Waking up felt like getting hit by a truck, except the truck was made of memories and driven by his own stupid life choices.
One moment it was nothing. Next second, his brain decided to throw a highlight reel of "That Time Cao Cao Almost Murdered You" in crystal-clear 4K.
At least, that psycho with the god-killing spear, wouldn't be showing up to ruin his day for a while.
He prodded his chest, half-expecting to find broken bones, but instead there was just soreness and some discarded bandages on the nightstand. The healing potion was still in his personal storage, and yet still he was healed from injuries that should've left him looking like roadkill survivor.
'Not bad, I was able to knock out guy possesing the strongest Sacred Gear in existence'
But, then he reminded himself, the guy hadn't used the true powers of his spear. If he had used it, then there were even more slim chances that he was still breathing here in this room.
'Gotta thank, Lady Sitri for that'
The door exploded open, Kalawarner froze, her eyes going wider at sight in front of her.
Motohama waved at her with a smile "Morning"
"You're—" Her voice sounded like she was still imagining things. And, then in just a blink of an eye, her arms locked around him with enough force to test whether his ribs had actually healed "You idiot! I thought—" The pain in her voice was sharper than Cao Cao's spear "You wouldn't wake up. You looked like a corpse when Lady Sitri dragged your ass back here"
Motohama's hand came up to pat her back, because apparently he was contractually obligated to comfort this attractive woman having a breakdown over his near-death experience.
"Didn't I told you? it takes more than a psychotic spear enthusiast to keep me down" He kept his voice gentle, while caressing her back with affection "I'm fine, Kala"
They stayed like that until.
AHEM!
Motohama's eyes tracked to the doorway where Sona and Rias stood, arms crossed like parents catching their kids with hands in the cookie jar.
Kalawarner got out of his embrace as she got back on her feet, but not before letting out a sigh of annoyance for her moment getting interrupted.
'Well. This is going to be a long conversation'
Motohama put on his shirt, already seeing the look on their faces with his Eyes of Future, upon revealing his other dimension adventures.
---
"..."
Silence embraced the living room like it was waiting for someone to break it into pieces. Motohama lifted his teacup, took a slow sip, and savored the bitter green tea while both devil heiresses stared at him like he'd reincarnated in this world.
Rias leaned forward, her voice still in disbelief "You defeated the entire Hero Faction, like that?"
"When have I ever lied about my battles to you, Rias?" Motohama set the cup down, as he shrugged "The rest of his comrades scattered away for their dear lives, when their fearless leader got his ass handed to him"
'Xenovia informed me that Cao Cao possesses the True Longinus' Rias couldn't help but gulp nervously, just by imagining fighting against The spear that could kill even Gods.
The strongest Sacred Gear in existence.
And human in front of him, was sitting here drinking tea like he just won a school tournament instead of winning against a leader possessing literal god-killing weapon.
Sona pushed her glasses up, light catching the lenses and hiding her eyes in that annoying anime protagonist way. She thought 'He killed Siegfried in just a few seconds, the one who nearly killed him a week ago? At this rate, he might end up at same level of Satans, no, he will surpass them, I can see it pretty clear.
"So....How are you feeling?" Sona asked, shifting the conversation from his absurd inhuman feat to more human one.
Motohama placed the teacup back on its saucer and leaned back "Well, with my potion and my comrades here..." He gestured vaguely at Kalawarner and Asia, who sat on either side of the room looking like they were happy to be mentioned by him "I recovered in just a day"
He crossed his arms, as he realized something a miss "So where are those two exorcists? Did they run back to the Church?"
Rias shook her head, as she sighed "Both Irina and Xenovia are still holed up in that abandoned church. I offered them proper accommodations, but they both refused" She crossing her arms beneath her chest, as she looked him in the eyes "Now that the Excalibur fragments have been stolen, they have no choice but to seek your assistance, Motohama-kun"
Neither heiress found resignation or annoyance from this outcome. He just gave a slight nod, like this outcome had been carved in stone before he'd ever agreed to help the Church.
'But, I'm not telling them I already recovered the Excaliburs'
'Because they'll charge straight at Kokabiel like suicidal morons, and I refuse to deal with that headache, for sake of a plot'
He remembered Syr returning with the Excalibur fragments clutched in her shadow hands, jumping with pride as she latched on him, before he was kicked out from Georg's dimension.
It turned out the Honored One potion combined with her existing skillset created an absolute monster out of her, on the battlefield.
She was still the strongest one in his group, only after him.
"By the way—" Motohama uncrossed his arms, as he leaned forward with a questioning look on his face "—how did Lady Sitri end up being the one to pull me out? I remember trying to summon Leviathan-sama before I passed out, and it failed for sure"
'I didn't l even get to thank her properly'
Sona's lips curved into a knowing smile that screamed trouble from afar "My sister was planning to arrive here in response to your partial summons, but mom intercepted her"
"And, she told me specifically to tell you, she'll be returning soon to collect on the favor you owe her for the rescue"
Motohama's eye twitched, as he knew he can't reason with that woman.
