Chapter 319: "Confess and Run" Doesn't Actually Exist
About three or four seconds after Yukari's figure vanished, right as another burst of fireworks exploded overhead with a louder crack than before, Ryū finally snapped back to reality—his expression shifting from blank shock into something distinctly strange.
Instinctively, he pinched his own forearm—with Armament Haki active, no less.
The faint sting of pain confirmed it: he wasn't dreaming. This wasn't some hallucination.
Which meant... he'd actually just been hit on?
By a youkai sage who, on any ordinary day, came across as thoroughly indecent and constantly driving off-topic content into the chat?
This whole thing felt more than a little unreal. And not just "hit on," either—he'd been confessed to, apparently, and the person doing the confessing was Yukari, of all people.
That sudden move of hers had genuinely caught him completely off guard.
Looked like she'd already left the Naruto world entirely, back in Gensokyo by now.
So her whole "making sure the 1,000 Points felt worth it" line had actually just been an excuse to confess to him?
What exactly did it feel like, getting confessed to by a several-thousand-year-old woman?
Ryū found the whole feeling genuinely strange—and there was even a tiny, sneaky flicker of pleasure buried in there somewhere, like some part of him had already quietly accepted the confession.
Wait, what?!
Was puberty really catching up with him this hard? He couldn't even manage to work up a proper impulse to reject her.
Couldn't even come up with a single decent reason to turn her down, honestly.
He shook his head hurriedly, scattering the tangled thoughts, ignoring the brilliant fireworks still lighting up the night sky entirely, and slipped his consciousness into the Dimensional Chat Group.
The group was still buzzing along as normal. Scrolling back through the chat log, Ryū found no trace of Yukari popping back up anywhere.
Which meant this youkai sage had, quite unusually, gone completely silent. Had blurting that out actually left her flustered?
Hm...did a several-thousand-year-old youkai even get flustered?
Ryū couldn't say for sure. Probably only Yukari herself really knew the answer to that one.
RawrSoFierce: Something just happened that's kind of thrown me for a loop. Still haven't fully processed it. Might need a minute to sit with this one.
My True Form Is Cola: Eh? Wait, aren't you with Yukari-senpai right now? Remember to take proper precautions! Hold on—the "sudden development" you just mentioned, is that you forgetting to take proper precautions??
RawrSoFierce: Pfft...what exactly is going on in that head of yours?
RawrSoFierce: Can we not default straight to the least wholesome interpretation possible?
Street-Corner Illustrator: Well, Umaru's been binging some not-exactly-wholesome reading material lately, which means her mind's been jumping straight to that particular direction for basically everything these days.
Street-Corner Illustrator: Generally speaking, when a girl her age gets that into unwholesome literature, it's a sign puberty's kicked in and her hormones are running a bit wild.
My True Form Is Cola: SHUT IT! I do NOT read that stuff on the regular!
Edward Newgate: Gurararara, young folks gotta learn some self-control, you know. Not entirely sure if that applies to girls the same way, but self-control's self-control!
Terrible Tornado: Honestly this is completely normal for kids that age, so Umaru shouldn't feel too weird about it—we've all been there, we get it.
My True Form Is Cola: Ahhh...guess there's a Chinese saying for this, right? "Even the Yellow River couldn't wash this off me now"?
My True Form Is Cola: Also why did the topic suddenly land on ME? Weren't we just talking about Admin-sama and Yukari-senpai?
Kaguya-sama: Because this new topic's honestly gotten us way more excited (??)
My True Form Is Cola: ...I genuinely have nothing to say. Admin-sama, they're bullying me, waaah.
RawrSoFierce: Imagining Umaru turning into a full hamster-mode "waaah waaah" noise machine—adorable, honestly.
My True Form Is Cola: ...Σ(°△°)︴ Adorable? Wait, did I just get confessed to too??
RawrSoFierce: ...You're reading way too much into that, kid. Yeah, you've definitely been reading too much of that unwholesome stuff lately.
[...]
After lurking in the chat group for ten-plus minutes, Ryū's slightly scrambled brain finally started sorting itself out a little.
Pulling his consciousness back out of the group, he looked up at the fireworks still lighting the night sky, breathing in the faint scent of gunpowder still lingering in the air.
Quietly, he opened up his own crossing permissions, then opened access into the Touhou Project world, and without even blinking, spent 1,000 Points.
His figure vanished instantly from the Naruto world, and when he materialized again, he was somewhere else entirely.
Not that this should be misread as him "ascending" anywhere—he'd simply crossed straight from the Naruto world into the Touhou Project world.
The moment his figure appeared in what looked like a living room, Ryū immediately felt several wary gazes snap toward him all at once. He let his Observation Haki spread out—didn't even need to look to know exactly how many "people" were watching him right now.
