The final bell of the day rings and I heave a deep sigh. I called Larry at lunch to tell him I'll be going out with friends and he sounded genuinely shocked when he said "Friends? As in plural?"
I roll my eyes. "For ease of reference."
He tells me it's alright but he needs me back home by 6. I say okay, feeling excited but also dreading actually going out.
All my limbs are quaking as I make my way to my locker. I put my books away and make sure I have all my homework with me ('cause, of course, if Nikki were here I would totally forget about all this). I spend the next couple minutes pretending to text the president or somebody important like that to stop myself from pacing around.
"Hey!" Nikki greets heading my way with the other two girls (who, of course look as put together as they were this morning). "Hold on while I get my stuff!"
"Hi," Anna waves slightly, her hand immediately going up to push her bangs out of her eyes.
"Hello," Hermione mouths, twitching an eyebrow and-- was that a wink?! I can't tell.
Flirty much, my idiot brain purrs as she lounges herself on her couch, forcing me to mentally face palm.
I hate you! You're always so embarrassing.
Just doing my job m'lady.
I roll my eyes at myself. The hallway feels so hot and and uncomfortable to be in, and it's not doing me much better to be in such close proximity with my all-time biggest crushie ever!
And, of course, Nikki's gotta be there.
And, yes, the Alvarados just happen to have an SUV waiting outside ready to take us out. I'm jealous.
And they also have all their stuff ready to go in their bags right on time.
Oh, to be them...
"Hi Anna-Kat! Hey Hermione! Hi Nikki!" a spotty red-haired 7th grader screeches as she speeds past after her friend.
"Hi!" the three chorus.
At least five more people pass by us and greet them, but only one notices and acknowledges my presence. It's one of those guys in my grade who I've never spoken to, but he knows my name for some reason.
He walks up to us, nods at Hermione and Anna-Kat like they are all homies, then holds out his fist to me. "Hey Anya. What happens?"
I feebly bump it. "Uh... I'm good, I guess."
"Sharp. Hey Nixie!"
Nikki pokes her head out of her locker. "Hey my guy. What up?" They share a brief side hug and then fist bump.
"Mrs. Anderson wants to see you." He shrugs apologetically as Nikki's smile drops and is replaced with pure dismay. "Sorry. See y'all around, then." He pulls down his baseball hat over his eyes and starts swaggering away.
Nikki lets out a loud groan and bumps the back of her head against the locker. "Ugh!"
"What is it?" I ask, but she doesn't reply. She just starts rolling down her sleeves and trying hard to lengthen her skirt.
"What are you wanted for?" Hermione asks, casually looking at the watch on her wrist and shaking off the hair that falls into her eyes with such grace and effortless poise that I immediately draw in a breath.
Oh, to be her, sighs my jealous little brain.
"It's my hair. She's been on my back for weeks about it," Nikki sighs in exasperation.
"Well then,"I suggest, "just go in your regular color."
Nikki makes an exaggerated disgusted face. "And walk around with that nasty custard-yellow mop on top of my head?! I'd rather be skinned alive while being forced to listen to Taylor Swift!"
I sigh again and catch Anna-Kat giggle into her hands. A couple people bump my shoulder as they go past, not even stopping to look back at me or even throw a sorry. The other girls throw a couple more hi's at random people and Hermione checks her watch again (why is she always doing that though?). "We need to leave now. Angus must be waiting."
"Oh!!" Anna-Kat exclaims. "Angus! I always ask him to stop being so early."
Hermione shrugs. "He insists and-- oh, hey! I'm good, you?"
Nikki slams her locker door shut, barely missing my ear. "So, y'all are going out now without me," she says sulkily and the fact dawns on me. "Oh well. Have fun guys."
"We will," Hermione says with a dazzling smile. "Let's go, Anya." She takes hold of my hand and grins warmly at me as my anxious little belly breaks Olympic records for women's gymnastics inside my body, very much without my consent.
Nikki taps my nose. "See ya, mama. Boop!" And then she roughly throws her backpack over her shoulder, sprinting away from us down the hallway toward the administrative wing.
My breath hitches. I'm alone. With these girls. Without Nikki!!!
Don't fuck up! Don't fuck up!! DON'T FUCK UP!!!
Hermione gently tugs at my arm and I follow behind her down the hallway. I notice Anna-Kat giving me a few sideways glances, looking at least mildly amused. I don't know if anyone notices but I am sweating very badly down my back and sides and hands and I want to die.
Of all days, Nikki. Of all days.
Fucking go to hell for this.
