"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour"
– Peter 5:8
Ire rose awake once again to the sound of an alarm, reached blindly for it before turning it off before opening her eyes. Ire turned over on the couch and faced the alarm. The same yellow note as before was stuck to it. She slowly raised to her feet and begrudgingly began the cycle.
It would be a lie to pretend I'm not at least a little worried.
Ire ate the food Aster had left.
After all, I don't know what I got into. I made a deal with the devil… and I sent her after someone. I didn't stop to question what "revenge" is in the context. I might have signed them up for death. Is that right? Am I the one deserving punishment?
Ire took a shower, spending roughly ten minutes.
I'm sure Julia would tell me it's alright, but there'd be a bias, or she could lie to me about it. Aster would probably be against it though, but he'd also have a bias, and he's a bit… dramatic. Now that I think about it, I never really defined what I think is wrong or right.
Ire got dressed.
There are three major moral systems that most people fall into.
Firstly, Deontology, coming from the Greek word deon for duty. Deontology dictates that the morality of an action is not determined by its effect, but rather is deemed immoral if it breaks a set of rules such as "do not kill" and "do not steal." This one is mostly used for religious purposes, not very common with people. Regardless, under this belief I am immoral if she kills someone.
Second, Virtue Ethics. Virtue ethics ignores one's action and decides that a person is immoral or moral based on the qualities they fit. Qualities such as courageous, kind, or selfless. I don't think I'd use those words to describe me, maybe honest. In conclusion, I am still immoral.
Ire opened the door.
Lastly, Consequentialism. Consequentialism says that morality is determined by the effects of one's action and the good versus the bad that it caused. In this case the positives are that I'm no longer in danger, but the negatives are three lives at risk. Once again immoral.
Ire stepped outside.
"Every system dictates that I am an immoral sinner… but I don't feel like it. I truly feel like I'm doing the right thing, and don't all of them deserve to die?… I'm being crazy."
Ire closed her eyes and tried to hold off on thinking.
"Think not lightly of evil, saying, 'It will not come to me.' Drop by drop is the water pot filled. A fool becomes laden with evil, even if he gathers it little by little"
— Dhammapada (Verse 121)
Ire walks the same street she had walked again and again. It was crowded , bright and noisy just like before and the day before it . Not a single detail different not a sudden change in nature, nothing to stop her mind from thinking
"They don't deserve death, do they? They would have killed me in a sense but I was doing that to myself…but they brought me there . they tormented and hurt me for so long i dont remember how it was before it. They want me to listen to all they say and follow along like a puppet! Everything I say is spoken for me and my opinions and values hold no weight with them! Why do I have to be moral when they aren't! It isn't fair, it isn't! It isn't at all!"
Ire raised their hand to their temples vigorously rubbing them as she walked
What am I even saying, what am I even thinking? Why would I even say that, it's so unlike me!
Ire dropped her hands and sped up her stride a stressed look grew on her face as a sickening thought came to her
"Is she changing me? Corrupting me, taking me away from the garden of Eden?"
Ire shook her head a continued walking determined to get to school as quickly as she could.Before she could think deeper about it
"Those who are of demonic nature do not know what to do and what not to do. Neither cleanliness nor proper behavior nor truth is found in them".
— Bhagavad Gita 16.7
The fox sat in its seat surrounded by the fellow critters of the forest. It was peaceful in the forest, it was quiet.. The wolf and its pack had yet to arrive but the fear they illicit had already long taken its place. The fox was worried it was unable to even move itself. All should be fine, the devil had promised
But what if she lied? What if it was a trick
Ire rested her head on the table's desk. She stared at the door blankly. Dreading their arrival.
The Devil? Why should I trust that? I just listened, I never even bother to ask for definite proof, your so stupid Ire , your so unbelievably stupid
Ire turned to look to the seats at the back of the class
But she was here yesterday, she has to be telling the truth,right?Right? Right! Yes she'll stop them and i wont deal with them aga-
Isaac , Tayo and Myrra walk through the door. Ire watched them subtly as they entered . Tayo and Murray expressions were anxious, they clearly were uncomfortable, Tayo had his hands in the pockets of his jacket and Myrra arms were wrapped around herself but that anxiety seemed to be exclusive to them as Isaac's expression was a pure deadpan stare and that stare like usual was directed at Ire. Ire heart immediately began to pump blood rapidly, she could feel her heart all the way in her head. Isaac was getting closer and his stare wasn't stoping
They haven't changed, HE hasn't changed! Why are they still like this? I'm scared. I'm worried. They're going to torture me!
They drew closer
Did Julia lie to me, was this just to get my hopes up? No she saved me, she stopped me from jumping off the cascade apartment complex. She couldn't lie
Isaac drew closer
But what if she was with them, they wanted me to stay alive longer so they could hurt me more! no,noNO! Im not thinking straight–its two farfetched but what else could explain this. They're still here"
The Wolf drew closer
I–i can't i cant -i –it –i–it was a lie, it was a lie. It was a lie. I thought I was free! I can't go back, I won't, I won't, I WON'T."
Ire could hear Julia's voice in the back of her mind.
