Toffee ran away from P'Artit as fast as he could. He rushed into his faculty building and headed straight for his department's studio.
People turned their heads to look at him in surprise—they wondered why he was running so hard.
When he finally got inside, Toffee grabbed his chest. His heart was beating so fast it scared him. Since the other first-year students had already left, the studio was quiet and empty.
He found a hidden corner and sat down on the floor, trying to hide from the world.
He pressed his hand against his heart. It felt like it was going to burst out.
"P'Artit..." he whispered. "He really likes me?"
It had only been one day since they met. It sounds crazy, but Toffee felt like he had known him for years. Being near Artit made him feel "whole," like a missing piece of himself had been found.
Toffee felt confused. He knew he was the type of person who fell in love easily, but he was also afraid. In the past, when someone broke his trust, it felt like his world was ending. That's why he tried to stay away from love. He wanted to forget his past and keep his heart safe.
But his heart wasn't listening to him. He wanted P'Artit. He wanted Artit to care for him, to look at him, and to hold his hand for a long time.
Toffee tucked his head between his knees and covered his face with his hands. He sat there in the dark corner, his mind spinning with thoughts of the older boy.
Suddenly, a painful memory from high school flashed in Toffee's mind.
Back in the eleventh grade, a popular basketball player named P'Gun started chasing him. At first, Toffee didn't care, but Gun's kindness finally won him over. When Toffee agreed to be his boyfriend, he only asked for one thing: "Can I trust you? Please don't break my heart."
The memory shifted to the day of the big game. Toffee was so proud of Gun. He had bought a pair of expensive shoes and wrote a sweet letter to congratulate him.
He hurried to the locker room to surprise him.
Inside, only Gun and his friend were left. Toffee stayed behind the door, smiling, waiting to go in. But then, he heard them talking.
"Did you get the spot on the national team?" the friend asked.
Gun laughed. "Of course. I don't have money for fancy clothes or travel, but my 'cute boyfriend' Toffee takes care of everything. His parents are fools—they even gave me a blank check because they feel sorry for me. I used his family's connections to get selected before the match even started."
Toffee froze. His heart felt cold.
"Wow, you're smart," the friend joked. "Toffee isn't bad-looking either. Have you... tasted him yet?"
"Not yet," Gun replied with a mean voice. "He's so shy. But I have time. I'll use him until I get everything I want, then I'll dump him."
Behind the door, Toffee's best friend, Mok, was standing nearby. Mok always protected Toffee from a distance because Toffee was like his other half. Hearing these dirty words made Mok explode with anger.
Mok rushed into the room and started punching Gun and his friend. In the shock, the gift box slipped from Toffee's hands.
THUD...
The sound of the shoes hitting the floor made everyone stop. Gun turned around, his face turning pale as he saw Toffee standing there, trembling, with tears in his eyes.
Gun looked at the door and saw Toffee standing there. He didn't realize Toffee had heard everything.
"Toffee! When did you get here?" Gun shouted. Then he pointed at Mok with a mean face. "This jerk Mok... I always told you he was jealous of us! Mok, do you like Toffee? In your dreams! He only loves me, his P'Gun!"
Gun walked toward Toffee with a fake smile.
"Toffee, my baby, did you see my match? I won! Now we can—"
SLAP!
Toffee's hand hit Gun's cheek so hard that Gun fell to the floor. His lip began to bleed. Gun's face twisted in anger, and he tried to get up to hit Toffee back, but Mok jumped in and blocked him.
Suddenly, Toffee reached out and grabbed Mok's hand.
"Mok... I'm tired," Toffee said. His voice was cold and empty. "Can we go? I don't want to get my clothes dirty. This place is disgusting."
Mok froze. He wasn't shocked by tears—he was shocked because Toffee's face showed no emotion at all. It was scarier than seeing him cry.
Mok realized that Toffee's heart hadn't just broken; it had shattered.
"Let's go," Mok whispered. "Like you said, this place is dirty."
Mok picked up the gift from the floor, took Toffee's hand, and led him outside.
Before they walked away, Toffee suddenly stopped. He looked at Mok with tired eyes. "Mok... that gift. I don't want to see it anymore. Can you throw it away for me?"
Mok smiled, his own eyes a little watery. "Okay. Wait for me here... I'll be fast."
Mok took the gift and walked back into the locker room. When Gun and his friend saw Mok return, they looked scared. They thought he was going to hit them again.
Instead, Mok grabbed the handwritten letter attached to the box and tore it into pieces. Then, he threw the expensive shoes right at Gun's face.
"Think of this as charity," Mok said coldly. "You could never afford shoes this expensive. Even a stray dog on the street deserves a gift sometimes... so make sure you wear them."
Gun turned red with anger. "You jerk! I—"
Gun tried to jump up, but his friend quickly grabbed his arm to stop him. Mok didn't care. He turned around and walked back to Toffee without looking back.
Once they were away from the gym, Mok patted Toffee's head gently. "You can cry if you want. I'm right here."
Toffee sank to the floor, clutching his heart. He didn't scream or wail. He cried silently, his body shaking with a pain so deep it had no sound. Mok sat beside him and hugged him tightly, letting Toffee hide against his chest. They stayed like that for a long time, two friends holding onto each other in the quiet.
Inside the locker room, the floor was messy. Mok had torn the letter into many tiny pieces before leaving. Those small scraps of paper were all that was left of Toffee's heart.
The Letter -
To P'Gun,
" Thank you for coming into my life. You gave me feelings I never knew existed. Every moment we shared was my favorite memory. Please stay by my side so I can always love you.
From,
your Toffee."
Toffee sat in the quiet studio for a long time. Even though he wasn't sobbing, tears kept falling down his face without him realizing it. He thought about his past and how much he had been hurt.
If it weren't for my parents, Mok, and Mok's family, I wouldn't be here, Toffee thought. They were the ones who gave him warmth when his world felt cold.
"Thank you, everyone," he whispered into the empty room. "What would I do without you in my life, Mok?"
He took a deep breath and wiped his tears away. To give himself courage, he lightly slapped his own cheeks to "wake up" his heart. He stood up from the floor, trying to motivate himself to move forward.
He walked toward the door, talking to himself softly. "It's not that I'm scared to love... I'm just wondering. Can P'Artit really love me more than I love him? Can I really give him a chance? What if we don't fit together?"
Toffee shook his head, trying to stop the bad thoughts. "Don't overthink it, Toffee. Just let things go with the flow."
He stepped out of the studio, leaving the shadows of his past behind for now.