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Chapter 68 - I Understand Now

His hands disappeared first.

The red Axiom energy that had always coiled around his fingers scattered into glowing dust, drifting upward into the endless white above him. Then came his arms, his chest, the outline of his body itself slowly unravelling like ash carried away by the wind.

And with it came silence. Not ordinary silence, but a silence so deep that it seemed to exist before sound itself.

The Phoenix watched him calmly.

"You are resisting," it said. "But I am only trying to give you back what you lost."

Ashar fell to one knee within the vision. Around him, the white world stretched infinitely in every direction. There was no sky above or earth below, only light and memory intertwined together.

"You are trying to erase me," Ashar said.

"No."

The Phoenix stepped closer.

"I am showing you what remains inside you."

Ashar clenched his fading fist.

"There is nothing beneath it."

The Phoenix said nothing.

Then the white world shifted.

The beach returned once more.

Summer winds passed softly through the trees. The distant sound of waves reached the shore in slow rhythms. A young boy sat upon the sand staring toward the horizon while another figure approached him from behind.

Ashar turned and saw a girl.

He froze.

"Bethryl..."

This was not the Bethryl he knew now, burdened by visions and sorrow. This Bethryl was younger. Her dark hair moved with the sea breeze, and there was still softness in her eyes untouched by prophecy.

She sat beside the boy quietly.

"You came back," she said.

The child Ashar shrugged.

"You disappear for days sometimes."

"I like being alone."

"You always say that."

The young Ashar gave no answer.

Bethryl smiled faintly and leaned back against the warm sand.

The older Ashar watched in silence.

"What is this?" he asked.

"A truth you abandoned," said the Phoenix.

The child Ashar looked toward the sunset.

"Do you ever think about dying?" he suddenly asked.

Bethryl blinked.

"What?"

"I always talk about how I don't care if it happens to me. But the truth is, I think about it all the time."

The child Ashar stared toward the sea.

"Why was I born in the first place?" he said quietly. "I keep looking through my life, and I just can't seem to figure out the reason."

"There doesn't have to be a reason, Ashar."

"An abomination like me. The things that I've done now. There has to be a reason."

Bethryl was quiet for a long while after that.

Then she looked at him gently, and more memories passed.

Ashar laughing beneath lantern light.

Ashar training beneath storms.

Ashar sitting quietly with Bethryl deep in the forests while the Granite Compact slept around them.

Then there was blood.

The visions darkened.

Ashar saw himself as the Western Leader. He saw mountains of corpses, villages burning, endless years of slaughter and hatred. Then he saw himself passing through the Dream Dimension, killing everyone that he saw.

Silence returned afterward.

The Phoenix looked at him.

"You were not born this way, Ashar."

Ashar remained motionless.

"You can choose another life."

For the first time since his rebirth, Ashar looked tired.

"I saw too much," he said.

The Phoenix remained silent.

"I saw what people really are. I saw the endless cycle. They love each other only to betray each other. They build only to destroy. They pray while secretly wishing for violence. They call life sacred while feeding upon suffering."

"Yes."

Ashar looked up sharply.

The answer surprised him.

"Yes," repeated the Phoenix. "All of that is true."

The endless white around them shifted again.

Now Ashar saw wars stretching across dimensions. Kings weeping beside ruined thrones while children starved beneath blackened skies. Cruelty beyond imagination unfolded before him.

And still, life continued.

"They suffer," said the Phoenix softly. "And yet they continue loving. That is the miracle. Only in this life can such a miracle take place."

Ashar trembled.

His dissolving body slowed.

"What if I don't want this miracle anymore? What if I never wanted to choose it to begin with?"

The Phoenix's gaze softened further.

"That is because you are wounded."

The beach appeared one final time.

This time only Bethryl remained there.

She stood alone beside the sea beneath fading twilight.

Her silver eyes already carried the sorrow of prophecy.

Ashar stared at her.

