Hyunjin
For the first time in my life, I don't feel the need to rush.
My partner lies next to me, his warmth seeping into my skin as he breathes calmly and deeply. The room is quiet, interrupted only by muffled sounds from the city far below. We didn't talk. We didn't need to.
The moment we touched wasn't just about our bodies.
It was about us finally stopping our retreat.
All my life, I've kept my distance. Between myself and others. Between feelings and decisions. I knew exactly, when to get closer and when to back off. But tonight, for the first time, I didn't do that.
When I leaned towards him, it wasn't a calculated move. No plan. I was simply aware, that if I had backed away, I would have lost something I could never get back. And he wasn't afraid of me. Not for a second.
His hands were uncertain, but sincere. Every touch was a question that I answered without words. For the first time, I didn't try to control anything. I just was. I allowed myself to feel everything I had kept locked away for so long.
It wasn't about passion.
It was about trust.
As we lay naked, exhausted and calm next to each other, I realised that something irreversible had happened. Not because we slept together. But because I had allowed him to see me without my armour.
And he stayed.
... ༺༻ ...
Morning comes slowly.
Light filters through the curtains and shines on his face. The scar is visible. Sharp. Real. I don't look away. In fact, I touch it with my fingers. Gently, as if it were a memory, not a wound.
He opens his eyes. He just lies there for a moment and looks at me, as if checking that I'm still there.
„You didn't run away," he mumbles.
„I never planned to," I reply.
He pulls closer to me. Without hesitation. Without questions. It feels like the most natural place in the world. He rests his head on my chest and I automatically put my hand on his back. The movement is instinctive. Protective.
In that moment, I realise something that both frightens and reassures me.
It's not just about me anymore.
This boy has got under my skin in a way that no one else ever has. And it's not weakness. It's a commitment. I know that whatever happens, I will have to carry it for him too.
„Hyunjin?" he says quietly.
„Hmm?"
„I won't regret it," he says. Not as a question. It's a statement.
I close my eyes and pull him closer. „Me neither."
For the first time in a long time, I know that, no matter what happens outside, this was the right decision.
... ༺༻ ...
That day, we stay in bed for longer, than I ever thought possible.
The hours passed slowly and lazily, as if the outside world had decided to leave us alone and give us an opportunity to get to know each other better in an intimate setting.
The sun moves across the wall and the shadows lengthen and shorten again. I don't talk about work. I don't talk about the war. I don't talk about Mishimoto. And Taesung doesn't ask.
He lies next to me, sometimes pressing himself against me and sometimes just breathing silently. It's ordinary. And that's why it's so strange. I'm not used to anything that doesn't push, hurt or threaten to explode. And yet..., I accept this peace.
I'll always remember this day as a gift.
At ten o'clock in the evening, we get up. We have a shower, put on clean clothes and exchange quiet glances in the mirror. Taesung sees himself differently. His hair is blue, sharp and strange — and yet exactly as it should be. I don't say anything. I just hand him his jacket. That colour actually suits him quite well.
„Let's go into town," I suggest. „Just for a walk. We could get something to eat."
He hesitates for a moment. Then he nods. „Yeah, I want to go out."
We leave after almost an hour. The city is still pulsing with life, lights are reflecting off the glass and the bridges are glowing like sprawling arteries. I drive with one hand, holding his hand with the other. It feels so natural that it makes me nervous.
„You know," he says quietly, „today is the first time I'm not worried about what's going to happen."
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. „Me too," I reply.
And then it happens.
We're on the bridge. There's nowhere to go. Lights appear in front of us. At first, they're just two dots in the distance, but they start approaching us at an alarming speed.
„Hyunjin?" Now I can see clearly. The car is hurtling straight at us. It's not slowing down. It's not swerving either. In fact, it's speeding up. Instinctively, I grip the steering wheel.
The world shrinks into a single moment.
... ༺༻ ...
BLOOD DEBT (피의 빚)