"AAAAAAAAAAAAH?!" I shrieked, my voice reaching a high pitch so violently it sounded like a teenage boy going through puberty a second time.
The six-eyed, saliva-dripping mutant wolf didn't seem to care about my comedic timing. It lunged, its massive hind legs kicking up a spray of dark, rotting mud as it launched itself through the air toward me. Its jaws snapped open, revealing a cavernous maw of jagged, acidic teeth that looked like they belonged in a deep-sea nightmare.
I didn't think. I couldn't think. Panic seized the steering wheel of my brain and slammed its foot on the gas pedal.
I squeezed my eyes shut, gripped the smooth wooden handle of the All-Purpose Farming Tool with both hands, and swung the heavy metal head down toward the earth with every single ounce of pathetic strength my overweight body could muster.
THWACK!!!
The blade of the hoe struck the forest floor. And then, something completely insane happened.
The earth split apart like butter being cut by a hot knife. A massive, perfectly formed trench—three feet deep, five feet wide, and stretching exactly ten yards forward—instantly exploded into existence directly in front of me. The dirt practically vaporized, leaving behind a pristine, aerated furrow of tilled soil.
The mutant wolf, currently mid-leap and completely defying the laws of physics, suddenly found that the ground it was planning to land on no longer existed.
The beast let out a very confused, very un-intimidating "Yelp!" as it plummeted face-first into the freshly dug trench. It hit the soft, tilled dirt with a heavy, wet thud, its six eyes spinning dizzily as it became completely buried under an avalanche of perfectly leveled topsoil.
I didn't stick around to see if it liked gardening.
"NO!NO!NO!NO! NO! SO MUCH NO!" I hollered, spinning around on my heels and sprinting in the exact opposite direction.
Calling it 'sprinting' is a generous exaggeration. It was more of a frantic, panicked waddle. My heavy thighs chafed together violently with every step, my lungs immediately setting themselves on fire as I forced my body to move faster than a speed walk for the first time in two years. Vines whipped at my face, massive ferns slapped against my torn Kuoh Academy uniform, and the thick, humid air of the Forest of Death felt like I was breathing through a wet sponge.
"I'm going to die! I'm going to have a heart attack and die!" I wheezed, my chest heaving like a broken bellows.
I pushed through a dense thicket of glowing purple mushrooms, entirely ignoring the fact that they were probably highly toxic, and practically fell down a steep, moss-covered embankment. I tumbled head over heels, clutching my magic axe to my chest like a teddy bear, until I slammed into something hard and unyielding.
"Oof!"
I blinked the mud out of my eyes and looked up. I had crashed into the exposed root system of a tree so unfathomably massive that its trunk looked like a wooden skyscraper. The roots alone were the size of city buses, weaving in and out of the earth to create a natural, cavernous hollow beneath the trunk.
I heard a distant, furious howl echo from the direction I had just come from. The gardening enthusiast was awake, and it sounded profoundly unhappy.
My survival instincts, honed from two years of dodging aggressive debt collectors, kicked into overdrive. I scrambled backward on my hands and knees, dragging myself into the darkest, deepest corner of the root-cave. I wedged my fat, trembling body between two massive wooden pillars, pulled my knees to my chest, and clamped my dirty hands over my mouth to muffle my heavy, wheezing breaths.
I sat there in the dark, shivering in the humid heat, waiting.
Ten minutes passed. Then twenty. The terrifying roars of the monster wolf gradually faded into the distance, replaced by the ambient, alien hum of the forest's oversized insect life.
I slowly let out a breath, lowering my hands from my face. I was safe. For now.
"Okay," I muttered, my voice barely a whisper. "Okay, Ard. Deep breaths. You made it. You survived. Now, it's time to figure out how to actually live in this nightmare."
I leaned my head back against the rough bark of the root and closed my eyes. 'System,' I called out in my mind. 'Open Status.'
If I was going to survive, I needed to know exactly what I was working with. I expected a glorious, glowing interface filled with numbers, experience bars, and a clear path to becoming overpowered.
A sleek, translucent blue holographic screen immediately hummed into existence in front of my face. I eagerly leaned forward, my eyes scanning the text.