"I'll end it,"
Shut up
" it'll be over"
You lied
" you can move on"
You're a Liar!
" After I do, I wonder"
You're not doing anything, you're not doing anything at all!
"What will you do tonight?"
I'll end it. I'll end it and I won't let you stop me again. I can't go through this for the rest of my life…All i want to do tonight, Is Die
Die,Die,Die,Die,Die,Die,Die,Die,Die
DieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDie
Isaac ,tayo and myraa all sat down. Both myrra and tayo had their heads down. Isaac turned around in his seat to face Ire. He reached forward and placed his hand on her shoulder . He gripped onto her shoulder digging his finger into her. Isaac spoke his voice coarse like he had spent hours yelling at the top of his voice "Hey Ire, I have to ask. Are you insane?"
Ire stayed completely silent. Isaac dug his finger in deeper, Ire could feel the circulation of her blood be cut off. Isaac repeated"i ask you are you insane?"
Myrra butted "Isaac you dont"
Isaac turned his head to myrra and she instantly backed down. Isaac sighed "Stay silent, after school we'll have a little talk. Don't think about running home either, We'll wait outside the cascade apartment complex for you."
Isaac let go and returned the seat, facing back towards the teacher. Ire blankly stared at the table in front of her. A drop of water fell from her eyes and splashed against the table. Ire tears begin to flow one after another each one causing the puddle to expand more and more. Ire that construct as each breath felt harder than the one before. Ire looked up toward the back of Isaac's head, the back of the wolf's hide.
What did I do to deserve this?
"It is only the devil who would make (men) fear his partisans. Fear them not; but fear Me, if ye are true believers"
— Surah Ali 'Imran (3:175)
Ire laid stood in front of the school no thought reached her only a pure beautiful silence, she had already given up she had already surrendered. Multiple times during her wait cars would pass, Ire felt an increasing urge to jump out onto the street but before she could act on it, they appeared.
Ire felt an arm wrap and hers. It was Isaac. He dragged her along, Ire sluggishly limping along . tayo and myrra walked beside her. They couldn't even bring themselves to look at her , instead they turned their gaze to the passing cars. Ire could care she told herself
I'll die anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't care anymore
Ire couldn't see anything as they brought her along , not because she couldn't but because she wouldn't. She was focused on nothing, saw nothing,, heard nothing, felt nothing , smelt nothing , tasted nothing but that's how she wanted it, to her this was peaceful. Ire fell into the peaceful quiet nothingness.
Ire's eyes opened, she couldn't tell where she was or how she could have gotten here. Ire reluctantly sighed and processed her surrounding
What do I taste?
I don't care, I don't care about that
What do I smell?
Nothing, nothing at all
What do I feel?
I feel…numb
What do I hear?
Nothing i want to
What do I see?
…fine
The room was brightly lit in an orange from a lightbulb in the center of the ceiling, the walls of the rooms were covered with two lays of beds with cupboards between each step. Each one neatly laid with the duvets tucked into their edges. Along with the beds the floors were spotless as if no one had ever been here. From where Ire was sitting and where she was facing she couldn't see the door.
Ire sat on both of her legs resting on her knees. Her hands were placed upon her lap, tightly gripping her pants, her hands were shaking but she couldn't explain why until she realised she was shirtless, her button being nowhere in her sight .
Looking at her gaze met Tayo standing in the corner of the room, the second her eyes met his time instantly turned to look at the ground. Ire turned her gaze until she saw Myrra. She sat on one of the beds and looked at her. She was looking at Ire with a sense of remorse.
What do I think?
I was betrayed or lied to call it easier. For whatever reason she lied about fixing my life, she lied about stopping any of this , she told me it was over! I'm done, I'm done with all of this! Im sick of it all, there is no savior, i have no guardian angel
Ire could hear the door open behind her before the sound of it being locked. Isaac walked past her a wooden bat in his hands. He stopped from her, crouching down to meet her eyes. Two blank expressions meet each other. One hiding rage the other hiding despair. Ire head the bat in both hands. He spoke slowly "what did you think you'd achieve? Did you just want to piss me off or was there something more to it?"
I don't know what he's talking about. No, I don't care what he's talking about. Shut up, Shut up, Shut up!
Ire opened her mouth, it hurt to speak after being silent for so long. Her voice was rigid and weak but clear "can you shut up?"
Isaac reeled back for a moment before leaning back in. "what did you say to me?"
"Can you shut up," Ire repeated "and just kill me"
Isaac paused, he stood back up and took a step backwards. He muttered under his breath "alright"
Ire looked up towards him she opened her mouth to speak but before a single sound could leave her mouth Isaac swung.
Ire felt the impact instantly . The rigid surface of the bat collided with the side bringing an instant moment of pain. Ire fell back, she instinctively reached to the right side of her head. Ire looked at her hand, it was now covered in a fresh coat of red paint. Ire could feel her head pumping, adrenaline rushing through her body. The pain was unbearable, it wouldn't stop. It kept burning over and over. Without her control she was already screaming
It hurts, it hurts , IT HURTS SO BAD.
