Chapter 31. The Stone Giants' Preferences
The Lonely Mountain region.
Beorn the skin-changer had lived a very long life and was familiar with ogres. So when a miniature ogre swaggered straight toward him, he froze for a split second—then immediately understood what was going on.
After that, he simply continued eating, choosing to ignore it.
Smaug didn't mind at all. He casually plopped down beside Beorn.
"Getting used to life here?" he asked.
"Mm," Beorn replied briefly.
"You make lunch yourself?" Smaug continued.
"Mm."
"Smells great. You're good at cooking," Smaug said.
Beorn swallowed the food in his mouth. Curiosity got the better of him. After a moment's hesitation, he asked,
"Lord Bard said it was you who taught them these cooking techniques."
"That's right," Smaug said with a grin.
"You're a dragon," Beorn said flatly. "Why do you know how to cook?"
"Haha, who says dragons can't cook?" Smaug laughed.
"I know how to do a lot of things. You'll find out eventually."
"…," Beorn suddenly felt that he didn't want to find out at all, so he stayed silent and kept eating.
Smaug chatted a bit more—mostly one-sided—then stood up.
"I'll be heading out. If you need anything, come find me. If I'm not around, Lord Bard will do just fine."
"…," Beorn instinctively wanted to say I don't need anything, but the words changed at the last second.
Smaug didn't press him. He took a few steps away, transformed into a great eagle, and soared into the sky.
---
Because he was in eagle form this time, Mirkwood, which had been busy preparing for war for over a month, did not sound its alarm.
Just like before, Smaug landed at the highest point of the Woodland Realm.
Thranduil wasn't there. Neither were the guards.
Smaug had no choice but to stroll toward the stairway, hoping to run into someone who could announce his arrival.
He did.
Not long after, a grim-faced Thranduil appeared before him.
Worth noting: Prince Legolas was with him.
After enjoying so many days of rare peace, Thranduil felt an immediate headache the moment he saw Smaug.
"What are you here for this time?" he demanded irritably.
"Old neighbor, who upset you?" Smaug asked innocently.
"Your mood seems awful."
"…," Thranduil had truly had enough of this creature.
"Get to the point."
"Hehe, I do have a few small matters," Smaug said with a smile.
"Three, to be precise."
"????"
Three things—right after arriving. Just what did he think this place was?
Thranduil's expression darkened further.
Legolas remained silent, standing beside his father and listening. This was at Thranduil's insistence.
"Legolas," Smaug suddenly said, rolling his eyes thoughtfully as he glanced at Thranduil,
"Did you make your father angry? His expression is terrible."
"????"
At that moment, Legolas deeply understood how Thranduil felt.
This dragon really was infuriating.
Thranduil finally spoke again, his voice low.
"Continue."
"All right, I'll start with the most important one," Smaug said, completely ignoring Thranduil's irritation.
"First, I've thought of a very good idea—for your kingdom."
"Old neighbor, I can more or less imagine how troubled you've been lately. I know you want to live here peacefully for a long, long time—isolated, undisturbed by the outside world."
"So I propose that we formally cooperate and face the wars that are coming—together."
"As compensation, I swear upon my life: once the war is over, you will still have the life you have now—and you will keep it forever."
"?????"
Thranduil's gaze instantly grew complex, his heart sinking heavily.
The reason was simple.
Thranduil was a wise elf. He understood the deeper implication behind this proposal.
Cooperate, and he would retain everything he already possessed.
But if he refused?
"And if I refuse?" Thranduil's expression darkened further as he asked, his voice firm and heavy.
"That's fine too—after all, it's only a proposal," Smaug replied lightly.
"Still, let me offer a hypothetical."
"If we don't cooperate, then I'm just a single dragon. When the time comes, I certainly won't be able to withstand Sauron's Orc legions."
"And frankly, I have no interest in fighting Sauron to the death to defend Middle-earth."
"So perhaps, when that day arrives, I'll choose a policy of non-resistance."
"With my strength, if I don't resist, I doubt Sauron would be foolish enough to trouble me."
"After all, he and I bear no personal grudge."
---
In truth, this veiled threat was something the perceptive Thranduil had already anticipated—and had even discussed with Legolas.
If Sauron marched forth and Smaug did not resist, the Orc armies would cross the Lonely Mountain with ease and plunge straight into Middle-earth.
And then?
If Smaug stood aside, Sauron would indeed have little reason to provoke him.
But what about the Elves?
The Elves and Sauron shared blood hatred.
They wouldn't even have the option of surrender.
They would be forced into a war of annihilation.
Thranduil fell silent.
Legolas, meanwhile, was stunned.
His father had said Smaug was no longer the same—that he had become intelligent. But until witnessing this moment firsthand, Legolas hadn't truly believed it.
The reason was simple.
After all, it was still just a dragon.
How clever could a dragon really be?
Now—Legolas believed it.
"I will consider it," Thranduil finally said.
"And the other two matters?"
"Thank you for being willing to consider it," Smaug replied politely.
"As for the second matter—I plan to try again with those two Stone Giants."
"I know you understand what the Stone Giants truly need."
"Would you tell me?"
Thranduil fell silent once more, carefully weighing the value of this information to Smaug.
If he refused, could Smaug learn it elsewhere?
There was a strong chance.
Lord Elrond and the Lady of Light both knew—and those two had already improved their relations with Smaug. That much was now certain.
In that case…
"I want gold," Thranduil said at last.
"Ten thousand pounds."
The moment Smaug heard this, his excitement surged. Without hesitation, he reverted to his true form and swiftly retrieved vast quantities of gold from his system storage, shoving it into his mouth before spewing it out.
Clatter—clang—crash!
Gold poured down in a shimmering cascade, piling into a small hill on the ground.
Faced with this scene—
"????"
Legolas was shocked yet again.
The gold was inside him?
He swallowed it… and could spit it back out?
Wasn't it supposed to—come out another way?
"Old neighbor, take a look. Is that enough?" Smaug asked cheerfully after finishing.
Thranduil had only one reason for demanding gold: preparation for war.
Weapons alone consumed immense resources.
"It's more than enough," Thranduil replied honestly after a brief glance.
"Then consider the excess a gift," Smaug said magnanimously.
"You'll need vast resources to forge weapons and armor."
"By the way, mithril armor is exceptionally effective. There's still some in the Lonely Mountain—and far more in Moria."
"When the opportunity arises, we can trade again."
Thranduil knew exactly how valuable mithril was. He was genuinely tempted, and wasted no words.
"Stone Giants are living beings."
"And all living beings require sustenance—Stone Giants included."
"They feed on stone. The finer the stone, the more they favor it."
"Gemstones, in particular."
"I can say with certainty that if you offered them the Arkenstone to eat, they would agree to your request."
The words landed.
Oh?
The Arkenstone?
If the Stone Giants devoured the Arkenstone… what would that idiot Thorin Oakenshield do then?