"Scary Monsters! The World! Time, stop! 5 seconds!"
At 4 p.m., Diego was engaged in a smokeless war alongside a crowd of housewives, all waiting for the promotional eggs to be put on the shelves.
"Hahahahahaha, muda da muda! I win! The discounted eggs are mine, Dio's!" Amid the resentful glares of the group of aunties, Diego held up three packs of eggs and declared his victory.
Time rewinds to 3 p.m. at the Hori household.
"Didn't the supermarket flyer you were looking at last night say there's an egg promotion this afternoon? Is it still possible to make it if we go now?"
"It's fine. As long as it doesn't suddenly rain and I have to bring in the laundry, I can snag those eggs." Hori gave a faint smile, rolled up her sleeves, and naturally assumed a capable pose.
However, the originally bright and sunny weather suddenly turned from clear to overcast. Dark clouds gathered together, giving every indication of rain.
Hori lowered her head, dejectedly covering her eyes with her hands, unwilling to accept the outcome.
"Why… of all times… But… I won't give up!! Please, Dio, go to the supermarket and grab the eggs for me. I'll go bring in the laundry right now!"
Beside her, Diego—who had been cosplaying as Teacher Tom, slapping his thigh and laughing heartily—suddenly lost all his energy and bravado. If only he had known that schadenfreude would come back to bite him…
"Eh—?! You want me to go buy them?!"
"Yes. When you come back, I'll make you an omurice…"
Bang! The sound of the door slamming shut rang out.
Diego was no longer present in any corner of the room.
Time cuts back to the present.
"Ah! It's Dio! I finally found you!" The Shimokitazawa Archangel made a dazzling entrance, arms full of groceries.
"Huh?! It's Nijika. Ah, I remember now—I don't have your contact info. Things have been pretty busy lately, so I haven't gone to STARRY." Diego slapped his forehead, then casually took the groceries from Nijika's arms. "You've been practicing properly using the method I taught you, right?"
"Hehe! Of course. I saw you on TV, Dio—you're so amazing! SBR Competition champion!" Nijika gave a sweet smile. "But you have to come today, okay? We haven't even held the first performance meeting because you weren't there."
"Got it. Give me your phone—let's add each other on LINE. Next time something comes up, just contact me." Diego took out the phone provided by the SPW Foundation, added Nijika as a friend, and was pulled into the Kessoku Band group chat by her.
Nijika: Dio joined the group! Everyone welcome him quick!
Bocchi-chan: (clap) (clap)
Nijika: Wow! Bocchi-chan replied so fast!
Diego: You weren't just holding your phone waiting for messages this whole time, were you?
Bocchi-chan: ?! Mind reading!
Diego: Where's Ryo? I was planning to send a red envelope. She's not here? You guys better grab it quick—first come, first served.
The red envelope you sent was snatched in 1 second. Yamada Ryo is the luck king.
Diego: ?
Yamada Ryo: I saw a red envelope here and thought no one wanted it.
Diego: 666, nice one. Salted bean, no more salt.
Nijika: Alright alright, we finally found Dio. So this afternoon we're holding the first newbie welcome + reflection meeting!
Nijika: Bocchi-chan has to come, no faking sick.
Bocchi-chan: …Yes.
…
—Shimokitazawa STARRY Performance Hall—
At the entrance of the performance hall, Goto Hitori was endlessly hesitating about whether to go in, pacing frantically in circles on the spot.
"Five more minutes. Just five more minutes and I'll definitely go in. Ah… maybe ten minutes, fifteen minutes… No way, someone like me going in will definitely get called a country bumpkin."
Up on the steps, the Ryo Beggar-Cracker was observing and analyzing this piece of human performance art.
"Ryo, what are you doing?" Nijika led Diego up behind Ryo.
"Shh!" Ryo raised a finger to her lips with a long hush, signaling silence, then pointed down at Goto Hitori still spinning in circles.
Diego glanced over and asked, "What is this? Some mysterious summoning ritual?"
"No idea, but it's really interesting. I've already watched for five minutes. Don't disturb her—let's see how long she can spin."
"What are you doing, Bocchi-chan—hurry up and go in already—!!"
Thwack!
A hand chop landed on Ryo's head, and a wild oversized Ijichi Nijika appeared.
"Man… Manager…"
"No teasing people. Get inside!"
"Yes…"
Ryo clutched her head with a wronged expression and went in with Bocchi-chan.
"You're…? The handsome guy who came to watch Nijika perform before… Why are you two together?"
"I'm the manager she found?"
"Hah?! The band members aren't even all here yet and you're already looking for a manager?"
"Although I said manager, I'm really just a friend who can offer a bit of help."
Ijichi Seika glared angrily at Nijika. Nijika poked her own fingers, not daring to meet Seika's eyes, gave an "ehehe," and ran inside too.
Ijichi Seika sighed. "Seriously, I don't know who this kid learned that from."
She then turned to look at Diego, who was carrying the groceries.
"…Yeah, I'll head back tonight. The eggs are already bought." Diego was lowering his head, messaging Hori on LINE.
(Hori: So Dio actually has friends?)
"You're really not Nijika's boyfriend, right? I forbid managers from pulling any casting-couch stuff with band members." Ijichi Seika stared at Diego with scrutinizing eyes.
"No, you can rest assured on that. When Dio gets a girlfriend, I won't hide her—I'll show her off proudly for everyone to see." Diego answered while following her into STARRY Performance Hall. "Love isn't something private. What I want is for everyone to know."
