I have no interest in any more trouble.
Shall we kill it?
Never seen anyone like this before.
What is he, anyway?
Beats me. A bestia, by the looks of it.
Bestia!
Bestia!
Bestia!
Bestia!
—I didn't understand what they were saying about me. All I could pick out was the word "bestia." The humans brought sticks and fishing poles with which they poke and prodded me. At first, they probably meant only to chase me out. But before long… their actions began to escalate.
Bestia!
Bestia!
Filthy beast!
We ain't got nothin' for you!
Dirty, nasty thing!
Stay back!
Hit it! Pound it!
Bahahaha! He's feelin' it!
Beat it! Beat the thing!
Kill it! Kill it!
Kill it, kill it, kill it!
DIE!
—Why… Why should I have to die? I was simply asking for help. If they didn't have food to spare, a glass of water would have been enough. I asked for nothing of them but some relief from my thirst. But the humans would not hear my pleas. My words reached no one's ears. When they brought weapons and started chasing me around, attempting to kill me, all I could do anymore was run. And as I fled, I saw something–a child pointing to a wild dog covered in mud and shouting "bestia!" That was when I finally understood… that I was a beast. And that was why the humans wanted to exterminate me. I was neither cattle, nor swine, nor fowl of the air, but a vicious beast–the kind of creature that ravaged their fields. And so…
—You sought… to prove your superiority to them… so you would never have to be called a beast or chased out of somewhere again.
—I was so close… to forgetting it all. The time I spent with you was truly wonderful. I could forget about people calling me a beast, chasing me around and trying to kill me… I could forget about slaughtering them, painting the walls with their blood… I could forget about everything… It felt like I had actually become a man.
—But you…
—But then it showed up. Another beast, like me. It was… my kin. A different individual, though, built differently than me. I am taller than it was. But it was a beast… And I too… must be a beast…
—Regardless. I will continue to insist you are not, as many times as I must. Should you be troubled by these painful memories and attempt to cause someone harm again, I will be there to remind you of your humanity. Is that which you can see with your eyes… the whole of the world? I cannot see you, that is correct. But I can feel you, sense you, hear you, and I can learn what you bear within your heart.—She smiled at him.—You worry, you fear, and you think. And you also show concern for me. These things all prove that you are human.
—Ahhh…
"This woman… She really is going to change me. If I remain with her… I can become a man. It might be no more than an illusion… but with her near, it can become my reality."
—Have you calmed yourself down some?
—The hall… needs to be cleaned.
—...So it does.—Her smile disappeared.
—I'll take care of it. You don't need to worry. You should get changed, though.
—Very well. I believe I care so much for you–
—...?
—–because you resemble me.
—We are not alike in the slightest. As I've said… you are a beautiful woman.
—You may compliment my appearance… but no one else ever did. I have been labeled a witch… because of the color of my eyes and hair. My eyes… they're red.
—A beautiful shade of red, indeed.
"A magnificent color, like blood."
—You're the first person, hehe, to say that about them.—She smiled for a moment, but then her appearance disappeared.—Even my mother said my eyes frightened her. Because people called me a witch, I was rarely afforded the opportunity to interact with others, so I grew up mostly alone. As the people outside this mansion called you a beast… so too do the people outside call me a witch.—Her smile returned again.—See? We are alike. Do I look like a witch to you?
—No… You… You are a beautiful, compassionate human woman.
—And you… are a human man, even if you don't believe it yourself.
Yet again, Bestia found himself feeling grateful for the White-Haired Girl's blindness…
for, while he had just managed to put on a smile, tears were also rolling down his cheeks.
Joy, bitterness, sorrow–a maelstrom of emotions flowed unbounded from within.
But he cried in silence.
Bestia shed his tears discreetly, so as to not allow the White-Haired Girl to notice.
He looked down upon the floor.
A single corpse lay there.
And no matter how hard he tried, he could not see it as anything other than a beast.
A beast that looked just like him.
…..
He came from a faraway land, across many ears.
