Hey guys!
Dude, I found a gif of Tsuyu post time-skip from MHA throwing hella ass and I think I cried from how peak it was. I'll put it in a link here for my QQ readers, but my Webnovel readers gotta just go to Twitter and go to @badjujuarts
I need a girlfriend dude, I'm too gooned out.
Enjoy the show!
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Well ain't this a kick in the pants?
I didn't really know what to expect when Charlie snapped her fingers. I knew she was a good person, but the ticket literally said she was intentionally trying to skirt on the definition of torture for me and her dear old dad, so I didn't know what to expect. However, in only an instant my vision swam in white and I soon saw myself in…An elevator?
I quickly looked around, seeing Lucifer be just as confused as I was along with a few other things. For one, there was an elevator door on our left with a timer on it full of question marks along with a camera in the corner. The elevator was also much bigger than I had expected, somehow being the size of a whole bedroom with fancy ass furniture to boot.
I think I know Charlie's angle here. She's just gonna lock us in here until Lucifer and I have some sort of forgiveness arc, we kiss, we make up, everybody goes home happy. Well unfortunately for her, I was…Totally down for that. Now that my Archfiend pride wasn't acting up and making me ignorant as hell, I could see how annoying Lucifer and I were being. I mean, when they were alive I wouldn't want Alicia shit-talking my dad about getting fucked in his ass.
So instead of trying to press the issue, I sucked my gut in and attempted negotiation-
"Oh no, mister, don't you even try to talk to me." Lucifer said, sticking his cane out at me before crossing his arms. "I don't give a damn about what my daughter says, I am not gonna muck it up with a damn Archfiend."
"Is that what this is about?" I asked incredulously. "You're a grown ass man, well into your hundreds or thousands or however old you are."
"I'm 13,512 years old."
"YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOUR CASE!" I yell before reaching my hands up and pinching the bridge of my nose, attempting to calm down. "Look, I'm gonna level with you, I don't really know why the hell you don't like me but if you were to use your brain, the thing in your head, you would think that us getting along would be better than enemies."
Lucifer looked at me for a moment before letting out a sigh, taking a seat on the floor and putting his hand in his palm. "You wanna know why I don't trust you?" He asked rhetorically, summoning his cane in his hand and extending it to tap my chest. "This right here makes me not want you around my daughter."
"So are you gonna explain what 'that' is or are you just gonna keep being the vague-post king and shit?" I ask, slinking down and taking a seat next to him. Progress is progress I guess.
He sighed again, desummoning his cane and looking at me. "You quite literally can't exist." He says plainly. "I don't know how you were able to do it, but Archfiends are only made through some kind of divine power in nature and anything like that is locked up in Heaven after the flood." He ranted before tapping my chest with his finger.
"And this is also pissing me off, your body is so father-damned weird. Not only do you have the bones of a God, but it looks like one has blessed you while you carry some kind of eldritch thing inside your damn soul along with the arrow in your damn shoulder." He finished, finally running out of steam before groaning and putting the back of his head on the wall. "Whatever you did, I don't trust you not to put Charlie in danger."
Well… I can kinda see where he's coming from. It is hella weird that I somehow got all of these things when I'm in a christian hell without any Hades, rivers of Styx, Valhalla or other afterlives to confirm the existence of other gods aside from the big one. To be honest, I'd also be hella suspicious of myself as well if I was in his shoes and I was around my daughter.
I wasn't gonna tell him about the gacha and the ticket, but I could do a little something. "Listen, don't freak out." I say, not waiting for a response before manifesting B2A and having it roll. If Lucifer could somehow see the ticket and gacha in my soul with a glance, there's no way he couldn't see B2A as well.
Rolling…Rolling…
Jujutsu Kaisen, cursed energy…
Projection Sorcerey…
I opened my eyes, feeling the familiar feeling of cursed energy slot its way back into my chest and looked at Lucifer. He looked much more shook than before, his eyes even widening a bit. "Just like Adam…" He said under his breath before shaking his head and looking at me a bit more gently. "I'm not gonna…I'm not gonna ask how you got something like dad's power, but you still haven't gained my trust yet." He said, digging in his pocket.
After digging out a golden fiddle, a ring with the initials L+L inscribed into it,and a picture of Charlie as a baby, he finally pulled out what he was looking for: a blunt along with a small bag of weed. With barely any effort from him, the blunt and the bag doubled as he passed it to me. "That weed was one of the last things I stole from the Earth before the flood and you are going to smoke it with me."
"...Why?"
"From now until we get outta here, there aren't gonna be any secrets, you hear me? This stuff affects me too, so we both'll just have to tough it out." He says casually, like it's some regular everyday thing to be having a joint with the devil before flicking a thumb up, licks of fire coming off of it before lighting his blunt.
You know what? Screw it. I died at 20, so I never indulged in pot or booze even if Angel Dust tried to put me on cocaine a few times. I said no, but if I was gonna take any deluge at all, why wouldn't it be the safest one while smoking with the literal devil?
It's not like anything bad's gonna happen.
***10 minutes later***
"Alright, do you guys wanna check up on dad and James?" Charlie asked with only a slightly insane smile on her face. She had told everyone to hang out on the couch for a bit until she finally got the urge to check on the duo that she sentenced to a white room. Daki and Niffty were watching a crime drama while Angel scrolled on Sinstagram Reels, liking a post about a crazy fan making a 100 thousand word yaoi fanfic about him and the Roaring Knight.