[STATUS]
Name: Ard Voldigoad
Title: The Reincarnated Meat-Sack (Self-Appointed)
Level: 1
Strength: 1
Speed: 1
Stamina: 1
Endurance: 1
Vitality: 1
MP (Mana Points): 1
[UNIQUE SKILLS]
[Foolish One (Sub-skills: High Affinity, Mystic Learner, Natural Flow)
lOnline Grocery (System Integrated)]
[COMMON SKILLS]
[Common Skill Creation (1/1 charges available. Cooldown: 24 Hours)]
[Common Item Creation (1/1 charges available. Cooldown: 24 Hours)]
I stared at the screen.
I blinked. I rubbed my eyes with a muddy fist, leaving a streak of dirt across my forehead, and looked again.
"One," I whispered, the sheer, staggering horror of my reality crashing over me. "Everything is... a one."
I knew my body was garbage. I knew I was overweight, out of shape, and practically allergic to cardio. But seeing it quantified in a digital format felt like a personal attack.
"Strength, one. Speed, one," I read aloud, my voice dripping with despair. "My Stamina is a one?! No wonder I nearly coughed up a lung after running for thirty seconds! An average human has to be at least a ten! I am literally freaking worse than an NPC villager!"
But the absolute worst part, the ultimate insult to my newly acquired magical dreams, was the final line.
"MP... One," I choked out, staring at the screen in disbelief. "I have the 'Foolish One' skill! I have High Magic Affinity! I have the potential to learn any magic in the universe, and my mana pool is a single point?! What am I going to cast?! A mild static shock?! Can I even light a candle with one MP?!"
I hung my head, burying my face in my hands. The universe was still laughing at me.
CLAP!
"Alright," I slapped my cheeks, leaving muddy handprints on my face. "No more crying. Let's check the quest log. If this is an RPG system, there has to be a beginner quest. Something like 'Kill 3 Slimes' or 'Build a Campfire' to get me some easy EXP."
'System,' I thought. 'Open Quest Log.'
The blue screen blinked, then text scrolled across the center.
[Notice. The Innovate System does not utilize a Quest framework. Your path is your own. Survive, adapt, and innovate.]
I stared blankly at the text.
"No quests," I said flatly. "You're telling me I'm dropped into the Forest of Death, with all my stats at one, completely blind, and I don't even get a tutorial prompt?! What kind of sandbox nightmare is this?! How am I supposed to level up?! Do I just have to punch trees until I get stronger?!"
The system didn't respond. It just floated there, glowing innocently.
"Fine!" I threw my hands up in the air. "Fine. We're doing this the hard way. Masochist mode engaged. First things first: I need a base. It's getting dark, and I am not sleeping out in the open where six-eyed freak-wolves can use me as a chew toy."
I looked around the massive root-cave I was currently hiding in. It was spacious—about the size of a small living room—with a dirt floor and thick, impenetrable walls made of ancient wood. It was a perfect natural bunker. I just needed to secure the entrance.
I picked up the All-Purpose Farming Tool. "Okay, buddy. Let's see what else you can do."
I focused my mind, imagining a hand saw. The divine magic of the tool pulsed. In a fraction of a second, the wooden shaft shrunk, and the metal blade morphed, flattening out and sprouting sharp, jagged teeth. It was now a perfectly pristine, heavy-duty saw.
"Oh, that is incredibly satisfying," I grinned.
I waddled over to a pile of thick, fallen branches lying near the entrance of my root-cave. I set the saw against the wood and pushed.
It sliced through the thick, alien timber like a hot knife through butter. I didn't even have to exert any pressure; the magic of the tool did all the work. Within ten minutes, I had cut several massive logs and wedged them tightly into the entrance of the root-cave, creating a sturdy, wooden barricade. I left a small gap at the top for ventilation and a tiny peek-hole, but otherwise, my new home was sealed tight.
"Phase one complete: Secure a bunker," I wheezed, collapsing onto the dirt floor, entirely exhausted. My stamina was already flashing a warning in my brain. "Phase two... food."
My stomach chose that exact moment to let out a roar that rivaled the mutant wolf.
