Alex's POV.
Sometimes love isn't lost among the living. Sometimes it lives quietly in the words we never say. The crowd, the music, the noise of the bar, all of it faded into the background. But none of it mattered because the whole world blurred until only one thing stayed in focus. Felicity. She laughed at something Christopher said and tilted her head back. Her golden hair caught the lights like fire and honey. Her eyes sparkled the way they always used to, like the tiny little stars shining inside them. She lit up the night without even trying.
Only this time, she wasn't lighting up the night for me. Yet she still looked untouched by time. The same girl who made everything else fade the moment she walked into a room. The same girl who once knew the quiet, hidden corners of me, the parts I never shared with anyone.
And now, under the Oxford sky, she looked like everything I had tried and failed to forget. She looked different now. Stronger. More beautiful. Like life had given her storms and she had learned to walk through them barefoot without breaking. I had not expected to see her here. Not like this. Not tonight.
I wasn't ready. Not in the casual way people say they are not ready. My chest actually tightened. It felt like the air had been knocked out of me, as my body went into shock before my mind could catch up. Even after all these years, my heart recognised her before my mind did. I meant to walk away. Toward the door. Toward escape. But my feet betrayed me. Before I could stop myself, I was already moving toward her. Through the crowd. Through the music and noise. Like gravity had changed and she was the only thing pulling me forward. Like I had no choice at all.
"Go talk to her," my mind whispered.
"Say something. Anything."
So I did. Her smile faded the moment our eyes met. Her body tensed. I saw it in the small way she leaned closer to Christopher. He noticed too. His hand slipped around her waist. The gesture looked casual, but it carried a quiet warning. A silent message.
I don't know why that hit me so hard. I hated how much that bothered me. Maybe because I once imagined holding her like that. Back when things were simpler. Before I destroyed everything.
She laughed again and bumped Christopher's shoulder, tossing her head back at something he whispered. The sound hit my chest hard. For a moment it felt like my ribs might crack. Maybe Chris whispered something that made her laugh. Maybe he said something about me. Maybe he told her Alex is here again. What now? His arm stayed around her as if she belonged there. Like I had never existed. Like I had never once dreamed of being the boy who made her laugh like that.
I stepped forward and stopped just a foot away from her. "Can we talk?" I asked quietly. My voice was low and rough, like it had been buried under years of silence and everything I had not said.
Her new prince charming, Christopher, raised an eyebrow. "She's a bit busy."
Before I could respond, Felicity spoke. Her tone was sharp. "Christopher."
That one word was all I needed to breathe again. Just one word. But it was enough to make him step back slightly. His arm still stayed around her waist. The message was clear. He did not trust me. He did not like me. And he definitely didn't want her anywhere near me.
He looked smug. Possessive. And I hated that it worked. "I'm just being protective," he muttered. "You're mine now, remember?"
My fists clenched. My heart slammed against my ribs. But I did not take my eyes off her. This was not about him. It never was.
"I just need a minute," I said quietly, speaking only to her.
Felicity hesitated. For a heartbeat, I wasn't sure if she would come. But then she stepped out of his arms. Without a word, she followed me through the crowd and down the winding garden path. The music grew softer behind us. The lights from the bar faded until only the quiet rustle of leaves filled the air. My heart was racing. I stopped and turned to face her. And finally, after all this time, I let myself look at her.
"Okay, Alex. What's up?" she asked.
"I need to tell you something. I didn't know it was you," I said slowly. "Not at first. But now I do. And I'm sorry."
Her throat moved as she swallowed. "Wait a second. I don't know what you are talking about. Sorry for what?"
"For disappearing. For pushing you away. For being a complete coward when I should have just been honest about the truth." I exhaled. "I'm Theodore Owen. Back then my world was falling apart and you were the only thing that made sense. And I still ruined it."
Felicity blinked, her eyes wide. "Alex… or is it Theo?" She shook her head, struggling to find the words. "I don't even know what to say. You called me a joke, Alex," her voice cracked. "You made me feel small. You humiliated me."
The words hit harder than I expected. I swallowed, my voice low. "I didn't mean what I said. I said it to hurt you before I could hurt myself. I told myself it was to protect you. That you didn't deserve to be dragged into the mess my life had become. But I was so stupid."
Silence stretched between us. Then she laughed. It was bitter and sharp. "You don't get to rewrite history now. You hurt me, and that is no excuse."
"I know," I replied. "I don't expect forgiveness. I just never stopped thinking about you."
She stared at me for a long moment, her eyes impossible to read. Then she turned and walked away. Back to the lights. Back to the music. Back to him. And I was left standing there with every word I should have said a long time ago.
Except none of that actually happened. It was only in my head. Just another version of the story my imagination kept playing. My imagination was running wild again, playing tricks on me and showing me the version I wanted, not the one I had. In reality, I was still standing exactly where I had been before. Frozen like a statue. Watching her laugh as if nothing had ever burned between us. Watching him touch her as if she belonged with him. Watching her smile as if I had never existed or been part of her life.
