I started walking toward them; my throat was dry, yet I didn't stop. I reached them; my breath was as fast as a train. I approached the lady. She had long red hair that glimmered in the sunlight.
"What happened? Sir!" The lady jumped like she saw a ghost. I could see how startling it must have been for her; a man had suddenly run up to her.
"I am sorry for such suddenness, but can I get a job? I will do anything. " I was interrupted by her. My desperation was very visible. Fear of rejection, a voice flew from my ears.
"What happened, sir? Why did you suddenly ask this, and why do you look like you are having some trouble?"
My face looked like that of an unworthy, weak, pathetic person.
She hesitated for a bit, but in the end, she accepted me.
"3 pounds is all I can give."
"Huh? Don't you want to ask any questions?" I asked as my thirst became heavier and heavier.
"No, I thought you needed help, so I am doing that," she replied, glancing back at the setting sun.
My joy overrode my body; my cheeks weren't in my control; they curled up as I spoke.
"Thank you very much. Say anything, and I will do it."
"Ok, dress up." She threw a costume at me. At first, I thought I was unfamiliar with it, but then I quickly realized what it was.
Kids were enjoying the puppet show, but the lady approached the puppeteer and whispered something in his ear.
The puppeteer was confused but immediately understood everything. He announced excitedly.
"Kids, we have a special surprise for you."
Kids whispered.
"What can it be?... Toffee or hard candies for everyone?"
The puppeteer put his hand on his chest, bowed to the audience, and announced.
"I welcome our new member, the clown."
Applauds, a ton of them; I didn't witness them in my entire life.
I stepped up; the kids continued to scream. Some laughed, some got scared, and some were confused.
I slowly took my hat off. The boots gave a weird cracking sound.
But still inside, from my makeup, I cracked a smile.
"I am the clown," I yelled hard, almost too hard, like it was a declaration of something important.
It was my first performance, and I still felt nervous. Due to my training, I could maybe handle it.
"I should first juggle some balls," I thought.
I picked up a few balls and started to juggle them, but it didn't work at all, and all the balls fell on my head.
"What happened?"
I was flabbergasted, but the lady standing behind the crowd sighed and gave a thumbs up.
What is she even giving thumbs up on? I failed miserably.
A sudden laugh went through my ears—everyone laughed.
Huh? Is it what kids enjoyed? I asked myself.
The puppeteer came by my side and announced.
"Today's circus is over. You all can go home now."
All the kids moved, and the place became empty, like it was. Everyone began packing.
The lady came and held my hands and took me inside the tent.
A very small tent; it might've been used for changing.
"The lady spoke. We are here for the introduction. Please introduce yourself, everybody."
There were four people inside the tent, including the lady and me; the one who looked too young to be here spoke.
"Nice to meet you, sir. My name is Daniel Huckel! What's yours?"
"My name is Jack—just Jack," I said as shadow took my eyes.
Another person began to question.
"Huh? How are you, just Jack? Everyone has a surname!"
See this fat piece of shit asking me questions; he looks like one of the nobles. Having the hypocrisy to ask me questions like Aren't they the reason for this?.
If he is the noble, on his last day, I will kill him right away before anyone even notices me.
Lady began to speak—
"It is too early to ask questions; we should give him some time to adjust."
"Are you noble?" I asked, cutting off her voice.
"A noble? "No, I am not." These words relieved me, and I kept my dart with poison inside my sleeve.
"I am fat, so, naturally, people think I am one of them, but I am this because of a disorder."
They were all like friends talking to each other. I wanted to join, but what can I say? That I am a murderer? No, I can't afford to be friends with anyone.
A voice interrupted my thinking.
If you are so strong that you can kill a person for merely asking questions without anyone knowing. Why couldn't you kill the Ripper? If you are so brave, why didn't you fire a bullet at first to save your mom? The truth is that you just want money, no matter how it comes, whether it be killing or sacrificing your own mother.
"No, that is not true!" I screamed.
That is true; your mother used to teach you that if there is a life-and-death situation between you and money, choose money.
No—no, shut up; that is not true.
Someone shook my shoulder.
"What happened, Jack? Are you right? You look pale!"
"Oh, nothing."
"Thank god, so let's continue the introduction."
"So next is, oh, you didn't introduce yourself, Peter."
The fat one was Peter; it was enough for me to know at least he was not one of the nobles.
"Ok, so everyone has given their intro; now it is my turn to introduce myself."
"My name is Lucy! And Jack, I welcome you to Victory Circus."
I nodded, still anxious. I started moving to move out and head home, which was comfortable for me.
Lucy stopped me.
"Wait, Jack, here is something for you."
She gave me an envelope.
"3 pounds? Why?"
"It's your advance salary for the week; I thought you needed this."
I smirked slightly and thanked her.
Still, this was the day the clown smiled.