Ughhh, everything ached. My eyes fluttered open, and I had to lift a hand to shield them from the overhead ceiling light. Even through the glare, though, one thing was perfectly clear.
[Feat Achieved! Villanous Threesome]
[+1 Silver Gacha Ticket]
Right. I really fucking did it, huh.
I felt like I should've been more concerned about my current condition, but...
Totally worth it.
Even if everything in my body ached like a bitch.
Who would've guessed both of them had such intense tastes?
[Rolling Silver Gacha Ticket]
[Novice Shooting]
|Common Skill|
You know how to handle firearms. You are no marksman, but you are as good as the average soldier at aiming and shooting projectiles. You will, however, improve much faster than other people if you choose to train yourself.
I felt my body twitch a little as something inside me changed.
Not bad at all. I'll take being a better shot any day.
I pushed myself up from the couch as quietly as I could. On the far end of the giant couch, Harley grumbled in her sleep, using a pile of all our clothes as both blanket and pillow.
I decided against poking the sleeping bear and went to bother the much more awake dance partner instead.
Ivy was stretched out on another couch, quietly browsing on her phone. She was wearing nothing except a blanket that didn't do much to hide her figure.
Well... not like I hadn't already seen all of it.
That didn't mean I couldn't still appreciate the view.
"Morning," I said with a grin.
She shot me a glance, grunted, and went right back to her phone.
I just chuckled at the cold shoulder. So that's how we were playing it? Back to step one?
I didn't push it and instead sank back into the couch, enjoying the chance to relax. A boon and a bane of Volition was that it kept my head very clear even while my body still felt the aftermath.
Which, unfortunately, meant I had no excuse. No convenient hangover haze to hide behind. Just me, fully conscious and stuck dealing with the consequences.
Probably the first thing I needed to do was check on that alien bullshit. I felt a little bad about leaving it all to my little angel familiar, but what was done was done. Then there was the fact that I'd almost been assassinated and now had six zombies sitting in a basement somewhere. I could already smell the pain in the ass coming off that whole situation.
And last, but definitely not least, there were my more social duties.
Oh, I was going to get so much shit from everyone. Harvey and Cobblepot would likely grill me to hell and back for everything that happened last night.
Damn. I also never got to meet Bruce Wayne.
Man... I hoped the guy wouldn't be too pissed that I never greeted him. I'd have to tell Red Hood to pass along an apology.
So much to do and so little time.
Still, loath as I was to be the guy who vanished the morning after without a word...
Well.
"You think she's gonna wake up anytime this year?" I asked. It was almost twelve o'clock, but Harley hadn't budged an inch. She looked like she was settling in for hibernation.
"Harls was always a late riser, even way back when." Ivy shook her head and let out an exasperated sigh. "She sleeps like a log, especially after a night like that..."
I chuckled at the oddly wistful note in her voice. "Reminiscing?"
"Oh, fuck off." She turned her head away with a faint blush. "Don't get cocky just because we got swept up in the mood last night."
"Of course." I raised my hands in mock surrender. "I'm pretty sure you would've been perfectly happy with only one partner."
"Damn right." Ivy sniffed haughtily and picked up a bottle of water.
"My, my. Were my skills so good you've become enamored?" I gave her a mocking bow. "I'm honored."
She nearly spat out her water and shot me a glare while pounding her chest. "You know that's not what I meant."
"Oh, I know," I smirked. "I'd have to be blind not to notice you were head over heels for Harley."
"Wait." Ivy looked embarrassed. "Was I that obvious?"
"You looked like you were about to cry and murder me at the same time when you walked in last night, so yes." I chuckled. "Although I still don't know why you didn't just ask her out sooner."
"It was too soon." Ivy looked away. "I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship. Everybody says that crap about staying friends after a rejection, but that's bullshit. Hell, I didn't even know if I was her type."
"Well, congratulations. It seems last night answered that question pretty clearly." I teased her, while several very vivid memories of the two of them flashed through my mind. "You can thank my amazing genius."
Ivy turned red again and snorted. "Yeah, yeah... you weren't so bad yourself."
I grinned.
Who would've guessed a supervillainess could be so easy to tease?
Still, as much as I would've loved to keep ribbing her for the rest of the day, I should probably get moving. I could deal with the rest after breakfast.
"Hey, do you want—"
The door clicked open.
I paused mid-sentence and raised an eyebrow.
Speak of the angel, and she shall appear.
Three plates stacked high with breakfast food floated into the room.