"You've seen this before," he said.

Bethryl nodded slowly.

"I saw your ending a long time ago."

"And what happens to me?"

Her expression faltered.

"You become something terrible."

Ashar laughed weakly.

"I already am."

"No," Bethryl said. "Not yet."

The sea winds passed between them.

"You should've killed me," Ashar said.

Bethryl's eyes widened slightly.

Then sadness crossed her face.

"You still don't understand."

Ashar said nothing.

"You think your fate is becoming a monster," she said quietly. "But that's not your true tragedy."

Ashar slowly looked back toward her.

"The tragedy is that part of you still wants to be saved."

The white flames around him intensified.

His body continued dissolving.

The Phoenix spread its wings wider.

"Let go," it said gently.

Ashar closed his eyes.

And for a moment—

it truly seemed as though he would surrender.

Maereth watched helplessly within the hut as Ashar's screaming stopped completely. The red energy around him faded, and the sisters exchanged glances.

"Is he yielding?" whispered Sister Lythea.

"No," said Sister Seraphelle quietly.

Far away within the vision, Ashar slowly opened his eyes again.

Something had changed, and the Phoenix immediately sensed it.

Ashar smiled faintly.

"I understand now. You showed me all of this because you believed there was something inside me which would lead me to love you."

"There is."

Ashar's smile widened slightly.

"Tell me, great Phoenix. Have you ever heard the tales of the one known as Sophia?"

The Phoenix remained still.

"Yes," it said. "I have heard."

"She came before you, oh great one. I can never truly perceive her, for I am just a tool. I can never fully reach her. It is a distant love with which she created me. But did you know that when she looked upon your work, upon the gift you have blessed us with, she recoiled... and decided that she would bring me into this world?"

The Eye of Sophia opened completely.

Ashar laughed, and the white world trembled violently. A colossal spiral of red and black energy erupted outward across the vision itself, corrupting the endless white with cracks of darkness.

"I was only born for one purpose!" Ashar screamed, "Whatever love I was ever shown was only to guide me to this purpose. Why should I not hate in return?

This madness! But it is my one divine purpose, and I am blessed to live for it."

The Phoenix's burning gaze sharpened.

"I reject it all! Not just the Lords, but all of it! I reject you great Phoenix, and all your works of life. Every story has an ending, and I shall be that ending. I will be ruthless, I will not spare anyone, it will be the only focus in every moment of my existence."

The Phoenix flew back. Its form shifted at once into something vaster, a glowing serpent with the head of a lion, before the image disappeared entirely into light.

Ashar raised one dissolving hand and laughed.

"I know you are there," he said. "You are always calling to me. And this time, I am calling to you."

The entire dimension shattered.

Darkness burst through the light like ink flooding water.

And from somewhere far beyond reality itself—

something answered.

In the hut, Ashar's body twisted with black, howling energy.

"What's happening?" asked Sister Lythea.

"This is not his energy," said Sister Seraphelle. "Someone else has possessed him. We have to leave this hut now!"

The bodies of the three sisters faded away and reappeared in the desert outside. Maereth followed them by instinct, driven by fear of whatever was emerging from Ashar.

A hideous darkness had filled the hut and was beginning to corrode it.

"Stay back, all of you!" shouted Sister Seraphelle. "Whatever comes out of that hut, we will face it together."

The darkness spilled out onto the sand.

Then a shadow stepped forward slowly from within it.

"Who are you?" Sister Vaelith demanded.

"You know me by many names," said the shadow. "The Great Deceiver. The Follower of Chaos. The Dark Alchemist. The Bringer of the Apocalypse. But ultimately, you will know me by one name only."

The darkness peeled away.

Ashar's body had changed into that of someone else entirely.

An old man stood before them now, draped in ancient robes, with a pale beard hanging from his chin and eyes like endless hollows in the night.

"You will know me," he said, "as the Old Man of the Noctis Mountains."

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