The text floated in my vision, glowing an angry, administrative red.
[ADMIN_02]: "Who is this? Why did you just modify a texture file in Sector 7 without logging a ticket?"
My heart hammered against my ribs like a trapped bird. I stared at the message.
They know.
Someone was watching. Not a god, not an AI, but another Admin. And if they found out a Level 4 player had cracked the Developer Console, I wouldn't just get banned. I'd probably get deleted. Like, existence deleted.
"Jax?" Miller asked, nudging my shoulder. "You okay? You look like you're buffering."
"Fine," I croaked, wiping sweat from my forehead. "Just... checking the map."
I focused on the chat box. I needed to reply. I couldn't ignore it.
If I sounded like a human, I was dead. I had to sound like them. I had to sound like a stressed-out corporate developer who didn't have time for this nonsense.
I mentally typed, my fingers twitching on my invisible keyboard.
[USER: JAX] > REPLY: "Running emergency optimization on Sector 7 assets. Legacy spaghetti code was causing memory leaks. Do not interrupt process or the physics engine might crash."
I held my breath. It was total nonsense, but it was the kind of nonsense developers used to scare junior employees.
Three agonizing seconds passed. The three dots ... of the other Admin typing appeared.
[ADMIN_02]: "Understood. Legacy code is a nightmare in that sector. Ticket #9942 created. Carry on, but file the paperwork next time."
[ADMIN_02 HAS LOGGED OFF.]
I let out a long, shaky exhale that sounded like a deflating tire.
"We need to go," I said, standing up too quickly. The caffeine from the #1 DEV Mug was making my legs vibrate. "I don't like sitting in the open."
"Agreed," Miller said. "Let's find the Exchange. We need to sell this loot."
We moved deeper into the Safe Zone. Times Square was unrecognizable. The flashing billboards that used to sell Coke and Broadway shows were now displaying Quest Boards and Guild Recruitment ads.
[WANTED: DUNGEON DIVERS (LEVEL 10+)] [BUYING: MONSTER CORES - HIGH PRICES!] [THE IRON VANGUARD IS WATCHING YOU.]
The center of the square had been turned into a massive open-air market. Players were shouting prices, haggling over armor, and showing off skills.
But something was off.
The vibe wasn't "heroic adventure." It was "prison yard."
Players wearing the red-and-black armbands of the Iron Vanguard were everywhere. They weren't just guarding; they were bullying. I saw a merchant handing over half his earnings to a grinning Vanguard enforcer. I saw a low-level Healer getting shoved into the mud for walking too slow.
"This guild," Sarah whispered, clutching her staff. "They aren't nice people."
"Power corrupts," I muttered. "And absolute power gives you a god complex."
We reached the Exchange Center, a repurposed H&M store. Inside, a long counter was set up. Behind it sat a man who looked like he'd been a used car salesman in his past life. He had the slicked-back hair, the oily smile, and a nameplate that read: Viper (Level 18 Merchant).
"Fresh meat from the tutorial?" Viper sneered, looking us over. "Let's see what you got. Don't waste my time with trash."
Dave stepped up, trembling. He poured his bag of gold coins onto the counter. "I have gold! Seventy-five pieces!"
Viper laughed. "Gold? Gold is useless, idiot. You can't eat gold. You can't kill monsters with gold. The currency here is Cores."
"Cores?" Dave's face fell.
"Monster Cores," Viper explained slowly, like talking to a toddler. "The crystal inside a beast. That's what powers the Safe Zone barriers. No Cores, no money."
He looked at Miller. "What about the big guy? That shield looks nice."
Miller hesitated, then placed the [Shadowguard Buckler] on the counter. "It's a boss drop. Rare quality."
Viper's eyes gleamed. He picked up the shield, tapping it greedily.
"It's decent," Viper lied smoothly. "I'll give you two nights at the inn and three ration bars for it."
"What?" Miller bristled. "That's a Rare item! It's worth way more than that!"
"Supply and demand, pal," Viper shrugged. "I'm the only buyer licensed by the Iron Vanguard. You sell to me, or you sleep outside in the Acid Rain. Your choice."
