"Can I burn this city?!" She sounded like a child, wanting to rid the stain that adorned her legacy. Japan belonged to her, but the ritual that sought to use her and had many heroes of the past ruined its purity, marking that which was hers. It would be fine if she decided to get rid of just Fuyuki, and maybe the neighbouring Minami City as collateral. She could rebuild it all afterwards anyway.
The look Lelouch gave her however was a clear parental answer. "No, you cannot. Besides, such anger is unwarranted to those innocent of whatever wrongs you're feeling now, my dear. Even if it's for the Tohsakas, that would be too much. If you plan to aim your anger at the Einzberns, they likely won't care if something happened to this place either since they're based in Germany—"
"Can I burn Germany then?" Petulant and immature was her tone.
It was as if she was looking for an out, a chance to vent her frustrations. But Nobu asked with such a serious face that this time, Lelouch stopped and stared at her for a few seconds. There was a short silence as the two stared at one another deeply. Then, it was broken by Lelouch's chuckle.
"Hey, I'm being serious here!"
"I know, but the answer is still 'no', Nobu. You can't burn Germany." He seemed to find it adorable with how she pouted. Lelouch seemed surprised that Nobu actually considered it but continued. "Although I wouldn't actually care, considering this isn't my home world... but I can see where you're coming from."
"Then, all the more—"
"Should you ask for it of me, I could destroy this world if it so deserves it." She didn't doubt he would. He'd already done so once. "But our issue is still, and only with, the founding families of the Grail War. For now, at least, they have already wronged too many, including ourselves. But… if we are to claim true victory, we simply need to make sure no one will win this war. And any other beyond it. Killing or destroying anything else will simply be a waste of time, my dear."
The hug she was drawn into and the composure of his tone caught her off-guard. Especially his caring smile which continued to grace her even as he pulled away. But when his hand grasped hers tighter, it was only then, when she looked down upon his that cradled hers, that Nobu realized she'd shattered the glass bottle by the neck in her absentminded fury. Lelouch was calmly brushing the glass from her fingers and tenderly searching for wounds on her palm. Even though, as a Servant, she could never be hurt by simple shards.
"Have you calmed down now?" he asked.
"I… am." She tried to. She really did, for his sake. "Forgive me… it seems… I forgot myself, getting angry for your sake."
"Mine?" the boy's question was accompanied by genuine surprise. But he didn't stop cradling her in his grasp. "Why is that?"
"It's just… I guess it's because it wasn't just myself who would've been fooled. Had you not been informed of the Grail's corruption beforehand, you might've…"
'Sought after a wish yourself… and be summarily disappointed by it all…' She couldn't say it. She didn't dare. How could she when there was still a nagging feeling within, eating away at her even now?
'What if…?' Even though it was just speculation, she couldn't help but worry. 'What if… deep down, he still wishes to return to his world?'
It was a stupid notion. That'd be like asking if she would want to be tossed back to her time, alive and the same as she was when she was mortal, but just some time after her passing. Considering the fact that many reviled her and Lulu both in life, what were they to do, being inserted back into the fray with nary a purpose after their original deaths?
But also consider that the wish they sought after may have been falsified, a trick simply to allow some other magus to approach this Root, what then? For what had their efforts been for? For what did they risk their lives apart from disappointment and loss?
Nobu couldn't fathom what she'd feel seeing Lelouch broken by that revelation, even though he was as calm as can be before her now.
"You need not worry about anything in regards to me, Nobu." It was then the boy hummed, interrupting his thoughts. "I don't seek the Grail, all-powerful magic or not. Besides, Zouken's journal says more about this Root than I gave it credit for. While not the wish-granting device we used to perceive it, in a manner of saying, it can still be used to achieve one's desires through sheer brute force."
"You mean to say?"
