63. "JOYCE"
Like a truth that lies behind every front, I was always a hoping for love in every girl that liked, especially the ones that would make me feel like we could actually be something and there wasn't a lot of those. Joyce was always there somehow, no matter how many people would leave my life, she was always there until she had somebody else to be there for.
I was hoping that one day we'd become something special, like two birds that kiss in the fall of the rain. I wanted more for us, I wanted us to stroll in the streets, catch a sunset and share moments that'd grow into memories but things didn't go as I wanted them to.
I remember when I first held her in my arms, her caramel skin was glowing in her black top and a denim jean. Walking her to the cab should've been our new routine, that hug should have began the chapter that we'd later call a relationship but I guess some things aren't in my favor.
Things aren't like the way they were when we began, people grow and change, but somehow behind the stone cold heart in my chest, there's a little boy that still hopes for a silver in a cloud.
Joyce was everything I wanted, she had a good heart, great morals, focused and chilled, but now I don't know what to do about her because things between us have changed so much.
64. "ONE WOMAN MAN"
I've been stressed out, going all over the place with a different girl every each time and I thought that this would all bring me peace but actually it doesn't. Somebody said to me, "If you want an angel, create heaven for her because angels don't live in hell", and she was indirectly telling me that I might never find the good girl because she's only known me to give girls hell.
I know this may sound crazy coming from a guy like me but I really wanna be a one woman man, I don't wanna spend my life chasing skirts and empty pleasure. I might come off as a toxic player but I've been trying my hardest to find my lover but I keep running into the kind of girls that aren't good for my desires.
Having access to multiple girls is starting to feel like chaos, it's always a different personality with a different energy and if harmony is what I'm yearning for, it would be best for me to quit all of these bad habits and find myself a good loving girl.
I wanna be a one-woman man..