SF Chapter 31: The Incident III
After talking for a bit, DeDe was sitting on the couch, fiddling with Lily's little foot.
"Mom…" Mitchell called out. "Mom, what are you doing to her legs?"
"Tai chi. I did it every day in Sedona," she replied, then looked at her son's boyfriend. "Cameron, you should try it."
Cam, who was about to take a bite of some bread, stopped and put it back on the plate.
[Cam and Mitchell commentary]
"Mitchell's mother has a problem… with me," Cam stated, staring straight ahead.
He made a small hand gesture, since Mitchell, sitting beside him, was about to defend her.
Cam started telling a story from the past. "Last Christmas, for example, she gave me a piece of exercise equipment and a lettuce spinner."
He went on, "So, to recap: I gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings, and she gave me a hint."
Mitchell kept looking at him, one hand slightly raised, but said nothing.
[Commentary ends]
DeDe commented while continuing her strange tai chi with her granddaughter. "Living in Sedona has been transformational. I wake up every morning and go to a vortex meditation site."
"I work with a shaman to finally understand how to live my spirituality," she revealed.
"Yikes," Mitchell muttered.
"And I've learned that the only way I can move to the next level of my awakening is if we all can somehow get past… the incident." She finally brought up the subject she clearly wanted to talk about.
"The incident. Oh, no," three voices said at the same time.
[Mitchell and Cam commentary]
"Well, my mother wanted to go to the wedding to show everyone how okay she was with all of it, after, you know…" Mitchell paused. "Dad marrying her sister, and now, years later, marrying a very young and attractive woman."
He glanced sideways. "So I… kinda… uh… convinced Dad and Gloria to invite her."
"Who warned you that that was the worst idea ever?" Cam wondered aloud.
"Anyone?" He raised one hand and pointed to it with the other. "Anyone?"
[Claire and Phil commentary]
"My mom started drinking these cocktails called 'Horny Colombians' with some of Gloria's uncles," Claire began recalling her father's last wedding. "Which, apparently, the drink was named after."
"Oh, come on, they were funny," Phil pointed out. "Dani and I had a great time with them."
"Two of them got beaten up pretty badly by the other six," Claire deadpanned, staring at her husband.
[Jay and Gloria commentary]
"I wanted a big, beautiful wedding with Jay, because my ex-husband and I got married in a tiny little judge's office in Colombia," Gloria remarked, sitting beside her husband.
"During my vows to my first husband, drug dealers burst in and assassinated the judge," she revealed.
"But this was way worse. And I'm not talking about my two uncles who got their faces completely smashed."
[Commentary ends]
(Flashback)
Everyone was seated at Jay and Gloria's wedding. DeDe, already visibly drunk, stood up and raised her glass.
"I would like to congratulate Jay and the lovely Gloria. I'm very happy for them."
She kept going. "To the bride and the groo - my ex. Seventeen years we were together, and he couldn't wait ten minutes to run off with my younger sister."
"Now, sixteen years later, he's with Charo," she said, waving her hand. "I'm kidding. Kidding."
Then she joked again, "Seriously, I knew they were perfect for each other when I saw his wallet and her boobs," earning a shocked reaction from the guests.
"Take your hands off me," DeDe started to ramble incoherently.
"Mom," Mitchell rushed over.
She glanced at her son. "Oh, relax, Mitchell. What, did you take your Claire pill?"
At the table, Phil had to restrain Claire so she wouldn't go after her mother.
"Okay, l-let's just - let's get a little fresh air, okay? Come on," he started pulling her away, with Cam on the other side and Alan holding one of her legs.
Then DeDe began to thrash around. "I'm Gloria. I'm Gloria. Kiss me," making the guests gasp and murmur.
She started making strange noises. "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! Ooh! Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!" until she managed to kick Alan, sending him backward and knocking over the wedding cake along with him.
(Flashback ends)
[Daniel commentary]
"Yeah, Dad's wedding was a mess," Daniel chuckled. "I told him it was a bad idea to invite Aunt DeDe. At least my mom didn't go."
He went on, reminiscing. "But it was a nice wedding. I remember drinking with Phil and Gloria's uncles."
"Later, I overheard two of them talking about how hot a blonde woman was, saying they could claim it was some Colombian tradition and pat her butt." He laughed even harder.
"I really like jokes. So I did the same - I offered two grand to the other six to have a friendly fight with those two."
"True story!" He raised the glass he was drinking from.
Then he added, "As for the moment Aunt DeDe made a complete scene, I was… uh… occupied. So I couldn't stop it."
[Charlie and Alan commentary]
"Well, it wasn't my fault - she knocked me over and I ended up falling on top of the cake," Alan stated. "I was only trying to help."
"Alan, you were taken down by a sixty-three-year-old woman last year," Charlie mocked, sitting beside him. "Oh, how I would've loved to see that."
Alan made a face at his brother, but grew curious. "Where were you at that moment?"
"I was occupied," his brother replied, completely unfazed.
[Commentary ends]
(Flashback)
"Hey, Charlie, where are you taking me?" A beautiful brunette was in his arms as the two of them headed toward a more secluded room at the wedding.
"To the coatroom," he smirked. "I did it there at my brother's wedding."
"You really are a bad, bad guy," she mocked, but already slipping her hands into his intimate areas.
When they got there, he pulled out a key he'd gotten from one of the attendants - after slipping him a tip - and opened the coatroom.
Charlie and Camila started making out intensely, but soon noticed they weren't alone.
They saw two young people ahead of them: a very beautiful brunette and a blond guy thrusting from behind.
Her dress was slightly lifted, while he was still in his suit, with only his member exposed. Not really exposed since most was inside the girl.
"Whoa, whoa," Daniel exclaimed when he saw the two people in front of him. "Hey, bro, this spot's already taken…"
"Aunt Camila?" Sofia gasped, bringing a hand to her mouth as she recognized the woman beside him.
"You can use it, we'll find somewhere else," Charlie said, quickly pulling the woman away.
After his brother left, Daniel kept thrusting into her. "That drink really made me horny," he joked.
Sofia didn't say anything. She just turned around, kissed him, and arched her hips even more so he could pick up the pace.
(Flashback ends)
[Daniel and Charlie commentary]
"You're just an exhibitionist, aren't you?" Charlie scoffed, staring at his brother.
Daniel denied it. "I just got caught by you, Alan, Dad, and Mom. And a few others..."
[Commentary ends]
[Chapter end]
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