I took a deep breath, realizing that we had arrived at the resting spot. I was about to sit under a tree when Jay stopped me.
"Dan, you'll get dirty."
"It's okay."
He took off his jacket. "Can I lay this on the ground for you?"
"But..."
"This is the jacket you bought for me, so I have to ask for permission."
"It's yours now. I bought it for you."
"Ok," Jay replied as he placed it down. I thanked him and sat down. Jay sat beside me. I leaned against the tree trunk, feeling exhausted. I didn't expect the hike, which North had mentioned, to be this tiring. The path was steep and slippery near the waterfall. I looked around and saw everyone resting under the shade of the trees.
"The sky is cloudy, but the sun is bright. Strange."
"It will rain in two hours," Jay said.
"In two hours, we won't be here anymore." I stretched out my legs to relieve my fatigue.
"Are you tired?"
"Yes."
"I'll massage you."
"No, it's okay," I quickly refused. I looked around and saw Phi Hill, Phi TonFah, and Tiger massaging their partners.
"Aren't you tired?"
Jay shook his head. "Let me massage you."
"Alright, if you insist," I said, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Did you enjoy this hike?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because you look exhausted," he said while concentrating on massaging my legs.
I smiled. "You're too worried. Just because I'm tired, you didn't enjoy it?"
"Yes."
"What if we didn't consider me?"
"How could I not consider you? I don't like seeing you struggle."
"But I'm enjoying this. The scenery is beautiful, and the atmosphere is pleasant."
"That's good," he said, his voice softening. "Why don't you let me carry you?"
"That's dangerous," I said. "The path is steep and slippery."
"I can do it."
"No, I won't let you."
"Alright," Jay said, looking a little disappointed.
"You want to carry me? I'm heavy."
Jay nodded. "I'm strong."
"Are you bragging?" I smiled, feeling amused. After a while, I heard North's voice near me.
"Dan, Dan!" I turned to see him, looking excited and cheerful. North had been chatting with everyone, despite complaining about being tired. Now it was my turn.
He sat beside me, touching Jay's jacket.
"Oh, he laid this down for you, huh?" He nudged me.
"What's up?"
"Do you need to pee? If so, do it now. Otherwise, you'll wet yourself when you hear this."
"You're going to have children with Phi Johan, right?"
North looked confused. "Can you read minds?"
"I heard. You told everyone," I answered honestly. "Congratulations. You'll be a great dad." I smiled, knowing how much North loved children. He smiled.
"There's more. We just decided."
"What happened?"
"We want to have twins," my friend said with a wide grin. "One baby is adorable, but twins will be twice as cute! So, I wanted to ask you how to make siblings love each other, like you and Nao."
"Hm," I frowned, thinking. "Maybe you should ask Mom."
"I already did, and she told me to ask you because you're the one who made you two get along. You two weren't close before, right? Nao even ignored your parents when they tried to teach him to love his sibling, but you made it happen."
"Ah," I nodded, recalling my childhood and smiling. "It's not that we weren't close, but Nao didn't really like me at first. Maybe because I cared about him too much. When he realized that, he actually got closer to me."
"I see."
"North, you'll be able to do it."
"I will."
"I support you."
North leaned in and whispered, "Do you want kids?"
"I don't know, I haven't thought about it," I answered honestly, noticing Jay watching us with an unhappy expression. It was the first time I had seen him like that.
"Oops," North said. "Sorry, you're jealous, aren't you?"
Jay frowned. "Jealous?"
"North," I called, and he looked at me with an innocent expression.
"You don't like me being close to Dan, do you?" North asked Jay, who nodded in response. "So, what is this?" North grabbed my hand.
Jay's frown deepened, his tone different from his usual calm demeanor. "Let go."
North whispered again. "He won't do anything to me, right?"
"He won't. But what are you doing?"
"Okay," North replied, moving closer. "You don't like it?"
"No. Can you stop? Please?"
"Do you have the right to tell me what to do?"
Jay fell silent before North pulled away.
"I mean, if you don't want anyone getting close to Dan, you need to have that right first," North explained. "And that's not just a feeling of a sibling or an acquaintance."
"North," I called, shaking his arm. "What are you doing?"
"I had to say it. I can't talk to him alone, so I said it in front of you. Just deal with the embarrassment."
I froze, my face feeling hot.
"Dan, why are you blushing?"
"Ah, it's just..."
"He's embarrassed," North cut in. "This is what embarrassment looks like. A flushed face, not knowing what to do, a racing heartbeat. Has this ever happened to you with Dan?"
Jay looked calmer now that North had moved away. "Yes, but I don't know if I blush."
"Oooohhh," North dragged out his voice. "That's what I meant." Then he stood up.
"Looks like we should continue our hike. If you have any questions, ask Dan. And don't worry, I'm not interested in Dan."