"If one desires power, it is power incarnate. If one desires destruction, it is a weapon beyond definition." Such were useless to her or him. Left in the hands of those magi, more of a detriment or a threat than anything else. "But say if one desires a change or peace, it can be used as a threat to enforce such… or maybe a catalyst to guide humanity down that path, should the winner be as benevolent yet strong as any could be." Such idealistic views were actually scoffed at by the boy. "It's a shame, though. The Grail in our war isn't working as it was intended."
"Shame indeed. If only this Greater Grail wasn't corrupted to all hell, I might have had a use for this Third Magic of theirs. It could even solve my little issue."
"Hm? What issue?" Lelouch raised an eyebrow. "Is there something you're not telling me, Nobu?"
Nobunaga noted the clear concern in his voice, and, with a small smile, replied. "Don't tell me you hadn't noticed yet, Lulu? My body... it's hollow. Merely a shell. In the first place, after my death, I shouldn't have been able to return to this world, much less stay and live in it. My time here is limited and I would've been gone by the time I was called here, save for the lynchpin that is you, Lelouch."
"Our contract… from the start?"
"Yeah…" She took the opportunity to draw him into a hug. "That's why I was so curious to learn about the person who summoned me without some sort of catalyst. Who is this unfortunate, broken soul? Who was this brat that was so similar, so in-tune with me that he was able to call upon Oda Nobunaga's incarnation, not as the Conqueror of Japan, but the more reviled Demon King?" Confused was the boy's expression, but she shut him up with a finger before he could interrupt. "I will say it bluntly, Lulu. Under normal circumstances, there is no doubt I could have been summoned. To begin with, a Heroic Spirit is, by nature, rejected by the world itself and is always being pushed back into non-existence. We are, in a sense, clumps of mana given form and thought. But… even compared to the rest of the Servants, I'm even more of an anomaly than should be possible."
"Meaning?" he asked, waiting patiently until she did.
"It's to do with the fact that I… or rather, my current self, is too far a manifestation from the real Oda Nobunaga… But… at the same time, I am the greatest and most powerful form of the hero by the same name. An anomalous amalgamation of all Nobunaga's best and worst characteristics."
"I don't understand. Why did you never tell me about this?"
"Because… there was no need to give you unnecessary information, Lelouch. Would knowing my past, or spiritual lack of any real past of myself, even help you in your objective?" His visage soured slightly. She knew he knew it wouldn't. "Think of Servants as but a fraction of the actual hero. But then also consider that I am both the furthest truth from Oda Nobunaga that there ever will be, and, at the same time, I am the closest thing to that Heroic Spirit's incarnation. The most ideal form they would take should they ever be called upon by someone that matches them in both spirit and soul." The boy that was her Master knit his brow, an attempt to think and analyze this new knowledge. However, there was no need for it. "Don't trouble your cute little head with such thoughts, Lulu. I knew this issue would only confuse you and I've come to accept it since being summoned by you."
"But…"
"Drop it, Lulu." She stepped in further with the hug, laying her head against the boy's shoulder and burrowing her face into his neck. "It doesn't bother me anymore. Somehow, in some strange way, you seem to have enough mana to make me feel complete. Not just in the ethereal sense, but my manifestation has never been so… human… before."
"You remember being summoned as… less… in the past?"
"Who knows?" she didn't, but that didn't mean she couldn't trust what she felt here and now. "For all, I know, maybe, maybe not. But no matter what happens, I will forever remember this time that you alone made possible. Here and now, I feel more alive than I had been in life. And I'm grateful to you, Lelouch."
"What are you thanking me for…?" she felt him reciprocate the hug. "You're a fool, you know that?"
"I am the Fool of Owari, you know? Don't disregard my title, will you please?"
He chuckled but spoke softly. "Still, you and I are accomplices. That means we must look after one another. Your problems are as much my problem as well. And I won't hesitate to help you to solve it." Lelouch gave her a sincere smile. "After all, that's what partners are for."
