Chapter 62 The Poop-Green Joke, and "Namo Gatling Bodhisattva"
The opening ceremony of the Heavenly Battle Arena.
The entire Heaven Dou City seemed to be in an uproar. As the grandest festival in the Soul Master world, the preliminary rounds of the Continental High-Level Soul Master Elite Tournament attracted the attention of countless people. The streets were packed with people, and colorful flags fluttered in the wind.
However, the atmosphere in the rest area for the contestants leading to the Grand Arena was rather...strange.
The Shrek Seven Devils (at this time, only six of them plus substitutes) were lined up, heads down, wishing they could bury their faces in their chests. Even Ma Hongjun, who was usually thick-skinned, was blushing and fidgeting.
The reason was simple: their team uniforms. It was an indescribable green. Not a vibrant emerald green, nor a deep, dignified dark green, but a kind of green that made one want to vomit at first glance—a shit-green. What was even more disheartening was that six bright red characters were printed on the back of the uniforms: "Seeking Sponsorship."
"Dean...do I really have to wear this?" Ning Rongrong was practically in despair. She was the little princess of the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile School; if her father and Grandpa Sword saw this, it would be worse than death for her. Flander pushed up his glasses, his face full of righteousness: "Rongrong, cultivators shouldn't care about external things. What's wrong with the color? Green represents health and environmental protection! Besides, this advertising space is very valuable; it's for the academy's funding."
Tang San trailed at the back of the group, the scars on his face, not yet fully faded, appearing even more menacing against the backdrop of his green clothes. He clenched his fists, silently reciting the Grandmaster's teachings: "Only by enduring what ordinary people cannot endure can one achieve what ordinary people cannot achieve. Clothes are merely appearances; strength is true dignity."
Just then, a series of steady, powerful footsteps came from behind. Accompanying them was a chilling, murderous aura.
A loud, undisguised sneer rang out.
Tang San whirled around, his pupils contracting sharply. Ye Feng and his "Glory Team" were slowly approaching. Unlike Shrek Academy's comical attire, Ye Feng and his group were the center of attention. They all wore long, tailored black and gold trench coats, their sharp lines accentuating their tall figures. The cuffs and collars were embroidered with silver mechanical patterns that shimmered under the lights. Each person wore a tactical belt, adorned with delicate soul tool accessories. The men were dashing and aloof, the women valiant and spirited. This wasn't just a soul master team; it was a futuristic interstellar special forces unit.
"Hey, isn't this Shrek Academy's top student?" Ye Feng stopped and looked Tang San up and down, his gaze finally settling on the advertisement behind him. "'Seeking title sponsors'? Tsk tsk tsk." "Tang San, are you here to compete, or to be living billboards?" "This color is a great choice, it suits you perfectly. It's a glowing green, a green that... tells a story."
The other teams from the surrounding academies noticed this and burst into laughter. "Which academy is that guy in the green shirt from? He's so ugly!" "Haha, I think it's called Shrek? I heard it's some kind of monster academy, so it's 'ugly'!"
Tang San's face instantly turned ashen, and his body trembled slightly. Grandmaster Yu Xiaogang stepped forward at this moment, his hands behind his back, his face full of arrogance: "Ye Feng, stop with the empty talk. Clothes are just a shell; a Soul Master's strength lies in their inner Soul Power and tactical skills. No matter how flashy your clothes are, if your strength is lacking, it's nothing more than showing off."
"Inner strength?" Ye Feng sneered, approaching Yu Xiaogang and looking down at the "master" who was half a head shorter than him. "Master, your theories are always so... self-deceptive." "You don't even care about the most basic aesthetics and dignity, so what are you talking about the heart of a strong person?" "What's the point of letting these teenagers dress like this on stage, besides satisfying your twisted 'uniqueness' mentality?" "You're humiliating them."
These words, like a thorn, pierced the hearts of the Shrek Seven Devils. Dai Mubai and Oscar lowered their heads in shame, and even Tang San couldn't help but glance at Grandmaster, a hint of doubt flashing in his eyes.