"North, wait." I tried to stop him, but it was useless. He couldn't just throw that statement out and walk away. I slowly turned to Jay, feeling nervous.
"What does jealousy and embarrassment mean? Am I jealous? 'Not just the feeling of a sibling or acquaintance'—what does that mean?"
"Ah... mmmm."
"If I don't want others getting close to Dan, I need to have that right first. How do I get that right?"
"Ah, well..." I fell silent; Jay's question was hard to answer. If it were anyone else, maybe it would be easier to respond, but Jay was feeling embarrassed and jealous because of me. How was I supposed to explain it?
"Uh," I could only let out a vague sound, my heart pounding, my face hot, my hands not knowing where to go.
"Dan?" Jay looked confused by my behavior. "Are you embarrassed?"
What do I do with this innocent and straightforward guy?
"Dan," Nao called me. I immediately turned around. "Aren't you coming? The others already left."
"Yeah, I'm coming." I unconsciously grabbed Nao's arm and pulled him along.
"What's wrong?"
"Let's go. Jay, you go ahead, I need to talk to Nao."
"Alright," Jay replied, still looking confused, walking behind us from a distance.
I whispered to Nao. "Nao."
"What is it? Whoa, your face is really red. What happened? It's weird seeing you like this."
"It's North's fault."
"What did he do?"
"North dropped a bomb and then left," I whispered, telling him everything. Hearing it, Nao laughed.
"Shh! Don't laugh too loud, Jay is watching."
"And you're holding my arm, is that okay?"
"I think it's fine. Nao, help me."
"Hahaha! This is adorable, you look so nervous," Nao seemed to enjoy my situation.
I felt so embarrassed I didn't know what to do.
"That kid doesn't know anything. He always relies on you to learn everything, so it's natural for him to ask you."
"But what should I tell him? I can't."
"He's jealous and embarrassed because he wants to be your partner. If he wants the right to be jealous, he has to be your partner first."
I immediately shook my head. "No, I can't say that to him. Who dares to say that?"
"Exactly," I nodded. Nao was still smiling. "This is so funny, hahaha. Want me to tell him? If someone else says it, it won't be weird."
"No, I don't want that."
"Why are you so nervous?"
"I don't know. Are you not nervous with Tiger?"
"Not really. In my case, we've been friends for a long time, slept in the same room, always together. How could I be nervous?" said Nao. "If that's the case, just let the person who dropped the bomb handle it."
"Letting North explain to Jay? Wouldn't that make things worse? Last time, North said if it were him, he would say, 'Yes, I like you. Let's get married.'"
"But North gives good advice," Nao said, thinking. "When I asked him for advice, he was very helpful, even though he wasn't neutral. At first, he said he would be neutral, but then he kept siding with Tiger non-stop. North has grown a lot. If he became the captain of a ship, that ship would turn into a spaceship."
"A spaceship?"
"I've explained this to you before."
"That means the relationship will move very fast?"
"Yes, like a rocket."
"I prefer to take things slowly."
"Then go and talk to North."
Nao stared at Jay. "He's not stopping looking at us. You have to give him an answer."
"I can't."
"Let North handle it."
"No, you explain it to him, but in a neutral way, without giving the impression that Jay likes me."
"No," Nao suddenly said. "North started this, so he should finish it. I'll tell him."
"Is this a good idea?"
"Yes."
"But in a neutral way."
"I'll do it." Nao went to find North. I followed him with my eyes, feeling worried.
"Huh?"
"You started this, now finish it."
"Why don't you tell Jayden yourself?"
"Who has the courage?" said Nao. "If it were you, would you do it?"
"No," I admitted. "But someone has to do it. Otherwise, this will never move forward. Other couples would already be together, but Jayden knows nothing about love. We have to teach him."
"Then you teach him. And since you want to do it slowly, you have to give a neutral answer to Jay."
"Alright, I'll do it. You have to take responsibility for your actions."
"Exactly."
"What did Dan say?"
"Talk to him in a neutral way, without giving the impression that he likes Dan."
"I'll do it."
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
"Jayden, you like Dan."
"Huh?" Jayden looked confused when I suddenly approached him. I crossed my arms, trying to suppress my excitement about being a mediator again, even though it had been a while.
"From now on, I'll teach you," I told him.
"Teach?"
"I mean," I pointed at him, "calling you Jayden is too long, can I call you Jay like Dan?"
He shook his head.
"Ah," I thought maybe it was something special, like how Tiger only let Nao call him 'Suea'. "Alright, Jayden is fine too. So, can you call me 'leader' and I'll teach you?"
"Leader?"
"Yes. Good," I said, feeling very proud. Becoming a leader for Jayden, nothing less than that. I had heard his story from Tiger, who explained that he was a highly skilled assassin, well-known in his field, but he made a mistake, his group was defeated by Tiger's group, and he was imprisoned when Dan was kidnapped.
