A timid knock came at Hades' office door. His mouth curled in a pleasant smile. As a therapist, he shouldn't play favourites; but of all the patients he'd had so far, Anubis was the least troublesome. If it weren't for the constraints of their therapist-patient relationship, he might have even called Anubis a friend.
"Come in!" Hades called, already rising to his feet and stepping out from behind his desk. The corners of his mouth turned downward as his steps faltered and his greetings died on the tip of his tongue.
Anubis looked haggard, and that was putting it kindly. Unlike the last time, when he'd arrived dressed in full splendour and carried himself with regal, albeit weary grace, Anubis now wore only a simple linen shendyt and sandals. Hades could count each rib on his exposed torso, and the exhaustion in Anubis' eyes was even more pronounced.
"Good day to you, Aidoneus. Have you been faring well?" Anubis asked with a tired smile.
As he approached, Hades caught a faint, sweet floral scent wafting off him.
"Better than you, I think. You've postponed your appointment thrice now; I was beginning to worry you'd given up on therapy. Please, take a seat," Hades gestured to the couch.
"I know I look like the mummies I deal with every day, but you don't exactly look like a fresh daisy yourself, my friend." Anubis lowered himself onto the couch with a groan and sighed in relief as he rested against the cushions, eyes closed.
Hades chuckled. "Yes, the last few weeks have been trying. My ferryman, Charon, lost some souls he was meant to transport. And there's been an abnormal influx of new arrivals due to a plague in the mortal lands. It's been all hands on deck in the Underworld." Even Melinoë, Zagreus and Hekate had to step in and help with some of the duties.
"Ah. I too have been dealing with a plague and all sorts of upheaval in my realm. It seems Sekhmet and Set are trying to out-do each other as far as which of them can cause the most chaos. And who has to clean up all the dead left in their wake?" Anubis growled.
"Is that why you've been postponing your appointment?"
Anubis nodded. "Too much to be done. And once again, the others fail to give a second thought to everything I do while they wreak havoc on the world."
Hades crossed his legs. "Last time you were here, I asked you to take a day off to relax and jot down any thoughts or feelings that came to mind throughout the day. Did you do that?"
Anubis averted his gaze.
"Anubis?" Hades prompted.
The jackal-faced god growled. "I tried. It wasn't for me. I'm not built for leisure or frolicking in a field of flowers. Death is my domain. And as exhausting as the work is, I do enjoy it. Guiding the mummification process, performing the funerary rites, weighing hearts, leading souls, protecting tombs," Anubis listed, raising a finger for each duty. "These are my responsibilities, and I uphold them without fail, without rest because mortals don't stop dying. I've come to find a sense of peace in the repeated monotony."
"It's a good thing you enjoy your work; very few can say the same. But it's unhealthy to let your job consume your entire life and become your whole identity. You don't want to reach the end of your very long existence and realize you never truly lived."
Anubis let out a very dog-like snort. "Enjoying life to the fullest is a luxury for short-lived mortals. What we gods have can't be called life."
"What would you call it then?"
"That's a question for the wise and philosophical ones, like Thoth or your Athena. Maybe even you, as Lord of the Underworld, could tell me what 'life' means for us gods," said Anubis.
"You're a death god yourself. You must have some idea of what life and death mean to you," Hades countered.
Anubis gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I merely preside over funeral rites and ensure the path between death and the afterlife is safely traversed. My 'clients' are usually mortals. Osiris is the only god whose death I've ever presided over."
His ears which had flopped down as he spoke suddenly perked up, and his pupils narrowed to pinpricks. "Of course, once he was successfully resurrected, he took over my role as ruler and judge of the dead, and I became what I am now."
Interesting.
"Do you harbour any resentment or ill feelings toward Osiris?" Hades asked, tapping his pen on the notebook he'd yet to flip open.
Anubis' eyes widened in alarm. "Of course not! He's my father, and I'm glad that he lives again. What ill feelings could I possibly have for him?"
"But?" Hades prompted him to continue.
"But nothing," Anubis said, shaking his head.
In denial of his own feelings, even though they're clear as day, Hades wrote down. Might be a closet masochist too.
Of course, he didn't mean that in a sexual sense but if the Egyptian pantheon was anything like the Olympians, Anubis' proclivities might very well lean that way too.
Hades tapped his fingers on the open page of his notebook, studying his patient. Anubis avoided his gaze until Hades' unwavering stare became too much. Claws extended from Anubis' hands, tearing through the upholstery of the couch.
Hades held back a grimace. The new couches were a gift from Hestia; the only Olympian he adored without reservation aside from Hermes.
Anubis wilted under Hades' disgruntled stare, mistaking it for censure.
"Fine! Maybe I am a bit resentful about having my position usurped. I used to be the ruler of the Duat! I've been demoted and saddled with extra responsibilities. It's as if everyone has forgotten that Osiris' position used to be mine now that I've been pushed into the background!" Anubis exploded.
