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"AHHHHH! Lord Fourth is so handsome! I'm gonna bear his triplets!"
"Wife, dear, could you… maybe tone it down a little? I'm standing right here…"
"WOOOO! Lord Hokage! ALL HAIL THE FOURTH!"
Below the Hokage Building, as Chiba raised the Hokage hat in his hand, an earsplitting roar of cheers erupted from the crowd.
It really showed how little the people loved Hiruzen Sarutobi. Why didn't this handsome, generous Hokage who actually shared the wealth take over sooner?!
In the crowd, Mitokado Tsuki lowered her proud head.
That commoner boy she once looked down upon was now someone she had to look up to. The taste in her mouth was incredibly sour.
"Big sis… I can't tell… I really can't tell what's real anymore. Maybe you should slap m—I'M KIDDING, BIG SIS!!"
Seeing his best friend dressed in the Hokage's robes, Nawaki's face was a mask of utter bewilderment. It all felt like a dream. It wasn't until Tsunade raised her hand that he jolted back to reality—this was absolutely, definitely not a dream!
"I, Nawaki, am now the Hokage's sworn brother! AHAHAHAHA!" Nawaki let out a triumphant, boisterous laugh.
Tsunade smiled too, her gaze softening as she looked up at Chiba. He was Hokage now. They could finally be together openly.
"Mikoto, you're going to be the Hokage's wife now. Way more impressive than just a clan head's wife like me. Aren't you happy?"
In the Uchiha clan's designated viewing area, Uchiha Miyu nudged her younger sister with her elbow, teasing her with a grin.
"Aiya, sister, stop saying nonsense! Things between Chiba and I… they're not settled yet."
Two blushes bloomed on Mikoto's lovely cheeks as she shyly deflected.
But the joy shining in her eyes as she looked at Chiba told a different story. Her heart was already quietly painting pictures of a sweet future for the two of them.
"It's over… The obstacles to being with Rin just got even bigger… Rin! For you, I, Obito, swear I will become the next Hokage!"
"Hn. Idiot."
Kakashi shot Obito a glance and offered his cold assessment. Standing behind them both, Rin simply smiled without a word.
(And so, Obito leaned in and whispered in Kakashi's ear: "My ultimate move, everyone can substitute out of. Everyone but you, Kakashi.")
"Yahiko, Big Brother Chiba became Hokage! Why aren't you excited at all?"
"Hmph. You and Nagato are such amateurs. I saw it ages ago. My junior brother Chiba has 'rebellious bones.' Usurping power was inevitable. Not surprising in the least."
And so, Yahiko, convinced of his own uniqueness, received a thorough beating from Nagato and Konan on this joyous day.
…
Nadeshiko Village.
Jiraiya's legs were soaking in the hot spring. Bare-chested, he leaned back into Nadeshiko Amane's embrace, enjoying the delicacies fed to him by her slender fingers and the soothing massage of her hands.
"Stealing a half-day of leisure from a busy life… nothing beats this!"
Jiraiya squinted his eyes in bliss. Since arriving at Nadeshiko Village to keep his appointment, he had stayed for several months, diligently "sparring" with Nadeshiko Amane.
Her taijutsu was remarkably exquisite. Jiraiya didn't dare hold back, having to go all out. There had been several close calls where they'd nearly created a new life.
"No more worrying about the shinobi world. No more burdensome destiny. This is the life I always wanted."
Jiraiya set down his sake cup, idly playing with Amane's delicate foot, a private sigh of contentment escaping him.
Just then, a kunoichi hurried into the bathhouse. She bowed respectfully to the pair.
"My lord, my lady, I've just received news. Lord Jiraiya's disciple, Lord Chiba, has officially been inaugurated as the Fourth Hokage."
"(òwó?)! NANI?!"
Jiraiya's jaw dropped. He shot up from his seated position so fast he almost smashed his head into Amane's chin.
«Chiba became Hokage already? That fast? The old man actually let go of his power? He didn't… kill the old man, did he? And with Chiba's lazy personality, won't Konoha descend into chaos? I need to go back…!»
Worry was his first instinct.
But then it hit him. Chiba was now a figure who could dictate the fate of the entire shinobi world. As a mature Child of Prophecy, what happened in Konoha, in the world, was no longer his burden to bear.
"My love, do you wish to return to Konoha to see? I can accompany you."
Seeing Jiraiya's dramatic reaction, Nadeshiko Amane gently ruffled his messy silver hair.
"Go back to Konoha? Why? I find joy here and think not of Konoha! Keep the music playing! Let the dance continue!"