Ijichi Seika was left standing alone, pondering. A top-tier handsome guy like this doesn't have a girlfriend… Maybe I could make a move?
…
—Inside the performance hall—
"Alright! First meeting of Kessoku Band, commencing." Nijika clapped her hands, raised one finger, and gave scattered applause. "Pachi pachi pachi pachi."
Ryo and Goto Hitori played along from the side, while Diego went to the front counter to grab a bottle of Coca-Cola and some snacks, quietly munching away.
"Ugh, Dio, can you at least give some reaction? I don't even know what to say when it's this dead."
"Hm? Mm! Mmm mmm mmm mmm…" Diego, mouth stuffed full of cookies, made incomprehensible noises.
"At least finish eating the snacks before talking." Nijika had a dark line down her face. "But now that I think about it, we're actually not that close yet… I don't really know what to talk about either…"
"By the way (munch munch munch) I remember (munch munch munch) our band (munch munch munch) has a manager, right? Just let him warm things up (munch munch munch)."
?
All three stared at Diego.
"So shameless…" Bocchi-chan muttered quietly from the side.
Ryo pulled out a miraculous wonderful tool from under the table and raised a die printed with a bungee jumper. "To prevent situations like this, I made this."
"Feels like something incredible is about to happen…"
"Nice! Let's roll it then!" Nijika took the die and tossed it on the ground, chanting an ominous spell. "What will it be? What will it be? Dum dum dum dum."
"Ah, it's school topics. In short—school talk." Nijika held up the die and casually dropped a pun.
"Alright, go ahead." Ryo and Nijika looked toward Goto Hitori and Diego.
"Ah… Come to think of it, both of you are second-year students at Shuchiin Academy, right, senpai?"
"That's right. Bocchi-chan got into Shuchiin through the arts exam too. She's really amazing."
"No way, hehe~"
Wow… She folded instantly. So easy to handle!
Nijika blinked expectantly at Diego.
"What about you, Dio? How long has it been since you graduated?"
"I haven't graduated."
"Uh… Senior year?"
"Nope. First-year freshman. Otherwise why would I join the SBR Competition? You think I just had nothing to do and wanted to test the limits of humanity?"
"First-year freshman… Eh?! First-year!! That means…"
"You're our kouhai!" ×2
Nijika stared at Diego's 195 cm muscular build in deep thought. Because he felt so safe and reliable, she had subconsciously assumed Dio was older than her.
"Yosh! Call me Ryo-senpai, little Dio-kun."
"Eh? No way. You're too shady. I feel like you're up to no good."
"How mean! I'm mad now!"
Seeing the conversation veering further off track, Ijichi Nijika hurriedly mediated and changed the subject. "Okay, school talk ends here~~"
Nijika raised the die again. "Next up—favorite music topics! Abbreviated as…"
"Music talk." Ryo chimed in perfectly, matching her rhythm.
The Miracle Crisp Lady spoke: "I prefer melodic hardcore and Japanese punk songs."
The Ryo Beggar-Cracker spoke: "I'm into electronic music. Lately the Arab playlist charts have been…"
"That's definitely a lie!"
"It's true…"
The Little Golden Retriever spoke: "As long as it matches my brainwaves, it's a good song."
The Pink Paramecium spoke: "As long as it doesn't trigger my youthful inferiority complex, anything's fine…"
And instantly shut down, muttering to herself in some unknown language, apparently complaining that the band member she likes—who specializes in attacking youth—is a super extroverted normie.
"Bocchi-chan! Please pull yourself together, don't retreat into your own world again~"
Bocchi-chan's brain failed to respond. Boot sequence unsuccessful.
Diego stared somewhat blankly at Goto Hitori, his thoughts drifting back to the past.
…
"Just now, blocking that monster's vine attack with my Freeze God Sword was so cool, hehe~" Mabel covered her mouth, happily showing off her achievement on the carriage.
Sui had a dark line down her face and retorted, "No, if Frieren hadn't hit the man-eater flower's core with her next attack, it would've sucked you dry."
"Having an experienced mage around is really reassuring!" Alicia sighed in admiration while skillfully casting healing magic on everyone.
"Don't call me an old mage…" Frieren hugged her knees and muttered gloomily.
"I-I'm very sorry, Miss Frieren! I… I only meant to praise how strong your magical aptitude is… much stronger than mine…" Alicia broke character in a second, flailing to explain.
"Yeah, no matter what, calling someone an old mage is going too far—even if it's true." Diego, enjoying the show and fanning the flames, teased her.
"I still remember you calling me an old hag at first… asking how long I've lived and complaining about my age." Frieren =_= muttered gloomily again.
"Eh? That was forever ago! Kono Dio was wrong, okay? Don't look at me with that face!"
"Enough. I'm going to rest. Wake me when we reach Oisast." Frieren promptly lay down on Sui's lap beside her.
"Jeez…"
Looking at the sky blocked by Sui, Frieren fell into thought, then turned around and lay on Alicia's lap instead.
"Ah… Miss Frieren…"
Seeing the sky blocked again, Frieren fell into thought once more.
She sat up and looked toward Mabel. Mabel was curled up like a cat on Diego's lap, enjoying his head pats, though the rise and fall of her chest was still plainly visible.
Sui: Dio's lap pillow… ꐦ≖ ≖
"…Never mind… We're all eating the same food… We're all elves…" Frieren sat up, squatted in the corner of the carriage, and started drawing circles, sinking into depression.
"Come back to us, Frieren, please. Don't abandon us for utopia." Diego clutched his head and let out a pained wail from the side.
"WRYYYYYYYYYY—!!"