There was never any guarantee
that we would see each other again.
But I still believed
that no matter how great the ocean that divided us
we were bound by our love.
The only thing that needed stand between us
was physical distance.
—Hahh, haah! I-I wonder if he's here yet. Um…
—Hello, my little nijntje. What has you so out of breath?
—Eeeek! O-Oh, don't scare me like that! And where did you pick up a word like "nijntje"? I never took you for someone so pretentious!
—Haha… I'm sorry. You just looked so much like a rabbit there, the way you were tossing your head back and forth, looking around for me.
—Oh, you… "Nijntje" is something you call a child. I'm not a little girl anymore.
—I'm sorry, really. Don't be so mad, Pauline.
—...Hehe. I'm not mad at all. It's… It's been a year and a half! We finally get to see each other again!
—That we do.
—Did you have any trouble out at sea? Did you fall ill, or get caught in a storm, or run into any kind of danger at all?
—No, there was no trouble. Everything went fine, without incident. The sea god was watching over us, I suppose.
—Thank goodness. I was so worried. But you kept your promise. You came back for me.
—And you kept yours and waited for me.
—Of course I did. I trust you, and… I don't mind waiting.
—Even so… eighteen months must have been a long time for you.
—It was.
—It felt long to me as well. Every day I would picture your face, recall the sound of your voice. But over time, I began to lose surety. It absolutely terrified me. Is that what you actually looked like? Is this truly the sound of your voice?
—You mean you almost forgot?—She looked clearly worried.
—Not at all, Pauline. I was afraid that, in my profound love for you, my mind had created its own imagine. That perhaps my adoration had grown so strong it had turned you into a transcendent beauty like Cleopatra herself.
—Y-You must have made some unseemly friends. You were never this much of a sweet-talker!—She didn't seem to be pleased.—I bet you're disappointed, though. Look at me, a homely woman you could find anywhere.
—Haha. For some reason, I find myself in a teasing mood. Please have mercy, or I am liable to lose your affection. When I'm trying to say… is that being here with the real you, putting my hands in yours, listening to you speak, and seeing you be… well, you, Pauline… is so much more wondrous than anything I imagined. And right now, I am feeling that stronger than ever.
—Ah… mnh, u-umm.—She was trying to mumble something, but then smiled.—Y-You seem to have found yourself a way with words. I imagine you had plenty of time to practice on other women. Goodness, you fiend.
—"Fiend"? That's not terribly convincing with your cheeks the color of wine.
—Th-They are not! God!
—H-Hey now, don't throw a fit…
—You're the only one… who can put me in such high spirits with a few simple words…
—Huh? Did you say something?
—Who, me? Noooo, not a thiiiing. Hehe. Say, since you're finally back, how about we take a walk around town? You've taken care of all your work for the time being, right? So you can… spare some time for me?
—Absolutely, Pauline. As much as time allows, I will spend it with you. As much… as time allows.
…..
There's s still no trace of him.
It's been a week, and I've found nothing. Considering my time limit, that needs to change fast.
But…
—Um, excuse me, have you seen this man? This is a drawing of what he looks like.
—Sorry, never seen him.
—Even the smallest piece of information helps. If you've heard about anyone who might have seen him–
—I said I haven't seen him, so I don't know what to tell you. I'm a busy woman. Would you mind moving aside?
—Ah… Sorry.
I was told that he–that my lover lost his life out on work.
But I don't believe it. They haven't shown me a body, so their information has to be in error.
I have to be the one to find him, to prove he's still alive. I have to follow his tracks.
I've heard word that remnants of his ship drifted ashore near this village.
So if he survived, he must be somewhere nearby.
I'm certain of it, but I haven't been able to find any information of the sort.
The villagers aren't being very cooperative; they're all just as reserved as the day I arrived.
Rather, I get the feeling they want to stay as far from trouble as they can. No matter what I ask, I can't get a straight answer from anyone.
Everyone's still closed off… because of the war, I guess.