"You should prepare yourself, Motohama" Sona pushed her glasses up again, eyes gleaming with barely suppressed sadistic amusement, that even scared Rias slightly "She's quite interested in having a second duel with you. Apparently, single-handedly defeating a whole faction has motivated her to prepare harder for this duel"
Rias's smile brightened like someone had flipped her enthusiasm switch "I'm sure Motohama-kun will have no problem with—"
Horror crashed across Motohama's face like a pure existential dread.
Rias blinked at the shift of fear in his expression, confusion replacing cheerfulness.
'Why does he look like he got sentenced to the deepest pits of the Underworld?'
Only Sona understood. Her smile remained fixed in place, satisfaction glinting in her violet eyes as she knew how much of amusement he takes in, defeating her ruthlessly in a game of chess.
Because sometimes, the real victory isn't winning the fight. It's watching your friend realize he's about to get absolutely demolished by your battle maniac mom.
---
The door clicked shut behind the two heiresses. Motohama sagged against the couch cushions like he had conquered a kingdom and chose to live a peaceful life of a farmer.
'I survived the True Longinus. I can survive a duel with a Satan-class devil who treats battles like Kenpachi Zaraki'
The familiar blue screen materialized in front of him with a soft ring of notification. His fingers moved through the air, navigating to the Rank 12 Gacha ticket that had been burning a hole in his inventory since before Kalawarner's emotional reunion interrupted his regularly scheduled unconsciousness.
'This is the highest rank ticket I've gotten so far, what would it give me? Sukuna's Cursed technique? Or Gojo's? No, no something even stronger!'
Anticipation built in his chest, pushing aside the lingering dread from Lady Sitri's promised duel.
'Let's see if my fate is still cool with me, or chose to kick me while I'm down'
He tapped the ticket icon. The screen erupted in swirling white and pink light, spinning faster and faster until a 3D figure began to take shape of a small, Cat-like being, making him sigh that he had his hopes high for nothing.
But then, Motohama's breath caught when he saw the notification in front of him.
'No fucking way!'
[You've acquired the familiar: Mew!]
[ Mew is a mysterious Mythical Pokémon known for its small pink cat-like appearance, playful nature, and godlike psychic abilities. Believed to contain the DNA of all Pokémon, Mew can learn and use nearly every type of move, allowing it to wield powers such as telekinesis, telepathy, energy projection, force-field creation, healing, flight, invisibility, and even transformation or mimicry of other abilities. Despite possessing immense power, Mew usually behaves like a curious and mischievous child, often playing around rather than fighting seriously, which makes its true strength feel even more mysterious and unpredictable ]
[ Strengthen your Bond with her and train to get assistance and unlocking her full potential. The user is responsible to teach her to harness her abilities, since she is clueless about the commands and abilities that you want her to use ]
'A psychic powerhouse that can mimic abilities and acts like a toddler'
"Motohama-san? Are you alright?"
Asia's soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. She sat cross-legged on the floor beside the couch, a book of magic open in her lap. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity as she marked her page with one finger.
Motohama's grin spread across his face like he'd just been handed the cheat codes to life.
"Hey Asia, want to meet my new familiar?"
"Really?" Asia's entire face lit up brighter than a Christmas tree. She closed the book gently, her hands clasped together in front of her "I'd love to!"
Motohama's finger pressed against the Mew icon on his screen.
FWOOOOSH!
White light erupted in the center of the living room, bright enough to make both of them squint and question their life choices. The glow condensed, shaping itself into something small and distinctly alive. When the brilliance faded, a pink creature no bigger than a house cat floated three feet off the ground, defying physics with the casual confidence of something that gave zero fucks about the laws of nature.
Large blue eyes blinked open, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings with childlike wonder. The creature's tail swayed behind it as it drifted closer to Motohama, head tilting to one side.
"Mew!"
She called out to him in a cheerful call, accompanied by what could only be described as the most innocent smile either of them had ever seen.
' 'She's so cute!' '
The thought struck both Motohama and Asia simultaneously, bypassing their brains and hitting them directly in the heart.
"What was that light?! Are we under attack?!"
Kalawarner burst through the kitchen doorway like a violent valkyrie, with a light spear in her right hand. Her eyes locked onto the floating pink creature, and the weapon dissipated immediately.
"....."
Mew turned to face the newcomer, ears perking up "Mew?"
The fallen angel's combat stance melted faster than ice cream in hell. She crossed the room in a swift motion and dropped onto the opposite couch, her eyes fixed on the little one.
"Where did this creature come from?" She asked in a genuine curiosity and what might have been the beginnings of cuteness-induced brain damage.
