"Delegate a couple of your responsibilities to her, Weiss is just bored, so she acts out. She backed off you guys after forming the union, right?" At the very least, she had almost certainly stopped spinning conspiracies in the Order of the Backstabbers. As much as it's even possible to spin a conspiracy in a three-member organization...
"Oh, right," Yang suddenly gasped. "Snow White really hasn't been throwing as much of a fit lately."
"But what do I delegate to her? I don't even know what I am supposed to be doing as leader!" Ruby fell into despair.
Egrer wondered too, what had he delegated to Weiss himself? Actually, he had dumped all the duties of the Supreme Chairman of the Order on her, and not so much out of consideration for "how do I keep this nuisance busy?" but rather "you will do whatever I say because I'm the boss here. Remember that." It goes without saying that she reciprocated in kind at union meetings...
Here Magenta took an interest in the conversation.
"Miss Goodwitch told me that a worthy leaderess should take responsibility for the team and not look for excuses."
"So I need to make it so that Weiss takes the heat for us?" Ruby pondered and turned to Egrer. "Will she really be happy about that?"
"Don't listen to her," he shook his head. "If there's no work, make it up. Let her, I don't know, wake you up in the mornings. The main thing is to describe it as a very important task and say that only she can handle it thanks to her special skills and mindset. It's all about the right presentation; you can spin any grunt work as if it's an elite activity."
"And you still say you're not a manipulator," Yort snorted, standing up from the table. "Can't sit next to your kind. I'm hitting the gym."
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with this specific advice!" Egrer called after him. "I'm not a manipulator, right?"
"Weeeell..." Yang wiggled her palm side to side, unable to find the right word. "Your advice really does reek of something like that. Not to say it's bad, I do that to Ruby all the time myself." Her sister mumbled something unintelligible into the table.
"Not just a little," countered a frowning Blake. She had been giving Egrer sideways glances ever since the union's first campaign, and now there was a definite hostility in her eyes. Apparently, her attitude toward Weiss had spilled over onto him as well.
"What are you talking about!" Magenta slammed her hand loudly on the table. "There's no one more honest than Eg in the world! He always speaks his mind and never hides anything."
Egrer felt a little ashamed that she thought so highly of him. It wasn't even half true, not even a quarter true. If not for his stupid facial muscles, he would've become the most notorious liar in the world, even worse than his dad. As it stood, he simply had no choice.
"He might be honest, but only because his smile will give him away anyway," Blake parried to the surprised looks of the others. "Haven't you noticed? When he lies, he smiles unnaturally."
"Hey, I also smile like that when I'm embarrassed or when something crazy happens," Egrer started to justify himself. His nose tickled again and he let out a muffled sneeze into his elbow.
"It's not hard at all to tell them apart."
"And anyway, we're discussing Weiss right now, not me. I'm giving your leader advice here, by the way, and you're just being a pain again. I don't know what Weiss did to you, but I have nothing to do with it." It seemed this remark calmed Blake down. Or maybe she quieted down due to the absence of the main irritant nearby. "Anyway, Ruby, I have no idea how to help you. But an ancient Mistrali general used to say, 'know your enemy'."
"More precisely," Ren noted, raising his spoon instructively, "'know the enemy and know yourself; in a hundred battles you will never be in peril'."
Nora breathed out in amazement, whispering an ode in praise of his intellect, and then went back to silently watching Ren slowly eat his soup. Ruby, meanwhile, was plunging deeper and deeper into the pool of despair; that quote had clearly affected her the wrong way. She grabbed her head and nearly started tearing her hair out.
"But I don't want Weiss to be my enemy! I want to be friends with her!"
"You shouldn't take everything so literally," said Pyrrha, whose kind heart bled at the sight of her sad little face. She resolved to help Ruby no matter what. "But here it's like in a battle, you are two opposing sides: you want to sway Weiss towards friendship, and she's resisting."
"And what do you suggest?" The champion scratched her cheek in embarrassment, not knowing what to say. "Just give me any advice, I don't even care anymore. Any idea will do."
"Well, the most effective way to make an opponent submit is a submission hold." Ruby buried her nose in the table again and groaned loudly in hopelessness. "Sorry, I know that sounded stupid, but nothing else comes to mind. Except maybe the saying 'all's fair in love and war'."
Looks like today is ancient wisdom day, Egrer thought.
Everyone wanted to help the poor girl, so they bombarded her with all sorts of suggestions and advice. Nora completely forgot about the goals of the Order of the Backstabbers and suggested catching Weiss, tying her to a chair, and not letting her go until she agreed to be friends with Ruby. Magenta supported the idea, after which the two crazy girls scooted away slightly and started whispering to each other again. Egrer made a mental note to keep an eye on them.
Ren and Pyrrha were the only beacons of reason, offering perfectly adequate thoughts for consideration. But their implementation was too difficult.
Only three people didn't participate in the discussion: Yang had already done everything she could think of on her own, Blake herself was one of the problems causing Weiss not to get along with their team very well, and Illmond just sat quietly on the edge of the bench. If he hadn't been so afraid to walk around Beacon alone, he would have left for his room a long time ago.
Oh, and Egrer was quietly staying silent, thoroughly occupied with the food from his second tray. He had already helped too much anyway.
"Alright," Ruby summarized, "so, to start off, I need to get to know Weiss better, but she won't even let me get close to her."
Everyone looked at the guy who loved to brag at every opportunity about how great he was at dealing with difficult people. Egrer was already getting slightly annoyed that every time Weiss was brought up, he received these looks.
"Since when did I become a professor of Weiss-ology? And anyway! It's not very polite to whisper about someone behind their back, have some decency."
"Eg, buddy." Yang placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed with such force it almost cracked. Nevertheless, she smiled amicably. Way too amicably. "It'll only be better for Snow White if she gets more friends. She must be so lonely..."
"I'm not arguing that, but..." Egrer tried to object, but the grip tightened even more, "...but I'll help with everything in my power!"
"Then tell me everything!" Ruby pleaded. "Absolutely everything you know about Weiss!"
And Egrer began to talk. He told them about her favorite color, which he remembered by chance, explained the intricacies of her thinking that he himself, to be honest, didn't really understand, mentioned her dislike for singing, and recounted how she handed out tasks to them in the union.
He didn't forget to mention their first meeting by the lockers, and their second fateful encounter near Port's classroom, though he kept quiet about the birth of the Order of the Backstabbers. To spill that secret, he'd need a threat far more terrifying than Yang's bone-crushing grip.
They learned that Weiss didn't like being bothered over trifles and that she primarily respected people's ability to shut up at the right time. Ruby did not possess this important quality, which made her visibly gloomier. Then Egrer, spurred by her sister's angry glare, hastened to add that Weiss also respected hard work and diligence, and that's where she actually had a chance.
Ruby carefully wrote down his rambling speech in a notebook, sparks of hope flashing in her eyes. Facts surfaced from Egrer's memory one by one, but her team already knew most of what was said; they did live in the same room with Weiss, after all.
By the end of his confession, Egrer felt like a traitor, and while the others were actively coming up with new advice for Ruby, he just stared into his glass of cocoa. His throat was parched from the endless talking, but he couldn't force anything down his mouth to wet it.
It really will be better for Weiss this way, he told himself, trying to find an excuse and shed a bit of the guilt. I didn't tell them anything super confidential, right? I don't think so, which means everything's fine.
"Eg?" Ruby called out quietly. "Could you tell us something else..."
Egrer doomed-ly slumped his shoulders.
This torture continued for a long time.