I hadn't eaten since the sad bento box incident at Kuoh Academy. I was starving, my blood sugar was crashing, and I was stressed out of my mind. It was time for my ultimate weapon.
'System,' I thought, my mouth already watering. 'Open Online Grocery.'
The interface shifted. The sleek blue text vanished, replaced by a vibrant, colorful webpage that looked exactly like the digital storefront of AEON, one of Japan's largest supermarket chains. The top of the screen displayed a digital wallet.
[Balance: 0 Yen]
Right. I needed money. The goddess had tweaked the skill so I could sell items of value to the system in exchange for grocery credits.
I looked around my dark dirt cave. Near the back wall, growing out of the damp soil, was a small cluster of those glowing purple mushrooms I had tumbled past earlier. They pulsed with a soft, ethereal light.
I crawled over, carefully snapped one off at the stem, and held it up to the interface.
"Uh, system? Deposit item?" I asked awkwardly.
A small, swirling black vortex appeared beneath the interface screen. Holding my breath, I dropped the glowing purple mushroom into the vortex. It vanished with a soft bloop.
[Item Appraised: Nocturne Spore. (Common Alchemy Ingredient)]
[Value: 800 Yen]
[Balance: 800 Yen]
My jaw hit the dirt floor. "Eight hundred yen?! For one freaking mushroom?!"
I looked at the cluster of mushrooms on the wall. There were at least ten more of them. I was sitting on a goldmine!
"I'm rich!" I laughed hysterically, immediately harvesting four more mushrooms and tossing them into the system vortex.
[Balance: 4,000 Yen]
I rubbed my hands together like a cartoon villain. "Oh, the things I'm going to buy. Let's go shopping."
I navigated the virtual aisles with the precision of a seasoned housewife. I bypassed the raw ingredients—I didn't have a fire to cook with yet—and went straight to the prepared foods section. My eyes scanned the glorious, high-definition images of bentos, sushi platters, and fried foods.
Click. Premium Pork Cutlet Bento. 900 Yen.
Click. 2-Liter Bottle of Oolong Tea. 250 Yen.
Click. Jumbo Melon Pan. 150 Yen.
Click. Pack of Wet Wipes. 300 Yen.
"Purchase!" I slammed my finger against the holographic 'Checkout' button.
The vortex swirled again, but this time, it spat items out. A white plastic grocery bag materialized in the air and dropped perfectly into my lap.
I practically ripped the bag open. The smell of the pork cutlet bento hit my nose, and I swear to whatever gods were listening, I teared up. It was warm. The system actually kept the prepared food at the perfect temperature.
I snapped the cheap wooden chopsticks apart and shoved a massive piece of fried pork and white rice into my mouth.
"Oh my god," I moaned, chewing frantically. "It's so good. It's so incredibly good."
After two years of eating boiled weeds, instant ramen, and stale bread to pay off a deadbeat family's debt, eating a fresh, premium convenience store bento felt like a religious experience. The pork was crispy, the sauce was savory and sweet, and the rice was fluffy and perfect. I washed it down with massive gulps of cold Oolong tea, the crisp liquid soothing my raw throat.
Within five minutes, I had entirely demolished the bento and the melon pan. I let out a loud, highly un-dignified burp, wiping my greasy mouth with the back of my hand.
"Phase two complete," I sighed happily, leaning back against the dirt wall. "I am fed, I am hydrated, and I have a safe room."
I tore open the pack of wet wipes and began scrubbing the thick, foul-smelling mud off my face and hands. The cold, wet sensation was incredibly refreshing. As I cleaned myself up, my mind began to clear. The panic of the chase faded, replaced by the cold, hard logic of my situation.
I was at the bottom of the food chain in a forest where the wildlife looked like sleep paralysis demons. I had no stats, no combat experience, and no offensive magic.
"But I have a brain," I muttered to myself. "And I have a system I can abuse."
I pulled up my status screen again, staring at the pathetic row of '1's.
"If there are no quests, then leveling up has to be done manually," I deduced. "Like a real-world RPG. If I want my Strength and Stamina to go up, I need to exercise. I need to lift things, run, and push my body to its breaking point. If I want my MP to go up, I need to constantly exhaust it until my 'mana muscle' grows."