"Is that so?" Nobu bit her lip. She wasn't the only one who had unsolved issues. Her master had one as well. And they both knew he hadn't resolved it yet. "If so, then, Lelouch Lamperouge… please, answer me… … Have you found a new goal you want to achieve for your life?"
She watched as her dear Master stopped and looked away. She didn't want to admit but there was one thing the despicable Gilgamesh had over her. Lelouch had achieved his goal during his life and was now a lost lamb in need of a new one. And, with the words of the dead Archer in mind, he was still a ruler in the heart. Be he dead in his world, he was still yet alive in this one.
But Nobu was afraid he would be troubled with it. She was worried Lelouch wouldn't be able to move on from his former life and, therefore, wouldn't be able to find something of worth in this new one.
Had he been simply another boy tossed into the flames that were her, she wouldn't have cared. But this young man had so much going for him yet he didn't recognize it himself. Apart from her affections, of course.
To him, what was the point of living if there was nothing one wanted? Why fight if one had no stakes in the victory? As a Servant, Nobu had an eternity to think of what she wanted. Not just her, but the many incarnations that were her. Lelouch wasn't the same though. And she oh so wanted to help him—Nay. Her heart and soul demanded she do so.
'You and I are accomplices. That means we must look after one another. Your problems are as much my problem as well. And I won't hesitate to help you to solve it.' Such were his words. So were her thoughts, 'If you can't find a goal in life worth living, then I shall give you one!'
She didn't broadcast it via their link. She merely waited for his reply. And waited. And waited. Lelouch was silent for some time. But then he looked over the books that once belonged to Zouken.
With a heavy voice, he started. "I was thinking… about Zouken's history… What led a man like him to become the way he was at the end. How did he become a monster? What broke him to stray from his original path? He wanted to change the world for the better. To use magic and magecraft, all he had, for the sake of masses and redesign a new system, a better world for all."
Nobunaga's hands gently clasped his face on either side. "You don't mean to tell me you'd compare yourself to that worm… as if you have something in common?"
He didn't try to escape from her. He merely chuckled. "Don't be absurd, Nobu. I knew people who had noble dreams that went too far. I'm one such person among many, infinite others… but I would never become anything like this man for I already died a demon in the world's eyes once. No. What truly made me question things was his life itself. The man was alive for at least five centuries. He had a goal in mind but look how it had ended for him. He was but a twisted version of what he used to be. He'd stopped caring about the world, his dream long forgotten, and was surely focused on getting Grail no matter what... All because he wanted to preserve his own existence."
From what he read about Zouken's first diaries, the man was cold but had only good intentions. However, as time moved Zouken changed. No. It was better to call it a 'fall from grace'. Gone was the person who wanted to create a utopia, replaced by a parasite who sought a means to extend his own life… even if it meant feeding on his own family.
The moment Zouken realized he wouldn't be able to accomplish his dream in his lifetime, he had taken a step into hell in search of a means to continue that relentless search. What he found was the monstrosity he'd soon become.
Lelouch made a weak smile as he stared at the piles of wasted research material and mementoes of a monster. "When I killed my father, I was afraid I would receive his code and become immortal. I had the smallest of fears that… should it come to pass, I may become even less than human and more like him. One who was so detached from humanity, he didn't care if everyone died for they would all be with him at the end of time…"
Such a thought was… confounding, to say the least. While Nobu prided herself upon the title she was bestowed, the human side of her revealed outright cutting herself off from it all. On the battlefield, she was a demon, yes. But there was still a side of her that preferred being off it. A more human aspect of hers.
Lelouch chuckled once more. "However, my fears were unfounded. After all, I'd met a person who had endured immortality and was leagues ahead of me in terms of seeing it through. Willful, selfish, arrogant, and prideful… Her wrath was something I hardly missed, yet her advice was something I never took for granted." His downcast eyes belied a regretful emotion hidden from her gaze. "She suffered because of her immortality, yes. She didn't want it, of course, but she endured. Even when she had the chance to throw it all away… she still… That witch was so willful, so selfish, she didn't dare stop me when I told her what I planned to do… Still so human and yet not."