"Meet Mew" Motohama gestured at the floating Pokémon like he was introducing a new puppy instead of a reality-warping psychic god "My new familiar"
"But don't you already have one?"
Kalawarner's hand reached out slowly, fingers extending toward Mew's head in the gesture of "I must pet the cute thing."
SWAT!
The tiny paw moved faster than expected, batting the fallen angel's hand away with surprising force and absolutely zero mercy. Kalawarner's hand jerked back, her eyes blinking in surprise.
Motohama scratched his cheek, a chuckle escaping despite his attempt to suppress it "Maybe she finds you scary?"
"That can't be true..." Kalawarner's eye twitched with the fury of someone who'd just been rejected by something the size of a softball. She turned to Asia, pointing dramatically "You try, then. You're the least threatening person in this room"
Motohama nodded, gesturing for Asia to give it a shot "Go ahead, I know you won't be rejected by her"
Asia smiled sweetly and reached out with both hands, approaching Mew with the kind of gentle care she'd use on an injured bird or a fragile flower.
SWAT!
Mew's paw connected with Asia's fingers, pushing them away with the same firm rejection and what might have been a touch of smug satisfaction.
All three humans froze, sweatdrops forming on their foreheads in unison.
Kalawarner's lips twitched, then a snicker escaped despite her best efforts to contain it "How about you?" She crossed her arms, satisfaction bleeding into her voice like she knew he had no control over his familiar "I bet even though it's your familiar, she won't—"
Mew floated through the air like a soap bubble, and settled onto Motohama's lap with all the grace of a contented cat claiming its rightful throne. Her tail curled around her body, and when his hand came down to pat her head, she leaned into the touch with a pleased purr.
"Mew~"
Motohama's grin turned smug as he looked at the fallen angel "You were saying?"
Kalawarner's eye twitched, as she pushed herself off the couch and stalked back toward the kitchen, muttering under her breath about winning over the little one with her food despite the injustice from the universe.
Asia giggled behind her hand, as she heard the fallen angel's resolve to earn a right to pat the new member, in their family.
Motohama sighed, settling deeper into the couch cushions as Mew curled up on his lap mimicking his relieved expression.
---
The next day.
Morning light made their way through the kitchen windows as Motohama stood at the stove, playing the role of responsible adult since he was granted the powers of a chef.
SIZZLE!
The rice sizzled in the pan, mixing with curry sauce and vegetables in a careful balance of heat and timing.
"Mew! Mew!"
The pink familiar floated in circles around his head, nose twitching as divine smells filled the kitchen. Her eyes never left the sight of his food, with small drops of drool at the corner of her mouth.
Motohama's free hand came up to pat her head.
"Just one more minute"
"Mew!" She nodded enthusiastically, tail swishing behind her with the excitement.
"Can you wake up Kala and Asia for me?"
Mew saluted with one tiny paw like a miniature soldier and zoomed off down the corridor, her pink form disappearing around the corner with suspicious enthusiasm.
Motohama turned back to the stove, cracking eggs with ease and absolutely zero awareness of the chaos he'd just unleashed.
The Curry Risotto Omurice came was prepared in stages, first fluffy eggs folding over seasoned rice, curry sauce drizzled in artistic patterns across the top. He plated four servings, then added two extra portions.
'One serving is never enough in this household. We eat like Vikings preparing for Ragnarok'
He carried the dishes to the dining table, arranging them carefully. Footsteps echoed from the hallway, approaching fast with the urgency
"Good mor—"
The words died in his throat like a man facing his execution.
Kalawarner and Asia stood in the hallway entrance, completely drenched.
Water dripped from their hair, soaked their clothes, and pooled at their feet on the hardwood floor like they'd just gone swimming fully clothed. Kalawarner's left eye twitched with barely suppressed homicidal rage. Asia looked like a drowned kitten, her eyes wide with shock and betrayal.
"Mimimimimi~!"
Mew floated behind them, one tiny paw covering her mouth as she giggled with the shameless pride of someone who'd just pulled off the perfect crime. Her tail swished with obvious satisfaction at a job well done.
'I think I should train her from today'
RINGGG!
The doorbell's cheerful chime came like a divine intervention from some merciful deity who'd come to rescue of the little one.
"I'll get that!"
Motohama sprinted toward the front door, abandoning all responsibility for his familiar's mischief with the kind of tactical cowardice that would make Sun Tzu proud.
He yanked the door open, ready to greet whoever had just saved him from Kalawarner's wrath and possibly a very uncomfortable conversation about proper familiar discipline.
His eyebrow rose, surprise flickered across his features, followed by genuine curiosity and a healthy dose of "what fresh hell is this?"
"Well, well"
A small smirk spread across his face, as he leaned against the door.
"I wasn't expecting a visit from you two to my humble abode"
. . .
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