"A-are you okay, G-Golden Steam?" Rinne said. Despite her current appearance, she focused her attention on me, and only me.
Her legs, sprawled out on the ground, were still trembling even though the threat of…me had long passed. Pale fingers that stuck out from the fingerless gloves I gave her clutched her chest tightly as she steadied her breathing.
How can I respond to those scarlet eyes that never once left me?
Am I even allowed to? If I were, would it matter?
I dropped my hands to my sides.
There was no denying what I did—or rather almost did. Lilas using her artifact was proof of the sin I was about to commit.
This is the second time I nearly killed Rinne. I could blame the shadow all I wanted, but to them, the action was done by me and me alone. They cannot see what I see.
They…they will never understand that haunting visage of Rinara.
"Golden Steam…?" Rinne's soft voice hummed in my mind. Its worried tone stung me with every second it echoed.
Stop.
Make it stop. I was undeserving of those kind eyes. The eyes that looked like her mother's.
A sharp pain came from the palm of my hand. My nails dug deep, tearing the flesh of my palms.
I can't stay quiet; I need to say something.
I need to tell her I'm a monster—
"Rinne," a sharp voice came from behind.
The blue-haired priestess who usually acted like anything but a priestess stood before Rinne. Sara was behind her, watching silently with curious eyes rather than fearful ones.
Rinne returned Lilas's gaze. Her trembling stopped, and she stood up from the ground.
"Return to the chapel and notify Sister Claire." She said, "Honestly, your staying here is more of a liability than a benefit." Her tone clarified that there was no room for rebuttal.
Rinne's scarlet eyes narrowed as she challenged that fact. "What?" She forced herself to look bigger than she really was. She threw out her hand as she spoke. "What do you mean I am a liability?"
"You heard me," Lilas said more harshly than before. "You engaged in a petty argument during a mission and fell to your knees the second a void spawn came into view."
"A void spawn?" Rinne stepped back as she stole the words straight out of my mouth. "Was that feeling really a void spawn appearing?"
There was no void spawn here. I turned to look at Lilas, who tapped her foot in a coded message. "Play along."
Was she driving Rinne away?
"Go back and alert her." Lilas relaxed her gaze and turned around. She looked over her shoulder with dramatic flair. It gave me the impression that she wasn't taking this as seriously as she should. Maybe it was her way of trying to soften the impact of her words. "Get some rest."
Rinne was none the wiser as she took Lilas's words to heart. She looked shattered, as if the words that she never wanted to hear had slammed into her chest. It was painful to watch, but objectively, if that shadow returns, who knows if Lilas might be able to stop me. I haven't taken those pills in over a day. If anything, I was the real liability here.
"Do as she says, Rinne," I said, playing along with Lilas's charade. "A distracted mind is the fastest way to get killed by those creatures. Remember what happened to me a few days ago? When you and Muller came to save me from that void spawn?"
There was no way I could forget it, at least. That creature was unique compared to the other void spawns I've dealt with. Not to mention, it knew of my guilt as if it had watched it happen. It referred to Rinara as "Mother."
Rinne's spirit looked even more crushed than before. It was for her own good, at least that's what I am telling myself.
"I-I-I understand." Rinne hung her head low, offering no further resistance. She turned around and made her way back from where we had come. Before fully disappearing out of sight, she took one last glance at me. She muttered something faint, something that only I could hear. "Was that really a void spawn? Or am I just in the way?" She turned back around and disappeared behind some buildings.
"What a pain." An emotionless murmur filled the air. I turned to see Lilas staring at me with a blank expression. "Having to babysit during a job is such a pain." She then looked down at Sara and gave her a doting smile. "But not you; you are more useful than anyone in the world, except for Father Muller."
I bit my tongue. This woman truly fits the rumors that Muller warned me about.
She looked at me with her blue eye and tilted her head a little. "What?" she said coldly. "She was in the way; she made you snap. Besides, I did you a favor. Call us equal for you not telling anyone about…it."
Lilas then narrowed her gaze onto me. She held out her right hand with her fingers positioned to snap.
