SF Chapter 125: Glare
The next day, after Dani had spent the entire previous day with Lexi and Mischa, he was back having breakfast at his brother's house.
"So," Dani said, looking at his brothers, "that's the tradition I started in the family." He had obviously included them in the whole make-a-wish thing.
"For me, it's always booze and women," Charlie smirked, giving a predictable answer.
"What would I wish for?" Alan asked, thoughtfully.
"Yeah, bro, think of something you actually want," Dani encouraged him.
"Oh, I'd wish for a house in Malibu too," Alan chuckled.
Dani gave a rare deadpan look. "Oh, no wonder I got hit so much when I say dumb things," he muttered.
"Well, that's your fault for asking Alan about it," Charlie mocked both of them.
"But you got it, Alan," Dani pointed at him.
"Really?" Alan asked in disbelief.
"Yeah. I'll buy you a model of a Malibu house. You can put it in your office as motivation," he replied.
Charlie burst out laughing. "I'll buy a miniature Jag to complete it."
Alan glared at his two brothers.
"Come on, bro, you can't ask for a house in the first round of make-a-wish," Dani scoffed.
"Besides, even if I bought you a house in Malibu, somehow you'd lose it to Judith," he added. "Then we'd have the worst scenario: your ex-wife as our neighbor!"
But Dani relented. "How about renovating your room to make it more comfortable? A new bedroom and everything else."
Alan's expression changed. "That would be nice." Then he tried again, "How about one of those plasma TVs too?"
Dani and Charlie exchanged a look, but the younger one agreed. "Done!"
Then a familiar voice was heard coming from the entrance. "Where are my boys?"
"I changed my wish. My wish is that you make Mom disappear," Charlie said, turning to his brother.
"Bro, I'm offering wishes, not miracles," Dani replied.
Evelyn soon appeared in the kitchen, wearing her usual poised smile.
"So, what are my boys up to?" she asked, already sounding accusatory.
Dani explained what he had started.
As always, Evelyn prodded, "If I hadn't come, when exactly would I have been informed about this?"
"Come on, Mom. You're getting 10% of all the company's profits. This wish is pennies to you," Dani dismissed his mother's attempt to guilt-trip him.
"How about a biographical movie about what a great mother I was?" she proposed with her usual narcissistic touch, since her son had mentioned the movie to Claire.
Charlie immediately mocked her, "I'm confused, Mom - do you want it to be a horror or a comedy?"
The three brothers laughed, until they received a glare from their mother.
"But Charlie is correct. I basically only write comedy. And now, I'm attempting horror," Dani commented.
Before their mother could say anything, Berta walked into the kitchen and handed some letters to Alan.
"Hey, Berta, guess what?" Dani said, looking at her.
"What?" she asked a little dryly.
"You just got a big raise from me. Permanently!" he announced.
Berta tapped her chest. "Best boss ever."
Then, with a jab while glancing at Evelyn, she said, "At least you raised one of them right," managing to insult everyone except Dani.
Berta went to clean Dani's room, ignoring the three glares directed at her.
Evelyn still had a judgmental look on her face. "I don't know why you still keep that housekeeper, Charles."
"Probably because Berta has wiped Charlie and Dani's asses more than you ever did, Mom," Alan said sarcastically.
Now Charlie and Evelyn glared at him.
Dani was the only one who laughed. "Come on, that was a good one!" He patted his brother on the shoulder, even though he had also been the target of the joke.
But as if the universe never allowed a clean win, Alan made a face when he saw the letter Berta had handed him.
"It's from Judith's lawyers," he revealed.
Dani inquired, "Really? Good news?"
"No, it's not good news. Judith filed for divorce," he replied, aggrieved.
Daniel restrained himself from pointing out that it was already known to everyone...
"Perfect, that's exactly what I came here to talk about," Evelyn cut in.
"Now that Daniel is more famous and the media is watching closely, I don't want to hear a single rumor tarnishing his name."
"So go tell Judith that if she even tries to slander Daniel's reputation, her alimony won't even cover the filing fees once we unleash the multimillion-dollar lawyers we'll hire."
[Daniel commentary]
"Well, Mom can be really tough and knows how to defend us," Dani remarked.
"Besides, Superbad is set to be more profitable than Mean Girls. That means Mom is going to make over ten million dollars net."
He was referring to the company's profits from box office, DVDs, and syndication...
"And there's also a chance the other movies will do well too," he finished.
[Commentary ends]
"Way to go, Mom," Dani backed her up. "You're starting to sound like Tywin Lannister - a character from a book I read, A Song of Ice and Fire," he remarked.
"It would be incredible if our studio could adapt it. Maybe not as a movie, but as a TV show, since the books are massive and complex."
"If it makes money, you should talk to your father," Evelyn said, not missing the opportunity.
"We should start using it as our family motto," Dani said. "A Harper always pays his bills..."
"Unless your name is Alan. Then you let the other Harpers pay for it."
Now Evelyn and Charlie burst out laughing, and Alan went back to glaring at his younger brother.
[Daniel commentary]
"I really love A Song of Ice and Fire. George R. R. Martin is an absolute genius," Daniel praised the author.
"If only he wrote faster," he wished, unaware that releasing a book every two years was something he would never see again in the author's lifetime.
"I wish I had written it. What incredible book..."
But then Dani paused and thought, "My sister would go nuts about it - with all the sex, gore, profanity, and deaths..."
"...and there'd probably be a full-on family intervention over how much 'family bonding' the books have. Especially Jaime and Cersei, the incestuous twins."
[Commentary ends]
--------------
If you enjoy it, please leave a Review and Power Stones
You can also support me on patreon and read up to 25 chapters ahead, plus 32 chapters of Modern Family: Francis Jacob Pritchett
[email protected]/Japa_Madri