It was a shakedown. A monopoly.
Miller's hand tightened on his sword hilt. "This is robbery."
"This is business," Viper snapped. He signaled to two Vanguard guards standing in the corner. They stepped forward, hands resting on their weapons. "You have a problem with my prices, you have a problem with the Guild."
Miller froze. We were Level 3 and 4. These guys were Level 15+. If we fought, we died.
"Fine," Miller spat, reaching for the shield to take it back. "We'll go elsewhere."
"Ah-ah," Viper slammed his hand down on the shield. "Transaction fee. For wasting my time. I'm keeping the shield."
That was it. The unfairness of it hit me like a physical slap. I hated bullies. In games, I banned them. In real life, I usually just reported them.
But here?
I am the Admin.
I stepped forward, pushing past Miller.
"Whoa, hold on," I said, my voice shaking slightly but gaining strength. "That seems like a bug."
Viper looked at me, amused. "A bug? Who are you, the Orkin Man?"
"I'm just a guy who reads the Terms of Service," I said. "And I think your shop is... glitching."
"Get lost, trash," Viper growled. "Guards, toss them out. Keep the shield."
The guards stepped forward.
I brought up my Console.
[TARGET: VIPER (PLAYER)] [CLASS: MERCHANT]
I couldn't delete him. I couldn't kill him. But I looked at his [Speech Settings].
In every MMO, there's a profanity filter. A system that turns bad words into asterisks ****.
But I had access to the Developer dictionary. The one used for "April Fools" events.
> [ACCESS SETTING: LANGUAGE_FILTER] > [TARGET: VIPER] > [MODE: UWU_TRANSLATOR_V1.0] > [FORCE APPLY]
"I said get lost!" Viper shouted.
Except, that's not what came out of his mouth.
"I said get wost! UwU!" Viper shouted.
Silence descended on the shop.
Miller stared. The guards stared. Viper stared.
"What?" Viper touched his throat. "What the heww is happening to my voice-y woice?"
He clamped his hands over his mouth, his eyes wide with horror.
"I... I sound wike a wittle baby!" he screamed. "Stop it! Stop dis wight now! Pwease!"
The two massive guards looked at each other. Ideally, they should have been intimidating. But hearing their boss scream "Pwease!" broke them. One of them snorted.
"You think dis is funny?!" Viper shrieked at the guard. "I wiww have you executed! I am a powewfuw mewchant! Rawr!"
"Did he just say 'Rawr'?" Sarah whispered, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
I leaned against the counter, taking a sip from my mug. "Wow. That sounds like a serious curse. 'The Curse of the Cringe.' Very rare."
Viper grabbed my collar. "You! You did dis! Fix it! Fix it ow I kiww you!"
"I can try," I said calmly, removing his hand from my shirt. "But I'm gonna need that shield back. And a fair price. Say... ten gold coins per night at the inn?"
Viper looked at the guards. They were useless; they were laughing too hard. He looked at the crowd gathering outside, pointing and giggling. His reputation was dissolving by the second.
"Fine!" Viper squealed. "Just make it stop! Take the stupid shiewd! Take the gold! Just hewp me!"
"Pleasure doing business," I smiled.
I mentally toggled the filter off.
> [REMOVE FILTER]
"I—I..." Viper gasped, testing his voice. "I will kill you! I will... wait. My voice is back."
"Pleasure doing business," I repeated, grabbing the shield and tossing it to a stunned Miller. "Come on, guys. Let's go get a room."
Viper stood there, red-faced and panting, but he didn't stop us. He was too confused, too humiliated, and too scared that the "curse" would come back if he pushed his luck.
We walked out of the store like kings.
Once we were down the street and out of earshot, Miller grabbed my arm. His eyes were wide.
"Jax," he hissed. "What was that? That wasn't an item skin. You... you hacked him."
I looked at Miller. I looked at Sarah and Dave. They were looking at me differently now. Not as the weak load they had to carry, but as something... dangerous.
"I told you," I said, looking at the towering digital castle of the Iron Vanguard in the distance. "The system is full of bugs. I just know how to exploit them."
I took another sip of coffee.
"Now, who's hungry?"