"Aah~! You rogue, what are you doing?! Someone's watching!"
Amidst Amane's mock protests, Jiraiya roared with laughter and pulled her fully into the spring. Her alluring curves and the water's glistening points became clearly visible.
"This subordinate takes her leave!"
The kunoichi hastily bowed and retreated, not daring to look back, leaving the entire bathhouse to the playful pair.
…
"Sigh. This Hokage job really isn't for humans. Mountains of paperwork to process every single day."
In the Hokage's office, Chiba let out a long, world-weary sigh.
"Chiba, you say that as if you're the one processing any of these documents!"
At a nearby desk, Minato looked up from the pile of files he was reviewing, his tone full of complaint.
"Yeah! In all my life, I've never had to work this much!"
Nawaki also closed a file, shooting a look of pure disdain at Chiba. "Are you just a figurehead Hokage? Why are we doing all the work while you're the Hokage?"
Nara Shikaku and Yamanaka Ryoka wanted to complain too, but their relationship with Chiba wasn't as close. They thought better of it and swallowed their words.
They had never seen such a leisurely Hokage. The man did nothing himself, dumping all of the village's administrative tasks onto the four of them!
"Eh~ You misunderstand! This is because I trust you! I'm giving you a chance to showcase your talents! Countless people would kill to become Hokage aides! You should learn to appreciate it!"
Chiba's lies just flowed. "Think about it! When Hiruzen Sarutobi was in power, did he ever share a shred of authority? But I, without hesitation, handed it all to you!"
Taken in by Chiba's masterful spiel, the four reluctantly returned to their work. What else could they do, saddled with such a shameless best friend and boss?
"Alright! You all keep working! I'll be taking my leave now!"
With a cheerful wave, Chiba sauntered out of the Hokage office. Work? He wasn't going to work. Not in this lifetime.
Chiba's self-assessment was crystal clear. His role as Hokage was primarily for show—ahem—for deterrence. He just needed to be an imposing presence. That was it. Everything else? Not his problem.
For internal affairs, he'd installed the new "Konoha F4." The ANBU was handed over to a transformed Hiruko, who was impersonating some nobody. Root remained under Orochimaru's control. He created nominal, hollow positions of "Hokage Advisor" for Uchiha Fugaku and the Hyūga clan head.
Furthermore, he lifted the ANBU and Root restrictions on the Uchiha and opened up the Konoha Military Police Force, allowing non-Uchiha villagers to take the exam and join.
Backed by his absolute power, Chiba was confident this setup would keep Konoha running smoothly for decades.
…
After leaving the office, Chiba thought for a moment, then headed to Nawaki's house.
"Big Brother Chiba! You're here!"
The moment she saw him, Konan threw herself into Chiba's arms, nuzzling against him affectionately.
"Konan, where are Yahiko and Nagato?"
Chiba scanned the living room but didn't see them.
"Yahiko ran off to play again. Nagato's meditating in his room. He probably didn't notice you came. I'll go get him."
"No need, Konan. I actually have some things to discuss with Nagato privately. You can go back to your room for now."
Hearing this, Chiba patted Konan's bottom, set her down, and smiled as he ruffled her hair.
"Oh… okay then."
Konan pouted, a little unhappy, and retreated to her room.
«I thought Big Brother Chiba came specifically to see me… Turns out he was looking for Nagato… Hmph! My affections were misplaced!»
Chiba pushed open the door to Nagato's room. Only then did Nagato emerge from his meditation, looking at Chiba with surprise.
"Big Brother Chiba? When did you get here? Please, have a seat."
Chiba raised a hand to stop Nagato from getting up. He sat cross-legged beside him and gently rubbed his head.
"Nagato. You've been meditating a lot lately. Are you still worried about… losing control?"
"…Yeah."
Nagato nodded silently, his head hanging low.
That immense power felt more like a curse. He was too young to control it. Any emotional turbulence could trigger it, hurting the people around him.
He lived every day in quiet dread. Around Konan and the others, he was always so careful, like a giant playing with tiny friends, terrified he might accidentally "crush" them.
"I see."
Chiba nodded slightly, showing he understood.
In the original timeline, Nagato was also frequently tormented by the Rinnegan's power. It was only under Jiraiya's guidance, after coming to believe he was a "god," that he finally accepted it.
«Maybe this Nagato wouldn't be too upset about losing this power?»
Chiba ventured, "Nagato… if I said I had a way to transfer the power within you, but the price is you'd lose this immense strength forever… would you…"
"Is there really a way, Big Brother Chiba?!"
