The tension hadn't even settled—
Before it snapped.
Chairs scraped.
A slow, deliberate set of footsteps echoed across the room.
Three figures approached the rookie 9
Headbands etched with strange musical notes.
The one in front—
Bandages across his face.
Eyes sharp, Cold and hungry for recognition.
Behind him—
A girl with bells that were somehow silent in dark silky hair.
And a shorter boy—
Arms wrapped in bandages, brandishing them like weapons, his palms never closing.
The room quieted.
Not completely—
But enough.
They stopped directly in front of Naruto's group.
"…You Konoha nin...think you're hot shit huh?"
The bandaged one - Dosu - spoke.
Argumentative, hostile.
Naruto leaned back in his chair slightly.
Grinning.
"…Hell yeah we are. Hot like Jim Carrey climbing out of a rhino, baby. You got a problem with that?"
A pause.
Kiba choked on a laugh. 'Stupid Naruto, who the hell is Jim Carrey?'
Ino covered her mouth, trying not to smile.
Sakura whispered, "Naruto—!"
Too late.
The air shifted.
The short one—Zaku—stepped forward.
"Say that again."
Naruto didn't move.
Didn't blink.
"…You heard me the first time."
He tilted his head.
"…Or are your ears as broken as your fashion sense?"
A few nearby genin snorted.
Others leaned in.
Watching.
Dosu's visible eye narrowed slightly.
"…We'll see how confident you are after this."
A soft ringing sound permeated the air, the mummified sound ninja had flicked the metal vambrace full of wholes that covered his forearm.
A beat.
*Ping*
Status effect initiated- chakra has entered your inner ear
-30% Balance, -20% intelligence until foreign chakra leaves your body
Naruto swayed on his feet, suddenly clutching his head. Kiba to his rear spoke up, "…You've got a problem? Try messing with me. You good Naruto?"
"Yeah...just a little headache."
Kin stepped forward slightly—
"Remember this feeling little boy, there's plenty more where that came from."
The rest of the rookie 9 glared at the sound ninja, posturing, sizing up their possible opponents.
"Enough."
The voice cut through everything.
Calm.
But absolute.
The pressure changed instantly.
Every head turned.
The doors creaked open—
And a man stepped in.
Tall.
Broad.
Wrapped in a black coat.
His head covered.
Face—
Scarred.
Not just one or two.
Dozens.
Burns.
Cuts.
Marks of something far worse than battle.
The room froze.
"…Ibiki Morino."
Someone whispered it.
Like a warning.
Naruto's eyes narrowed.
"…Damn."
Even he felt it.
That presence wasn't just strength.
It was experience.
Pain.
Control.
Ibiki's gaze swept the room slowly.
Every genin.
Every movement.
Nothing escaped him.
Behind him—
Several chunin entered.
Clipboards in hand.
Silent.
Observing.
Watching everything.
Not just answers—
Behavior.
Intent.
Ibiki spoke.
"Sit down."
No one argued.
Not even the Sound trio.
They moved.
Tension dissolving—
But not gone.
Just buried.
Naruto leaned back again.
"…Saved by the bell."
Kiba exhaled.
"…Man, those guys were weird."
Shikamaru muttered.
"…Troublesome."
Sasuke said nothing.
But his eyes—
Tracked everything.
Ibiki stepped forward.
"Welcome to the first stage of the Chuunin Exams."
His voice carried easily.
Controlled.
"You will be taking a written test."
Groans.
Murmurs.
Confusion.
Naruto blinked.
"…A test?"
Ino frowned.
"…Seriously?"
Ibiki didn't care.
"The rules will be explained. Listen carefully. As a team you must cumulatively answer over 10 questions correctly. There will be a final question at the end of the exam that will weed out those that aren't worthy of being here. If your team is caught cheating or doing anything deceptive throughout the exam three times, you're out. Better luck next year."
The chunin began passing out papers.
Pencils.
Everything precise.
Everything monitored.
Naruto stared down at the sheet as it landed in front of him.
"…Alright."
He cracked his knuckles.
"…How hard could it be?"
—
Five minutes later.
"…What the hell is this?"
Naruto stared at the paper.
Equations.
Strategy scenarios.
Information he had never even seen before.
"…This is garbage."
He glanced sideways.
Sasuke—
Writing.
Focused.
Sakura—
Already halfway done.
"…Of course."
Naruto sighed.
"…Alright… think."
He looked back down.
Question 1—
He guessed.
Question 2—
"…Maybe?"
Question 3—
"…Yeah, that sounds right."
Then—
Nothing.
Blank.
"…Tch."
His pencil tapped lightly.
Around him—
Subtle movements.
Too subtle.
A sleeve shift.
A glance.
A reflection in a headband.
Naruto's eyes narrowed slightly.
"…Wait."
Something felt off.
Not just the difficulty.
The setup.
"…Inspect."
His vision flickered.
Scanning.
Students—
Genin—
Chakra levels—
Normal—
Then—
Ping.
A figure two rows ahead.
'Chunin Examiner — Disguised Participant'
Naruto's eyes sharpened.
"…What?"
Another—
To his left.
'Chunin Examiner — Disguised Participant'
Another—
Behind him.
Ping. Ping. Ping.
"…No way."
His grip tightened slightly on the pencil.
"...They're planted."
Realization hit.
Hard.
"They're not testing knowledge…"
His gaze flicked around the room again.
Every movement made sense now.
The glances.
The subtle shifts.
"…They're testing if we can cheat or not."
A slow grin spread across his face.
"…Without getting caught."
*Ping*
+0 to intelligence for figuring this out, you are wise beyond your 12!
His face deadpanned.
"…Thanks system." ...No response.