He saved him and became his savior. But according to Nao's story, Jayden was now like a big dog that always followed its owner everywhere, breathing and living for Dan. If he really loved him, he would be as dedicated as Tiger.
Phi Joe understood this, and there was no problem.
"Ahem," I cleared my throat. "Look, kid," I wanted to put my arm around his shoulder, but I couldn't reach him. Kids these days are too tall. What do they eat? "How tall are you?" Jayden was only nineteen, but he was almost as tall as Phi Joe and Tiger. "Forget it. We're talking about jealousy and embarrassment, right?"
"Yes."
"Dan asked me to tell you."
"Yes."
"You like Dan, that's all."
He still looked confused, so I continued explaining, using hand gestures while speaking.
"It starts when you see someone very adorable, you're attracted to them in every way, you keep thinking about them, you always want to be near them or at least see them, because they make you feel good and happy. Then comes jealousy, you don't want them to be close to others or others to approach them. How big that jealousy is depends on the person. Like Jayden, I can't even get close to him or hold his hand because I'm a stranger he just met and he doesn't trust me."
"Yes."
"Jealousy can appear in family love, but in this case, it seems to be more than that. Then comes embarrassment. You get nervous when you're near the person you like, as I mentioned before. In the end, you start thinking about the future with them, just the two of you, without anyone else."
"Hmm."
"That's romantic love. In Jayden's case, maybe it's already love."
"Dan said that liking is wanting something."
"Yes, but love is the desire to take care of them. What do you think, Jayden?" He didn't answer, but he seemed to have a response in his mind. "And if you don't want others to approach Dan, you have to have that right first. You don't call Dan 'phi', do you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Dan said I have to feel respect first before calling him that."
"Why don't you do it? Doesn't Dan deserve respect?"
He frowned, then shook his head.
"Do I deserve respect?"
"No."
"...You said you would call me 'leader', right?"
"Ah, yes, leader."
"As I said, jealousy isn't something you feel for a phi or an acquaintance."
"Ah... yes."
"Don't call him 'phi'. Just call him Dan. If you call him 'phi', you'll always be the 'nong'."
"?"
I scratched my head. Explaining everything was really difficult. I imagined Dan trying to explain it; he would probably die of embarrassment.
"So, do you want to have the right to stop others from approaching Dan?"
"Yes."
"A phi or an acquaintance can't do that. A friend can't either. If you want that right, you have to be his boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?"
"Yes Partner"
He was silent for a moment. "Partner? Me and Dan?"
"Yes," I nodded slowly. "A partner has many privileges, they are one of the most important people."
"Privileges?"
"Yes," I thought for a moment. "Holding hands, hugging, or other things. You can be jealous, always be together, share everything, take care of each other. What else? Many things, you can do it all."
"I can already do that now. Holding hands, hugging, caring."
"But it would be more than that. You could care more than that. The important thing is you can be jealous, no one else will approach Dan, and Dan won't approach anyone else. You will be the only one. Some people don't like these words because it sounds like ownership, but if it stays balanced, it's fine."
He nodded slowly. "Where is that balance?"
"It depends on the person. You should ask Dan what he thinks."
"Then, what do you think?"
"For me, anything is fine. Checking phones, forbidding people from talking to them, total ownership, even chaining them up. Just kidding, but something like that. If he can do it, I can do it too. It has to be fair."
"Checking phones for what?"
"To see if they're talking to someone else."
"I understand. What if I want the right to be jealous of Dan?"
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
"How did it go?" I asked North worriedly as I saw him finish talking to Jay.
"Everything is fine."
"Fine?"
He nodded. "Yes, everything went smoothly."
"What do you mean?"
North patted my shoulder. "Trust me, everything went well."
Nao interrupted. "The word 'trust' from North means there's an eighty percent chance you shouldn't trust him."
"No, I'm serious. Trust me."
"Everything is fine?" Nao asked, just like me. "This doesn't sound convincing."
I frowned. "North, did you say what we discussed? Neutral, without influence."
"I didn't influence," North said seriously. "No bias, no influence, nothing. I just said directly that Jayden likes Dan."
"..." I fell silent. That didn't feel different, but somehow it seemed even further than I expected. "Maybe he doesn't like me."
"Come on," North waved his hand. "I explained everything, from the beginning. What is jealousy? What is embarrassment? What is a partner? The rest, let Jayden decide."
"What did he decide?" Nao asked. "Did you tell him he likes Dan?"
"Yes, because it's true. Do you disagree?"
"I agree," Nao emphasized.
As I listened to them, I couldn't find words to argue. After a while, we switched topics. I walked slower, thinking. Someone approached. I turned, surprised to see Jay. I was shocked because I was just thinking about him.
He handed me his phone. I looked at him, confused.
"What is this?"
"So you can see. Do you want to chain me up too?"
"Huh?"