"Let's go, don't get tainted by foolishness." Ye Feng waved his hand and led the group past. As he passed Zhu Zhuqing, she deliberately paused and gave Dai Mubai a cold glance. There was no hatred in her eyes, only the indifference one would show when looking at roadside trash. This indifference broke Dai Mubai's heart more than hatred.
At the end of the entrance passage, the light gradually brightened. Ye Feng stopped and adjusted his Thousand Chance Umbrella. "Captain." Zhu Zhuqing suddenly walked up to him. "Hmm?" Ye Feng looked down. "Your collar is crooked."
Zhu Zhuqing extended her slender, white fingers and gently adjusted the collar of Ye Feng's trench coat. Her movements were very light; her fingertips accidentally brushed against Ye Feng's Adam's apple, bringing a slightly cool sensation. The two were extremely close, close enough that Ye Feng could smell her faint fragrance and that Zhu Zhuqing's long eyelashes were clearly visible.
This scene was witnessed by Tang San and the others who came out from behind. Dai Mubai's eyes instantly reddened; that was his fiancée! Yet, she was acting like a submissive wife, tidying up another man's clothes!
Zhu Zhuqing seemed completely unconcerned about the stares of others. After tidying herself up, she raised her head, her usually aloof eyes now reflecting Ye Feng's image. "Don't overexert yourself in the first round." "I'll be there for the rest."
That one sentence, "I'm here for you," speaks volumes. Ye Feng smiled and gently flicked her nose (a classic gesture Ye Xiu used towards Su Mucheng in "Glory"). "Don't worry. Dealing with a bunch of weaklings isn't even a warm-up."
Ning Rongrong watched this scene from afar, feeling a pang of jealousy. She stamped her foot and muttered under her breath, "Hmph, vixen... no, cat spirit!" But then, she felt a surge of envy. Would she dare to do that in front of everyone?
After the opening ceremony, the first round of the draw began. Perhaps it was fate, or perhaps it was for the sake of the show. Shrek Academy drew the second team of the Heaven Dou Royal Academy (from the original story). Ye Feng's "Glory Team," on the other hand, drew an even more interesting opponent—the Elephant Armor Academy, to which the Elephant Armor Sect belongs (a team with extremely strong defense in the original story, led by Hu Yanli).
In the rest area, the master looked at the match schedule, his brow furrowed, then relaxed, revealing a confident smile. "Little Three, this is a good opportunity." "The Elephant Armor Sect is renowned for its defense; they're a pure defensive team. They're tough and resilient, best at attrition warfare." "Ye Feng's Thousand Manifestations Umbrella, while powerful offensively, I've observed that its mechanical transformations and launches consume a tremendous amount of soul power." "With the Elephant Armor Sect's turtle shell-like defenses, if Ye Feng gets bogged down in a prolonged battle, his soul power will inevitably be exhausted. That's when he'll embarrass himself." "This is a classic example of elemental advantage. Offensive teams fear nothing more than this kind of impenetrable defensive team."
Tang San nodded, a hint of satisfaction flashing in his eyes: "Teacher is right. Ye Feng relies too much on external aids. If we can't finish this quickly, he'll become a sitting duck."
On the arena, the seven members of Elephant Armor Academy stormed onto the stage like mountains of flesh. Leading them, Hu Yanli, stood over two meters tall, his muscles like granite, causing the arena to tremble with every step he took. "Glory Team? Hmph!" Hu Yanli scoffed at the "slender" handsome men and beautiful women opposite him. "What good are good looks? Can they break through my defenses?" "Brothers, activate your Martial Souls! Diamond Mammoth!"
Boom! Boom! Boom! Seven "mountains of flesh" simultaneously possessed their martial spirits, their skin instantly keratinizing and transforming into thick armor. They lined up in a row, like an impenetrable wall of copper and iron, pressing down on Ye Feng and the others.
On Ye Feng's side, Shui Bing'er and the others were about to step forward when Ye Feng stopped them. "No need." Ye Feng took out a pair of sunglasses from inside his trench coat and slowly put them on. "It's a bit noisy today, I want to finish work early and go get some late-night snacks." "You guys step back, don't get splattered with blood."