Four presences, most likely: Yukari, Ran, Chen, and Sakura.
"Eh...wha—what? What the—you, you, YOU came here?!"
Yukari, face buried in her pillow, jolted upright the second she registered someone had barged in, freezing in place for a solid two or three seconds before finally managing to sputter out that question, thoroughly stunned.
That reaction left Ran and Chen equally baffled. This unfamiliar, apparently non-hostile intruder—seemed to actually know Lady Yukari?
What kind of bizarre turn of events was this?
Not long ago, Lady Yukari had mysteriously vanished for a while, then come back looking like a boiled shrimp, burying her face straight into a giant pillow without saying a single word.
Though, going by her reaction just now, it did look like Lady Yukari had been experiencing... some kind of small joy? A little bit of shyness? Wait, "shyness"—what kind of reaction was that supposed to be, coming from her?
And now, out of nowhere, here was a random stranger who apparently already knew Lady Yukari.
Looking at the giant pillow Yukari was still clutching, Ryū paid no attention to Ran's or Chen's wary looks—neither shikigami posed any real threat to him whatsoever.
He nodded thoughtfully. "So it turns out even you, this youkai sage, can get flustered like this. Guess that confirms it—zero actual romantic experience."
Yukari's mouth twitched slightly. She replayed the words she'd said just minutes ago in her head.
And now, facing Ryū directly again, this entire youkai felt distinctly unwell—like she'd just been thoroughly, mercilessly played.
Her whole plan had been "confess and run"—she genuinely hadn't expected Ryū, of all people, to actually follow her back!
"Well...you left kind of abruptly. I never actually gave you an answer yet."
Ryū walked right up to Yukari and sat down cross-legged in front of her, watching the youkai sage—visibly flustered but forcing herself to look composed—with a small, easy smile. "So, do I count as your very first confession ever, since you came into being?"
"Non—nonsense! This humble self has PLENTY of romantic experience, why would I be flustered? And don't think just because you're playing it cool that this humble self can't tell you're actually just as nervous underneath, Admin-sama."
"Yeah, fair, I am a little nervous. A little tense, even. Guess staying open-minded about it helps keep things steady, though."
"...Hey—HEY! Admin-sama, what are you leaning in for?! I'll report you for harassment, I swear!"
[...]
Ryū leaned in a little closer, watching Yukari—loudly protesting yet making zero effort to actually pull away—and his brow arched, subtly.
Claiming he wasn't nervous would've been a flat-out lie. The only reason he wasn't literally breaking into a cold sweat right now was purely thanks to Life Return, which had sealed his pores shut entirely.
Watching this whole scene unfold, Ran and Chen couldn't help but exchange a stunned glance. Their instincts told them their Lady Yukari was genuinely, thoroughly rattled right now.
Sure, on the surface she looked composed, unbothered—but the fact that she wasn't dodging or pulling away at all made it clear that mind of hers, sharp as a supercomputer on any normal day, was currently completely scrambled.
Right as Ran opened her mouth to say something, a sudden sight made her eyes fly wide open.
She hurriedly yanked Chen close and clamped a hand over her curious eyes.
Several of her fox tails swept over to cover Sakura's eyes as well.
And then a few more tails curled around to cover her own eyes too...
Even though she tried hard to shield her own vision with her tail, Ran couldn't quite resist leaving a tiny gap, peeking through just enough to see.
Her delicate, fair face was full of pure disbelief, as if she'd just witnessed something utterly beyond comprehension, her small mouth hanging faintly open.
The expression on her face looked exactly like a caveman stumbling across a spaceship for the first time—her striking eyes brimming with sheer bewilderment.
Ryū paid no attention whatsoever to the nine-tailed fox's reaction. He was already keyed up to an absolute peak of tension himself. Slowly pulling back, he smiled. "That's my answer to what you said a few minutes ago."
With that said, he didn't linger. Just like Yukari had done earlier, he vanished instantly from the little attic room in Gensokyo, back to Konoha in a blink.
Believing she'd successfully shielded both children's eyes, Ran had no idea that Sakura, peering through the thin layer of fox fur covering her own eyes, had witnessed the entire scene unfold with wide, stunned eyes.
Hard to imagine just how much of an impact that particular scene might have had on a five-year-old.
Sure, Sakura's inner maturity gave off the impression of someone closer to fourteen or fifteen—but even so, this genuinely left her thoroughly shaken.
Meekly, she finally broke the strange, heavy silence. "Um...Yukari-nee, are you okay?"
"...You two go on ahead for a bit. This humble self's brain feels like it's overheating a little. I think I need some time alone to sit with this."
[...]
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