He'd shifted to the edge of his seat, like he was about to stand, his lips curled back to reveal sharp canines.
"Understandable," Hades nodded.
Embarrassed by his outburst, Anubis cleared his throat, his posture rigid. "But that doesn't diminish my respect and admiration for Osiris. I know he didn't ask for any of this, and he does have other duties to attend to," he added. "You know what? This is actually all Set's fault! I wouldn't be feeling all these unnecessary emotions toward Osiris if Set hadn't killed him in the first place. Maybe I should redirect my anger at him instead."
"Or," Hades cut in before Anubis could grow more incensed. "You deal with all that building frustration. Find a healthy, safe outlet to blow off steam. And stop treating yourself like a machine programmed only to work."
"But if I blame Set, then I have to blame my mother too for having an affair with Osiris and siring me in the process," Anubis went on, as if Hades hadn't spoken at all. "So is it my fault, then, that Osiris was killed in the first place? Is Amun-Ra punishing me for the accident of my birth by having Osiris take my place and overshadow me?" He babbled, becoming increasingly agitated.
"Anubis!" Hades released a small burst of divine energy to snap him out of his spiral.
Anubis jolted, blinking rapidly. He pressed a hand to his chest. "My heart's racing. It had been an age since it felt this way… Like it wants to break out of my chest. Or the last time my lungs felt this tight. But... it's been happening a lot these past few weeks."
Hades stood and walked to his desk. He opened a drawer, pulled out a decanter of ambrosia, and poured a glass. As a therapist, he wouldn't normally recommend using substances to manage stress, at least not for mortals. But gods played by different rules. And ambrosia was known for its calming effects.
"Sounds like you might be having panic attacks," he said, offering Anubis the glass before returning to his seat. He waited until Anubis took a few sips before continuing. "Is it just the racing heart and chest tightness, or does it get worse?"
Anubis raised the glass, letting Hades see his trembling hand. "I usually have to stop working until the shaking passes. And there's always this heavy, ominous feeling. Like something terrible is about to happen, and I won't be able to stop it."
Hades nodded and made a note. "Was this already happening when you came in for your first session?"
"No," Anubis said. "It started a few days after Set and Sekhmet began stirring up trouble again. But I've found that smoking hul gil helps calm me down."
Hades quietly scribbled two words into his notes: self-medicating.
"You do realize what's been triggering these anxiety attacks, don't you?"
Anubis sighed. "You're going to say it's because I'm overworked."
"Because you are," Hades retorted. "You're burning yourself out and refusing to make time for self-care, both physical and mental. You need to set boundaries, Anubis. Find a way to balance your duties with a personal life. You don't have to shoulder everything on your own."
Anubis was already shaking his head. "I can't."
"Yes, you absolutely can. The world isn't going to fall apart just because you take a day off now and then. What more proof do you need than the mental and physical toll this is taking on you? Or do you seriously believe it's rational to blame yourself for Osiris's death and the shift in your role as a god?"
Anubis blinked. "Isn't there any other way besides taking time off work?" he whined.
"Time off is essential," Hades said firmly. "If a full day feels like too much, then start with half days. Commit to delegating tasks—without hovering over your subordinates and micro-managing them. And if you're short on manpower, hire more support."
Anubis looked horrified.
"Didn't you train your subordinates yourself?" Hades asked, raising a brow.
"I did. I do, but—"
"No buts. You're a perfectionist bordering on the point of obsession, so I have no doubt you've trained them thoroughly. Now it's time to trust that they'll do the job you prepared them for."
"Did you not say that Charon lost souls he was supposed to be transporting? He was trained well too, I bet," Anubis shot back belligerently.
"He was trained well which is why we were able to locate the lost souls in the end. And look, the Underworld is still standing and functioning just fine after that incident. I'm here in this office with you, not supervising every single process that happens here and things are still running smoothly in my absence," Hades pointed out. "You could even use your time off to spend time with Osiris to start mending fences between you two," he added.
"Maybe," Anubis grumbled. "And you think this'll stop the panic attacks?"
"Not immediately, no. But there are techniques to manage the anxiety like breathing exercises, meditation... even keeping a journal. Writing things down can help you process your feelings or whatever you're dealing with at the time."
"If you say so," Anubis mumbled.
Was he pouting? Hades couldn't quite tell.
"I do say so. You can start small maybe take half a day off, then work up to full days, and eventually even a short sabbatical. Taking time for yourself isn't weakness, it's essential. If you're in a good place, your work will benefit from that as well. Which brings me to your next assignment."
He fixed Anubis with a firm look.
"Before your next appointment, I want you to take at least three half-days off. During that time, find activities you enjoy; ones with no connection to your work. No matter how busy you are, I want you to pick at least one of those activities and come back ready to tell me all about it."
Anubis whined. "You've set the bar too high, Aidoneus. I'll probably just sit in my chambers and stare at the walls the whole time."
Hades smiled. "As long as your mind is off work and you're giving yourself a moment of peace, that's a good start."