As I walk up these stairs with emptiness in the inside of me,I feel like the world is revolving at my sight and I am about to fall down due to such.
"Hello,"Bris says.
"Hie,"I answer back.
"Are you ok?"He asks.
"No,"I straightfowardly answer.
"well,what happened?"He impatiently asks.
I burst out in tears as every word just comes back to me like I am flipping the pages of a chapter.
"How can I be okay when all of this is happening? How can I simply lie to myself that I am okay when my mother is suffering and I can't even help her?How can I simply be okay when she is being insulted before me and I can't do anything about? And to make matters worse,the thought of it all just makes me sick to the stomach so how can I..."I fail to finish,my throat has become very sour.
"I know that it hurts..I have never been in your shoes before but I can imagine what you are going through right now,"he comfortingly says
"I am so helpless right now Bris like I just don't know how I can help my mother and not to speak of this woman that just wants to make my life a living hell for me like how am I going to survive?"I ask now like a helpless bird whose wings are badly wounded and can not fly into the sky.
"I understand but you know all of this is out of your control and trust me if you can manage school with how hectic it gets,you can manage anything.You are strong and I know that you can conquer anything just be strong and stay in there,"he further adds.
"How can God be watching all of this happen?"I ask
"You can be helpless but your mom is definetly not,life is not pinned by one's wealth her help comes from God and so does yours,He is not silent so wait.....shall we pray?"He asks.......
I wake up from this comfortable space with my eyes stained red,aching like crazy,my head badly aching and my white pillow stained with my salty tears,I didn't sleep a wink last night until this morning and I am writing a test today,what a way to begin my day with.I was confused with how my life could possibly turn around like this,I decided to reflect on my ways of living and what I really want.
Waking up this morning,all that echoes in my ears is my goal,my ambitions are furiously chunning in my mind as they passionately assemble in my brain and ready to be fulfilled. My body is weak but no matter what it is still ready to fight whatever comes in my way,I am ready to face the circumstances of this life because I have found my purpose.No longer can I bear the thought of my mom being poor while I am here busy basking in the riches of my dad comfortably.I have to work hard and I am determined that I will make it without my dad having to extra-invest in my education because I am failing.I will make it out on my own pace without dady having to pull in.I need my mother and I am going to ensure that everything else is put behind me and my goals before me.
"Good morning,"I greet this woman as I glow with a very beautiful smile and I can feel that she is shocked to see me glow like this.
"Good morning?"She looks confused and suprised and it just makes me want to laugh in her face.
"How are you doing this fine morning?"I ask while still smiling widely.
"Good and I can see you are also doing great but howcome you are doing okay?Weren't you just crying yetserday why are you like this I mean like have your tears dried up or something?"she asks looking all shocked to see me at peace
I sigh with relief and take my seat,"I have found my purpose now I thought it was something but nope I just had to re-define it and here I am,doesn't God just work wonders?"I rhetorically ask her
"Ohhhhh okay but why didn't you wake up to help me make breakfast?"she asks
"Why didn't you ask Stacy to help you out?"I answer with a question
"Did you just talk back at me?"She asks
"Noooo i answered you mommy,"I say as I am about to stuff my mouth with bread
"Good morning princess,"dad says as he is about to take his seat
"Morning daddy,"I say while I focus on my plate
"Wow you look beautiful,it's nice to see you like this,"he says
"Thanks darling,"she answers like it was for her to
"I was talking about Dali,"he tells her without hesitation
I look at her and see her expression and man she does not look happy at all.
"Thank you daddy,"I answer
"You didn't even greet me,"she starts to complain
"Ohh yes,good morning wifey,"he says
"Wifey?"She starts to nag,"so you can call her my princess and that's what you can come up with?Wifey?"
I can smell jelousy clouding up around this space and I don't want to be part of it so I focus on my plate.
"Where is Stacy?"What an excellent way to dodge the question
"She is still sleeping,"she answers as her face fumes red due to anger
"Does she wake up to read?"He asks while looking at her
"No why should she?It's not as if she is in a serious class,"she answers as she takes her seat
"You know how much I hate lazy people let alone lazy children,grades are very important,Dali go wake up your sister,"he tells me
"Yes sir,"I say as I happily stand up to go and shake the lazy bones up
"What did you call him?"she stops me before I could even take a step
"Sir,"I answer
"Is that the way to answer your dad?As If he is a millitary man?"She asks me looking all serious
"I didn't complain,go call your sister iwe,"he intervenes
I wonder what made her ask such a question because isn't it obvious that he is a millitary man...i just want to laugh in her face such humilliation!
