(Week One)
Emilia's POV
Life after that alley got very quiet. Too quiet. The type of quiet that made me want to hit something or scream at someone, Or maybe do both simultaneously.
I wanted to hit and scream at Luca for staying behind, and possibly getting himself killed.
I mean how dumb can a person be to choose to stay back and fight a Marchetti in bloody little Italy.
I took a look around this safe house. Safe house was a bit of an overstatement. It was more like a pile of wood held together by spit and duct tape.
The place was... Just like me. Sad, broken, useless. Just a pile of nothing, a waste of space waiting for the right pressure to send it crumbling.
Rain came through holes in the roof and fell into a pot on the floor. The pot itself had holes and looked like rat had been using it as a personal hiding house.
I sat there and watched the water drip.
Plink. Plink. Plink.
Dumb. Foolish!
Dumb and foolish boy!
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid Luca!
I counted the drops so I wouldn't have to think. Thinking hurt too much. Continuously having flashes of his dead body, hurt too much.
Linda threw a blanket at my head. "Stop staring at nothing. You're scaring me."
"I'm fine." I drawed out and adjusted my sitting position. "I'm really fine, Lyn"
I lied.
I wasn't fine. I don't think I'd ever be fine. But I didn't know how to say that out loud especially to Linda. Keeping us alive has been a bit of a full time job since Juvie.
"You look like death." Linda kicked an old bedframe and a rat ran out. "This place is a nightmare. We should have gone to New York like I said. They are not gods there, Baby. We should have gone to New York"
I traced the mold on the wall with my finger. Brown and green and stupid ugly. "There wasn't time. Giovanni said this place was safe."
"Giovanni works for your father. He's a baffoon"
"He was Paolo's friend" I murmured and looked down on the ugly wall.
"Tell me we are not living in this deathtrap because of him. Because you think he is actually going to find you. Tell me I'm not risking my life for some... Stupid fuck boy, Emilia!"
"Linda!" I screamed at my friend, my eyes tearing up on clue. "Until you are the very reason someone loses their lives, you have got no right to judge me, no right whatsoever. You have no idea how I feel! How I feel!" I told a deep breath. "I have my mother's blood on my hands and I refuse to have his blood on my hand too. And he wasn't some stupid fuck boy! He liked me. He genuinely...really genuinely liked me."
For a minute, we simply stared at each in furious silence. She was first to turn away.
"He's not some fuck boy" I murmured to her. She didn't look at me "Linda" I called out to her.
She risked everything for me. Her life. Her future. For what? So I could sit in a dirty cabin and watch water drip?
"Lyn. I'm sorry I yelled at you"
"We are good" She murmured briskly. Her tone telling me she would like to be left alone.
"You should go home," I told her. "Before my father finds out you helped me."
Linda ignored me. She opened a rusty cupboard and started cursing.
"No food. No radio. Just..." She held up a can. "Sardines. Expired in 1998."
"We're not on vacation." I whispered.
"Could have fooled me." She threw the can out the broken window angrily. It landed in mud with a sad sound. "This is where people come to die. It's just a matter of time before they find us. You know that, right?"
I found a corner and lay down. I turned my face to the wall so Linda couldn't see me. So she couldn't see whatever was breaking inside my chest.
Find me. I said in my head over and over again.
Find me.
"Do you think he made it?" I whispered out loud to Linda.
"Who?"
"The boy. From the club."
Linda threw another sardine can out the window. It hit something metal. I knew she was imagining that it hit my head "Your fuck boy? Yeah. I'm sure he's perfectly fine." She said sarcastically.
"I'm going to sleep" I murmured.
I heard her winced and then took a deep breath.
"I'm sure he's fine, Baby. I'm sure he's looking for you"
I wanted to but I didn't believe her. I couldn't. She was lying through her teeth for my benefits. It was what best friend did.
Find me. I prayed one more time.
Please. Please.
Find me.