"So..." She continued either way, not waiting for me to feign surprise. "Are you gonna participate in the tryouts?"
"I guess so?" The words came out bland. "I mean, you didn't mention that I didn't need a specific reason anyway, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but I know you probably have a specific reason why you're participating." She leaned closer to me. "Spill it."
"But I'm serious." I insisted either way. "There's no important reason why I'm participating—"
BUZZ! My cellphone vibrated rigorously in my pocket. I pulled it out and glanced at the caller. Aunt Lynn. She was the kind of person who'd barely ever wondered if I was actually alive or missing. And just seeing her call was enough information already.
She was about to vent.
"Hi, Lynn." I slid the call receive button, issuing a wide smile as if she could actually see it through a voice call. "What's up?"
"I'll tell you what's up!" She started, her tone hyper. "I just got a message from the BHA that your application was approved." She said that last part with already built-up anger that was about to explode. "Did you do this, Ren?"
"Actually..."
"We had an agreement, didn't we?"
"Look, I was just playing around," I said, hands raised to the air in surrender. "I didn't actually think I would be approved."
"Well, you did!" Her voice was now overhead, loud enough for Aria to catch on. "Well, that doesn't matter anyway." She heaved a long sigh. "You're declining, right?"
"Um.. about that.."
"Ren!" Her words flushed out with the tone of someone who'd had just enough of me. "You need to come home. Right fucking now."
The beep came just before I could argue any further. Aunt Lynn. Her reason hadn't always been mysterious— at least, a few times, they weren't. The last thing I'd always heard her say about the Bureau was how my father used to work with them until his passing.
She was my late father's sister. And she knew almost nothing about my mom except the theory that she left me in the world when my father died. And of course, I was too little to have a memory of her— Aunt Lynn pretty much sculptured that for me.
Even down to the part that the Bureau was a dangerous place to belong to. Apparently, it seemed to have worked when she told me about my mom. A hold back. Sudden disinterest.
But now, I was only more curious. Especially now that things were starting to link up to one another. The system. Paula, and my dad. It was one possible thing that he might've died on service, but I'd done my digging years ago, and there was no such thing.
The records explained that he'd died from some terminal disease that wasn't specified. And that had happened while he was on patrol duty. I wanted to call it a misunderstanding from Aunt Lynn, but she wouldn't have been so hellbent against them if she knew my dad had a terminal disease.
I never asked.
"I have to go now." I looked up at Aria, then rose from my seat. "It's urgent."
"Yeah, I figured." She stood alongside, clearing the dishes from the table. "I'll tell Cauli you left."
I nodded, still trying to believe the fact that we'd both just come to one understanding. I was starting to head towards the door when something clicked. Then I stopped.
"Hey, Aria," I called out to her before she could walk into the kitchen.
"Hm?"
For a moment there, I just stood there like a frozen meal, still trying to remember what I was about to say. Nothing came.
"Um.. never mind."
***
"What do you mean you're trying out for the BHA?"
The one word that defined Aunt Lynn at that moment was perplexed. Angry grey eyes. Dark hair soaked with beads of sweat. Feet seemed like they'd been pacing around the room for the past hour and a half.
Her arms were folded as she looked at me. The same way she'd always done since I was seven— ever since I first showed interest in the Bureau. Back then, I could still see her trying to calm herself down by assuring me that I needed to awaken first if I wanted to become a hunter.
Turns out that she'd never expected me to awaken.
"Well, I can't just throw this away, can I?" I asked her. "We both know I've always wanted this, even if you'd always—"
"How many times do I have to let you know, Ren?" She started. "What you say you want is dangerous. Why would you want to put yourself in the same situation that got your dad killed?" Then a pause, followed by a sigh. "You're a cripple, how are you gonna even hold up when things go south?"
Lynn was family. But I hadn't exactly expected her to trust me to handle things. To her, I was the same kid she'd always had to look after since I was little. The same cripple who— against the world— was too weak.
"I awakened."
Aunt Lynn's expression was more shocked than proud. Like my words had just spiked something deep in her heart rate, something worth being overconcerned about.
"What... What did you just say?" She muttered. "What do you mean you awakened?"
"I have an ability now, Aunt Lynn," I said, ignoring her current state of shock. "So, you shouldn't worry about me getting hurt. I can protect myself."
"Ren..." Her words slowed. "You can't awaken. You shouldn't."
"What?" I gave her a questioning look. "Why?"
"Because I made sure of that." Her eyes were no longer looking at me. They seemed lost and teary. "I made sure..."
She lost balance for a second, dropping down on the couch. Her hand grabbed the chair rest, as if seeking both physical and mental purchase. I hadn't exactly been collected myself. I had questions about her last statement.
"What are you talking about?" I sat on the couch nearest to her. "You made me powerless?"
By now, tears were streaming down her face. And I had all the reason to question her for that, but I waited. She sniffed in, wiping her eyes with the back of her palm.
"When you were just three, your dad brought you and your mom to live here." Her voice wavered as she spoke. "He said he had an important mission to attend to, he called it a classified mission. And when he promised to be back to take both of you, I saw that look in his eyes— like he was living his very last moment with us."
She paused for a second, as if the images had come to her remembrance. Then she continued;
"And even though I knew that having you two live with me was going to affect my rent significantly, he still made me promise to protect you." She laughed. A short one. "And just before he left, he gave me a formula— he told me to put you on dosage for a full month... because apparently, your mom didn't have the heart to do it."
"What was in that formula?"
Her eyes met mine. "An ability dampener."
The silence sat for a while.
An ability dampener. I honestly hadn't heard such a term before, but it was easy to guess that it was a formula that stopped abilities from working. She'd used it against me, made me a cripple. Made me a victim of everything bad...
"Why?" My fists clenched. "Just... Why?"
"I'm sorry Ren." Aunt Lynn batted her sorry eyes at me. "Your father was only trying to protect you. He didn't want you to be hurt."
"And how has that worked out?" The frown lines appeared on my face. "I just had to go through hell. I just had to be the one kicked and punched, and because of what? Because you guys wanted to protect me?"
"Ren, I—"
"You guys did nothing!" I stood and yelled at her. "While you sat in here all day and thought everything was fine, I was out there, trying to survive the lowly life I was living. And you call that protection?"
Whatever she had to say after that, I didn't wait for it. I just marched straight to my room, aggressively slamming the door behind me. My back pressed against the door, and I slid down until I was squatting.
"Fuck all these!" I groaned inwardly, palming my face with my hands. "Fuck it!"
[Domain replacement in 00:10]
My eyes batted at the system with the genuine expression of someone who was in the middle of a bad hair day but could only helplessly watch it all happen. Anger— apparently— was just one of the multiple things I felt at that moment.
[...5...]
[...4...]
[...3...]
[...2...]
[...1...]
Fuck this system.