I'm led over to a black SUV parked in the lot. Hermione lets go of my hand, opens the front passenger door, and slides in. "Get in," she says cooly before shutting the door.
I reach for the door handle, but Anna-Kat reaches it before me. Her head turns to me and her eyes widen apologetically. "Oop! Sorry. Let me." She opens the door and gestures for me to go in before me.
I feel my heart start racing and my cheeks get hot. "Uh... thank you," I mutter before clumsily climbing in. She gets in after me and smiles as my shaky ass hands struggle to fix my seat belt.
Why am I being so stupid today!!
"Hi Angus," Anna says to the man seated in the driver's seat. He seems very tall, and he's thin, dressed in black with thin square glasses sitting on his nose. He doesn't give more of an answer than an unbothered grunt that I feel is a bit cold. Anna just shrugs at me and pulls a book out of her backpack.
I squint at the cover and I immediately blurt out. "Hey! I read that last summer."
She looks up and grins. "Oh? You did? That's nice. It's pretty good."
"Yes, it is," I say stiffly, feeling shy again.
Anna-Kat gives me a smug sideways grin. "I was never told you liked erotica."
My cheeks flush and I instinctively clap my hands over my ears and turn away to the window. I do not turn back for the rest of the car ride, being fully aware of the emotional implication. The air con is on full blast, and the car smells like Febreze Clean & Fresh. There is the muffled sound of traffic outside and I stare into it as it moves past, hoping it would take me away with it.
My ears catch whispering and Hermione bursting out laughing follows. "It's okay, Anya. She reads WAY dirtier than that. Trust me." I don't reply though.
"Where did you say you wanted to be again?" Angus asks in a nicer-sounding voice than I'd expected.
"Asia Land," Hermione answers.
"Ooh!" Anna-Kat exclaims cutely. "ASIA LAND!"
YES!! I mentally scream. We're going to I and Nikki's fave Koreo resto!! She must have suggested this. I smile happily.
When we arrive, we find a cozy little corner and sit down. I take in the smells and steady hum coming from the people around us, and I immediately feel calmer and more grounded. Hermione reaches for the menu, then stops and pushes it toward Anna-Kat. Anna replies her pleading smile with a smug one as a waiter I've never seen before walks over to us.
Anna orders chicken teriyaki while Hermione asks for jjajangmyeon. The waiter turns to me. "What would you like?"
I stare at the menu, suddenly unsure of what the word "like" means anymore. Anna-Kat answers for me in the smoothest tone that makes me swoon. "She would like some mochi. Am I right?" She turns to me and I give a shy nod. The waiter scribbles down our orders and promises (with a very pretty smile, too) to have out orders ready.
God! Everyone's smiling at me today.
"So," Hermione says when the waiter is gone. "What else do you do other than read?"
"Uh... me?"
"Yeah. You."
"Uh... I can draw."
"Oh," Anna cuts in. "Me too. Twin!" she squeals as her face squishes into a big smile that makes her eyes disappear. I just want to reach out and pinch her cutie cheeks but, of course, I do not.
I'm not ick like that. I have self control.
"Yeah, twin!" I smile back at her, feeling very tingly.
I turn back to Hermione. "What do you do? Do you read as well."
"Oh no!" she says waving her hands to land her point. "I do NOT read."
"Oh?"
"Yeah," Anna says. "She can't read."
"I'm dyslexic," Hermione explains.
I blink.
"Oh?" I say not knowing what to say. "Oh."
"Yeah," she chuckles. "Anna reads menus for me." She tosses a half-affectionate glance toward a proud-looking Anna-Kat. "So embarrassing."
Anna gives the peace sign. "Always ready to humiliate you!"
"That's... unexpected," I mutter, my anxiety fizzling slowly. I now see Hermione in a new light, and she starts being more of a tangible person to me now and less like that abstract, unreachable diva.
Well... now she is tangible. Sort-of reachable now, I guess. Diva, but real.
I don't know why, but knowing this just makes me feel a bit better. Like, she's not that flawless and ethereal in an intimidating way anymore.
I dunno. It's hard to put into words. Lol.
"I hate books," Hermione says flatly. "They've always been those demons that haunt me relentlessly every year of my life that I remember."
"Oh you," Anna teases. "They're not that bad."
Hermione gives her the side eye and Anna explodes laughing. I giggle a bit, very much enjoying this.
Our food arrives, and the conversations shifts. "Thanks," Hermione says, smiling at the waiter. Then she turns to me and says, "Alright. Let's eat!"
"Yass!" Anna-Kat whisper-shouts in her heart-meltingly smooth voice. "Let us eat!"
And so, we do.