It was a daunting realization. There were no shortcuts. No magical level-ups that would instantly transform me into a ripped, six-pack-sporting protagonist. I was going to have to do the single hardest thing for a reincarnated otaku to do: I was going to have to work out.
"Fine," I grumbled, poking my squishy stomach. "I hate you, fat. We are going to war. Starting tomorrow, I am doing push-ups until my arms fall off."
But physical training wouldn't be enough to survive the Forest of Death. I needed a tactical advantage. I looked at the bottom of my status screen.
[Common Skill Creation (1/1 charges available)]
[Common Item Creation (1/1 charges available)]
I hadn't used my daily creations yet. I needed to be smart about this. If I could only make 'Common' things, I needed things that provided immense utility.
"I'm sitting in a dark cave, surrounded by unknown flora," I analyzed. "I don't know what's safe to touch, what's safe to eat, or what will melt my hand off."
'System,' I commanded. 'Activate Common Skill Creation. I want the skill [Basic Appraisal].'
The system hummed.
[Processing Request... Basic Appraisal falls under Common Tier classification. Skill Synthesized.]
[New Skill Acquired: Basic Appraisal (Lv.1)]
I felt a sudden, sharp pressure behind my eyes, followed by a rush of cool energy. I blinked, and the world looked slightly different. I focused my gaze on a stray rock near my foot.
[Stone. Good for throwing. Hardness: Normal.]
I looked at the wooden logs blocking my entrance.
[Ironwood Log. Extremely durable. Highly resistant to physical damage.]
"Yes!" I pumped my fist in the air. "Information is power. Now I won't accidentally pick up a poisonous snake thinking it's a cool stick."
Now, for the item. I had a saw and a axe from my divine tool, but the Farming Tool could only be one thing at a time. I needed a dedicated survival tool. A weapon I could keep at my side at all times without needing to transform it. Since I couldn't buy weapons from AEON, I had to make one.
'System,' I thought. 'Activate Common Item Creation. I want a standard, military-grade survival knife. High-carbon steel, serrated edge on the back.'
[Processing Request... Modern Survival Knife falls under Common Tier classification. Item Synthesized.]
A flash of white light illuminated my dark dirt cave. When it faded, a heavy, pristine survival knife with a matte black blade and a textured rubber grip dropped into my lap, complete with a tactical thigh sheath.
I picked it up. It felt heavy, balanced, and incredibly lethal. It wasn't Excalibur, but against a normal animal, it would do severe damage. Against a mutant wolf... well, it was better than my bare hands.
"Perfect," I whispered, strapping the sheath to my thigh. "I am officially armed."
I checked my system clock. It was pushing midnight in this new world. The adrenaline crash was hitting me hard. My eyelids felt like they were made of lead, and every muscle in my body ached with a dull, throbbing pain.
I used the rest of my grocery credits to buy a cheap, insulated camping sleeping bag for 3,000 Yen. I unrolled it on the relatively dry dirt floor, crawled inside, and zipped it up to my chin.
The forest outside was howling with terrifying noises—screeches, roars, and the heavy thud of massive footsteps shaking the earth. But inside my little root-cave, fortified by ironwood logs and armed with a survival knife and a magic hoe, I felt a strange sense of peace.
I closed my eyes, and my mind drifted back to the void. I remembered the radiant pink silhouette. I remembered the feeling of her lips against mine, the absolute warmth of her soul, and her promise.
"I'll wait for you."
"I have a wife," I muttered into the darkness, a goofy, exhausted smile spreading across my dirty face. "I literally have a divine goddess waiting for me to get strong enough to see her again. I am the luckiest fat guy in the multiverse."
I curled onto my side, gripping the handle of my survival knife tightly.
"I'm going to survive this forest," I vowed, the absolute certainty of my promise ringing in my own ears. "I'm going to grind my stats, I'm going to learn magic, and I'm going to turn this hellscape into my personal farm. Tomorrow, the grind begins."
With that final thought, the sheer exhaustion of dying, reincarnating, and nearly getting eaten by a six-eyed wolf finally caught up to me. I drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep, the Innovate System pulsing quietly in my mind.