Nobu couldn't help her flare of envy. Something inside of her wanted to know who that person was. She did already, but the urge to make it the main topic remained. Who was she that was able to cause such an expression to draw over the boy's face? But she didn't question it. She stayed silent and listened to his heartbeat instead. It was calm and soothing, as was his voice.
"I didn't want to see the world I changed to turn into dust. Even if it meant the end of me, I didn't want to see people I knew and cared about to die from old age before my eyes. I didn't want to live on while my friends and followers faded in time... And now, having learned more about Zouken, I started to think. Was there a possibility for me to become like him had I inherited my father's code? Had I taken my father's place, would I have grown disillusioned, lost, and twisted as Zouken was? An immortal being who'd simply lost his mind and forgot his original dream...? I can't help but wonder and feel somewhat relieved of being spared such a sad existence."
And yet, he couldn't help but regret leaving the other to her own. It was all over his face, even though he didn't say. Still, Nobu didn't pry that. It was insensitive to. Instead, she consoled his woes.
"None of that will happen. You aren't in your old world and, unlike Zouken, you accomplished what you wanted."
"Indeed, but that leaves me the question still. What should I do now?" he broke away from her embrace, despite her grips' protest to not. "What is my new goal? What am I to do with this new life? Ever since I was brought to this world, made to fight in this war, I kept repeating these questions. I don't have an objective beyond preventing others from getting the Grail. I don't know what to do after. Hell, I don't even know if I have an after." He stepped away, growing ever farther from her as he turned his back to stare at the dark sky beyond the window. "Life and death mean little if someone can bring me back from the dead. What is there for Lelouch vi Britannia to do then? Will I be tasked to do the same once more? To search for another war to stop any participants from achieving victory? What is there… for me… when I have nothing to call… truly mine anymore?"
Nobunaga silently stared at his back. It didn't sound like her master was depressed. But it was more like he was genuinely lost. As a Servant, Nobu got used to the idea that death would mean little to her. She would just return to the Throne and await another summoner to call her back and fight in another Grail War. But Lelouch wasn't a Servant as far as they know. Hell, they didn't even know what exactly he was now. If even the all-knowing Gilgamesh was puzzled by Lelouch's true nature and couldn't understand what exactly her master was, who was able to tell.
But then again, did it truly matter?"
As far as Nobunaga was concerned. He was her equal. He was the same as her, a fellow revolutionary and monster to the masses by their cruelty on their path of destiny. He was the one to understand her. And that was enough for her. This bond with Lelouch was all she needed. And if her partner was lost, it was her duty to guide him, was it not?
"You need not answer now, Lelouch, for you can always find one by simply living." She started as Lelouch glanced her way. "The old worm spent centuries trying to achieve his dream, but went mad and forgot it. That would indeed inspire fear for those who have already lost their own goals. But your worry is illogical. As far as you know, you fulfilled your responsibility to your world, to your people. And now, you're free to do as you please."
"But…"
"Hush," she silenced him once more with a finger to the lips. "Don't forget, Lelouch. You were denied a normal life by your world. I've seen your past. Through your own memories, I've experienced what you have, felt what you did. That which should've been given was taken away from you at such a young age. So why not spend that stolen life in this world? Trying experiencing what you were denied all these years?"
Lelouch went silent for a moment, thinking about her words. "Like what for example?"
'Me.' Nobunaga smiled but didn't answer with that. "You were born in a world that was at the edge of war. Then why not try to live in this world's lasting peace? You lost many who were close to you. Why not build new connections here? Colleagues, friends… a lover and family, it doesn't matter what. You can have all of it, any one of them, here and now once this is all over. Of course, it has its caveats, this world. It isn't better off than yours with the magi that are the worst kind of scum that still exist in hiding. This world is corrupted still and in need of change, yet you can quite easily live a blissful and ignorant life if you so wish." She smirked upon meeting the light in his eyes. "Of course, you could still choose to repeat what you've done before."