Before Chiba could finish, Nagato looked up, his face alight with desperate hope.
Now, living a happy, peaceful life in Konoha with Konan and Yahiko, he didn't need this power to protect them. All it brought him was anguish!
"I understand, Nagato. Have a good sleep. When you wake up, this worry will be gone."
A wave of relief washed over Chiba. He let out a soft breath and gently passed his hand over Nagato's cheek, plunging the boy into a deep slumber.
…
"Senior Madara. I've brought Nagato and the Seven-Tails Jinchūriki."
In the underground palace, Chiba casually tossed the Seven-Tails host to the floor. Cradling Nagato, he approached Uchiha Madara.
"Hmph. Well then, as you wish. I'll extract my ocular power… slowly."
Seeing Chiba had no intention of letting go of Nagato, Madara stood up with obvious displeasure. He placed a hand on the acupoints above Nagato's eyes and began the process of reclaiming the ocular power that was rightfully his.
BOOM.
Several hours later…
A profound purple light flashed within the new eyes Madara had cultivated using Yin-Yang Release. A terrifying force of repulsion erupted from him, blasting directly towards Chiba.
SWOOSH!
Chiba's form, still holding Nagato, vanished. Using the Flying Thunder God Technique to evade the blast, he reappeared alone right in front of Madara, his gaze icy.
"My apologies, Chiba. With such a large influx of ocular power returning, my control… slipped for a moment."
Seeing that Chiba showed no fear of the Rinnegan's power—only clear impatience—Madara broke the tense silence first.
"Heh. So the Asura of the Shinobi World in his old age is just like any other senior citizen. Prone to… involuntary incontinence."
Chiba sneered, utterly dismissing Madara's excuse, delivering the insult point-blank.
"You…!"
Madara's hair seemed to stand on end with rage. His voice turned frigid. "Chiba. Even a Buddha's patience has its limits. Speak to me with such disrespect again, and I will not be so accommodating."
Chiba didn't push further. Their relationship now was like a grumpy old married couple who couldn't stand each other but were stuck together. What could they do? Make it work.
"The Three-Tails and Six-Tails are also secured. Come. Assist me with the sealing, Chiba."
Sure enough, once Chiba backed down, Madara reined in his temper. They slipped back into their transactional partnership. Madara spoke, the words clearly distasteful to him.
In the original timeline, Nagato needed ten people working in unison to control the Gedo Statue for each tailed beast sealing.
Madara could slowly move the statue alone, but with Chiba's help, the process became exponentially easier.
"Fine. Let's begin."
With practiced ease, Chiba leaped onto one of the Gedo Statue's massive fingers. Following Madara's lead, he began to assist with the Phantom Dragons Nine Sealing technique.
SWOOSH!
Under their combined control, the Gedo Statue slowly opened its maw. Nine glowing, dragon-like tendrils of chakra shot out, piercing the prone form of the Seven-Tails Jinchūriki.
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
The dragon-lights were ferocious. They ruthlessly tore the struggling Seven-Tails, Chōmei, from its host, dragging the screeching beast towards the statue's waiting jaws.
(The anime's sealing order has a bug, forcing 1-9. The manga shows the One-Tail was third. The only clear rule is that the strongest, the Nine-Tails, must be last, or the Gedo Statue will collapse.)
"Chiba. Remember, leave the Nine-Tails for last. Bring me the Four-Tails and Five-Tails as soon as possible. I will secure the remaining three beasts with haste."
During the sealing, Madara couldn't contain his impatience.
He had waited decades. Now, with his Moon's Eye Plan within reach, he didn't want to wait a single day more.
Of course, the bigger reason was he couldn't stand enduring this arrogant junior's presence any longer!
«Hah. I can't wait to see the look on your face when you discover the truth. Just imagining it is satisfying. When you realize your meticulous scheming merely paved the way for another… try not to cry, little boy. Hahahaha.»
Madara stared at Chiba's face, the dark thought bringing him immense private pleasure.
"Understood. Then, Senior Madara, you should move against Kumogakure's Two-Tails and Eight-Tails hosts first."
Chiba pondered. "After 'learning' of your tailed beast raids, I will make a timely appearance in Sunagakure to 'confront' you when you seize the One-Tail."
"Agreed. That will suffice."
Madara accepted readily.
At that moment, Black Zetsu oozed from a nearby wall. He watched his two tools plot against each other, a smug smile on his featureless face, confident he held the winning hand.
Three plotters, each with their own hidden agenda, each planning to use the other's plan to fulfill their own. Only time would tell who would have the last laugh.
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