William naturally noticed Snape's gaze. The playful smile on his lips widened as he turned and, with practiced ease, took the alchemical pistol from the puppet's hand. He twirled the weapon around his finger by the trigger guard before leveling the muzzle steadily at Snape in the doorway.
"Freeze, Severus Snape. You're under arrest."
The air froze for two seconds.
Snape didn't so much as blink. He simply stared at William with the look one reserves for a troll, and a single word dropped coldly from his thin lips:
"Childish."
"No fun at all."
William curled his lip in boredom and tossed the gun behind him.
The alchemical puppet raised its hand with agility, catching the weapon with a precise snap, and resumed its alert, gun-wielding stance.
"You still have absolutely no sense of humor, Severus," William sighed, leaning against the doorframe and shaking his head. "It was that deathly demeanor of yours that made you so unpopular with the girls back in the day."
"Let me think... if back then you could have learned to tell even one dry joke or understood someone else's humor, maybe Lil—" William decided halfway through to change his phrasing, making an abrupt, awkward turn. "Maybe those girls would have had a much better opinion of you."
Then, he looked Snape up and down with a critical eye, scrutinizing the greasy hair and black robes.
"Actually, with your features, you could have pulled off the 'cool and aloof' look. But 'aloof' and 'gloomy' are two different things. If you don't practice hygiene, people looking at you will only feel like they're staring at an Inferius that just crawled out of the ground."
"Take my advice: wash your hair more often. It would at least bring your charm level from the negatives up to zero..."
"Enough!"
Snape's expression was unsightly. clearly, he had no desire to hear William discuss anything regarding "the past" or "image management."
"I came to find you on official business, not to listen to your insipid advice."
William had, of course, noticed that from the moment Snape entered, his eyes had been darting around the room, particularly toward the darker corners.
"Alright, business." William dropped his teasing expression and stepped aside, signaling that Snape didn't need to be so tense. "What do you want? If you don't speak clearly, this alchemical pistol of mine is prone to misfiring."
Snape ignored the threat. As he scanned the room, he got straight to the point.
"I heard you keep a Runespoor."
"And?" William asked nonchalantly.
"You should know that Runespoor eggs are extremely valuable in potion-making." Snape's eyes flickered. "They can be used to brew potions that enhance brain function."
"But because Runespoors are extremely scarce in Britain, and their native Ministry of Magic in Burkina Faso controls them strictly, the eggs are hard to come by even on the black market."
At this point, Snape paused, staring burningly at William. "I want the eggs."
"Oh—" William drawled, feigning sudden realization. "So, you're here to beg me for eggs?"
He didn't agree immediately. Instead, he crossed his arms and looked at Snape with a faint smile. "However, Severus, you don't look like someone asking for a favor. If I recall correctly, the last time we met, you spoke to me with hostility and even slammed my door."
"In the days since, whenever you saw me in the corridor, you twisted your head away as if your neck was cramping just to ignore me."
William shook his head, clicking his tongue in wonder. "That's not a friendly attitude. Even for a transaction, basic politeness is required, isn't it?"
Snape's cheek twitched; clearly, that hit home.
"I'm not asking for charity," he said stiffly. "I can pay for them."
"And I could choose not to sell," William said with a smile, spreading his hands.
Snape's face instantly turned ugly. He stared at William as if he might pounce on him the next moment.
The atmosphere in the room remained deadlocked for a moment.
Finally, weighing the pros and cons, Snape took a deep breath. As if swallowing a fly, he choked out a sentence from his throat with extreme difficulty:
"My mood wasn't the best earlier."
He added another sentence, his voice dry. "After all, we have always been friends. These small matters shouldn't affect that."
"That's more like it."
Seeing this obstinate stone finally soften, William nodded with satisfaction.
Dropping his airs, he bent down, reached under the sofa, and dragged out the slumbering giant snake.
"Come out and greet the guest, Otto."
As the orange, three-headed Runespoor was dragged into the light, Snape's gloomy eyes instantly lit up, his burning gaze locking tightly onto Otto's abdomen.
However, while idly playing with Otto's groggy middle head, William sighed with a tone of extreme regret and pity.
"It's a shame, Severus."
"What is?" Snape's heart sank, an ominous feeling rising within him.
"It's a shame that while I really want to help you, and would even be willing to give you a few eggs for free for the sake of our friendship..." William spread his hands. "I really can't give you any eggs."
"Why?" Snape's voice cracked slightly. "It looks healthy and in its prime!"
"Because Otto is male," William explained seriously. "And male snakes do not lay eggs."
"I believe this is a biological fact that even a first-year wizard understands, correct, Professor of Potions?"
"..."
Snape's face darkened at a speed visible to the naked eye, turning even blacker than the bottom of a burnt cauldron.
He felt hugely humiliated. He had endured William's teasing, even bowed his head to apologize, and the result was, "It's a male"?
"Are you mocking me?"
Snape gritted his teeth, looking as though he was about to hex William or the useless male snake into oblivion.
"Calm down, calm down." Seeing Snape baring his fangs again, William placed Otto back on the rug and waved his hand. "Although he can't lay eggs, a male snake isn't entirely useless."
"What do you mean?"
"Better to teach a man to fish than to give him a fish." William rubbed his chin, proposing seriously, "Since you need a long-term, stable source of snake eggs, what's the use of plucking just one snake like Otto? Even if he were female, you'd work him to death."
"If..." William pointed at Otto, then pointed out the window toward the Forbidden Forest, "you can procure—or even borrow—a female Runespoor from the black market, we might consider marking off an area in the Forbidden Forest specifically for breeding a Runespoor population."
"Then, it wouldn't be a question of just a few eggs. It would be a ceaseless reservoir of materials. Wouldn't that be far more cost-effective than buying a few eggs at a high price now?"
William was serious about this.
Alchemical experiments also required a large amount of materials from magical creatures; in this regard, it was similar to Potions.
Besides, Otto lived a life of luxury every day, contributing nothing other than being a pet. It was time for him to pull his weight.
Furthermore, if raising Runespoors in the Forbidden Forest promoted biodiversity and could serve as teaching aids for Care of Magical Creatures... would that count as [Campus Construction]?
Adding some points for that would be quite reasonable, right?
Snape's angry expression froze. His brain worked rapidly, seemingly weighing the feasibility of William's proposal.
"...Makes sense."
A moment later, Snape released his grip on his wand and stopped snarling. He gave William a deep look and said coldly, "I will find time to ask around in Knockturn Alley."
"Looking forward to your good news, Severus."
William glanced at the clock on the wall and snapped his fingers with a smile.
The alchemical puppet immediately holstered the gun and, like a loyal servant, picked up a stack of alchemy textbooks from the table.
"Well then, see you around. I have to go give those long-awaiting students their first Alchemy lesson of the term."
William straightened his robes. With a brisk sound of footsteps, he led the puppet out of the room, leaving Snape standing alone, contemplating the soundly sleeping male snake.