...
After leaving the park, I head straight home.
Along the way, I do think about that offer for a moment.
It feels like it could've changed this boring routine of mine… I do regret it a little.
But it is what it is. I already turned it down.
-
It doesn't take long for me to arrive home. I open the door and step inside.
"I'm home."
I say it, but no response comes from within.
"Yeah… Dad's probably not back yet."
I mutter to myself as I walk toward my room.
Once inside, I toss my bag somewhere carelessly and hang up my guitar case.
Then I drop myself onto the bed.
"Ah… I'm exhausted…"
I close my eyes—only to realize I'm not sleepy at all.
"Well, I did spend most of my time at school sleeping… so I guess that's normal…"
With no way to fall asleep, time feels like it drags on forever.
Especially since I don't have much to do.
I sit up and look around my room.
There's nothing here that could relieve this boredom.
Games? I'm not in the mood.
Reading? I don't have many good books.
Anything else? I'm too lazy for that.
That makes me ask myself—
"What do I actually want to do?"
Or at least… what do I want to do right now?
It's not like I have a job either.
Then my gaze shifts to the guitar case hanging there.
Maybe playing music—
—no, wait. Actually, I have a better idea.
What if I upload a video to YouTube?
Maybe that way, I can share the songs I like with other people.
Well… not that I know if anyone will watch it.
But that doesn't matter.
My goal isn't popularity. I'm doing it simply because I want to.
Nothing more. Just that.
Because if my reason were something like chasing popularity, it would feel like I'm disrespecting the original artist.
And I don't want that.
Respect—that's what matters.
So without wasting time, I grab my phone, open YouTube, and create my own channel.
"…What should I even name it?"
Thinking of a name is one of the hardest things—even for me.
"…Wait, actually, using my own name—Hiromu—might be good."
I mutter to myself.
Especially since my favorite musician is Akita Hiromu…
It's not that different from my own name.
So as a form of respect, I might as well use it.
I could even add "-san" at the end to make it sound more respectful. Yeah… that sounds good.
Then I set up a decent profile picture and write a short description.
-
A little while later.
"Done."
I finally created a channel.
Yeah… this looks good.
I think to myself as I stare at the screen.
"Now I just need a video."
I stand up, take down the guitar case, and place it on the bed.
Then I walk over to my closet and take out a cap.
"I guess wearing something like this is fine."
Alright… I should be ready.
Before that, I need to set things up first.
I pull a chair from my desk, place my phone on it in recording mode, and prop it up with a box so it doesn't fall.
Then I take the guitar out and hold it in my hands.
What song should I play…?
Something simple, maybe. I don't want to strain my voice by singing too loudly.
I think for a moment… until a song comes to mind.
"Boku ga Shinou to Omotta no wa."
Or "The Reason I Wanted to Die."
Some people might know it from Mika Nakashima…
But it was actually written by Akita Hiromu.
So technically, it's also an amazarashi song.
That's why I like it.
Especially because it felt so heavy the first time I heard it.
Alright… I'll go with this one.
"One, two… one, two, three."
I mutter softly.
Then I start strumming my guitar, forming the melody—the opening of the song.
If I had to say… it sounds pretty good to me.
"Boku ga shinou to omotta no wa~~"
I begin to sing.
From the lyrics alone, you can already tell what kind of song it is.
-
"Anata no yō na~~ hito ga ikiteru sekai ni sukoshi kitai suru yo~~"
(And if people like you exist in this world… maybe it's okay to have a little hope.)
And just like that, the song comes to an end, and the sound of the guitar fades from the room.
Honestly… I feel a bit emotional after singing it.
When I first heard this song, I didn't really understand Japanese.
But now that I've become Japanese myself… I understand it completely.
And maybe that's why I like songs like this.
Because it's rare for something to stir my emotions.
Maybe… I just want to feel something.
-
After that, I stop recording and watch the video for a while.
Then I trim a few parts so that only the performance remains.
Not long after, I finally finish editing it.
Without hesitation, I upload it to YouTube.
Don't forget the hashtags.
As for the title, I simply use "Boku ga Shinou to Omotta no wa."
No description.
Then I upload it and wait for a while until it finishes.
After that, I watch it a few times—until I feel satisfied.
"Ah… I didn't expect this to be kind of fun."
I mutter, a small smile forming on my face.
Then I place my phone on the table and leave my room, heading to the kitchen to make instant noodles.
-
After eating, I return to my room, pick up my phone from the table, and open YouTube.
I check my video.
Still no views.
Well… it's not like this is my first time doing something like this.
I already know it's not that easy.
I place my phone back on the table and collapse onto the bed.
Then I try to force myself to sleep.
"…"
"…"
After a few minutes…
I finally fall asleep.
...