Shui Bing'er and the others were taken aback, but out of absolute trust in their captain, they immediately retreated to the edge of the arena.
"One person?" Huyanli laughed wildly. "Kid, you're too arrogant! Crush him!" The seven diamond mammoths launched a charge, a force powerful enough to flatten a city wall.
Ye Feng stood still, raising the Thousand Manifestations Umbrella above his head with one hand. Click-click-click-click—! A series of teeth-grinding mechanical clicking sounds echoed throughout the arena. This time, the Thousand Manifestations Umbrella didn't transform into a spear, nor a shield. Instead, the umbrella ribs frantically flipped and multiplied, countless intricate parts rapidly assembling under the infusion of soul power. In a mere three seconds, the once lightweight umbrella transformed into a ferocious behemoth, a meter and a half long, with six thick gun barrels. Those dark muzzles emanated a chilling aura from hell.
The Myriad Manifestations Umbrella - Heavy Weapon Form - Gatling Gun. Moreover, this is a modified version by Ye Feng, incorporating Soul Guidance Technology - the Storm Gatling Gun.
"What is that?" Even Emperor Xueye in the stands couldn't help but stand up. "A pipe?" Ning Fengzhi also looked bewildered. "Is it also a hidden weapon?"
Ye Feng, carrying the heavy Gatling gun in both hands, aimed it at the charging Elephant Armor Team. A cruel smile curled at the corner of his lips. "High defense?" "Then let's do some math." "Your defense is 1000. My single-shot attack power is 100." "But... what if there's no time limit?" "Rate of fire is justice." "Caliber is truth."
Whoosh—!!! The sound of the motor warming up filled the air. The next second... *Put-putt ...
Blue flames erupted instantly, reaching a meter in length! A dense barrage of soul energy bullets, like a torrential downpour, instantly engulfed the seven mountains of flesh ahead. This wasn't a few shots, nor dozens. It was a metal storm of 6000 bullets per minute!
"Aaaaaaah!" Hu Yanli, who was at the forefront, screamed in agony. His diamond defense was indeed strong, blocking the first, the tenth, and even the hundredth shot. However, when the same point is hit thousands of times in a single second, collapse is inevitable.
Debris flew everywhere, and blood splattered. Hu Yanli's prized keratinous armor was torn apart like paper. The immense impact prevented him from moving forward even a step; instead, the terrifying recoil forced him backward repeatedly.
"Scatter! Scatter now!" Hu Yanli shouted desperately. But the Gatling gun's muzzle could move. Ye Feng remained expressionless, his arm as steady as a mountain, the muzzle slowly sweeping horizontally. A fan of death.
Whether it was a defensive Soul Master or a Diamond Mammoth, all beings were equal before this torrent of steel. The seven strong men were like harvested wheat, flying backward with screams, their bodies riddled with bullet holes (although Ye Feng controlled the power and avoided hitting vital organs due to the competition rules, they still suffered physical pain).
Thirty seconds. Just thirty seconds. The gunfire stopped abruptly. The gun barrel was still spinning rapidly, emitting wisps of smoke. On the arena, apart from Ye Feng, no one else was standing. The seven members of Elephant Armor Academy were all covered in blood (mostly superficial wounds), lying on the ground convulsing. Their gruesome state was as if they had just survived a meat grinder.
Ye Feng blew away the smoke from the gun barrel. He said calmly, "Namo Gatling Bodhisattva, may all senses be purified." "Take him away, next one."
The entire arena fell silent. Then erupted screams that nearly lifted the roof off. "That was amazing!!" "Was that a miracle?!"
In Shrek Academy's rest area, the atmosphere was icy cold. Tang San stared blankly at the replay on the large screen. His hands trembled violently. As a Tang Sect disciple, his greatest pride was his hidden weapon technique. What was this "Rain of Flowers" or "One Thousand and One Nights"? They were all a joke in front of that Gatling gun. "What...what kind of hidden weapon is that?" Tang San muttered to himself, "No need to charge, no need for technique, no need for aiming..." "How is this possible? Three thousand six hundred rotations in a single breath? What kind of mechanism can do that?" This pure firepower suppression left him feeling utterly powerless. His Blue Silver Grass would probably be riddled with holes before it even had a chance to entangle him.
