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'System! Sign in!'
[Ding. Congratulations, Host. Acquisition confirmed: Tom Cat (Seven-Colored).]
'Hey! It can't actually be that one, can it?!'
[Ding. It is exactly the one Host is thinking of.]
Kaito thought of that omnipotent blue British Shorthair, and the smile spreading across his face was almost impossible to contain.
"Summon!"
At the command, a blue-gray British Shorthair cat materialized out of thin air in the middle of Kaito's bedroom.
"Meow!!! Meow... Meow!! (Help!!!) ∑(ﾟДﾟノ)ノ"
The cat flailed wildly, as though he had been dropped into deep water, eyes wide with pure panic.
Then, as if something clicked in his memory, he took a long, deep breath.
His slender body inflated instantly into a perfect sphere.
And then, like a balloon that had been let go, this round creature drifted slowly and gently down to the floor.
The moment Tom's feet touched the ground, he wiped his forehead with one hand and let out a long, shaky sigh of relief, looking very much like a cat who had narrowly cheated death.
Kaito, having witnessed the whole performance, stared at him with pure fascination.
He found himself wondering what Tom was actually made of, to be able to reshape his body so freely.
Gag anime characters really could not be judged by normal logic. Every single one of them was practically a conceptual god.
"Hey! Tom!"
Kaito called out to the cat, who was still surveying the bedroom with suspicious eyes.
"Meow? (Who's there?)"
Tom spun around and spotted Kaito sitting on the bed. His eyes lit up immediately.
"Meow! (Master!)"
He broke into a sprint toward the bed, looking delighted.
He never made it.
A fair, delicate hand caught him by the scruff of his neck before he could jump.
"Listen carefully. You are not allowed on the bed. Ever. Do you understand?"
Tom went completely rigid at the cold voice. Then his entire head began nodding at a speed that left afterimages.
Kaito watched this and burst out laughing.
"Hahaha! Sakuya! Let him go!"
At Kaito's word, Sakuya released her grip.
"Meow meow! Meow!!! (You! How dare you treat me like that!)"
Tom, free at last, wheeled on Izayoi Sakuya and launched into a furious tirade of complaints directed at Kaito.
"Hmm?"
Sakuya said nothing. She simply looked at him.
"Meow! (I was wrong!)"
Under that gaze, Tom immediately decided that a wise cat does not fight with women. He dropped to all fours and kowtowed in full apology.
"Alright! Sakuya, head out for now. I need to talk with him."
Sakuya gave a slight bow toward Kaito and quietly left the room.
"Okay, Tom. I have a question for you. Do you know Jerry?"
Tom froze at the name. He was quiet for a long moment. Then he stood, walked slowly to the window, somehow produced a cigarette from nowhere, and took a long, slow drag.
He exhaled a perfect smoke ring.
"Meow... (Jerry, huh...)"
His expression had gone distant and melancholic.
"Meow meow. (Will he be coming here too someday?)"
Kaito looked at Tom doing his best impression of a world-weary philosopher, and answered him honestly.
"That's right. Jerry will get his turn eventually too."
"Meow! (Is that so!)"
As the conversation continued, Kaito eventually confirmed something that had nagged at him for a long time.
Tom could actually catch Jerry.
He had in fact been a champion rat-catcher in his day. But through their endless battles of wits, the two had become something more than enemies. They were rivals who had grown into friends.
The chaos and destruction they caused afterward was nothing more than a performance for the benefit of whoever owned the house at the time.
"Good heavens. You two are incredible actors. Why haven't the Oscars given you both an award yet?!"
"Meow. (A mere Oscar? I wouldn't even glance at it.)"
Tom let out a deeply disdainful meow.
"Alright, fair enough. You're a proud one."
Kaito stood and began getting dressed. He still had two poor souls to go rescue.
Once he was ready, he turned back to Tom.
"Tom, I'm heading out on a long trip. You can feed yourself, right?"
"Meow!!! (Obviously!!!)"
"Good. Then I'll be off."
Kaito walked out.
The moment the door closed, the restrained look on Tom's face dissolved entirely. He began bounding around the room with pure, uninhibited joy, pulling hammers, saws, and all manner of tools seemingly out of nowhere.
The entire house filled with the sound of enthusiastic metalworking.
"Hey! What are you doing here?!"
Kaito had made it downstairs to find Testarossa sitting on the living room sofa, composedly drinking black tea.
Testarossa glanced at him with mild eyes.
"Oh? Does Master dislike having me here?"
"No, not at all. It's just... unexpected."
"Heh heh. Yesterday you poured so much into me." She tilted her head slightly. "Are you not planning to take responsibility?"
"Please, I am begging you, do not phrase it like that." Kaito looked at her in dismay. 'If Rimuru or Kanae-san heard that, I would not survive the week.' "I didn't do anything to you."
"Is it not your fault that my body ended up in this state?"
A glimmer of amusement flickered in Testarossa's eyes, though her expression remained perfectly composed.
"Well... yes, technically, but..."
"No buts." She cut him off cleanly. "You did this and that to me. The least you can do is take proper responsibility."
In truth, she was still quietly simmering over yesterday's fight. She had not managed to touch so much as a corner of Kaito's clothing throughout the entire battle, and had ended up completely exhausted for her trouble. Now that a chance for a little payback had presented itself, she had absolutely no intention of letting it go.
"Kai-chan! What responsibility are you taking?!"
Rimuru's voice came from the staircase. She had apparently caught the tail end of Testarossa's words on her way down.
"Nothing. You misheard." Kaito pivoted immediately. "Testarossa, aren't you a diplomat now? Shouldn't you be at work?"
"Good day, Rimuru-sama!"
Testarossa rose smoothly from the sofa and performed an elegant noble's bow.
"Oh! Good morning, Testarossa!"
"Actually, I called you here for a reason." Rimuru got straight to the point. "The diplomatic delegation from Alabasta, from the Pirate King world, is on its way. I need you as our diplomat to negotiate the alliance terms with them."
"You may leave it entirely to me. I will have a very thorough... discussion... with them."
Kaito quietly poured a moment of silence out for Vivi and whoever else was in that delegation. The important word in "diplomatic military attaché," after all, was military.
[Eye of Identification]
Primordial Seven Pillars · White · Testarossa
Loyalty: 100
Affection: 100
Abilities: King of the Dead World, Elemental Magic, Accelerated Thought, Omnisensory, Demon Lord's Haki, Multidimensional Barrier...
Overall Strength Rating: SS-