Warning bells faded—
Replaced with something else.
Excitement.
"Alright…"
He leaned forward slightly.
"…Now this is a ninja test."
Across from him—
Sasuke's pencil never stopped moving.
But something had changed.
His eyes—
Red.
Spinning.
Sharingan active.
Naruto caught it immediately.
"…He figured it out."
Sasuke wasn't looking at his own paper.
He was watching—
The genin in front of him.
No—
Not genin.
Plant.
Every stroke.
Every pause.
Every micro-adjustment of the wrist—
Copied.
Perfectly.
Sasuke's pencil mirrored it all.
Line for line.
No hesitation.
No wasted motion.
"…Tch."
Naruto leaned back slightly.
"…Of course you did."
Around the room—
Other genin struggled.
Sweating.
Guessing.
Some already eliminated—
Chunin appearing beside them silently—
"Not good enough, you're out."
Just like that a group of genin were lead out of the exam room, one damn near kicking and screaming.
Naruto's eyes narrowed.
"…So brute force won't work."
He tapped his pencil again.
Think.
Observe.
Adapt.
"…Information gathering without getting caught…"
His gaze flicked again—
To Sasuke.
"…And he's already doing it."
A pause. Ibiki's eyes scanned the room. His eyes noticed a mirror embedded into the sealing, a girl with two buns using it to glance at other people's tests. A dog barking answers to his Inuzuka master. Some kid clearly using his byakugan, unashamed.
'Do these kids think i'm retarded or something' He scratched their names down on his clipboard chuckling to himself.
Then—
A slow grin spread across Naruto's face.
"…Alright."
"…Then I'll do it my way."
He stood up.
SCRAPE
The sound of his chair echoed loudly through the room.
Every head turned.
Ibiki's eyes locked onto him instantly.
"…Problem?"
Naruto stretched slightly—
Then—
Completely deadpan—
"…Yeah."
A beat.
"…I gotta take a shit."
*Ping*
Due to your strange obsession with bodily waste, -10% charisma with the rest of the chuunin exam participants. 72 hours remaining!
Silence.
Absolute silence. 'Worth it' thought the blonde ninja.
Sakura's face went nuclear red.
"NA—?!"
Kiba choked.
Ino looked like she wanted to die.
Shikamaru covered his face.
"…Unbelievable…"
Ibiki stared at him.
Long.
Unblinking.
"…Make it quick."
Naruto grinned.
"Appreciate it."
He walked out casually—
Like he didn't just nuke the room's dignity.
But—
As he passed Sasuke—
His eyes shifted.
Sharp.
Focused.
A message.
Follow.
A beat.
Then—
SCRAPE
Another chair.
Sasuke stood.
"…I need to go as well."
The room somehow got even quieter.
Naruto didn't turn—
But his grin widened slightly.
Ibiki exhaled slowly.
"…You have two minutes."
Sasuke walked past.
Unbothered.
As if this was completely normal.
—
Hallway → Bathroom
Two chunin proctors followed.
Silent.
Watching.
One leaned slightly toward the other.
"…Why now?"
"…I don't want to know."
Naruto pushed the door open.
"…Home sweet home."
They entered.
Stalls lined the wall.
Naruto took one.
Sasuke took the one right next to him.
The chunin stayed near the entrance.
Arms crossed.
Listening.
Watching.
Waiting.
Silence.
Then—
"…Ugh—"
Naruto groaned loudly.
"…Oh man—this is bad—" His feet spasmed, kicking along the ground with his pants down.
The chunin blinked.
"…What the hell—"
Sasuke followed immediately—
"…Tch—"
A low, strained grunt.
"…This is… unfortunate timing…"
Naruto doubled down.
"…WHY TODAY—?!"
Sasuke:
"…Focus…"
Naruto:
"…I AM—!"
The sounds escalated—
Grunts.
Strained breathing.
Utter nonsense.
The chunin looked at each other.
"…Come on guys don't force it!"
*Whistle whistle whistle* A chuunin turned away, not wanting to look.
His partner turned his head away echoing out "Just give us a courtesy flush would ya? Who do you think has to clean this place when y'all leave?"
Inside the stalls—
Silence.
Naruto crouched on the toilet lid—
Hands already forming a cross signs
Sasuke mirrored him.
POOF
POOF
Two muffled poofs, barely any smoke, and two shadow clones appeared—
Perched silently on the toilet.
Balanced against the wall.
Hidden.
Perfect.
Naruto whispered—
"Stay."
The clone nodded.
Sasuke's clone did the same.
They held their breaths, not because of the smell, but because of the sound.
The originals dropped back down.
They flushed for effect.
"…Ahh—much better."
Sasuke followed.
"…Hn."
They stepped out of the stalls—
Calm.
Composed.
The chunin eyed them suspiciously.
"…You done?"
Naruto grinned.
"…You have no idea."
"…I don't want wanna know."
They exited.
The chunin followed—
Still slightly disturbed.
Back inside—
The bathroom went quiet.
Two shadow clones remained—
Hidden above the stalls—
"Psst, what was number 7?"
The two clones shared information, eventually disappearing with a POOF, carrying their memories back to the originals.
—
Hallway
"…Knew you'd get it." Declared the happy blonde, both hands behind his head, walking with a gutsy gate.
Sasuke didn't respond.
But his Sharingan flickered once—
Satisfied.
—
Back in the exam room—
Two empty seats.
Two grinning idiots returning.
*Ping*
Hidden Submission for Career Progression quest met!
Perk Received! Bathroom Bandit!
+50% bonus to assassination success chance if target is using the bathroom!
+30 System points!
'Huh, kinda weird...but i'll take it. Thanks system.'