In Ásgarðr, the twins of light and darkness had completely different fates from the moment of their birth.
Baldr was like the stars holding the moon, while Hödr, the goddess of darkness, blind by nature, was like an inconspicuous gray shadow curled up in the most unnoticed corner of the Golden Palace.
In her world, there was no color, only a vague picture of sounds, temperatures, smells, and touches.
The loud laughter of the gods, the sharp clash of weapons, and the soft fragrance of mead... All of it belonged to her brother Baldr, who was as perfect as the sun itself.
And she, Hödr, could only feel the distant warmth through the cold stone pillars, like moss beneath the earth, never truly able to touch the sunlight.
The gods' dislike for her was not always expressed through direct bullying, but rather through complete neglect and subconscious rejection.
They would walk around her, automatically blocking her presence during conversations, as if she were a mass of dirt that could stain the light.
This silent indifference was more suffocating than any harsh words, like a fine web wrapping around her young heart layer by layer, making it hard to breathe in depression.
In this cold desert, only Freyr, the god of abundance, was a touch of true warmth.
He would come to her, sit on the cold stone steps, and in a gentle voice describe the blooming valleys of Vanaheimr, the shimmering wings of the elves of Álfheimr, and even the light of the magical sword he had lost.
He would also bring fruits with unusual textures or fragrant plants and place them in her hands for her to touch and smell.
For Hödr, Freyr almost filled the void of a 'father' figure—caring, patient, and never shying away from her darkness.
However, in this environment of extreme lovelessness and lack of recognition, Hödr's emotional perception had long been quietly distorted.
Her thirst for light, her longing for warmth, intertwined with hatred for her own darkness and inadequacy.
She could not understand the boundaries of familial affection like ordinary gods.
Loki, the god of trickery, who always watched everything with a mocking smile from the shadows, keenly perceived this.
Loki did not appear directly, but through some 'accidental' whispers, some 'inadvertently' overheard remarks about love and obsession, about why darkness could not embrace light.
"Look at poor little Hödr!"
Loki would speak into the air with a feigned sympathetic tone, ensuring Hödr could hear.
"She longs to be near the light, yet is bound by her own origins. What a cruel fate... Does darkness have no right to strive for light? Or perhaps the light should belong to the darkness, and only by fully possessing it can one fill their innate deficiencies?"
Hödr began to misinterpret Freyr's care as an emotion transcending familial love.
Her heart, wrapped in darkness and long unnourished by healthy love, began to darkly swell, regarding Freyr and Baldr—the only sources of light in her life—as objects of possessive desire.
This chaotic and burning feeling was a mixture of a longing for fatherly love, admiration for her brother, and a strange attachment instilled by Loki.
She could not distinguish them, and perhaps did not want to.
She only knew that she needed them, needed their light to dispel her innate coldness and loneliness.
Finally, one day, when Freyr came to visit her as usual, Hödr gathered the courage of her entire life.
She listened to Freyr's gentle voice, and her inner feelings were like boiling lava, bursting through the stone layer of inadequacy and fear.
"Freyr..." her voice was soft and trembling, her eyes 'looking' ahead blindly and unfocused, her hands nervously twisting the corners of her robe.
"You... you are so kind to me. Better than all the gods. I... I..."
She took a deep breath, as if mustering all her strength.
"I love you. Not... not the kind of love a daughter has for a father... It's the love a goddess has for a male god."
The air seemed to freeze.
Freyr was stunned, shocked and bewildered, but more than anything, he felt a sense of guilt and heartache, like an abyss.
He immediately understood that his care, born of compassion and responsibility, had inadvertently led this emotionally deprived child astray.
At the same time, he couldn't help but think of his own secret with Frigg, and this guilt burned his conscience like fire.
How could he accept this?
It was not only a taboo against incest, but also an additional catalyst for Hödr's twisted emotions.
"Hödr... my dear child..." Freyr's voice was unbearably hoarse and pained, and he was as cautious as if afraid of breaking a fragile piece of glass.
"No, you mustn't think that way. My care for you is the responsibility of an elder... I want you to be happy. You deserve love, but not in this way, and not from me."
He refused...
Hödr staggered back a step, and her pale face instantly drained of blood.
Icy despair enveloped her instantly.
Inadequacy was like a vine, and the madness within her whispered: 'See, even Freyr, who cares for you most, has rejected you. You truly are unworthy of love, you filthy darkness.'
Seeing Hödr wilt instantly, Freyr's heart felt as if it were torn apart.
An intense sense of guilt and pity overwhelmed everything.
He stepped forward, wanting to make amends, to give her a glimmer of hope, but he did not realize he was pushing her deeper into the abyss.
"Hödr, listen to me," he said, holding her cold, trembling hand, with a tone that almost pleaded for understanding.
"You are a goddess; you have unique beauty and value. Don't give up on yourself because of me. If you have love in your heart, why... why not try telling your brother Baldr? He is so smart and kind; he will surely respond to you in his own way and protect you. You are his sister; he cares about you. Perhaps... perhaps it will be different?"
This was a foolish suggestion.
Originally, Freyr had hoped that Baldr's light would dispel Hödr's darkness and correct her twisted attachment by redirecting it to sibling affection.
But he ignored Hödr's already abnormal thinking and underestimated the dangerous ripples the word 'different' could cause in her mind.
"Baldr... Brother?" Hödr murmured, a faint light flickering in her empty eyes.
Yes, and Baldr, her flawless, sun-like brother.
Since Freyr could not be hers, what about the equally radiant Baldr?
They were twins; they should be the closest beings, shouldn't they?
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