Cassian sat flatly on a cold wooden bench, his fingers trembling slightly as he unbuttoned the high, stiff collar of his uniform to let his heated skin cool down. His bluish-hued mana was still restlessly humming under his skin, a volatile current from the sheer volume of high-level spells he had aggressively chained together during practice.
Yet, despite the raw power flowing through him, his face remained completely pale and frail from sheer physical exhaustion. He was pushing his body to its absolute limits, using the grueling training as a shield to keep his own swirling thoughts at bay.
*SLIDE!*
The heavy wooden door to the private locker room of the Crimson Vanguard's training plaza slid open with a low rumble. Lucien stepped inside, carrying a fresh tray of mana stones and clean towels. The knight's broad shoulders were completely relaxed, moving with an effortless grace, and his ice-blue eyes held a faint, lingering trace of adrenaline from his own short training session.
Lucien paused, his gaze immediately landing on the slumped form of the prince. And a heavy, painful ache squeezed his chest at the sight of Cassian's exhaustion.
"My Prince,"
Lucien spoke, his deep voice carrying a quiet weight that filled the quiet room. "Aren't you overworking yourself too much for someone who still suffers from the previous night's... —after effects? You are running yourself into the ground, and it is becoming difficult to watch."
Cassian didn't look up, his posture stiffening instantly at the sound of the knight's voice. Not because of Lucien's concern for him but because of the reminder of the previous night's events...his manly pride was slightly triggered by every reminisce that played about in his head.
"Not at all, Sir Arden. This is just me replenishing my stamina."
"Oh, talking about stamina..." Lucien stepped closer, his boots clicking softly against the stone floor. He set the tray down, though his eyes never left the sharp line of Cassian's jaw.
"I am actually quite surprised that you are so spent compared to Sora. The Divine Elf seemed entirely untouched by the night's events, while you can barely sit upright. And that makes me wonder..."
Lucien's voice trailed off but Cassian's side glare was ready to pierce at him.
"Your Highness, somehow did you switch with—"
Before the subject could get any further, Cassian abruptly stood up, tossing his damp towel aside as if attempting to physically flee the conversation before it even trapped him. He drew himself up to his full royal height, erecting a cold, invisible wall between them.
"Sir Arden," Cassian interrupted, his voice sharp and laced with a frosty authority.
"Aren't you being far too presumptuous when it comes to my private concerns regarding my personal mating with my chosen mate? My bedroom is not a matter for your curiosity, nor does it require your commentary."
Lucien stopped, the rejection hitting him like a physical blow, but his expression remained carefully masked. He raised his hands slightly in a peaceful gesture.
"Your Highness, please don't misunderstand. It was truly not my intention to step out of line or cause you distress. I only care for your well-being."
"Just forget it, Sir Arden," Cassian countered coldly, turning his back to the knight. The distance between them felt like an ocean, wide and uncrossable.
"And be glad that you are still allowed by my side even after what you did yesterday. You crossed a line, Lucien. Once the tournament is over, your assignment as my guard will be concluded as well, and you will also be gone from my court."
Lucien looked at Cassian's rigid back for a long, silent moment. Although their eyes couldn't meet, the Crown Prince's body language, despite his confident words, was obvious enough that Cassian was deeply uncomfortable and shaken.
A profound sense of yearning washed over Lucien. He wanted nothing more than to step forward, to wrap his strong arms around those trembling shoulders and bear the weight of the prince's burdens. He yearned for him entirely—his body, his brilliant mind, his guarded soul—but he knew that pressing closer would only cause the prince to retreat into his shell and push him further away.
"I understand, Your Highness,"
Lucien noted casually, though his heart twisted painfully at the thought of being sent away. He picked up another clean, dry towel and tossed it gently, directly into Cassian's lap.
"And believe me... what happened yesterday will never happen again. I will keep my place and my distance from you. Hoping to regain your trust."
"Well then, I am glad that we understand each other,"
Cassian replied flatly. He caught the towel, his fingers tightening around the fabric as his eyes narrowed slightly.
He deliberately kept his gaze fixed on the floor.
'I don't even feel safe around him anymore, Perhaps I never did but now it's even worse. Worse that fearing for my head to fly off from my neck.'
Cassian thought frantically, his heart hammering against his ribs.
