It was really troublesome to fall sick during this time. Naoki touched his own forehead, feeling that his temperature rose once again. He wondered why he could have a fever when he didn't particularly feel exhausted. He could only blame the weather for turning so cold so soon. His frail constitution was prone to illness when the seasons changed. His biggest enemies were during the winter and in early spring where pollens were flying in the air.
He looked toward the window. The curtains were drawned but he still could see a sliver of lamp light from outside. Then, he turned to check the time on the alarm clock beside the bed. It was only seven in the evening, and here he thought it was already so late. They must be in the middle of preparing dinner. Letting out a sigh, Naoki closed his eyes again.
When he woke up again, the room was dim. Naoki looked around, and Kaname was already beside him, lying on his side with half of his face buried in the pillow. His big hand rested on Naoki's upper arm, and his sleeping face showed some traces of tiredness. Naoki shifted closer, burying his face against Kaname's chest.
Sooner or later, he knew he should tell Kaname about Makita Shinji, but how he should tell it, Naoki hadn't had the slightest idea. Naoki never intended to hide things from Kaname, especially not something this important. It would be unfair for Kaname, who always told him everything even when they were separated far apart. Back then, Naoki did tell Kaname that he was seeing someone, but that was it. He wondered if he told Kaname everything back then, would he be able to come out of that dreadful situation much sooner?
'I was right. You're very fun to play with. I had a great time playing with you.'
Those words Makita said when he left would be forever embedded in Naoki's mind.
Naoki winced. Why did Makita have to come back? Why did he have to come back and pester him again? Naoki was angry, and more than anything, he was scared. He didn't want to feel like that again: desperate, hopeless, helpless, and scared. He didn't want to go back to that nightmare.
His hands grabbed Kaname's clothes tightly. He shivered, and he shifted closer to Kaname. As if sensing Naoki looking for some comfort, Kaname, still sleeping, instinctively pulled Naoki into his arms. Naoki threw both arms around Kaname's body, then closed his eyes again.
He couldn't let himself fall into the same pit again. He wasn't alone now.
****