"Just what were you planning to do with that crazed look in your eyes?"
Crazed?
Whenever Muller stopped me, he was staring into my eyes.
Margaret just lectured me yesterday that I had a particular look in my eye whenever I see that shadow appear.
But how was it crazed? If anything, I'm terrified. When that thing appears, I cannot move. I cannot even breathe normally. It feels as if my heart is trying to escape the confines of my chest. Yet all I look like to them is a crazed man?
"No answer?" She sharpened her gaze.
"M-mother L-Lilas!" Sara tugged at her arm. She grabbed Lilas's right hand. Lilas's gaze turned onto her. Sara shuddered, but she still held onto her hand. "B-Big Sister L-Lilas."
Lilas's body twitched the moment Sara uttered those words. Her emotionless mask was cracking, a slight semblance of a smile daring to appear in its place. Sara saw this and swallowed hard.
"Big Sister Lilas!" she shouted in a cute voice.
"Guh!" Lilas's expression melted into one full of love. She grabbed Sara's small body and squeezed her tight. "You are too cute!!!"
Sara grunted in pain, but despite that, she turned her head to face me. She held up her hand and gave me a thumbs-up.
Her intuition is sharp for her age. As much as it stung my pride to rely on her to break this tense air, I was very much grateful.
Lilas noticed her little action, and her expression darkened a bit. She released Sara and turned back to face me. Her single eye looked at me with a distant look before she let a sigh leave her lips.
"Look," her tone was normal, not emotionless, not exaggerated. "This was my fault," she bowed. "I was the one to instigate it, and she asked you that harsh question because of it. For that, I apologize." Then she lifted her head. "But that doesn't change the fact that there is something messed up in your head."
Lilas took a deep breath, a smile overcoming her face. She grabbed Sara's hand. Sara let out a pained noise at the sudden action. As Lilas turned around, Sara looked up to see her. Sara's expression turned sad as she forced a smile.
"Let's go!" Lilas said, swinging Sara's arm.
"Y-yeah!" Sara played along, looking back at me with a pleading expression.
I walked beside them. "Be gentle with her; she's a delicate child."
"…" Lilas said nothing, but Sara's expression softened as the grip on her hand loosened.
Ragged buildings soon gave way to affluent ones. Polished pipes were more hidden, and water cascaded from the ceiling, dropping from building to building as several layers of buildings towered up.
Sara looked around in awe. She was born in the Middle Core, so it made sense that she had never seen what the Middle Inner Ring looked like. It's still jarring how thin the single line dividing the two sections was. But that was just how the city was built; there was no point in trying to understand the builders of the past.
We traveled on the path that Muller and I avoided the night before I got drunk out of my mind. A large fountain stood in the center of the road, with several shops surrounding it. The people of the Inner Ring were wary of us. They looked at the priestess with the large sword on her back, muttering things like: Are we safe? Is something else out there? What's going on?
I leaned toward Lilas and spoke quietly, "You are drawing a lot of attention."
Lilas sighed, "I know…" She looked up, searching for something, and snapped her fingers. A blue glow illuminated the area, covering her body.
Nails, scrap metal, anything magnetic shot towards Lilas violently, tearing her clothes and exposing her chain mail.
I scooped Sara and pulled us back out of the danger zone of this thoughtless priestess. The moment I did, Lilas launched herself into the air. She looked as if she were ascending to the heavens. She landed on top of a building and looked down at me.
"I'll…move…ahead…" My ears barely picked up what she was saying from the rooftops.
The passersby stood in awe as they looked up at the woman who had just launched herself into the air. Some simply just accepted the unordinary actions of this woman and continued walking.
This woman is truly an idiot.
"She's weird," Sara said as she watched the woman disappear.
"I'm glad that we share the same thought," I said, holding onto Sara's hand. Before we moved, I noticed that my back felt lighter.
Shit! I looked around frantically until I saw my Gearsaw embedded in a building's side. I retrieved it, only to find its sheath torn again.
"Ahaha…" Sara stepped back, looking away awkwardly.
"That damn woman…" I muttered.