In the pavilion of Mirkwood, Thranduil genuinely hoped the dragon would feed the Arkenstone to a mountain. The idea of Thorin Oakenshield losing his precious jewel to a creature that literally ate rocks was deeply satisfying to the Elven-king.
"My thanks," Smaug replied. He intended to try standard gems first. The Arkenstone was a powerful bargaining chip, and he preferred not to waste it if a handful of rubies would do the trick. "Now, for the third matter."
"The lands around the Lonely Mountain are currently quite barren. It ruins the view. Could you, old neighbor, lend a hand? Send some of your botanists and wood-shapers to plant a forest for me?"
Before Thranduil could protest the absurdity of the request, Smaug repeated his earlier party trick: he opened his jaws and unleashed another torrential downpour of gold onto the balcony.
"The more trees, the better. A wide variety of species. The larger the forest, the happier I'll be. Oh, and the sooner, the better," Smaug said cheerfully.
Thranduil looked at the new mountain of gold, his suspicion mounting.
For the Wood-elves, shaping trees and planting a forest was not a difficult task; it was their very nature. Smaug surely knew this. So why pay such an exorbitant price?
"War is coming," Thranduil said, narrowing his eyes. "A forest planted today will likely be burned to ash tomorrow. What is the point of this?"
"I like looking at green things," Smaug replied simply. "It improves my mood. Is that not reason enough? Will you help or not?"
Thranduil didn't believe the excuse for a second, but gold was gold, and planting trees was easy labor. "Very well. It shall be done."
"Excellent. Pleasure doing business with you. I'll be off," Smaug said, turning to leave. He paused, looking at the young prince. "Oh, by the way, Legolas. There's a saying where I come from: 'Why hang yourself on a single branch when there is an entire forest of flowers?'"
"Some Elves simply aren't worth the heartache. A wider world awaits you. Go explore it."
With that unsolicited, deeply confusing piece of romantic advice regarding Tauriel, Smaug launched himself into the sky and banked toward Erebor to fetch his gems.
"..." Legolas stared after the dragon, completely baffled.
"Father," Legolas finally said, "do you get the feeling that he is... strangely cultured?" He couldn't understand how a Fire-drake possessed such folksy, philosophical wisdom.
"Hmm," Thranduil grunted. He was well aware of his son's feelings for Tauriel. "Regardless of his nature, the beast speaks truly. You are young. The world is wide, and you should see it."
"..." Legolas was speechless. He had the sudden, terrifying feeling that his father and the dragon were becoming friends.
Thranduil didn't linger. He turned and walked back into the palace, leaving Legolas the tedious task of summoning the guards to shovel the gold into the treasury.
A few hours later, Smaug—having loaded a massive haul of glittering jewels into his system storage—flew out of Erebor and headed straight for the Misty Mountains.
The Misty Mountains lived up to their name, shrouded in a perpetual, damp fog.
Having scouted the location previously, Smaug (currently in his Eagle form) easily located the High Pass and the sleeping forms of the Stone Giants. He landed on the shoulder of the same giant he had tried to talk to days ago.
This time, he didn't bother speaking as a bird. He triggered his skill and shifted instantly back into his true, hundred-meter-long draconic form.
The sudden, massive weight on the giant's shoulder elicited an immediate reaction. The "mountain" beneath Smaug's claws shifted slightly.
Oh, so you do move! Smaug thought with a spark of irritation. You were just ignoring the bird!
Wasting no time, Smaug reached into his storage and pulled out a massive, flawless purple amethyst. "I heard from an old neighbor that you folk enjoy a good snack. I scoured the deep places of Middle-earth to bring you this. A gift."
The words echoed like thunder in the foggy pass.
Craaack—rumble—grind.
Slowly, agonizingly, the giant turned its massive, craggy head to look at the dragon perched on its shoulder.
"A... drake... of... Mor... goth?" the giant spoke. Its voice was incredibly deep, a grinding of tectonic plates that vibrated in Smaug's chest. The words were slow and archaic. "I... thought... your... kind... had... all... died."
He speaks! "Not quite all of us. I'm doing just fine," Smaug grinned, holding out the amethyst in his massive claw. "Here. For you."
Grind... scrape...
The giant slowly pulled one of its massive arms free from the mountainside, reaching a hand the size of a tavern up toward Smaug. Smaug dropped the gem into the stony palm.
"A... fine... morsel," the giant rumbled. It didn't put the gem in a mouth; instead, it pressed the amethyst into the center of its rocky chest.
Smaug watched in fascination. The vibrant purple light of the gem began to dim, its color and essence slowly draining into the giant's body. After about five minutes, the gem turned into a dull, grey, crumbly rock.
So that's how they eat, Smaug marveled. He immediately pulled out a brilliant blue sapphire. "Here, have another."
In short order, the giant "consumed" four massive gemstones. It let out a long, rumbling exhalation that sounded like an avalanche. "Re... fresh... ing."
Smaug struck while the iron was hot. "Glad you liked it! I have a mountain full of these back home. Literally overflowing. You could move in and eat until you're full."
Stone Giants were simple creatures. They liked to sleep, they liked to fight, and they liked to eat. "Where... is... your... home?"
Bingo!
"The Lonely Mountain! Erebor!" Smaug replied. "Do you know it?"
"I... know... it," the giant affirmed.
"Would you be willing to relocate?" Smaug pressed.
The giant offered an answer Smaug hadn't anticipated. "That... requires... the... Queen's... permission."
"..." Smaug blinked. "You have a Queen? Is she here?"
"Yes."
"Where is she? I should pay my respects," Smaug said smoothly.
The giant slowly raised its arm, pointing a massive, rocky finger toward a peak further down the pass. Smaug looked and immediately spotted her.
Now that he knew what to look for, the differences were obvious. The Stone Giant Queen was slightly smaller, her features less jagged and craggy. More importantly, the peak she rested against was lush with evergreens and alpine flowers—a stark contrast to the barren grey rock of the others.
"Thank you. I'll go speak with her," Smaug said, preparing to take flight.
"Good," the giant replied calmly. "I... must... go... fight... now."
Smaug paused, utterly bewildered. Fight? Do these guys just wake up from a nap and immediately start throwing punches?
Before he could ask, the giant began to fully detach itself from the mountainside. The earth shook violently, rocks tumbling down into the pass below.
Smaug quickly took to the air to avoid being crushed. As he hovered in the fog, he watched as all seven of the Stone Giants—including the Queen—began to tear themselves free from the earth.
They're all awake, Smaug realized. It's time for the Thunder-Battle!