Chapter 53: Is This Tailed Beast... Not Quite Right?
"Since everyone is here... well then, Uchiha Sasukevs. Gaara, start now!"
As Shiranui Genma's hand dropped, the cheers the entire audience had been waiting for instantly erupted.
Uchiha Sasuke still maintained his arrogant demeanor, wearing a black one-piece outfit. Having clearly undergone special training this month, the pressure from his Chakra had become quite oppressive. Opposite him, Gaara stood with his arms crossed, a massive sand gourd on his back, the dark circles under his eyes making him look like a panda that hadn't slept in days.
Uzumaki Naruto, up in the stands, couldn't muster much interest. He waved a pair of binoculars he'd swiped from somewhere over Sasuke for a moment before boredly moving them away.
[Tsk, Two-Pillar and his 'Posturing Style.' Clearly hasn't been seen for a month, yet he insists on making a grand entrance at the very last second. He's just got a slightly better-looking face; if I wore that all-black outfit, I'd definitely look more like the protagonist than him.]
[But then again, that panda-eyed guy... though he looks dangerous, his looks are a bit too rough.]
Naruto's inner thoughts echoed like background music in the minds of the several female Ninjas who were in the know.
Down below, Sakura Haruno's lip twitched, her previous worry for Sasuke vanishing instantly. She instinctively looked at Ino beside her, and the two exchanged a helpless look: Was this guy really comparing looks at a time like this?
Just then, the situation on the field suddenly changed.
"Chidori!"
A piercing lightning light condensed in Sasuke's hand. His speed was astonishingly fast, piercing through Gaara's sand shield in an instant.
*Squelch.*
Blood splattered. Gaara's shoulder was pierced; this boy, who had never been injured before, let out a blood-curdling scream for the first time.
"Blood... it's my blood..."
A cold and brutal Chakra suddenly exploded from Gaara's wound. One of his arms swelled and deformed, turning into a massive beast claw composed of yellow sand.
The roar of a monster echoed throughout the arena.
Partial transformation! The power of the IchibiShukaku was spiraling out of control!
The civilians in the audience screamed in terror, and many Ninjas frowned.
However, Naruto's focus had once again veered off track.
Leaning over the railing, he had somehow produced a handful of melon seeds and was cracking them while critiquing the mutating monster.
[Whoa, that look... is it a raccoon dog? It doesn't look cute at all.]
Naruto's inner thoughts were filled with disappointment.
[That sand skin looks so rough, and that belly... not only is it not cute, it's actually a bit greasy. This thing is the legendary Ichibi?]
Naruto even let out a regretful sigh.
[Sigh, if only the monster inside Gaara could have a more creative design.]
[For example, turning into a hot 'Desert Witch'? Just think about it, the coarse yellow sand turning into form-fitting quicksand armor, like a bikini covering only the vital spots...]
[And then that violent aura could turn into a cold and elegant mature older sister type voice, holding a small leather whip, shouting 'I'm going to kill you' while trying to strangle me with quicksand thighs...]
[If it were like that, even if it went berserk, I'd be willing to rush up and give it a big hug of love!]
*Boom!*
Far off at the other end of the audience stands, the Anbu Anko Mitarashi stumbled, nearly tumbling off the roof.
"This guy..." Anko pressed her throbbing temples, teeth gritted, "He can actually get turned on by a monster like that? What on earth is inside his head?"
Meanwhile, deep within the sealed space inside Naruto's body.
The Nine-Tailed, who had been sleeping with its head on its paws, suddenly snapped its eyes open, its red fur standing on end.
It... it actually felt like that brat made a tiny bit of sense just now?
Compared to being treated as a Chakra battery or a disaster-bringing monster, if it were treated by that brat as some "mature older sister in leather"... Blegh.
The Nine-Tailed dry-heaved, a very human-like twisted expression appearing on its massive fox face, clearly disgusted.
"Damn brat! To project those kinds of thoughts onto a Tailed Beast!"
[Ding!]
A crisp notification sound rang in Naruto's mind.
[Congratulations, host! With your world-shaking 'Everything Can Be Moe-fied' fetish, you have successfully generated a highly constructive (insulting) cross-species conquest intent toward 'Ichibi Shukaku.']
[This system is deeply shocked by the courage it takes to even target a Tailed Beast.]
[Reward issued: Sand Style Resistance +30% (When facing a sandstorm now, not only will your eyes not get irritated, you will even feel it is like a caress from nature).]
"Heh? That works too?"
Naruto's eyes lit up. Tossing aside his melon seed shells, he began to size up the monster below even more shamelessly. The caution in his eyes was gone, replaced by a look as if he were watching a shy older sister who hadn't finished getting dressed.
Although Gaara down below couldn't hear the inner thoughts, his beastly instincts sent a chill down his spine. His swelling half-body shuddered, and a strange urge to run away suddenly mixed into his killing intent.
Just as the atmosphere turned bizarre.
In a dark corner of the audience stands, Yakushi Kabuto pushed up his glasses and gave a cold laugh.
His hands quickly formed seals in a very hidden motion.
"Temple of Nirvana Technique!"
Suddenly, many white feathers appeared in the sky, falling across the entire venue like snow. These feathers were actually a powerful Genjutsu that could put people into a deep sleep.
The audience members who were just shouting in surprise suddenly grew dazed, falling into their seats one by one.
"Hmm? These feathers..."
Naruto looked at a feather landing on the tip of his nose, his mind still occupied with designing a new look for Shukaku.
[What kind of special effect is this? Who's scattering chicken feathers in the arena? Is it to create a romantic atmosphere so it's easier for me to go on a blind date with 'Miss Shukaku' later?]
[If so, the organizers are quite thoughtful. This soft feeling is just right for... eh? Why is everyone falling asleep?]
The heavenly curtain broadcasted this thought in real-time.
The women of the "Goddess Alliance," whose eyelids were also feeling heavy, were jolted awake as if splashed with cold water after hearing Naruto's absurd "blind date atmosphere" comment.
"Release!"
"Release!"
From various corners of the audience stands, several sharp shouts rang out almost simultaneously.
Sakura formed a one-handed seal, her eyes instantly clearing. She even had time to glance back toward Naruto's direction, thinking: [Blind date? That's a Genjutsu, you idiot! Can your perverted mind really purify your spirit?]
Anko-sensei yanked down the collar at her mouth and pulled a Kunai from her thigh, her gaze cold: [It's finally starting... thanks to that idiot, this Genjutsu didn't achieve any surprise effect at all.]
Ino, meanwhile, pinched Choji and Shikamaruawake from their snoring, her eyes sparkling with excitement: [Time to work! For that idiot's 'reward'... no, for Konoha!]
In the middle of the arena, an explosion suddenly rang out.
A massive Three-Headed Snake summon crashed through the walls, and the Ninjas from Sunagakureand Otogakure tore off their disguises.
The Konoha Crush plan officially began, right as Naruto was still looking bewildered, wondering whether or not Shukaku should wear a bikini.