"I don't have time for people to be glum, though…"
…..
—Ah…
"It's that boy. He's at the shore again. Always alone…"
—God have mercy, you again? What are you doing here?
"And always so callous."
—I came to get sentimental and watch the sun set.
—So original.
—What does it matter if I visit the seashore? The ocean doesn't belong to anyone. If I'm such a bother, then you're free to leave like last time.
—You sure are cheeky for an outsider. I know the rest of the village isn't being all that cooperative.
—Nope…
—That's what this place is like now–closed off. It is not kind to outsiders. You really going to be able to keep up the search with the entire town stonewalling you?
—Yes, I will. I won't give up, for any reason. I have to find him, to bring him home with me.
—Lady, your–
—My name isn't "lady," it's Pauline. Paul-ine.
—Lady, is–
—Pauline.
—Tch. Pauline, is this person you're looking for still alive?
—He is. He has to be.
—Is that so? Well, have fun with that. I doubt you're going to get any help, though.
—Ah.
"He really left."
—Don't lose heart, Pauline.—She told herself.—If you lose faith this easily, you'll never find him.
"He is alive… isn't he? He is alive… I have faith. I believe…
—Oh… I thought you left.—She noticed the boy again.
—Take it. You're ruining the scenery pacing around on the beach.
—Is this… an orange? They grow pretty large here, huh?
—Yeah, the oranges around these parts are pretty good. People used to come out here just to buy them, in fact.
—And you went to get one just for me?
—I just want to get rid of you. Once you've finished that, get lost, all right?
—Hehe… Thanks, I appreciate it! You're not so bad after all!
—Like I said… this isn't me being nice or anything.
—Oh, there you go again. Yeah, yeah, I've got you all figured out, little man. You're actually a very sweet boy! And you were really trying to cheer my up, weren't you?
—... Javi.
—What?
—My name. It's not "little man," it's Javi.
—All right, then. Javier it is.
—No, not Javier. Just Javi.
"I don't see what the big deal is, but okay."
—Say, Javi, I really think we should be friends.
—What?
—C'mon, let's be friends. Don't say you don't need any. You can make me Friend Number One! We'll have lots of fun.
—You just want to use me in your search, because you don't get the villagers to talk on your own.
—No, I mean it, really…
—You're wasting your time. I'm just as much trouble for them as you. Using me isn't going to get you anywhere.
—Trouble? What do you mean by that, Javi?
—Nothin' you need to know, lady. Bye. And stay away from the shore.
—Ah, hold– Hold on a second!
—What?
—Pauline.
—Whaa?
—My name isn't "lady," it's Pauline. Listen to me, Javi. I have no intention whatsoever of using you. I enjoy talking to you, and I think it'd be fun if I could do it more. That's why I want to be friends. I can find you here at the beach, right? I'll be back, Javi! You won't change my mind! I will make you my friend, Javi!
—Wh-What the hell, lady? Did you hear a word I said?! I don't need any damn friends! And stay away from the beach!
—Nnnnope, you will be my friend!
—A-Ain't happening!
—Wait, Javi! See you again! I'm not kidding, I will come back!
I had actually, at first, been thinking that it would be easier to get information if I could make friends with someone in the village.
But that orange Javi gave me when I was sad and lonely and hurting…
was so amazingly fresh and delicious.
More than any orange I've ever had before.
It was almost as though Javi's kindness was seeping directly into my mouth.
I'm sure we'll be able to get along.
I want to be his friend.
Time is the only thing moving forward in my search.
Some days, I would ask my mom's friend, Orlando, to accompany me on trips outside the village…
but no matter where I go, I just hear the same thing.
The view of the ocean always keeps me from getting too dejected.
It's an unimaginably huge chasm that keeps us apart, but at the same time, there's something beautiful about the way the sea encompasses the entire world.
The emerald expanse…
It simultaneously robs me of him and soothes my heart with its stunning brilliance.
Perhaps I feel such awe and admiration for it…
because I was born along the seaside.