EVAN SEVILLE
Amelia and I had been busy these past few months— We've been away from each other emotionally and physically. Both of us had been busy with our jobs.
We've been so busy building up our emergency funds and other funds in our bank that we didn't realize we were slowly drifting apart.
I sighed exhaustingly as the taxi driver parked down the road in front of our home— Just came back from another book signing event from Philippines— I paid the driver and left his taxi.
I got inside our home, hoping she would be there, only to find out that she wasn't there. House was empty and gloomy. As if there was no color in it, as if there was no life. I just stared blankly before sighing heavily once again.
I headed upstairs in our room, put away my clothes, organized them, then changed into my boxers. I headed downstairs to cook, with my phone in my hand, went to the kitchen and prepared the ingredients.
I wasn't in the mood, today. Probably because of being away from her for too long or something.
An hour had gone by, it was already dinner time. I finished by the time Amelia came home. She probably saw me in the kitchen, because she was making her way to the stairs to our room but stopped when she walked by our kitchen.
I didn't turned to face her, busied myself with cooking her favorite mushed potato. I felt her small arms wrapped around my waist, but for some reason, I didn't hold her hand like I always did whenever she wrapped her small arms around me.
She knew that. She noticed that. She caught up and knew that I wasn't in the mood. She hugged me tightly, "I.. I know you're not in the mood to talk things out right now, but I'll be waiting.." she said assuringly.
I just hummed bluntly, knowing these actions that I was giving her was not making any sense, I was just hurting her more by being blunt and dry.
She kissed my back through the fabric of my shirt, then unwrapped her arms as she left the kitchen to changed and go take a quick shower.
I was left in the kitchen with my thoughts. I didn't know why I wasn't in the mood today, why I felt so annoyed, or something. It was like I was fucking having a menstruation with my moods everywhere.
Though deep down, I knew, I just missed her a lot.
My body did.
My mind did.
My heart did.
Mostly, my soul missed her.
I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't realized that she already came back for dinner. I've already prepared the plates, placed our food, ready our drinks, which was made from fresh oranges.
We started eating in silence, my head was somewhere else— I've been thinking about how I acted lately, I got the fact that she's my wife and that I could tell her everything.
But sometimes, there were feelings that I could not describe in words. It was difficult for me to even understand them, for example, right now. I don't even know if I was annoyed because it's been so long since I've last connected with her, as we have been busy, and probably missing her this much even though she was right in front of me, eating the food I made for both of us.
I was so at lost that I flinched when she suddenly reached for my hand across our table, "hey?.. You haven't touched your food after your first bite.." she mentioned, nodding her head to my food.
I looked down, realizing that I haven't been properly tonight. I sighed, running my head through my hair after putting down the utensils on the table, my hand pulling away from her touch.
"I don't feel like eating." I muttered, almost annoyed— Not from her, but from how I feeling tonight. I stood up, grabbing my plate and tossing it on the counter near the sink, not completely throwing it away. Because I knew Amelia would be mad if I threw away the food.
I knew she would put my food away for me to eat later. She was always like that. Before she could say anything, I left the kitchen— Not in the mood to talk right now, plus, I really don't want to raise my voice at her.
I didn't want what happened last time when we were dating.
"Evan, why aren't you talking to me?.. Did I do something wrong?—"
"Can you just fucking stop, Amelia!? God, this woman—" I couldn't stop myself, but I woke up to reality when I saw that look on her eyes, the way she flinched.
The way her eyes watered, filled with fear.
"I-.. I.." She couldn't form words.
"I'm sorry.." She muttered, before leaving my apartment without any hesitation.
I knew at that time, I won't do it again.. I learned to open up with her with my actions instead. I had to make it clear with her, I was afraid to use my words at her. I was so scared to speak up, to open what I'm feeling.
Suddenly, I didn't realized I was already in our room, deep with my thoughts outside the balcony, leaning on th railing. I then felt her small hand on my back. I closed my eyes when I felt her warmth.
Before I knew it, her small arms wrapped around my waist, sliding up to my chest with her small body pressing up against my back. I felt her lips pressing up on my bare back, slowly spreading those kisses. I closed my eyes shut, groaning.
My eyes found its way to hers, gripping it softly. I felt her sucking my skin behind me, gently and soft, before pressing the side of her face on it.
"I've missed you.." Her voice rasped and trembling. I could feel her tears now on my back. I fluttered my eyes open, letting go of her hands as I turned to face her.
She looked up at me with those dazzling, doe, teary brown eyes. My gaze softened, and slowly cupped her face as she sniffed.
I pressed my forehead against hers, "I've missed you more.."
I pressed my lips against hers.