She took a step forward. Then another, and another. Upon reaching arm's length of him, she offered up her hand, a mirror of what someone had done for him before.
"This world… you can burn it down to the ground and rebuild it anew. You may be a normal human now, but if you so wish, I can offer you the power, my power, that of a true demon." It was an offer as well as an extension. What they had now was similar, but only for this war. The contract she offered henceforth was for now… and forever. "In exchange for this power, you must agree to make my one wish come true. Accept this contract, and you accept its conditions. While living in a world of humans, you will live unlike any other: a different providence, a different time, a different life. But unlike the Power of a King, what I offer is myself, the Power of a Demon. One that will not condemn you to a life of solitude for I shall be with you until the end of time. So, answer me, Lelouch. Are you prepared for this?"
Royal violet eyes stared at the bloody crimson ones. His face was neutral but she could see the small hints in his expression. She was offering him the same as she had him. But she wasn't the immortal witch of his past. She was the demon of his present. Whether the one to stand by him now would be the same as that of the future… well, it was all up to his choice this very moment.
He was a sinner like her. One that would tear the world asunder should it be the means to their desired goal. If he was weak, she would be his strength. If he was lost, she would be his guide. If he was alone, she would ensure he would never be. Of that, he can be certain.
So why not offer him a contract he couldn't refuse? Just like that woman had him the day his side as a demon was born.
"You took over the world but gave it up for the sake of your sister. However, despite your guilt, your regrets, you cannot hide from me the burning excitement you had within when you confronted the world." His gaze narrowed, but there was no denying it. She'd felt his memories, lived his emotions, experienced his everything. His hopes, his dreams, his joys, his sorrows, his despair and passion. All of it. It was that which was her catalyst. His very being was what drew her into being summoned without an actual relic of her past. "Why not give in? Surrender yourself to that desire and let me help you? Do it once more, but this time, experience the pleasure of absolute control... of absolute conquest, all for yourself… with me by your side."
For a time, he was silent. "… Nobu—" But when he found his voice, she dared to stop him with her finger for the third time. This time, she dropped her arms and embraced him tightly. Gentler than she ever had anyone in life.
"I joined this war so I could finish what I was denied during my life. I'd initially sought the completion of my life's work. But… you denied me of this… You were brought here as the means to stop others from attaining a corrupted Grail. And yet, even though I was denied my victory again, you still showed me hope. You allowed me this short time to experience what I could not in my past. A chance to live life as a plebeian, to see the world, not in the fires of war, to feel… not as merely a rival to best… but as a person to trust… to understand… to love… All of that which had been denied of me…"
Her grip on his person tightened. But she didn't allow him a chance to speak yet.
"I understand you, Lelouch. I understand you more than I do my own soldiers than I ever had my own flesh and blood." Such was their life of betrayal, of loneliness. "You ruled alone, the same as I. You had bled and cried for your sins, as my mortal self once had. And yet, here you are. Allowed a choice to carve out a new path, free of what once held you back, of your responsibilities as an older brother. So, answer me, Lelouch. Would you accept my contract?"
"But… are you absolutely certain?"
"Hm." She couldn't help but smirk. She knew he was asking not for himself, but rather for her feelings. But he already knew what she felt. He was no fool. "Please, why hesitate now? Hadn't you once ordered God himself to march on? If the collective unconscious of humanity couldn't hold you back, is there ever really a need to consider what you can ask of me?" Meeting his gaze directly, she approached to the point that their faces were barely inches apart. "Even now, when I'm willingly offering my entirety to you and you alone?"
"Nobunaga…" his expression was still regretful. His feelings still wavered. But all he needed was a little push. She was ready and willing to give him even more than that.
"Will you join me in my journey to achieve the happiness that was denied from us?"