'Dang it!'
As I stood in the school gymnasium, I couldn't help but be slightly frustrated.
Today was a free day so me and a group of other students were playing basketball together.
Although, I wasn't doing as well as I wanted.
'My hand coordination still isn't good enough…what do I do?'
Like usual, my hand coordination wasn't good enough for offense.
Taking a few deep breaths, I realized what that meant.
'I need to change my approach.'
And so, I switched to defense, using my running to catch up with the other team's offense.
I couldn't do much.
But I could do something.
So that's what I did.
**
"Everyone! Let's go to war!" I announced boastrously.
"War? With who? And for what?" Nishimoya asked curiously.
"I'd also like to know why you want to go to war," Soriel added.
Tristan looked up from his book and made a confused look.
"What'd you say? I wasn't listening."
We were all at lunch and sitting at our usual table in the cafeteria.
Since the others hadn't been very energetic, I decided to joke around a bit.
"We need to go to war with cockroaches," I declared boldly.
Nishimoya nodded in agreement.
"Absolutely."
Soriel's face still remained with a confused expression.
"Why?" She asked.
"What do you mean why? They're cockroaches. They need to die."
"But aren't cockroaches important for ecosystems?"
Nishimoya nodded again and cut in.
"Yes, they are. I read that they…"
"Shh. She doesn't need to know that Nishimoya."
"See? They are important."
As Soriel, Nishimoya, and I debated, Tristan put down his book and shook his head in disapproval.
"This is the most pointless conversation you've ever had. Even if there's a point to going to war with roaches, how the hell would you even do that?" He reprimanded.
I shook my head in disappointment.
"You don't get it, Tristan. The 'how' isn't important. The pursuit of purging those disgusting little creatures, in itself, is the point."
Tristan just stared at me blankly.
"You're an idiot."
Shrugging helplessly, I smiled.
Despite the fact we were debating, I couldn't help but feel happy.
The school year was ending soon and moments like these were dwindling each day.
I had to enjoy every single second I had with my friends.
Freshman year would never happen again.
'Ah, it's going to happen soon.'
Like I said, the school year was ending. Meaning that the final report card of the year was coming.
A small but uncomfortable feeling sprouted in my stomach.
Even so, I had to continue having fun.
Time wouldn't stop for me to be unworried.
So at that moment, I chose to be in a good mood.
Because my friends deserved that.
**
Click!
Click!
Feeling the mouse beneath my palm, I dragged it around on the mousepad and clicked.
It was my last period and I had study hall. But since school was ending soon there wasn't anything to study for.
That's why I was playing games on the school computer.
'Dang it. I lost again.'
After another loss, I stretched and took a quick look around the room.
We were in the auditorium and it was filled with students. Some sitting on the floor, others sitting in seats, and some even stood regularly.
Although, none of my friends had study hall with me so I was all alone.
Unfortunately, that gave me the space to worry a bit.
'Will my grades be good enough?'
The report card coming up was the last one of freshman year. It was the culmination and finalization of all the work I had done.
I had been studying and running and studying some more.
Even though I did all that, I still didn't know I'd reach my goal.
Could I really surpass the geniuses known as my classmates?
And if I didn't, what would I do?
"Man, this is killing me," I muttered.
I began to tap my foot against the ground repeatedly in anticipation.
"Everyone! I'll be passing out your report cards now!" Mr Bostav, who was moderating study hall this week, declared.
One by one, he began to pass report cards from student to student.
With every report card handed out, a sickening feeling grows inside.
Glancing at a few of the students, I noticed reactions varied.
Some sad, some happy.
'What face will I make?'
Eventually, Mr. Bostav reached me, handing me a paper.
I grasped it with a chaotic mess of emotion.
Then, I began to read.
'Math…99%. Phys Ed…100%.'
Going down the list of each class, my heart raced.
I had worked tirelessly for this very moment.
So that I could gaze upon that very paper.
Fighting the urge to get too excited, I resisted the urge to smile.
And finally, at the very bottom of the paper, I could see my average and ranking.
Out of the many freshmen in the prestigious Laxus Flare academy…
Out of the multitudes of different prodigies and refined talent…
Out of the competitive and hardworking individuals I worked alongside for the past few months…
'I guess you can't win everything. But this time, I did win.'
I was ranked number 1, with a GPA of 3.96.
**
"Great job! I'm so proud of you!" Soriel exclaimed.
I sat on the floor of the music room while she sat on her piano stool.
Both of our faces had large, joyful smiles spread across them.
"Thank you. I really can't believe it myself," I replied with a laugh.
My hard work had paid off. I was free.
"I knew you could do it. And I'm sure deep down, you knew you could too."
Soriel's comment made my smile grow even wider.
It was kind of frightening, because I was smiling so much it was starting to hurt.
"Ooh, let me play a song for you."
Placing her hands on the piano keys, Soriel began to play.
She had now become even better than before she was unable to play.
The melody was fast, exciting, and upbeat.
Still, a tenderness remained in each and every note.
It made my heart lighten, freed from all weight.
As she played, sunshine poured in through the window, illuminating her golden blonde hair.
'She's truly beautiful.'
Eventually, she stopped playing and we both just relaxed.
I relaxed in my joy and she relaxed in mine as well.
But then, she broke the silence.
"Elliot…do you still hate yourself?"
Her question startled me, even though she asked it so softly.
I couldn't help but let out a sigh.
"Yeah. Definitely."
My self loathing had been something that piled up for years, it wouldn't disappear just like that.
"But…I think I can like myself just a tiny bit more now."
Soriel just smiled.
"That's okay. After all, I'll just have to love you enough for the both of us."
When those words were uttered, the room went silent.
'Love me?'
Those words had to just be platonic, they couldn't have been anything else.
But if that's true, why was her face so red?
"I…uh…"
Realizing what she said, Soriel took on a face of embarrassment I had never seen before.
She abruptly got up from her stool and picked up her bag and began running for the door.
"Um, I have to go! I'll see you later!"
Then, she left, leaving me alone.
Alone with only one thought.
'What just happened?'