Each step was made harder by the heavy wedding gown, the laces itchy, and the hijab tighter than usual. Maidens flocked around me, circling and chatting, bearing happy faces with hints of blush. Some leaned toward my ear and whispered,
"How lucky you are."
Instead of settling into the mood and atmosphere, my head remained in a daze. The chandeliers sparkled brightly enough to blind my eyes. Everything around me glistened and shimmered. My eyes searched for one person in the bride's room.
The person who could prevent me from suffocating.
I held my dress tighter as the girls ensured my veil sat neatly. I mean, how could I get married if there were still empty spaces left on my fingers to fill?
My expression remained stiff, breathing only when necessary in an attempt to keep people from approaching me. However, that was impossible. Today, I was the highlight, "the lucky one," they said.
A few young ladies, well known in the community for having asked for his hand many times before, scowled at me. They gaped and glared while I stood still, preventing my gaze from meeting theirs.
"Sorry I'm late!!"
Suddenly, the door burst open, and a woman my age walked in, trying to catch her breath.
There she was, my best woman. My lifetime best friend.
Instantly, a smile crept over my face, a smile of relief. She smiled back and hugged me immediately, allowing me to feel her warmth.
Today, only two women were allowed to wear white - me and her. A promise we had made to each other a very long time ago. She stood beside me before shooing the girls away, finally allowing me to breathe.
"Where is Aunty?"
her raspy yet sweet voice asked.
"They're busy preparing. Lots to do today,"
I replied in a measured tone.
She chuckled softly with me and stared at the door, the one I would walk through in a while to enter another world.
"I won the bet,"
she announced.
I looked at her, confused. She smiled, not the same smile as the others. A smile filled with care and love.
"We bet on who would get married first. I won."
I laughed at her, but within that laugh, there was another feeling I still hadn't grasped. She noticed it too and held my hand tightly before uttering,
"I can fight this world if you don't want him…"
She looked at me with concern, laced with a hint of anger. I let out a soft breath of laughter and held her hand tighter than she held mine.
"I'm sure I want it. Don't worry, Naima."
She immediately fell silent before brushing the corner of her eyes and letting my hand go.
She became the sister I never had. We wrote each other's stories growing up. We have been best friends for 14 years now. She is all I could ever call a friend.
I could feel her loving stare from behind, perhaps even her hand trying to reach out to me. Yet, we both knew we would not hold each other back. She was afraid I might be making a mistake, while I was afraid I might drag her into mine.
My steps felt heavier again, and my head buzzed, making it harder to walk straight. I felt as if I would lose my balance at any moment.
"Here."
My eyes lifted to meet his, and I beamed at him.
"Brother…"
He would be the one to accompany me down the aisle to give my hand to another man. The expression my brother wore today was impossible to look at. He seemed tired - tired of it all - as if I were being forced into this marriage.
I intertwined my hand around his arm, and he began escorting me. He didn't speak for a while, and then at last, he spoke in a bitter tone.
"Must you get married so soon?"
Instantly, my eyes began to fill with tears. I had made a vow just for today that I wouldn't let them fall. It would only take one tear from me for the others to follow - not out of frustration, but out of love.
A child raised with so much love and care, now being given to a family who could never love her quite the same…
As the only two siblings, we had only each other. We played, laughed, fought, and ate together from the day I was born until today. He isn't just a brother. He was my best friend, my partner in crime, and my hero.
It wasn't that he feared they would mistreat me or shame me, but that they would never know the little things about me the way he did. I was his pesky little runt and also his bundle of joy at the same time. I wasn't in a place to understand how he felt, but the empathy remained.
I held the tears back before they could flood the wedding hall and pronounced in a rusty voice,
"By my Lord's will, my time has come, and indeed, He does all things well."
My brother looked away into the distance and nodded while sniffing silently. His brows softened with quiet care before he adjusted himself and breathed out tenderly.
"Come back to us whenever you want. Never hold yourself back. Promise this brother of yours."
Ah… my brother never fails to surprise me.
I smiled back and nodded a couple of times before looking up to see the man standing at the end of the hall, all attention drawn to him