I am awake.
I couldn't sleep anyway, I thought my brain would finally rest since I've been backed with work, school and music left right and centre, but I couldn't close my eyes for longer than four hours last night. I ended up going online and there were a few more people , hundreds to say the least who felt miserable on our behalf. Others talked about how they want to see us again and others expressed regret that they knew our pair would highly likely not work together again, new fans were coming in and oblivious to the gloom surrounding the fans who were there since day one of filming, most wished us beautiful futures regardless of which path we chose.
Watching all these edits and comments made me even more depressed if not close to being delusional , their perfectly orchestrated stories almost made me believe I could live in a world like that but there are no sweet songs or slow motions in reality.
The world is dark Bermuda that wants to swallow my soul and replace it with the one of a man I've only ever known from paper.
Realising Alice wouldn't take me on her adventures in wonderland, I decided it was better to turn off my phone and get some coffee and focus on my assignments .
"Jack! Jack!"
Its only been a few hours since I closed my eyes but I'm awakened by a muffled voice calling me out of my abyss, I guess I must have slept on my desk while writing. Science to the rescue yet again in a world where super heroes only save people in America, just 5 paragraphs and the chemistry of black and white paper produced a sleeping pill.
"I'm coming " I reply with a groggy voice while trying to massage my neck - my head hurts. Before I could get up from my desk chair my mother walks in…
"Jac-..!..what are you doing !?..you should apparently be awake now, Ethan just called me because you didn't pick up your phone, he said he sent the directions of where to meet tonight on your phone and you have to come earlier at another location to discuss something with Eian and him ." She says while looking around in my room, its a clean mess but I'm sure she will still complain. She just has to.
"Tough night I see, I don't know what to say, I have never really worked with celebrities and I never expected that you would eventually be this big too but if you ever need comfort you know I am here for you." My mother Diana, says with a light smile on her face.I simply just nod at her and pick up a clean towel from the linen closet.
"Yes, go quickly shower and I will rush down and prepare a quick brunch for you and clean up your room a little will you!" She shouts before she disappears back into the hallway.
I guess that will never change .
Once I am done taking a shower, I properly towel dry myself and wrap the towel around my waist to protect my goddess body from the preying eyes of the ghost in my room.I gently apply some sunscreen on my face and parts of my body that I think will be exposed to the sun. It is hot in Reichenland. After I have finished with my non existent daily morning routine I find a long sleeve t-shirt in my messy closet and throw it on.
I have to remain a perfect Zack until the very end.
*
"That was fast." My mother says as soon as I step into our living room that doubles as an open kitchen.
"You are the one who said I should do everything quickly so.." I answer back to her comment while shrugging my shoulders and settling myself on one of the chairs on the six sitter family dinning table and picking up a piece of bread to eat. I am hungry.
"Yeah..yeah..the only time you actually ever listen to me..?.." She remarks while filling my plate with some sausages and boiled eggs cut in half topped with some mayo, her favourite that has now become my most eaten breakfast. She doesn't know how to cook a lot of things,I don't know how to cook, if Dad is on a business trip then we survive on takeaway.
"Healthy takeaway" according to her.
"I will clean my room tomorrow, you did hear Ethan say I need to get to the meeting on time, plus I think Drè should be here any minute to pick me up, we have to go get my car from the garage." I reply to my mother while filling my mouth with the delicious sausages, quickly stuffing myself so that I finish my food before my brother arrives. On most days he lives near campus with his friend Moses but on some weekends he comes over to the house to visit.Normally it is just my mum and I at home. ..oh and Dad..you will meet him soon..he is kind of ..well..we will cross that bridge when we get there.
"Okay...I will head out to meet your aunt Cecil I need to run now so see you later and don't forget to lock the door for all I know one of your little fans might have already found our house, I hear the fans these days are crazy, if I didn't love you I would have not let you join this dangerous industry,oh well..bye.." She speed talks while shoving some papers into her purse and runs out the door before I could even reply.
I understand my mother's concern but I think before the fans kill me, I would have died from this heartbreak of mine that is not even intended.
"Yo jack lets go!" Just then I hear the muffled voice of my brother shouting from outside and immediately I get up and drink a bit of water from the tap throwing the dishes into the dishwasher and then I swiftly pick up my set of house keys and phone then head out the door.
I don't know what will happen tonight but I hope it is not as painful as I think it will be seeing him for the very last time. I have to be strong, I am a trained actor after all, I can do this.
I think.