The ride back home was quiet, but not the kind that felt peaceful. It pressed down on everything, like even thinking too loudly would break something fragile. I leaned my head against the window, watching the city pass by in a blur. People walked, cars moved, life continued like today hadn't happened—like three people hadn't just been buried. My fingers tightened slightly around my sleeve as the image of the casket crept back in, followed by Shenji's voice. I thought I had time. I shut my eyes for a second. That word again—time. It kept showing up like a reminder I didn't ask for.
"Amary," Uncle Chris said from the front seat, glancing at me through the mirror, "you did well today."
I didn't answer immediately. I wasn't even sure what "well" meant anymore. "I just showed up," I said eventually.
"That's more than enough," he replied.
Maybe he was right. Or maybe he was just trying to help. Either way, I didn't argue.
When we got home, I didn't go straight to my room. I stopped in the living room instead, just standing there for a moment. The house felt the same—quiet, still—but not as suffocating as before. Uncle Chris set his keys down and looked at me like he was waiting for something, and for once, I didn't avoid it.
"I'm… hungry," I said. The words felt unfamiliar, like I hadn't used them in a while.
He raised an eyebrow slightly but kept his tone casual.
"Yeah? I can make something."
"I'll help," I added.
That surprised him more, but he nodded. "Alright. Let's see what we've got."
The kitchen felt strange, like a place I used to know but hadn't visited in a long time. I opened a cabinet, then another, trying to remember where things were. "Plates are on your left," he said, almost carefully.
"I know," I muttered, even though I didn't. He chuckled, and we fell into a quiet rhythm. It wasn't awkward. Just… normal. And for the first time in a while, normal didn't feel so far away.
Later that night, I sat on my bed staring at the ceiling, the book beside me untouched. My mind kept drifting back to the funeral—Shenji, his speech, the way his voice almost broke. The regret in it felt too familiar. At least he got one chance to talk to Sanchi. One moment. One conversation. I turned to my side, staring at the wall. "I got more than that that," I whispered.
Then my thoughts shifted. School. Uncle Chris's voice echoed in my head—Chrome's or Hilton? I sat up slowly. Sanchi wanted to go to Chrome's. If I stayed here, I'd stay stuck in the same room, the same thoughts, the same memories replaying over and over again. I exhaled and made the decision before I could overthink it. "I'm going to Hilton's," I said out loud. It felt firm. Real. Like something I could actually move toward.
The next morning felt… lighter. Not by much, but enough. I got out of bed earlier than usual and opened the curtains, squinting as sunlight filled the room. I didn't close them. When I stepped into the hallway, Uncle Chris was getting ready for work, and he paused when he saw me. "You're up early."
"Yeah," I said. "I've decided."
"About school?"
I nodded. "Hilton's."
He looked at me for a second, then smiled. "Good choice. I'll start the paperwork and visit the school today."
"I'll come with you," I added. "If that's okay."
That caught him off guard, but he nodded quickly. "Yeah. Yeah, that's fine."
There was a small pause, then I spoke again. "Do we have anything for breakfast?"
He blinked, then laughed. "Yeah, we do."
Breakfast felt… normal. That was the strangest part. I sat at the table, picking at the food at first, then actually eating. Uncle Chris didn't make it a big deal, which I appreciated. He just talked—small things, random things—like how annoying traffic had been lately, or how one of his students tried to argue with him over something completely wrong. I nodded along, even gave a quiet response here and there. It wasn't much, but it was more than I'd done in months.
After we finished, he grabbed his keys again and glanced at me. "You sure you're up for going out today?"
I hesitated for a second, then nodded. "Yeah. If I don't do it now, I probably won't later."
He studied my face, like he was checking if I meant it, then gave a small nod. "Alright. Give me ten minutes."
I went back to my room while he got ready. Standing there, I stared at my closet longer than I should have. It felt stupid, but it mattered. What do you wear when you're trying to move forward? I shook my head at myself and grabbed something simple. Nothing special. Just… enough.
When we stepped outside, the air felt different. Not new, not refreshing—just unfamiliar in a way I hadn't noticed before. I followed him to the car, sliding into the passenger seat without saying much. The engine started, and we pulled out of the driveway.
The ride was quieter this time, but it wasn't heavy like before. It just existed.
"You'll like Hilton's," Uncle Chris said after a while. "It's a good school. Solid academics, decent environment."
"Yeah," I replied. "I've heard."
He glanced at me briefly. "You got friends going there?"
I looked out the window. "Dunno."
He didn't ask further questions, and I was glad.
When we got there, the building stood tall and clean, almost too perfect. Students moved around the compound, some in groups, some alone, all looking like they belonged. For a second, I just stood there.
This was it.
A new place.
A new start.
Or at least… the closest thing to one.
"You good?" Uncle Chris asked.
I nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."
We walked inside, and everything felt structured—organized in a way my life hadn't been lately. Offices, staff, students passing by. It was almost overwhelming, but I kept walking.
The process took a while. Forms, questions, signatures. I answered when I had to, staying quiet the rest of the time. Uncle Chris handled most of it, occasionally glancing at me to make sure I was still present.
"You wanna apply, right?" the administrator asked.
"Yes," I replied.
She nodded and continued typing. "You'll need to submit a few things, like your final exam results, but nothing too serious. We'll assign you a schedule before the week ends."
I surprisingly did okay in my finals, considering my state at the time.
I nodded again.
By the time we stepped out of the office, I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.
"Well," Uncle Chris said, stretching slightly. "That's done. Leave the rest to me. School starts next week so do your best to prepare."
"Sure."
We started walking back toward the entrance when I slowed down slightly.
"You okay?" he asked again.
I nodded. "I think so."
And for once, I meant it.
As we stepped outside, I took one last look at the school. Something about it didn't feel suffocating. It didn't feel like my room. Things were looking up for Miss Amaryllis Ochika.