"Impossible! This is absolutely impossible!" Yu Xiaogang's face turned deathly pale, and he lost his composure once again. "That kind of attack density requires soul power to condense for each bullet. Even a Soul Saint couldn't last more than ten seconds!" "He just fired at least three thousand bullets! How could his soul power not be exhausted?" "Cheating! He must have used some kind of banned drugs or overdrawn his life force!"
However, Ye Feng on the arena was not exhausted at all. Instead, he returned the Thousand Chance Umbrella to its original form with great energy, and even had the leisure to give Shui Bing'er a high five. His complexion was rosy, and his breathing was steady. There was not a trace of soul power depletion on his face.
What the master didn't know was that the Gatling gun form of the Thousand Manifestations Umbrella primarily consumed the high-pressure soul power magazine stored in the chamber (Ye Feng regularly charged it, like a power bank), rather than constantly consuming his own soul power. This was a technological gap. While the master was still researching "physical energy allocation" in the era of cold weapons, Ye Feng had already started playing "energy reserve warfare."
Back in the lounge, Ye Feng had barely sat down when a fiery red figure rushed over. It was Huo Wu. This former pride and goddess of Blazing Fire Academy was now looking at Ye Feng with eyes that could practically melt him. Admiration for the strong is an instinct for Soul Masters. And a girl with Huo Wu's fiery temper is utterly powerless against this extreme, violent aesthetic.
"That move! I want to learn it!" Huo Wu braced herself against the back of Ye Feng's chair, her face close, her breathing rapid. "It was so powerful! That feeling of tearing everything apart... Is this what you called 'firepower coverage'?"
Ye Feng smiled as he looked at the pretty face so close to his. "Want to learn?" "This is a secret I don't pass on. Besides, your fire attribute is actually more suited to another playstyle." "Like... incendiary bombs? Or flamethrowers?"
"I want to learn! No matter the cost!" Huo Wu's eyes burned with determination. "Even if..." She bit her lip, her cheeks flushed, but her gaze was unusually bold, "even if it means becoming your..."
"Ahem." Shui Bing'er coughed twice at the opportune moment, handing Ye Feng a glass of water and subtly pushing Huo Wu aside. "Captain, have some water." Shui Bing'er's voice was still gentle, but her eyes carried a hint of "official" warning. "Huo Wu, don't bite off more than you can chew. Have you mastered your Fire Resistance Ring?"
The two women locked eyes, and sparks seemed to fly between them. Ye Feng leaned back comfortably in his chair, savoring the subtle romance of this chaotic scene. This was life, wasn't it?
In the corner, Ning Rongrong remained silent. She was reviewing the battle that had just taken place. If she were on the other side, facing that Gatling gun, how many seconds could she survive? The answer was: zero seconds. The amplification from the Nine Treasure Glazed Tile Pagoda had no chance to be used against that overwhelming firepower.
"See that?" Ye Feng had appeared beside her without her noticing. "That's why I'm training your dodging and survival skills." "In this world, there are many unreasonable forces. No matter how strong your amplification is, if you're riddled with holes before you even make a move, it's all for nothing."
Ning Rongrong raised her head, her eyes no longer filled with fear, but with determination. "Tonight...let's continue training." "I want to learn the Shadow Step. I want to learn how to survive in that hail of bullets."
Ye Feng nodded in satisfaction. "Very good." "Tonight, we'll increase the intensity. I'll use the Thousand Chance Umbrella's automatic firing mode to hunt you down." "If you don't want to become a hornet's nest, run faster."
Watching Ye Feng's departing figure, Ning Rongrong clenched her fists. She was no longer the spoiled young lady who only knew how to cry. She wanted to be the strongest support, standing behind this perverted man...
Meanwhile, Tang San, his face grim, stared at Ye Feng's retreating figure, the purple glint in his eyes growing ever stronger. "Ye Feng... since your hidden weapons are no match for yours," he thought, "then let's settle this with poison." "Next time, if we meet again... I'll show you that the Tang Clan is more than just hidden weapons."
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