To anyone lacking proper context, asking a goblin to be friends would probably come off as strange. Suspicious, even. Maybe outright foolish.
But that didn't apply to me. I knew exactly what I was doing. And I didn't mean this because of my Ghostish nature.
Years—no, decades—of consuming isekai stories had drilled certain patterns into my head. If there was one thing those stories had taught me, it was this:
When something unusual happens, you don't ignore it. You build on it.
And right now, this goblin? He was unusual. Very unusual.
"A living being who can see a ghost," I mumbled under my breath. "That's not normal."
Not even close. Which meant he was valuable. Extremely valuable. No doubt one of those special Goblin amongst other Goblin kind of moment.
"So the next logical step is obvious," I continued, nodding to myself. "You befriend him."
That was how it always started. You meet someone unique. You build a connection. You turn that connection into something useful.
It was a simple process, very efficient, and most importantly, it had proved very effective in all those Isekai content.
I wasn't about to take a different direction. I am not that type of person who soughts out a different route because being different equals being special.
Why do that. Why go through the stress of trying to be different when you can just take on what has already been established then refine it, polish it in a way that would suit you best.
I pride myself as someone who knoes to take the normal and turn it into extra normal. It's never about taking that common path, it's all about turning that common path into a path that outshines any other path.
Probably doesn't make sense now, but in the coming future, I am certain what I say now will come to make sense.
But going on...
"I befriend the goblin," I said, counting it off on my fingers. "We become allies. I use him as a bridge to interact with the physical world…"
I halted for effect. "And in return, I bless him with my fifty years of accumulated otaku knowledge."
I spread my arms slightly, as if presenting the brilliance of my own plan.
"A fair exchange." In fact, "A perfectly balanced one."
He gains knowledge. I gain influence. Everybody wins.
"…Yeah, this is definitely the right move."
With that settled, I turned back to him.
"So," I said, leaning forward slightly, "what do you say, Goblin? Want to be my friend?"
I flashed him a grin. At least, I tried to.
What I intended was a warm, friendly smile. Something approachable and inviting enough to have him consider.
What I ended up with… I would rather not discuss. If I had to describe it, it was probably closer to unsettling than friendly.
Note to self: work on your smile more.
The goblin stared at me. Silently. Expression unreadable.
I couldn't tell if it was his natural look or just how he was processing the situation, but either way, it wasn't helping.
"…Okay." he says.
"No," I started, already preparing my speech. "Look, kid, if you become my friend, I promise I will—"
I stopped. "…Did you just say okay?"
He nodded. Calm and simple.
"Okay," he repeated. "I will be your friend."
"…Really?" I stared at him.
That… wasn't how this was supposed to go.
I had expected resistance. Questions and suspicion were even welcomed. At the very least, he should have hesitated before he gave me an answer.
Then I would step in with my well-crafted explanation, laying out all the benefits of forming an alliance with me.
I even had a mental outline prepared. Now I can't use it. I felt… oddly disappointed.
He agreed way too easily. Where was the challenge. The dramatic build up to me giving him all the reasons in the world why being my friend is the best possible outcome for us both.
"…This is anticlimactic."
I floated there for a moment, my body slightly curling inward as I fell into thought.
Had I made the right choice? This goblin, he seemed… Too nonchalant.
"Are you okay?"
I snapped out of it. The goblin was looking at me with mild concern.
"I'm fine," I said quickly, waving a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about me."
Right. Time to focus.
"We're friends now," I said, straightening up. "So… we should probably—um... Do something."
Silence. "…Right." That wasn't helpful.
"…Names."
Yes. That was a good start.
"Friends need to know each other's names," I said, nodding confidently.
Perfect. "I'll go first," I continued. "I am—" I thought twice. "…I am…?" Another pause. "…Excuse me for a second."
A realization hit me…I don't have a name.
At least, not here. Back on Earth, sure. I had one. But in this world? As a ghost? Nothing.
That's not good. Names had meaning, a means of Identification. Without one, I was just… something.
Not to panic too much, I am sure I can fix this before it blows out of proportion.
So I straightened my form, "Call me Ghost," I said.
It sounds catching, feels cool and easily rolls off the tongue when said.
"Ghost Sir," he repeated.
"No," I corrected immediately. "Just Ghost."
"Ghost, just Ghost," he said again.
"…No." I narrowed my eyes slightly. "Are you messing with me?"
He didn't react. Which somehow made it worse.
I raised a hand, holding it out firmly. "Ghost," I said clearly. "No prefixes. No titles. No extras. Just Ghost."
He nodded.
Good. That's progress right there people.
"Now," I continued, shifting the focus, "what should I call you?"
I said it only to remember, he didn't have a name either. Nameless Goblin was what the sysyem referred to him as.
"You don't have a name, right?" I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "…That won't do."
Names were important. Very important.
"…Guess I'll have to give you one."
I was afterall a generous man. I mean Ghost. I was a generous Ghost who didn't mind the burden of naming the nameless.
"Oh, you're in luck," I said. "I'm actually very good at naming things."
That was a lie. But confidence was key here.
"Trust me," I added. "You're in safe hands."
I chuckled. "Now let's see…"
I began analyzing him. Outward appearance first.
"Goblin. Green. Frail. Kind of pathetic looking."
Okay, maybe don't include that last part. Still, those were the core traits.
"If I combine those elements…" I trailed off, thinking. "…Got it."
A spark lit up in my mind. "Kaiden," I said suddenly.
I straightened, pointing at him. "From now on, you will be known as Kaiden."
I nodded once, satisfied. "That's a solid name."
Strong. Memorable. "Definitely much better than Nameless Goblin. Right?"
Before I could get a response. Something felt wrong.
A sudden weakness spread through my body. It wasn't a gradual nor was it a subtle kind. It hit me all at once, leaving me with no room for preparations.
My form flickered before it proceeded to become destabilized. With how nauseous I felt, there was no way I could have held myself in place.
My shape collapsed, melting into itself, turning into that same unstable, goo-like state I had experienced before.
Only this time. It's worse. It was much worse. My consciousness wavered and my vision blurred.
"What's happening…?"
I tried to focus. Tried to stabilize my form. It wasn't working. None of my effort bore good fruit.
Soon, the world faded. My senses dulled. Before I could do anything, Everything went deaf and dark.
…
…
…
When I woke up from my unconsented slumber, something about the air that surrounded me felt very different.
I reformed slowly as my awareness returned piece by piece.
The first thing that caught my side was a massive figure hovering above my line of sight from where I laid gooish on the floor.
"A Goblin".
That was gibberish from me. You don't usually use the word massive for a Goblin. So yeah, I was spouting gibberish no doubt.
It was a case of mistaken identity due to the greenish skin of the person hovering above me.
His body was filled with muscle, each movement carrying weight and strength that was completely absent before. His frame was solid, powerful, nothing like the frail, scrawny figure of a Goblin that I know.
"…This guy looks like he lifts boulders for fun."
If I had to describe it, with the green and the somewhat similar facial structure, "…A goblin that went to a bodybuilding academy."
And maybe took steroids on the side.
"…Yeah. That sounds about right." But that raised a very important question.
"…Where's the Goblin I was with?"
Because I definitely had a goblin friend. A scrawny one. Not this bodybuilder in a make believe Goblin form.
The similarity was uncanny enough to shut me up for a second.
I stared at him. Then back at myself. Then back at him again.
"Wait." A realization slowly crept in. "…Don't tell me…" I narrowed my eyes. "…What the heck happened to you?"