After all, performing live again had been their long-cherished wish. There was no way they wouldn't feel happy about its success this time.
Crychic—an amateur band that had already disbanded once and couldn't even gather enough members for the longest time—had struggled step by step to reach where they were now.
And Matsueda Azusa wasn't wrong. If Rikki hadn't brought in someone as skilled as Hachiman Karin, and if she didn't have connections at RING… then Matsueda alone would never have made it onto that stage. He probably wouldn't have even known how to get on the performance list in the first place.
It wasn't an exaggeration to say—
Rikki was Crychic's greatest contributor.
Rikki… did you save Crychic? You're really kind.
"Ahem…"
Shiina Rikki coughed awkwardly, turning her head away.
"Anyway… since Karin isn't here today, we probably won't get much proper practice done. I'm still working on arranging your new song, so it'll take some time before I can give you the finished version…"
"That's fine," Matsueda waved it off casually. "We've got time."
Rikki let out a small sigh of relief.
"Yeah… that's true. In that case, we don't really have anything planned today. Should we just do basic practice?"
"Wait—I've got an idea."
Matsueda suddenly stood up, slapping his forehead.
"Let's go busking."
"…Busking?!"
Rikki blinked in surprise. She didn't reject the idea, but she hesitated.
"Just the two of us? I mean… we can, but what about the drums? It's not exactly easy to carry outside. Should I call someone to help?"
"No need!"
Matsueda grinned.
"What I mean is—Rikki, you'll sing too."
"…Me?"
She pointed at herself, completely caught off guard.
"But I've never sung before."
"I hadn't either."
Matsueda casually slung his guitar over his shoulder and grabbed her wrist, pulling her along.
"They said my singing was all emotion and no technique, and I still got on stage. What are you afraid of? You'll definitely be better than me."
Rikki was dragged along, passing familiar staff members as they left RING.
She could've resisted.
She should've said she could walk on her own.
But for some reason—
She didn't.
"O-Okay… fine!"
She hurried to keep up.
"But what are we even going to sing? One song isn't enough for a street performance."
"Relax," Matsueda said, glancing back with a grin.
"We can do covers."
"And…"
"I've got a song I never showed anyone before."
"I'll sing it for you."
"…Eh?!"
Rikki's eyes widened.
"You never mentioned that. What kind of song is it?"
"It's experimental."
He smiled.
"It's called… 'Shinunoga Ii Wa.'"
19. I'd Rather Die
Sunlight filtered through the trees, scattering across the busy street.
People passed by in a steady stream.
Matsueda opened his guitar case and took out his instrument.
Rikki stood beside him, one hand on her hip, glancing around nervously.
"Is this really going to work?"
"We don't even have a mic, an amp, or anything. And… did you even get permission? You're supposed to register for street performances, right?"
"Don't overthink it, Drummer."
Matsueda adjusted the guitar and smiled.
"No amp? Then no amp."
"If the police show up, we run. Whoever's faster wins."
That's rock and roll.
Usually, people got reported for being too loud.
But with no amplifier, there was barely any chance of disturbing anyone.
Unless their luck was terrible, no one would even notice.
"I sent you the lyrics and score already."
Matsueda waved his phone.
"Wait…"
Rikki frowned.
"Who helped you compose this?"
She paused.
Why didn't he ask me?
A strange unease tightened in her chest.
"…No one," Matsueda said casually. "I just tried it myself."
Rikki relaxed.
Just a little.
Among the people he knew, the only one besides her who could compose was—
Toyokawa Sakiko.
For a moment, she had thought…
"Then why didn't you ask me?" she muttered.
"This song?"
Matsueda scratched his cheek.
"…It wouldn't really suit you."
"You'll understand once you hear it."
He didn't explain further.
Because the truth was—
This song had originally been written for Sakiko.
A surprise.
One that was never delivered.
Before he could even show it—
Everything had already fallen apart.
For a long time, he couldn't even bring himself to touch the song.
He had even thought about deleting it.
But now—
After stepping on stage again—
He felt like he had finally let go.
"…What do you mean it doesn't suit me…"
Rikki muttered, opening the file.
But before she could even read it—
Matsueda started singing.
[Yubikiri genman, hora demo fuitara](Pinky promise—if I lie…)
[Hari demo nan demo nomasete itadaki](I'll swallow needles, anything you want)
Goosebumps spread across Rikki's skin.
His voice was rough.
Lazy.
But underneath—
There was something deeper.
Something raw.
And instantly—
She realized—
This song was completely different.
Not just slightly.
Not even close.
If someone told her it was written by a completely different person—
She'd believe it.
But that wasn't criticism.
The melody was powerful.
Addictive.
It made her shiver.
[Kagami yo kagami yo kono yo de ichiban](Mirror, mirror… in this world…)
[Kawaru koto no nai ai o kureru no wa dare](Who gives me the most unchanging love?)
Now she understood.
Why he said—
It didn't suit her.
She couldn't have written this.
Not like this.
Her hand unconsciously gripped her arm.
She took a step back.
What is he trying to say?
Does he not need her anymore?
Didn't he just say—
They'd be a band forever?
That she was the only one?
…Was that all a lie?
Matsueda noticed her expression.
Huh?
Why did she suddenly look distant?
Was the song bad?
Too bad?
Or…
Did she just not like it?
Then—
Their eyes met.
[Watashi no saigo wa anata ga ii](If I have an ending—I want it to be with you)
[Shinunoga ii wa](I'd rather die)
Rikki froze.
"…Wait."
Her eyes widened.
These lyrics…
She had misunderstood.
Completely.
He wasn't showing off.
He wasn't replacing her.
This song—
Wasn't about technique.
It was about emotion.
Matsueda finally relaxed.
Good.
He had been confident in this song.
Especially this part.
Even he had felt chills when writing it.
It didn't feel like he wrote it—
It felt like it was given to him.
And now—
Rikki understood it too.
That was enough.
Originally, these lyrics were meant for Sakiko.
But now—
They meant something else.
If he couldn't become the person he wanted to be—
Then he'd rather die.
And surely—
Rikki would understand that feeling too.
Because that's why they rebuilt Crychic.
To reach something beyond themselves.
To become—
Something better.
[Sando no meshi yori anta ga ii no yo](I'd choose you over three meals a day…)