"Um..." Ivy just stared, clearly confused.
"Thank you!" I called as the door shut again. I didn't catch sight of the Simurgh, but I grabbed the plate floating toward me anyway.
Fuck yeah. She even got my favorite bagel.
A double bacon, egg, and cheese on a garlic bagel.
I dug in without hesitation, and it tasted amazing.
"Damn..." Ivy mumbled around a bite of hash browns. "How the hell? This is from my favorite diner."
"I know a guy." I lifted my chin.
The slumbering beast known as Harley Quinn finally rose with a yawn. She shuffled over to the plate set in front of her, then lit up immediately.
"Is that the sampler from Barney's? My favorite!"
I let out a quiet sigh and just dug into my own food, appreciating the sight in front of me. Two absolute bombshells, breakfast, and a moment of peace.
The rest of my day was probably going to suck.
But this?
This was pretty damn nice.
—
This was a horrible day.
Ignoring the hits to his dignity...
The much more serious problem had landed squarely on his doorstep. Gotham had its fair share of problems, Bruce would readily admit that, but thankfully, aliens were usually not his purview.
That was not to say there hadn't been any over the years. The Appellaxians. The Dominators. The Reach. Far too many others.
He stood by the Watchtower windows and looked down at the Earth below.
Gotham had faced its share of alien threats, but those were usually larger in scale, the kind that came in the form of full invasions or planet-wide schemes rather than something centered on the city itself.
Metropolis or Central City tended to attract the more star-bound problems.
The last short-lived Apokoliptian invasion in Metropolis was one of them. He would have recognized Darkseid's traces anywhere.
But it seemed that, for good or ill, Darkseid's agents had turned their attention toward Gotham.
The party had left behind multiple leads, enough for Bruce to piece together a rough picture of the night's events, and all it had done was leave him even more confused.
What had Jean Valjean done to anger Darkseid?
Bruce had embarrassingly little knowledge of the Religion of Crime, something he was already mentally chastising himself for. He would rectify that after this meeting. The Question had apparently looked into them before, and Bruce intended to make use of that.
Still, the looming threat of Apokolips was more than enough to justify calling the League together. Any potential invasion of Earth required all hands on deck, especially with many of their members currently on Mars assisting against the Reach.
The meeting room doors slid open.
B'wana Beast strode in first, broad grin already in place. "Batman! My friend, I must say, that takedown of the Joker was inspired. Symbolic, even."
Bruce twitched.
Very slightly.
Then he turned his head and fixed B'wana Beast with a flat stare. "Sit down."
B'wana Beast raised both hands innocently, though his grin did not fade. "Just paying respect where respect is due."
Bruce said nothing. He merely turned back toward the window and tried not to think about how many people had apparently seen that video by now.
The doors opened again.
Guy Gardner walked in laughing before he even fully entered the room. "No way, no way, you're already here talking about it?" He pointed at B'wana Beast, then looked at Bruce and barked out another laugh. "Bats, I gotta say, I didn't think you had that in you."
Bruce's jaw tightened.
Guy dropped into a chair and flicked his ring. A green construct screen sprang to life above his palm, and Bruce immediately recognized the opening frame.
The video.
His video.
Bruce glared. "Turn that off."
Guy only snickered harder as the clip played for all of half a second. "C'mon, it's comedy gold. You should hear the Lantern chats right now."
"Guy Gardner,"
Something in his tone must have gotten through, because Guy coughed, waved the construct away, and leaned back in his seat.
The doors opened a third time.
Booster Gold walked in with a bright, eager expression.
"Batman!" Booster said, pointing as if he'd just spotted a celebrity. "Man, that viral clip? Huge. Absolutely huge. I was actually thinking maybe we could do some kind of collab. Brand synergy, dark vigilante edge, with my glorious gold maybe a—"
He turned so sharply that Booster Gold instantly shut up.
Bruce reached into his belt, pulled out a batarang, and let the metal glint under the Watchtower lights. His voice came out calm and controlled.
"Shall we do a reenactment?"
Booster Gold went pale.
The room fell silent.
Guy looked away, whistling. B'wana Beast cleared his throat and suddenly found the table fascinating.
Booster Gold quickly ran to his seat.
Bruce slowly lowered the batarang.
They remained silent as more leaguers came in.
Good.
Because Bruce wasn't entirely certain he had been joking.
***
Comments and Thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Likes are like a drug to me and boost my creative juices.
I have advanced chapters on my Pa tre on/daisyberry if you wanna read ahead.