She stood up, summoning a remote from her hands and turning the TV to a different channel. The camera feed was supposed to be clear, however, there was a thick layer of smoke covering everything. At first, Charlie thought it was an issue with the camera, walking over to the TV and messing around with it, making an antenna and messing around with it. But she was soon interrupted.
"Are you gonna pull out?"
"Nah, I'm going all in, you're gonna just have to take it hard."
…Was that her dad and James?
Angel Dust immediately perked up, putting his phone down as Niffty and Daki slowly shifted to faces of disbelief.
For Charlie it was like watching a slow car wreck in real time, and it just…
"I'm going deeper!"
Wouldn't…
"Break me, break me!"
STOP!!!!!!!!!
***James and Lucifer***
"I'm going deeper!" James yelled kookily, pushing his jenga piece through the left and managing to keep the tower up despite Lucifer yelling about breaking it. "Who's the man, I'm the man!!" he got up and roared, patting his chest.
***
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
"..." Charlie was basically in a catatonic state at this point. Angel Dust was actively closing his eyes and clenching his fists in an attempt to not crack and not to burst out laughing, Daki was genuinely shocked about thinking her master was gay and Niffty…Wasn't that bothered.
'I guess Lucifer does have a pretty big butt, I mean it's definitely bigger than mine and James loves groping and feeling on mine.' She thought while Charlie's remote slipped from her hand, turning the TV off.
***Lucifer POV***
I sank down to the floor, lying down, not even caring that the jenga pieces that James made out of crystals fell on me. It's been such a long time since I smoked up one of these that it made me forget just how great it felt. It felt like Eden again, like I was still in the garden with Lilith and… And Adam.
To be honest, I think the reason I even offered James the weed was because he reminded me of Adam so much I thought I was talking to his younger self. I was always greedy, I was the devil for crying out loud, so even in Eden I couldn't contain myself and fell in love with both Adam and Lilith. Sometimes I think about what would've been if I hadn't tried to tempt Lilith, but that ship has sailed just like our marriage.
Man, getting high is depressing.
Around 7 years ago, she just got up and left. I turned over Hell itself to look for her, to apologize about whatever she wanted, ready to do anything to get her back, but it's over isn't it? I cried a lot, turning over and over in bed even to now, searching for a warmth that wasn't there and will never be there again.
"What's wrong bro?" A dopey voice asked. I looked over to the left, seeing James looking up at the roof, not a thought behind those eyes. "Are you reminiscing about heaven or something? I know it's gotta be sweet up there. Charlie would die to go up there, I dunno about the others tho." He turned around to me. "Can you fuck in Heaven?"
I let out a little chortle, leaning in a little closer. I had also forgotten that the weed made me sleepier and voice quieter so I had to get closer to him so he could hear…He was also warm. "Of course you can, it's Heaven, you can do whatever you want there." I crossed my arms, closing my eyes. "I can't let Char-Char go up there though, a lot of bad blood between me and the elders and stuff, they'll just try and mess with her."
"Why don't ya just tell them her dream?"
"...Huh?" I eloquently asked.
"Charlie wants to redeem sinners, so why not let them see what her end goal is? Even if they think that you're trying to pull anything, just make a contract with some specific wording, you're the devil after all. You the man, Lucifer!"
Yeah...Yeah, he's right! I know I've been a little distant from Charlie for the past few years, so what twitter way to make it up to her by trying to give her what she always wanted? "I…I am the man."
"You the man, man!"
"I am the man, man!"
"Yeah!!!!" He yelled, standing up and growling.
"YYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" I also yelled, doing the exact same thing.
"CHEST BUMP!" He yelled, as we both tried to chest-bump each other, however, I forgot that most of my weight was in my bottom half. I tried to grab onto something to not fall over, but I only managed to hold onto James' shirt that just ripped and pushed him on top of me.
****
"Charlie, ya good?" Angel Dust asked, waving a hand in front of her face. At first it was really funny, but after 5 minutes of her not even blinking or moving in the slightest, it was starting to get worrying.
"Oh I'm fine Angel." She said in the most monotone voice Angel thinks he's heard in his life. "I'm just fine with James fucking my dad, just peachy."
"Well, what if it's out of context?" He asked. "You could've just caught them at a bad time, what if they were playing jenga or something?"
He didn't think it would work, but it looked like that calmed Charlie down somewhat. "Yeah, you're…You're right Angel, I'm just overreacting." She said with a little smile, snapping her fingers as a plain white door appeared in front of her.
"Alright guys, time's…Up…"
Right there on the floor was her father on his back while James with a ripped shirt loomed over him, both of his hands placed near her dad's head while her dad was literally leg-locking him.
Charlie stared for one second.
The next second she summoned a gun and shot herself.
"WHY CAN'T I DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???????????"
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THE END
I considered making Lucifer and James' connection a little more drawn out, but to be honest, I always had the idea of them hating each other at first but becoming Todo and Yuji levels of locked in with like half a conversation.
Also, I will genuinely explode if someone manages to guess what Adam's power is and why Lucifer was reminded of him from B2A. I'll give you a hint, it's not the gacha shit again.
Ok bbbyyyyeeee!!