I didn't move. I didn't say a word. Because I knew that if I walked over there she would look at me the way she did back then. Like I had broken something inside her that could never be fixed or put back together. And I couldn't survive seeing that look again. So I stayed where I was. Just standing there and watching her for a little longer. Pretending I wasn't falling apart all over again.
What I wanted to say was simple. I wanted to tell her the truth. The apology I owed her for years. That I didn't disappear only because of the headlines. I disappeared because I couldn't stand the thought of her seeing me at my worst. Seeing me exposed, ashamed, and ruined. I wanted to tell her that I changed my name not only to escape the scandal, but also to run from the one person who knew me too well. The one person who saw me the most clearly.
Because nothing hurt more than knowing I hurt her. Maybe if I told her the truth, she would look at me the way she used to. Like I still meant something to her. Like I could still be worth forgiving. But that was just another lie I told myself to feel brave. Because in real life, the truth was right in front of me. She was only ten feet away. Leaning into someone else. Laughing like she truly meant it. Glowing like she had rebuilt herself without me in the picture.
And I knew deep down if I walked up to her now she wouldn't see a changed man. She would see the boy who humiliated her, who cut her out, who made her feel like she was never enough. The boy who pushed her away. The boy who walked away. So I didn't walk toward her. Did not say a damn word. I just stayed silent. I let the fantasy fade with the music and just watched her for a little longer until my heart remembered how to pretend to.
Some people move on. Some people move forward. And some of us stay exactly where we are, watching the one we lost and trying to remember how to breathe. Maybe one day I will tell her the truth. But not tonight. I just needed to remember what it felt like to still love her even from ten feet away. So I turned around, walked to the door, and left.
> > > > > > > > > >
Noah's POV.
I watched Felicity laugh across the bar, her hand in Christopher's, and my chest tightened. Not with anger. Not with jealousy. Just the quiet ache of knowing she had already chosen someone else, that she would never look at me the way she looked at him, and that I had already lost her.
I turned to Laura, forcing a smile that felt fragile. "I… I don't think we should pretend again," I said softly, my voice low. "It's too much of a risk because I love Felicity."
Her eyebrows lifted slowly. "Wait. What?"
"Let's end this, okay?" I added, trying to steady my voice. "It's not fair to you or anyone. But we can still be friends."
Laura leaned closer, her expression sharp but playful. "Alright. That's very noble of you. But what about my mother's bills?"
"Oh, wow. I totally forgot," I admitted, rubbing my forehead. "I'll send the money when I get home. But for now… let's just pretend for today, and that's it. Just for today."
Her smile flickered. "Oh. Wow. Okay."
Laura pressed her lips together for a brief second and folded her arms, tilting her head slightly. Glancing past me, her eyes followed my gaze across the courtyard. After a moment of quiet, a dramatic sigh escaped her. Felicity was still laughing, her fingers curled in Christopher's sleeve as if she truly belonged there.
"But you know that if you and I were not pretending," she said lightly, tilting her head, "you would actually be my real boyfriend."
I blinked.
She pressed a hand to her chest in fake pride. "Honestly, dear, being your fake girlfriend is quite an honour. But it's okay. No worries."
"Hm… I… I um…"
My brain completely failed me.
Laura laughed softly and waved her hand. "Relax. I mean your real girlfriend. I know you do not feel that way. I am just teasing you. Don't be so serious and terrified at the same time."
"Oh. Okay."
I nodded, letting the words settle, feeling slightly foolish. For a moment we both fell quiet. The music and chatter from the party floated around us, but it all felt distant.
Laura glanced at me again, then back at Felicity. My eyes followed her across the courtyard, my attention drifting without me even realising it. Something in Laura's expression softened.
"Wow," she murmured under her breath.
I frowned slightly. "What?"
"Nothing." She shook her head with a small smile, though it did not quite reach her eyes.
Still, I could sense it, something sharp and unexpected stirring inside her. Jealousy. Not because she loved me. Not really. But because for the first time, she realised something very clearly. I was not pretending. Not about Felicity. Not even a little. And suddenly, our fake relationship felt a little more fake than she had expected. Across the courtyard, Felicity laughed again, her smile bright under the lights. Laura followed my gaze one more time, then sighed softly.
"She's lucky, you know," she said quietly.
I blinked. "Who?"
Laura nodded toward Felicity.
"Her." She gave a small shrug. "To be loved like that."
I did not know what to say. My chest felt both lighter and heavier at the same time. The truth hurts, but pretending hurts even more. I let the noise of the party fade into the background, the laughter and music blurring together as I watched Felicity across the courtyard. Her smile was bright under the lights. For once, I was not running from what I felt. I let the quiet ache of what I felt for her sink in. Some lines, once crossed, cannot be undone. And maybe, deep down, I do not want them to be.