'One moment of letting my guard down, one second of showing vulnerability, and his hands will be all over me. I don't want that. I can't allow it. It brings about a wavering in my heart, a dangerous warmth, and I cannot allow myself to feel it.... especially to the point that I even question my leave to travel back to Earth.'
Cassian patted the towel over his sweaty forehead, trying to ground himself.
'I still need to leave this world. This is no longer about escaping his death tropes, because I know he no longer wants me dead... but that's exactly what terrifies me. I'm afraid that I am getting too comfortable with this life as well. I'm afraid that if I let Lucien in, if I let myself love him, my heart will fail me and make me want to stay. I don't want to forget about Earth. I can't forget my real life, my family....I have suffered enough in this world, for many lives and with his very own hands. I can't let those very hands stop me from leaving. It will hurt so much, especially when I will eventually have to restart everything from scratch like a cursed loop. I can't bear that anymore, it's time to go.'
Cassian stared blankly at the stone wall, his thoughts racing through the suffocating checklist of his duties.
'Training is no longer necessary anyway. Being stuck on the fourth circle adept stage is enough for me, since I don't have to strengthen myself to fight him in a bloody end anymore. After all, I am certain to leave within three months. But before that, I still need to find the remaining artifacts. I still have to move Sora safely to the Elven lands by the end of the tournament. Then there's Adrian and Thoris's wedding along with Elyria too... Come to think of it, Adrian must be panicking to hear my response over the letter he sent me. But why bother anymore? I'm going to leave anyway. So it doesn't really matter.'
Suddenly a bitter taste rose in his throat as he thought of the final and most important task.
'Then there's finding the woman who is supposed to be Lucien's first true love according to the original story... In fact, that must be my priority above all else. It's even more important than finding my own way home. I have to find her so I can push this maniac away from me, so he can anchor his heart to someone else while I master traveling back to Earth. Knowing how fiercely he yearns for me now, he will definitely get in my way and stop me from leaving if I don't give him someone else to love and I don't want to be held back.'
"My Lord..."
Lucien's soft, low call broke through the heavy silence, instantly snapping Cassian out of the dark spiral of his thoughts.
Cassian blinked, realizing he had been staring into space for minutes.
"Huh?...What is it?"
"Are you okay, my Lord?" Lucien asked, stepping just an inch closer, his ice-blue eyes filled with an unspoken, desperate tenderness.
"You seem incredibly weary. Your mind feels miles away."
"I'm fine, I'm fine... just exhaustion catching up on me," Cassian said quickly, dismissively waving his hand to cut off the knight's concern. He reached for his royal cloak, sliding it over his damp shoulders with a brief, heavy sigh that sounded far too old for his years.
"Perhaps I should visit my Imperial father for a moment," Cassian muttered softly, adjusting the heavy fabric around his neck. "After all, I owe him a proper explanation over Sora and the bond. He must have so many questions, and I cannot avoid my royal duties."
Lucien didn't answer right away. He simply leaned his massive frame against the stone wall across from the prince, crossing his arms over his chest. His gaze dropped, tracking the movement of the cloak until it rested on the faint, purple bruise still lingering on the side of Cassian's neck—...the undeniable, vivid proof of the intense lovemaking with Sora from their endless intimate 'clash' the night before.
Seeing that mark, an acute, suffocating pang twisted deep inside Lucien's gut. It wasn't a simple jealousy anymore; it was a deep, hollow envy. He was forced to stand by as a mere guard, allowed only to look, to protect, and to yearn for a man who kept him at arm's length. The unsaid words between them hung thick in the air—a desperate declaration of love from the knight, and a terrified plea for distance from the prince and it was agonizing for Lucien by every second....and yet he still remained patient and hopeful.
"I will quickly alert His Majesty that you wish to see him,"
Lucien finally said, his voice dropping an octave, thick with forced formality. He offered a low, graceful bow, his eyes lingering on Cassian for one last, searching second.
"Continue to prepare yourself thoroughly so long, My Prince."
Lucien turned and made his way out of the changing room, the heavy door sliding shut behind him with a definitive click.
The moment the door closed, Cassian's royal facade collapsed. He let out a breath so loud and ragged it shook his entire frame, as if he had been suffocating the entire time the knight was in the room. He sank back onto the wooden bench, covering his face with his hands as a single, desperate thought echoed in the silence of his mind.
"This cannot continue... I have to find his true love. He has to go, before he makes me want to stay on his side any longer."
*****