"Stacy!"I try to wake up the lazy bones
"Let me sleep it's not as if I have any chore to do,"she mumbles as she now turns
"Dad wants you to get ready in five minutes,"I now try to wake her up with what seems to be a threat because if she doesn't wake up on time mmmmm she is going to be in serious trouble.
"What!"She suddenly sits up upon hearing what i have just uttered to her,"why would he say that?Did I do anything wrong?"She asks in fear
"Mmmmm I am not really sure,how about you go and check for yourself after you get ready in five minutes,"to make it more dramatic I decie to remind her of the minutes that she has remaining,"you only have 3 minutes remaining,"I say as I now step back to let her do the needful,prepare in just 3 minutes
"Okay thanks I am going to be down in just 3 minutes,"she says as now she rushes into the bathroom
"Why are you waking up by this time?"He asks Stacy
"Really?Is that the question to ask her?"?er mom asks him,looking at him with the 'have mercy'eyes
"Are you Stacy?"He looks at her seriously
"sorry sir,"she answers as she bows her head in shame
"I usually wake up late you know since I am not in a serious class like Dali,"she answers him with just no sense of regret
"Now listen to me,"the lecture begins,"you really don't have to be lazy because I shall not tolerate such outrageous laziness in this house and from now on you will do the dishes since you are not in a serious class as you have stated
"What do you mean?"The mother asks in defence of her daughter as if she has been sentenced to life imprisonment
"Whoever opposes will start living their own independent lives hence becoming their own breadwinners,"he seriously says,"princess will not be doing any chores from now on until she writes her exams,"he concludes.
Tears have filled up my eyes and a smirk has taken over my face and I am afraid and proud at the same time that I can't hide it.
"Girls excuse your father and I,"she says as she avoids eye contact but turns her face towards us
"Yes ma'am,"I say while smirking and that part of me really wants to eavesdrop on their conversation and not miss the drama so I won't really 'excuse them' the way she wants
"Why can't you hire a maid?You are totally capable of it,"she starts while keeping her voice down
"I did hire one and she was the one you fired meaning that you saw it in you that you and your daughter could manage without a househelp,"he replies
"No that wasn't what it meant,"she revokes
"Then what did you mean by that?"He asks
"I just never felt safe around her,I felt like she was coniving with Dalitso against me so I just had to do what my concious was telling me,"she answers
"If you feel like you will be able to be paying the maid then it's fine,you can totally hire a new maid but if you won't be able to pay her then you and you daughter will be doing the chores,"he answers
"Why are you spoiling this little girl?"She furiously and yet respectfully asks because she knows what's coming to her if she doesn't sound respectful
"Spoiling?"He rhetorically asks,"you speak like you haven't seen her do the chores,though she is rich it doesn't mean that she is spoilt....sometimes she refers to herself as a spoilt brat but that's how everybody identifies rich kids it doesn't really mean that they are all spoilt so choose your words wisely when you are referring to my princess okay?"He finish with such a masculine touch
She just chuckles in pain and one can really see it on her face.
"Who would ypu choose?Between me and your so called 'princess'?"She asks out of the blue like she doesn't have any idea of who my father really loves
"Really?"He asks also shocked to have seen that she has the guts to ask such kind of a dumbfounding question.
Usually one would think that my dad is left in a dilema when such questions are asked because he is really asked these kinds of questions mostly. I remember grandma also asked him this when she visited us.
"Who do you love the most between your wife and child?"She asked him while they were in the livingroom and I pretended to be listening to music
......He was silent for about about a minute I believe contemplating on how he could put it for her to understand.
"Isn't it obvious?"He asked her back
"You know you knew your wife before you even knew that Dalitso was to exist here in this world,"she started to reasonate
"And?"He asked
"You have to treat your wife with respect because it is very important that she is treated with it,"she started to explain and yeah yeah yeah yeah story for another day
Back to the present......
"Isn't it obvious?I love you more,"he smiles but I can cleary see it through his smile that he just lied to please her
"Are you sure?Then you should learn to respct some of the decisions that I make in this house,you hear me?"She says while hugging him
"You are the one that I really love but Dalitso is my world that is irreplaceable,"he says it while also hugging her back
I guess she has gotten so carried away that she did not hear or maybe understand what he said to her,she is busy barrowing in pride,what a pity!