Isaac released his bat up again. Myrra rises up from the bed and grabs his arm,stopping Isaac mid swing. Myrra wailed, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Are you insane! You said you wouldn't hit her! What's wrong with you!"
Isaac moved his open hand, striking Myrra and causing her to stumble back. Isaac yelled a profound anger in his voice "Sit down! Don't touch me or I'll kill you!"
Tayo opened his mouth to say something but stopped before he did. Isaac turned back to Ire. she tossed and turned on the ground wailing in pain and gripping the spot on her head. Isaac raised the bat before swinging again.
Another scream of pain left Ire as pain built up in her arm. Ire curled up holding her arms to herself. Isaac yelled "You fucking bitch! You break in my home and destroy my things and have the AUDACITY to say that bullshit to my face"
"Isaac, please" Myrra stood up once again. Isaac points the bat towards her "I thought I told you to sit down and shut up!"
Myrra reluctantly returned to her seat, her hands shaking. Issac released the bat back and swung again hitting Ire's back
I want this to be over already! I can't take this anymore!"
"I don't know who you think you are!"
Then her leg
Stop It, Stop It already!
"But I'm not going to let you act like you are some badaass"
Then her other arms
It hurts! It hurts
"You want to die? I'll kill you myself!"
And then her back once again
I want to die already, WHY CAN'T I DIE ALREADY
"I'll make you wish you never even met me!"
Isaac realizes his back up once more but before he swung everyone heard a knock on the door. Isaac dropped the now bloody back onto the floor and walked towards the door, stepping on Ire as he walked to the door. He stood before it and opened it slightly.
Tayo quickly rushed to Ire while Isaac was distracted, he propped her up against one of the room's beds before returning to the corner.
Ire couldn't see who was there, she faced the wrong way and was too battered to even turn her head. She could faintly hear the speaking of Isaac and the guest.
"Are you Isaac Iwano?" the guest spoke
Isaac hesitated before answering "yeah, what do you want?"
"Your delivery is here!" the guest answered.
"I didn't order anything" Isaac denied "and i aint got money either"
"You already paid online," The guest explained "im just here to deliver it"
"What's in the bag?" Isaac questioned.
Ire could hear the rustling of a bag before the guest spoke "three colas, one large two medium and a larger serving of fries with garlic dip"
There was another rattling of the bag before the guest spoke "Thank you for ordering!"
Isaac closes and locks the door, he returns with a white bag. "Did either of you two order this?"
The two of them stay silent. Isaac sighed before reaching into the bag and tossing the two medium drinks to each of them "lucky us"
Isaac takes the sip of the large cola before laying both it and the onto the ground. Isaac reaches and picks up the bat before walking towards Ire. Isaac raises the bat above his head but before he striked…Tayo falls to the ground, the can of cola spilling onto the ground and barely a moment after Myrra follows, falling backwards onto the bed.
Isaac dropped the bat and turned back "tayo? Myrra?"
Both of them were growing pale as a thick foam came from their mouths, they twitched and flopped around like a fish out of water. Isaac rushed over and held Tayo. He yelled "Tayo! Tayo! What happening"
The screams of Isaac brought a moment of clarity from the pain. Her eyes laid upon Myrra and then Tayo. just then Ire went through a grand epiphany
This is it, this is her. She didn't lie, she didn't. She didn't leave. There is still a chance for me to change things for the better.
There was a sudden knock on the door. Isaac stood up and turned to the door. "Wh-whose there!"
With a sudden bang the head of a fire axe cut through the door and caused splinters of wood to fly off of it. Isaac quickly picks up the bat and readies himself.
It's over, it's ended, I'm free, It's over, it's ended, I'm free, It's over, it's ended, Im free, It's over, it's ended, Im free!
The axe retreats and a hand covered in long black latex glove enters through the gap. It felt around the door until I found the handle. It undoes the lock before retreating through the hole. A moment passes before the door is forced open suddenly. Isaac backs away until he touches the wall, the bat still clenched tightly in his hands.
Footstep get louder and louder until Ire could see the source. A figure stood, they wore a long black hooded trench coat that even covered their feet and most of their arms. Their hands were covered by black latex gloves and within their right hand was a long fire axe,a piece of wood still remnant in its blade.
Ire eyes slowly rose up to their face. The figure's hood covered their hair and they wore a mask that Ire could recognise . that same mask Julia had worn. Without proof Ire knew without a doubt that the person was Julia
Julia stepped forward. They spoke, their voice muffled and in a lower tone but not far enough to be unrecognisable to Ire. "Drop the bat"
Isaac yells "who the fuck are!"
Julia sighed before gesturing to Tayo and Myrra "dont you want to help your friends?"
Isaac hesitates looking between Tayo, Myrra and Julia, he reluctantly drops the bat before erasing his hand "wh-what did you do to them!"
Julia drops the fire axe and crouches next to Ire. She holds Ire's head up with her hand. Julia said "you poor thing, you must have suffered so. It's alright now, your guardian angel is here."
"Do not praise the man whose guidance and morals stem from his beliefs, laws or scriptures, praise the woman who acts virtuous without it, for she is the one who is free and the one who is kind."
– The Devil